Did that just really happen? Did Dream really just invite him to America? To Florida?
To his...house? Oh god, this is really bad. This is really really bad. He can't say yes, no matter how much he wants to. It will be a nightmare to meet him and have to hide his feelings from him. It will be impossible too. But if he said no he had to have a good reason for it. A really good reason. Because otherwise Dream would get sad, and George knew that. He would also get hurt and things would change between them. God, this was impossible.
He remembered that Sapnap had said that he was streaming with Karl and went to watch that to get Dream off his mind. The two had only been live for ten minutes but it felt as if they had already been live for at least an hour. After watching for a couple of minutes he made the mistake of opening the chat. He wouldn't say he was actually surprised with what he found but it still made him shocked.
There were almost no comments about the stream itself, most of them had to do with Dream or George. In Dreams' case, all the comments were about his panic attack or his break. They were asking Sapnap and Karl about it and asking if Dream was okay. In George's case however, it was all about how he was watching the live. He read some of them.
GEORGE IS HERE
Georges lurking again
IS DREAM OKAY?
Now when George had the chat opened he could see how hard Karl, who had facecam, tried to ignore it. He seemed to constantly try to keep the topic going and away from Dream. As if Sapnap could sense that George was looking at chat, he sent him a message.
Wanna join?
George couldn't come up with a reason not to, so he joined.
"George! George! Did you see the picture of my pussy I posted on Twitter?" Sapnap shouted.
"No." He said before processing his words. "Wait, what? Your what?"
"My cat, George. My cat. What did you think, you weirdo?" Sapnap teased him.
"What? You literally just ugh." He didn't bother continuing.
"Who was the one complaining about Dream doing that all the time, huh?"
"I wasn't complaining, I was just pointing it out. Wait, you don't even have a cat Sapnap."
"Oh, haven't you heard? Sapnap stole Patches and kicked Dream out of the house." Karl said in a serious tone.
"Wooow. George is such a fake friend. Doesn't even have my notifications turned on." Sapnap said, returning to the subject of Twitter.
"Yeah," Karl agreed. "Bet he only has his notifications turned on for Dream."
"I...don't." George lied. He did in fact only have his notifications turned on for Dream. For all of his accounts too.
"Dude you are so lying. Who else do you have your notifications on for then? Tell us." Sapnap demanded to know.
"No, it's secret." George, who didn't have a good lie, said.
"That's literally confirming it." Sapnap did not want to drop the subject and kept trying to get him to say it. They kept arguing for at least a couple of minutes before George finally confessed that Dream was the only one he had notifications on for. But he quickly came up with a lie about how he was on Twitter a lot and therefore didn't need to have notifications on for anyone because he would see it anyway.
"Then why would you have Dream's on?" Karl asked but instead of answering George stayed quiet. "He's not even denying it anymore guys." Just as George looked over to his second monitor he saw how Sapnap's mic lit up twice and he could barely hear what must be knocking. Immediately the symbol that Sapnap had muted showed up. George tried not to think about it as he kept talking with Karl and the stream. After a few minutes Sapnap was back again.
"What did he want?" Karl asked, assuming like everyone that the person who had knocked on Sapnap's door was Dream.
"Oh um...the thing that caused the other thing almost happened again." Even though Sapnap's words probably didn't make any sense to anyone, they did to George. 'The thing that caused the other thing' was most likely referencing Dream's panic attacks that caused the car accident. And the other part…
Wait…
"What?" His tone was sharp. He had just talked to Dream. Why the fuck did he almost have a panic attack after talking to him? "I have to go. Bye."
"George, don't-" He had already left.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Why did he have to do this now? It was so god damn stupid to invite George over when he was in this state. His mental health was so far away from stable right now and he couldn't think straight. If George accepted and came here for a couple of weeks Dream would find one way or another to make everything go completely wrong. Either he would accidentally let his true feelings for him show or he would say something wrong or do something wrong or-
Okay he needed to stop this. But he couldn't. He just kept thinking of all the things that could go wrong and it was so much. Way too much for him to handle right now and before he knew it, he was panicking. Except this time he remembered something he had searched for a couple of days ago. It was after the panic attack that night with the jackbox. It was a method to cope with panic attacks. Counting from 100 to 0.
Slowly he began counting the numbers out loud with a shaky breath. When he was at fifty he felt calmer and was breathing with steady breaths. All of a sudden he remembered how rude he had been to Sapnap earlier and felt a strong urge to apologize to him. Therefore he went over to the others room and remembered to knock before he went in.
"Yeah?" Sapnap called and when Dream opened the door, he was already facing him in his chair.
Dream made his way over to him and hugged him tightly. At first Sapnap seemed a bit surprised but soon he was hugging back.
"I'm sorry Nick." He whispered against his neck.
"It's all good dude. Something happened?" He asked.
"I almost had a panic attack..." Dream said slowly and Sapnap pulled away. Dream saw how Sapnap's eyes flickered down to his wound but he quickly looked away.
"But weren't you talking to George just a couple of minutes ago?" He asked while looking into his eyes. Then something seemed to click and worriedness crossed his face. "What happened?"
"I invited him here." He simply answered with.
"Did he say no?" Dream shaked his head and Sapnap looked confused.
"He didn't give an answer, he wanted to think about it."
"How did that..." He trailed off.
"It's just...what if he says yes? I don't know if i could do that. Meet him, you know. And if he says no, I don't think I can handle that either." Dream looked away.
"Hey look, if he says yes then you will have me by your side the whole time he's here. I promise I won't leave you alone in this. Also just think of all the good things. Like we can finally meet our best friend in real life after years. And maybe we can invite some other friends and have fun." Sapnap shifted in his seat. "You have to confront your feelings sometime, maybe not to him if you don't want to but...it's not healthy to just keep them bottled up you know."
"I know."
"Good, wanna stay in here?" Dream nodded and went to sit on Sapnap's bed that was on the right side of his desk. Sapnap handed him a pair of headphones so he could listen to the stream and then he turned back to his computer.
"I'm gonna unmute now. Okay?" Sapnap said and Dream nodded.
"What did he want?" Karl asked directly after Sapnap had announced that he was back. Sapnap turned to Dream and he mouthed 'what should i say?'. Dream just mouthed back 'I don't know' and shrugged.
"Oh um...the thing that caused the other thing almost happened again." Dream patiently waited on the others answers and whether they would understand or not. George was the first to say something.
"What?" The words cut through the silence and a couple of seconds later. "I have to go. Bye." Sapnap attempted to stop him but George had already left. Now Sapnap was looking at him with a panicked look.
Oh well, there was nothing he could do now except wait for George's call or whatever he decided to do now that he had left. Dream simply took off the headphones and handed them back to Sapnap before walking out of the room. It was a bit childish to ignore Sapnap's look at him as he walked out but he didn't feel like talking about it right now. Not to mention that Sapnap was still on stream.
When he got back to his room he sat down on his own bed and reached over to his phone. Of course he had a couple of messages from George.
Call me
Now
Cmon
Also some missed calls from him. Just as he was about to click on the call button on his phone, George called him. He answered.
"Are you serious?" George asked. Ok, that was not what he was expecting.
"Uh...what?"
"Are you seriously not going to tell me what's wrong?"
"George, like I have said so many times, I can't."
"Not even after that? You had a panic attack right after talking to me and then expect me not to question that? Am I not your best friend anymore?"
"Almost had a panic attack," He corrected. "And of course you're my best friend. Why would you doubt that?"
"What am I supposed to think? You don't talk to me anymore!" George shouted. Dream flinched and held the phone a bit away from his ear. He didn't expect George to shout at him like that 'cause he rarely did.
"I-" He tried to get something out but didn't know what to say. George was right. He barely talked to him about personal stuff anymore. Without noticing he had closed off to George and pushed him away. It was sad because that was something he had feared with all this and now it was becoming the truth. Damn it.
"Great point." George said sarcastically and then signed. "You obviously don't want to talk to me right now so I guess I will go. Bye."
"George, wait don't-" But George had already hung up. Dream tried to call him again but George didn't answer. Then he tried to call him again but he still didn't answer. "Fuck!" He shouted and then buried his face in his pillow. He could feel how it got wet with tears. At some point he fell asleep with his phone still in a tight grip and all of his clothes still on.
This was fucking exhausting. Karl had just ended his stream and Sapnap and him were now silently sitting in a call.
"They are both idiots." Karl stated.
"I know." Sapnap agreed. "By the way, do you know what Dream told me the other day?" Karl frowned. Was he about to be told even more secrets that he wasn't supposed to hear?
"You sure you should tell me and it's not a secret?"
"Okay, shut up. But yeah if you won't tell anyone else then it's fine."
"I won't."
"Good, so you know how Dream has had a bunch of problems lately, like his panic attacks. Well he told me the reason-"
"Are you sure you should tell me this?" Karl dubblechecked.
"Yes, I trust you not to tell anyone."
"Go ahead then."
"Um, so where should I start? Well, you know how George is in love with Dream?" Karl didn't know what that had to do with anything.
"Yes, you mentioned that." Karl teased.
"Ha-ha, very funny. Anyway, so wanna guess why Dream has panic attacks?" He had no idea.
"I have no idea."
"Okay, then what would you say if it was because he likes George." It took a while for Karl to process the words.
"Wait, so you're telling me that George...is in love with Dream and Dream...is in love with George?" It felt almost laugh worthy to say those words out loud in a serious manner. But it wasn't funny, not even a bit. This could ruin a lot of things, not only for Dream and Georges friendship but also for everyone around them. Not to talk about how if the two of them became unfriendly with each other, their carriers would suffer very badly.
Of course it wasn't all bad, there were also great things that could come out of this. If one of them confessed and everything went well after that, they could both live happily ever after. Through a screen. Thousands of miles away from each other. Without being able to see each other in real life, at least for a while. Yep, totally happy ever after.
"Yes." Sapnap sighed and Karl was reminded that he wasn't alone. His thoughts shifted to Sapnap and he was suddenly thrown into another sea of thoughts. George's and Dream's situation was actually quite similar to his own situation. He too was in love with his best friend. The only difference was that Sapnap didn't reciprocate the feelings like George and Dream did to each other unknowingly. Karl was just hopelessly in love with his best friend without any hopes of it leading to anything.
"What are you thinking about?" Sapnap asked after Karl hadn't said anything for a while.
"Just about them you know. Are you planning to tell them or what?" Karl immediately felt stupid after asking. Of course Sapnap couldent tell them, that would go so bad.
"I don't think so, it just feels like it's not my place to tell. I know they are my best friends but still."
"Yeah, I get that."
"I wonder how long it will take before one of them slip up. It's bound to happen sometime."
"Yeah and I guess that the only thing that we can do is hope that that slip up isn't in public."
"Right...I just think it would be so much easier for them if they just said something to each other."
"They are just scared." Karl felt way too protective over the subject as he was in a similar situation. He just hoped Sapnap would move on and not pick up on it.
"I know but...if i was in love with someone I would just...say it." Damn, just stab a knife in my heart and twist it.
After getting off the call about an hour later Sapnap went over to Dreams room and knocked. When he didn't get an answer he slowly opened the door and looked in. Dream was laying on the bed face down with his phone in a tight grip. Sapnap tried to make as little noise as possible while going over to Dream and taking the phone away from him. He put it down on the bedside table and then took a blanket and put it over him.
Sapnap tried not to think of the possibilities of things that could have happened after Dream had left his room but it was hard. Especially since it was obvious that he had cried. But he didn't want this to ruin his mood after talking to Karl and finally getting his hopes up.
It was just a small thing but it still somehow was the only thing Sapnap could think of. After he had said that if he was in love with someone he would say it, which was a total lie by the way, Karl didn't answer and just changed the topic. Maybe it was just wishful thinking from Sapnap's side but maybe it wasn't. Maybe it was a microscopic indication of some kind of feelings. Sapnap hoped so.
Something else that Sapnap had picked up on was that Karl was very defensive about Dream's and George's decisions to not tell each other. But maybe that was something he had just imagined. Anyway, he would not let Dream's and George's mess bring down his own mood. It was probably not that bad what had happened either. They would talk to each other tomorrow like nothing had happened.
But oh god how wrong Sapnap had been. The following day he did not see Dream at all and after finishing a recording he decided to go and see how it was with him. He at least hoped that Dream had eaten something today and not just stayed in his room. Like yesterday, there was no answer when he knocked so he opened the door. It looked the same as the night before except that Dream was now asleep hugging a pillow, facing away from Sapnap. If he had to guess he would say that Dream had not moved away from his bed in hours.
"Clay?" He whispered while gently shaking him. There was no response. "Dude, wake up." This time he was a bit less gentle when shaking him.
"Leave me alone." Dream said bitterly into the pillow.
"Have you eaten anything today?" Dream didn't answer and he took that as a no. "Come on get up, you have to eat."
"No."
"It wasn't a question." Sapnap said, using Dream's own words against him. He turned around and glared at him.
"I hate you." He muttered while standing up and walking over to the door.
"That one I haven't heard before." Dream glared at him again and Sapnap held up his hands and followed him out of the room. "Calm down, I'm just teasing you."
While cooking some pasta Sapnap looked over at Dream who was seated at the table. He wasn't moving and was just staring at the table before him. Sapnap frowned. What the hell had happened?
After he was done with the food he put down a plate in front of Dream and sat down on the opposite seat of him. Dream looked up at him and then down at the food.
"Aren't you eating?" He asked and Sapnap shaked his head.
"I did earlier, I'm not hungry." Dream started to pick at the food but didn't eat it. Sapnap frowned again and debated saying something about yesterday but eventually decided against it. It looked as if Dream would break down as soon as he said a word about it. So he just let him sit in silence while barely eating anything. Dream quickly went back to his room without a word. Guess I have to try the other end then.
"Hello?" George answered with.
"What did you do?" Sapnap aggressively asked.
"Uh what?" George confusedly said while probably knowing exactly what he did.
"Dream is like fucking depressed or something. What did you say to him?" Sapnap demanded to know. If he wasn't going to get it out of Dream, he would get it out of George.
"Nothing..." That was not convincing at all and by now Sapnap was sure that George was the one behind this.
"I don't believe you."
"So? I don't need you to believe me."
"George, you are hurting him." Sapnap knew that wasn't fair.
"And you think he isn't hurting me?" George asked and then went on. "You think I'm the one who is hurting him? Whose side are you really on huh? Because I'm starting to question if you really are switzerland as you claim to be."
"You're not being fair George." Sapnap said patiently.
"Oh, I'm not being fair. Okay."
"George-"
"I get it, you're on his side. You don't have to deny it." George interrupted.
"That's not-" Sapnap tried to say but was cut off again.
"Just stop." Was the last thing he said before he hung up and Sapnap was left hanging. He had not only failed in his mission to find out what happened but he had also left George thinking that Sapnap wasn't on his side. Which was false. Sapnap was actually on both of their sides, no matter what George said. They were both his best friends and equal to him. He now only had one choice if he wanted to find out what happened. He had to ask Dream about it.
Knock. Knock.
Dream looked up at the door and sighed. What did he want this time?
"What?" He shouted and the door opened. Sapnap walked in and was already in the middle of a sentence when he stopped and looked at him.
"We need to talk abou-" Sapnap eyed him disappointingly. "Why are you laying in your bed? You have been there all day now." He walked over to Dream's bed and sat down. "Talk to me dude." Dream groaned and pulled the cover over his head.
"Go away."
"Not until you tell me what George did." Dream took the cover away from his head and looked at Sapnap.
"What?" He said and sat up to look at Sapnap. "You talked to him?" He was suddenly very interested in the conversation.
"Yes? But that is not the point- What did he say to you?"
"It wasn't really any specific, we were just...arguing. And now he is ignoring me."
"He's ignoring me too." Well that was unusual. Most of the time when George got angry he only ignored one of them, just one of them. It was never both of them at the same time.
"Really? Why?"
"Well we also had kind of an argument."
"About what?"
"You." Dream didn't have the time to ask about it as his phone in that moment started to vibrate. He looked over to it and saw that it was his mom calling him. He glanced over at Sapnap before answering.
"Hello?"
"Hi sweetie, how are you feeling?"
"Um i'm good i guess."
"Really? And you haven't felt anything after the accident?" She asked and Dream thought about it for a while. It was weird actually, it didn't hurt at all.
"No I haven't."
"That's good, that's good...Anyways are you two doing anything tomorrow?"
"I don't think so. Why?"
"Well your siblings are visiting tomorrow and we're having a family dinner. Nick is invited of course." Dream frowned. He was surprised that the two of his siblings who weren't living at home would be able to make it.
"Both Hannah and Matt? But they were here just a couple of days ago. How are they able to make it again? They are both so busy with their jobs."
"Yes both of them and I think Hannah is bringing her girlfriend to. I guess they made time for it."
"Okay, just let me ask Nick." Sapnap who had been looking at him the entire time raised his eyebrows. He put the phone against his chest.
"You busy with anything tomorrow?" He shaked his head. "Dinner at my moms tomorrow?"
"Sure, sounds fun." Sapnap said and Dream nodded.
"He's free." He answered his mom.
"Great! So I was thinking around four pm?"
"That early?"
"Yes! I want to spend time with my children."
"Yeah yeah, we will be there." After hanging up on his mom he put away his phone and tried very hard to not check if there were any notifications. He really didn't need that stress right now.
"You good?" Dream looked over at Sapnap and nodded.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Sapnap just shrugged and they began talking about a chess stream that he was doing with Karl in a couple of days. It made Dream smile when he saw how happy Sapnap looked while talking about Karl. To him it was obvious that Karl had some kind of feelings for Sapnap and he really hoped that it would work out between them.
Okay, maybe the best choice hadn't been to ignore Sapnap and Dream because George was going crazy. Without having those two to talk to he had absolutely no idea what to do with his days. Normally he would talk to Dream or Sapnap or edit or stream. But he had nothing to edit and didn't have anyone to stream with. He could stream alone but then there was the possibility of Dream or Sapnap joining the stream. So that was a no.
He sighed loudly as he sat down in front of his computer. After George had ignored all of Dream's and Sapnap's attempts to call him they had eventually stopped. And it wasn't that he was sad that they did it was more that he didn't want them to stop. He liked knowing that they cared. Even if it was just a phone call.
Maybe he could talk to somebody else? He did actually have other friends.
Someone he hasn't talked to in a long time was Bad. He was one of George's oldest friends and still they hadn't talked in a while.
"Hi Bad!"
"Hello George! What are you up to?"
"Nothing much. I was bored. What about you?"
"Yeah, I'm not doing anything special." Bad seemed to hesitate a bit before speaking again. "George, I've heard some stuff lately and I just wanted to ask...are you okay?" What the hell did that mean? What had Bad 'heard'? Surely someone couldn't have leaked his secret...right? Maybe George should just be honest and tell Bad everything? It would be good to get everything off his chest.
"No. No, I'm not okay." He ended up telling Bad about everything. About his feelings for Dream, about Dream's car accident and about how stressful it was to have to label his own sexuality.
"George, about labeling your own sexuality, you know you don't have to do that right? You don't owe anyone that." Of course George knew that but there was still a pressure.
"I know, but it just feels like everyone will demand it. And it just makes me so anxious to not have a label to it. I like labels."
"If you want I could try and help you?" Bad offered and George smiled. He was glad that his friend was willing to help but he was not that convinced that it would go any better.
"Sure."
"Okay, if you're not gay then what about bi?"
"I don't think so. Dream is the only man I've ever been attracted to."
"Right." Bad said thoughtfully. "That rules out pan and I guess also omni." He was quiet for a bit before suddenly saying. "What about queer?" George frowned, confused. Wasn't that just an umbrella term for anyone in the LGBTQ?+ community?
"What do you mean?"
"You can identify as queer."
"Okay...then what does that mean?"
"I'm actually not entirely sure. I think it doesn't really have a definition and it's just anything that isn't straight." George was surprised. Maybe Bad could help him after all.
"That's actually..." He trailed off. "Maybe, I'm going to think about it. Thank you so much, Bad."
"Of course George."
"Who knew that you would know so much about this stuff?"
