Dear Journal,

I thought I'd be having breakfast this morning with Father, but nope, I was wrong. Can't he just spend the morning with me, instead of me having to model?

I'm tired of wearing the clothes, the photo shoots. Being someone I'm not. I don't want to be a model anymore.

I take a deep breath and decide to tell him how I really feel. I'm willing to take that risk.

I march into his study, the anger is making me brave. "Father!" The door to his office bangs open. Suddenly, the feeling of taking a risk is gone. "Adrien, why aren't you in the clothes I gave you? Go change," Father says. "Yes, Father."

Plagg is discouraged that I didn't tell him what I was feeling, but I don't want disobey Father, no matter how much I don't like it.

I plaster a smile on my face, as I have to work with Lila. Then…. "You'll be going on a trip with Lila, Adrien, to film these commercials," Father says, but the words are far away, like being inside a tunnel.

"Father, I have to stay in Paris!" All my friends are here, and its my job to keep Paris safe, helping M'lady. And Marinette. I would miss her so much….

I can't hide the disappointment on my face as we take more pictures before school. As usual, Father seems to have the final say.

We're playing doge ball and I'm so distracted by everything going on inside my head, that I'm the first one to be out.

Thank goodness Marinette is the second one and she comes to stand beside me. Then I blurt out my anger at my father to her, like a stove lid about to boil over. The anger is hot, and it feels good. Marinette tells me I need to stand up to him, and I tell her that I love father, he loves me, and I don't want to disappoint him.

My hand is trembling again, and tears prick my eyes. Just like in the car, there's nothing to hold onto….then I grab Marinette's hand. It is cool and soft, and it makes me feel safe.

I know she wants to tell me something, but we keep getting interrupted! They're so happy that I get to go on this trip, but they have no idea how I feel. Just Marinette.

When I get home, I'm surprised to see Felix. "What are you doing here?" I ask, and I know I sound crabby. "We'll switch places like when we we're younger, and you could use some help."

I pick up a pile of clothes, irritation flaring. "I'm doing fine on my own," I say, facing my cousin. "And have you told your father?"

I look away. "I can't disobey him," I tell him. "Maybe you can't but I can," he says.

I don't know if this is a good idea when we switch clothes. I don't want my cousin to trick me again.

But I'm going to take the risk. "Your right," I say. "But what am I going to do in the meantime?" "You only have one life, Adrien."

When they leave, I'm in hiding. Soon, I go back into the house, back into the office. "Father?"

There's a disc of some sort on the floor….That's when the floor rumbles and look upwards…. To be continued, dear Journal.

Adrien Agreste

-Cat Noir