Carpathia

It's all a blur as we are helped on the deck.

Joan and the girls are taken one way, I another.

"Marigold!" Numbly I turn to the voice.

Cosmo is rushing toward me.

"Oh! My dear girl! Look at you, come with us."

I don't speak.

I barely react.

Cosmo leads me towards Lucile who embraces me.

As the pair lead me through the deck of the Carpathia I look around, staring at the faces of the grieving widows, grieving mothers, grieving children, they bring me up the steps and into a warm room where the rest of the first-class congregate.

Everyone looks at me when I enter, wanting to see who the survivors of their peer group were.

Molly wraps me up in her embrace and pulls me down onto a sofa and holds me.

I simply relish the touch of another human being, even though it's not the one I want.

Mother is Sitting opposite us, staring at me with an unreadable look.

She opens her mouth to speak but no words come out.

Unshed tears appear in her eyes.

I have no patience for her right now.

The waiter comes round with tea, Molly grabs me a cup and placed the warm drink in my hand.

"This should warm you up."

I take the tea and sip.

It's almost mechanical my movements

For once everyone is solemn, ismay is hunched over in the corner refusing to took at anyone, Cosmo and Lucile sit together and hold one another, the countesses is slowly drinking tea dried tears stain her cheeks.

Other first-class passengers sit together in groups, in shock or mourning.

Cal is sitting by himself in a corner.

Red hit anger surges through me.

Is fate so cruel as to take away my husband and sister, yet let that monster live?

I would go over there and give him a piece of my mind, however, I'm just too worn out.

I just huddle close to Molly.

"I'm a widow at 19 Molly, my child will grow up never knowing their father, I...I..."

Tears drip down my face.

Goodness gracious, how can my body still have water in it, I've cried buckets already.

Molly holds me tight.

"What am I going to do without him, Molly?"

I expect Molly to answer yet she remains quiet.

"He was my world."

Molly's shoulders are tense as she turns to something behind me.

I think nothing of it as I ramble on.

"Never when we first married did I ever think I would love him so much, but I do."

"Well, I knew straight away darling."

That voice.

No.

It can't be.

My mind so consumed in grief is causing hallucinations.

A warm hand cups my face their thumb rubbing my cheek.

Hope blooms in my chest.

I still can't bring myself to turn around, still convinced this is simply my grief-stricken mind playing tricks on me.

I don't have a choice, the hand grips my chin and turns my face.

Do my eyes deceive me?

"Is this a dream?"

John smiles down at me.

"No my darling."

He's alive!

The spell that grounded me had lifted.

"John!"

I leap at him, knocking my tea and the chair over.

I don't even care as the hot liquid soaked through my dress.

Completely oblivious to the many stares.

The company be dammed.

The dam on my heart breaks and I sob into his chest.

Tears of joy, pain, loss, fear, I can't even tell anymore.

John anchors me to his chest.

I breathe in his scent, listen to his beating heart, feel his warm body around mine.

My eyes could take him in forever but I nuzzle my head into his neck, his scent of sandalwood and whiskey overpowered my senses.

"I don't understand... how did you survive? Did cal help you?"

John scowl when I mention that name and his gaze finds the man in question.

The glare John sent cals way was all-consuming and filled with hatred.

"No."

That all he says.

"Then how?"

"Well after you were On a lifeboat I returned to the staircase which unfortunately had started to flood from all angles, I was able to escape from one of the broken windows, I swam to a lifeboat but was thrown off by someone when I tried to get on."

John glared at cal.

Cal had the decency to look down, he wished to avoid eye contact with everyone.

"I was able to get myself onto a lifeboat that had Been turned upside down, it was a tight fit but I and several other men were able to stay out of the water until some other lifeboats came to help us."

I don't care how he did it, all that mattered to me was that he was here with me and we were together.

That's all that mattered.

APRIL 18TH 1912 - 9 PM

John and I gaze up at the Statue of Liberty through the rain.

welcoming us home with her glowing torch.

John had his arm wrapped around me and his hand resting on my stomach, I lean my head on his shoulder.

We're finally home.

I untangle myself from John who retreats inside, once I'm alone I open the gate that leads to the deck that had most of the steerage passengers on.

I try to find Joan and the girls, Joan mentioned that the girls wanted to see the statue.

I wanted to bid them fear-well before we go back to our lives.

I would love to keep in contact with them.

I pass a woman speaking to an attendant.

"May I have your names please?"

"Dawson, Rose Dawson.

I stop dead where I am, Whirling around I see her.

Standing in the rain with no shelter dripping wet.

She's alive!

Just as I'm about to run over to them I stop myself.

Rose Dawson.

Not Rose DeWitt Bukater.

Rose wants to start again, who am I to take that away from her.

"Marigold!" John called to me.

I spare my sister one final look, Rose looking towards the shores of New York, towards her new life.

I hope you find you're happily ever after.

Goodbye, little sister.

I return to my husband.

John noticed the bright smile on my face.

"Is everything alright?"

"Everything is perfect."

I Lean up and capture John's lips, the bright lights of home behind us.