A/N: It makes me really happy that everyone seems to be liking this so far! I'm having so much fun writing it. :) Sorry for the late post, I really do aim to post weekly, but I had family visiting. Enjoy!
—-
If you need a friend
Don't look to a stranger
You know in the end
I'll always be there
And when you're in doubt
And when you're in danger
Take a look all around
And I'll be there
When In Rome, The Promise
—-
Chapter 7: SOS
Near the end of August, a stifling heat wave fell over the island. It was so unbearably hot that Horace only had a skeleton crew working, and only in the buildings that had air conditioning, like the cafeteria, infirmary, or the security office. Though the weather had been seasonably warm all month long, the sudden, unexpected increase in temperature was making everyone unhappy as they clustered together inside like hermits; the compound looked like a ghost town.
After three days of scorching heat, Miles called it quits. Enough was enough. "I can't with this goddamn heat!" he exclaimed, and groaned at the effort of picking himself up off the couch. He'd been lying underneath the ceiling fan praying for death for over an hour. The AC was puttering, as if it too were desperately trying to rest. If he had to sit around like this much longer, he was certain the only thing left behind would be a Miles-shaped puddle on the couch he'd just vacated.
A few seconds later, he popped his head into the bathroom where Jin was taking a cold shower. "Hurry up! We're leaving!" he called out, and slammed the door behind him. He was in and out so fast Jin didn't even have time to process what Miles had said and respond. He scrunched up his face in confusion, but did as he was told and shut off the shower. He'd finished washing a while ago, anyway.
Next, Miles found James lying in his hammock with a bucket of water next to him. He kept dunking a washcloth in the water and squeezing its contents over his bare torso. The little rivulets barely stood a chance before they evaporated and James had to squeeze even more onto his body. "Get up, Jim. We're leaving!" Miles barked, smirking to himself when James startled.
"Where we goin', Genghis?" James called back, struggling to sit up, but Miles was already walking away.
"The beach!" Miles called out, not even bothering to look over his shoulder. He stalked over to Juliet's house, finding that he was soaked with sweat before he even arrived. He pounded three times on the door before unceremoniously letting himself inside. She was leaning into her refrigerator wearing a tank top and shorts. She didn't even bother moving as Miles approached her, though she certainly looked bashful at how he'd caught her.
"What are you doing here?" she asked mildly, standing straight.
"Get your stuff. We're going to the beach."
"Why the beach?" She closed the fridge and stepped around Miles to start heading towards her bedroom.
"Because. It won't be as hot there. Between the breeze and the water, we won't have to sit here and suffer anymore. It's too fucking hot for this."
She nodded and absentmindedly waved her hand in his direction, gesturing that she understood and he could leave. It was apparently too hot for words. He wiped his face on the hem of his t-shirt and sank into Juliet's fridge, taking up her previous position. He sighed, and she yelled at him from down the hallway. He grumbled to himself before closing it and leaving.
Half an hour later, everyone was dressed and ready to go. They snagged an open top jeep from the motor pool, and they all but moaned the moment they picked up enough speed to feel the wind on their faces. James drove and Miles sat beside him, with Jin and Juliet in the backseat. Every so often, James would look into the rearview mirror to watch Juliet. He saw her close her eyes behind her sunglasses and tilt her face to the sky. She looked beautiful, even as the wind whipped her hair around her face from her ponytail.
On his third glance, he noticed how the bumps from the uneven terrain would jostle her, and her bouncing cleavage reminded James to keep his eyes on the road. He didn't want to kill them all, and yet it was also so hard to look away. It took every ounce of his willpower to keep his eyes straight ahead.
Soon, they arrived at the north shore. They parked the jeep and unloaded before carrying the cooler, fishing rods, and their bags down the rocky hill that led to the pristine white sands below. Miles had been right: the strong ocean breeze made the temperature feel much cooler than it had felt inland, and it wasn't long before everyone was genuinely excited to spend the day together by the ocean. The heat-induced rage Miles had felt almost dissipated completely, especially when all three of his friends clapped him on the back, telling him this had been a good idea.
As they sat their bags down on the white sand, Juliet bumped her shoulder into James's. "Is it weird?" she asked hesitantly, her eyes squinting as she looked up at him. Even through her sunglasses, it was bright in the midday sun.
"Weird how?" he responded, and took off his t-shirt. The sight of his toned, tanned body glistening with sweat before her made her heart race and her throat close up.
She cleared it before responding. "Being back on the beach."
"This ain't our beach, ya know." He tucked his shirt into his bag and rooted around for the sunscreen.
"I know. But still."
James thought about it. He supposed she had a point. In his job with security, he'd certainly seen the beach from a distance on patrol, but this was the first time he'd been back on it since the time jumps, even if it wasn't the same one. He looked at her, and saw the concern on her face. He wondered if she was intentionally showing him a peek inside her mind with that look alone, when she was normally much harder to read, or if he was just getting better at reading her. He hoped for the latter.
"I'm alright," he assured her with a crooked smirk. "Ain't the same." The statement was too simple to do his thoughts justice. Nothing was the same anymore. He didn't even feel the same.
Nervously, he handed her the sunscreen and she looked at it blankly before looking back up at him. He turned away from her and bent down a little so she could reach. Juliet swallowed hard. She was going to have to touch him. Just thinking about running her hands along his body put her stomach in knots. But friends helped each other like this, didn't they?
She squirted the lotion into the palm of one hand before closing the lid and depositing it back into the sand at her feet. She rubbed her hands together and spread the milky white lotion onto James's back. He tensed and arched a little as she moved her hands across the vast expanse of his shoulders and tan skin. She spread some up the back of his neck, and hesitated momentarily before rubbing some more on his lower back as well. She could feel how hard his muscles were under her fingertips and she bit her lip as she tried in vain to keep her breathing under control.
James, meanwhile, was squeezing his eyes shut, desperately begging his body not to give him an erection right there, right then. Her touch was gentle and exploratory and he was both glad and regretful for asking her to do this in the first place.
When she was done, he watched her pick the bottle back up from the sand and stare at it, as if lost in thought. Her lips parted briefly, but James had already started speaking. "Want me to do you?"
Oh fuck, they both thought, though for entirely different reasons.
James felt his face begin to burn with embarrassment and ignored her stunned expression. He took the lotion from her and squirted some into his palm, turning her around with his dry hand. The action and the touch made her feel dizzy.
"Shirt off, Blondie," he commanded playfully, but she tugged on the hem nervously and turned back around to face him.
"I shouldn't…" she started to say, and then darted her eyes to where Jin and Miles were preparing the fishing poles and lures.
At first, James thought she might be shy about showing so much skin around the guys, but then her hand settled onto her lower back, and he realized what she meant.
He felt sick to his stomach. He'd almost forgotten. "This about the - you know?" he asked, trying not to offend her. Juliet nodded. She didn't want to have to explain herself.
"I should keep my shirt on," she answered after a moment. For more reasons than one, James said in his head. If she walked around in a bikini, there'd be no denying his bodily impulses. Blood will go where blood wants to go.
"Hey…" he said quietly. Something about this woman took away his ability to use normal words, but something needed to be said. He felt the urge crawling up his throat; he needed to do something to diffuse the tension that had suddenly grown between them. "I been wantin' to tell ya… you know, when we talked about it before, it made me really fuckin' angry. Not you! Just, you know - those fuckers didn't have the right… you were just… it's probably my fault anyway, and I…"
"James?" she said, looking mildly amused at his rambling. "I know. But it wasn't your fault, it was mine. I killed Danny. I did. They could have killed me too, but they didn't. I know you're trying to help, but it's over now, okay?" James swallowed. Then why do I feel like shit about it? he wanted to ask, but he didn't. In fact, he didn't say anything. Looking to assure him once more, Juliet added, "I can't change the past, what's done is done. And besides… it's just a mark, right?"
"Just a scar. And we all got scars, Blondie." He watched her nod, and determination flashed in her eyes. She bit her lip and took a deep breath through her nose. Before she could lose her nerve, she shrugged off her t-shirt and held it in her hands. She twisted back around and held her ponytail away from her skin: an invitation.
She felt dizzy as his rough hands spread the lotion all over her bare back. His touch was more gentle than she thought it would be as he carefully maneuvered under the halter top straps, across her bony shoulders, and even down the backs of her arms. White-hot tingles were left in his wake as his fingers glided across her skin, as if even her nerve endings were crying out for his touch to return. It made her wonder how his hands would feel elsewhere. The thought made her blush furiously.
After a moment, she started to turn away, knowing that he was going to rub some on her lower back, but he firmly held her elbow in place with one hand. When he rubbed the sunscreen on her lower back, and his palm brushed gently across her brand, Juliet wanted to cry. Not out of pain, but in gratitude.
He was so close he could smell her hair on the breeze. It would be so easy to plant a kiss on her pale shoulder, feel the smoothness of her under his lips instead of his fingers, but he held back. She didn't feel that way about him, he knew this for sure. But the reminder of that simple fact was enough to encourage him to pull away. He'd had his fun. Now he needed to get away from her before he somehow made things worse for himself.
She smiled gratefully up at him, almost shyly, when she turned back around. Wordlessly, they applied sunscreen to the rest of their own skin before James gave her a tiny wave and set off for the ocean. He needed a cold swim. After all, he could still feel her silkiness under his fingers even as he put more and more distance between them. When he got close enough, he dove in. The frigid ocean took his breath away, and he gratefully sunk beneath the waves, erasing all lingering effects of her touch.
An hour later, James laid out on the blanket Juliet had brought. She'd been the only one to lay hers out; his was still in his bag. He was panting, exhausted, and drank greedily from the canteen he'd fished out of the cooler. It was cold and refreshing against his parched throat, and he sighed gratefully as he remembered when they drank warm river water to survive. Crazy how much things had changed since then.
In the distance, her shirt back on, Juliet stood barefoot with Jin on a rock cluster at the water's edge. Waves crashed all around them, splashing them with sea spray. It looked like Jin was showing her how to thread the bait before gesticulating excitedly out to the ocean beyond. Juliet laughed, making Jin smile, and once they were ready they flicked their wrists in unison, sending the lures out into the water.
In the bright afternoon sun, Juliet's blonde hair seemed to glow. Her short shorts showed off her gorgeous, lean legs and her wet shirt only served to remind James of what lay beneath. He sighed, watching her giggle and do a little happy dance as her line went taut. Jin helped her reel it in, and she threw her hands in the air in excitement when she saw the fish attached to the end of the line. Luckily Jin was holding onto the pole, or it would have gone flying. James chuckled and shook his head. She looked happier than he'd likely ever seen her, and even from here, her joy was infectious.
"Tell your eyes they need to get a room," Miles grumbled, and plunked down onto the blanket next to James.
"The hell you talkin' 'bout, Willis?" James grunted, averting his eyes to watch the waves crashing instead.
"I don't know how you used to lie for a living man. You're bad at it."
"I sure as hell didn't ask you to sit down and insult me, so either shut up or get out."
Miles sighed and leaned back on his hands. "You and Juliet, man. I'm gettin' real tired of watching you watch her all the time. Are you gonna make a move or what?"
"It ain't none of your damn business what I do or don't do, Enos, so butt out."
"Look man, I'm your friend, and I'm just trying to help you out."
James rolled his eyes. "You don't do anything for anyone unless ya got somethin' to gain from it, so spill it. Whatcha got goin' on here?"
Miles scoffed. "Yeah, well, maybe I used to. Is it honestly such a crazy concept that maybe I want my two friends to stop moping over each other all the time and just bone already, get it out of their systems?"
James whipped his head around to glare at Miles. He was so stunned, he didn't even realize he'd missed an important detail in Miles's statement. "Did you just say 'bone?' What are you, twelve?"
"Ugh, you want me to say 'make love' instead? Jesus, like that's any better. Gross."
"Seriously, Miles, what the hell do you care?" James lashed out, flippant and unashamed. He couldn't help it. His eyes flicked back over to where Jin and Juliet were now standing side by side, holding their fishing poles in peaceful contentment. The wind was whipping her ponytail around and her signature smirk was plastered on her face. She looked beautiful as she stared out over the ocean.
"I don't. Not really. Except your mooning is really hard to ignore and you're cramping my style. Are you gonna ask her out or not?"
"No," James said, deep and resolute. "She ain't ever gonna agree - she don't see me like that. But it ain't a big deal. She's just hot, that's all."
"That's not all. I'm not blind, you moron. Because even when she looks like crap, you can't keep your eyes off her."
"What do you want me to do, huh? Shut my eyes when she's around? It don't make no difference."
"Just talk to her. Why is that so hard to get through your thick skull? Why is talking like the worst thing in the world to you?"
"Cuz it ain't that easy!" James felt his anger rising. Miles didn't understand. Things with Juliet were delicate, and there was too much at stake. If he tried talking and said the wrong thing, everything would go to shit, and it wasn't a risk he was willing to take. She was his friend, his real, honest, true friend, and she didn't need the likes of him confusing her and making things awkward. She was finally starting to come out of her shell and be happy again. He'd be a damned fool to try and tempt fate, after that 'I Never' fiasco. He'd almost kissed her, but her reaction had been enough to show him she didn't feel the same way. If she was willing to let that go, so should he.
"It is. But whatever dude. I'm not gonna make you do anything. But I swear, I know I don't have as much 'experience' with women as you do, you freak, but I know one thing: they like to talk. They need to talk. And you're never gonna get anywhere with her if you don't. If you wanna sit and suffer, be my guest, but don't come crying to me when you break your own heart because you were too chickenshit to do something about all this." He waved his hand in James's general direction and stood up. Without another word, he walked over to Jin and Juliet, putting his arms around their shoulders. Juliet laughed and snaked her arm loosely around Miles's waist. It stung him. All of it, actually, stung him badly.
He watched as Miles gently took the fishing rod out of Jin's hand, handed it to Juliet, and suddenly pushed Jin into the water. Jin sputtered as he rose, and Juliet and Miles bent over laughing. Jin narrowed his eyes, pointed at Miles, and shouted angrily in Korean.
James shook his head. Maybe Miles was right, but maybe not. But he couldn't dwell on it anymore or his brain would start to bleed. It was going to have to be a puzzle for another day. So, he stood and raced to where Miles was slowly backing away with his palms in the air, seemingly apologizing to Jin. He scooped Miles up in a fireman's carry and threw him off the rock and into the water. Juliet was laughing so hard she had tears in the corners of her eyes. He watched her for a moment, mesmerized by the sound, before a devilish gleam appeared in her expression. Before he could even realize what happened, she had shoved him off the rock and into the water too, cackling all the while.
The rest of the day passed far too quickly. They swam, built a fire and cooked the fish Jin and Juliet had caught, and napped on the blankets in the shade from the setting sun. They would need to get back soon, but no one really wanted to leave.
Juliet's face hurt from smiling all day. It had probably been the best day she'd had in ages. Even her birthday had just been okay, seeing as though she'd spent most of it at work. This more than made up for it. Her skin felt tight, probably from sunburn despite her best efforts, and it felt sticky from the drying saltwater. She hadn't planned on swimming, but James had picked her up wedding-style and brought her into the water with him, even as she kicked and flailed in protest. She'd known how cold the water was this time of year. But she soon got used to it, and James took full advantage of it. He tugged on her feet when he swam below her, splashed her, dunked her, and rough-housed like she was one of the guys. It really had been a pretty phenomenal day.
As she laid out on her blanket, she watched all three guys doze on their blankets a few feet apart from one another. James was closest to her, because of course he was. It's like he wanted her to suffer, though she supposed that wasn't entirely true. Ever since her birthday, her feelings for him grew stronger by the day, but his had seemed to recede. He was kind to her, sure, but he never touched her unless he had to, outside of today, and definitely made no effort to kiss her again. He didn't come by the motor pool as much to say hello, and certainly didn't try talking to her about anything serious. She couldn't blame him. She'd had her chance to be kissed by him and she'd blown it. He'd probably gotten the hint and moved on, if he'd ever even liked her to begin with. She wasn't entirely sure he had. He could very well have just been caught up in the moment. It had been a romantic night, once she'd gotten the chance to analyze it.
But either way, whether he did or did not like her that way, she planned on doing nothing about it. She needed to keep these unwanted feelings subdued, because she was safest that way. She couldn't bear to get her heart broken, especially not now when she was finally feeling healed and somewhat at peace with their situation. It had been three months since they'd time-traveled here, and she couldn't afford to destabilize what she'd worked so hard to build.
Because if anyone had the power to break her heart, it was certainly James. He was very likely her favorite person on this whole damned island, and losing his friendship would crush her.
She watched his chest rise and fall as he laid on his back, a hat tipped across his face. He looked like an honest-to-God cowboy that way. And instead of imagining herself climbing on top of him, straddling him, and riding him like a mechanical bull, she squeezed her eyes shut and reminded herself that he was just her friend. Just her friend, and nothing else. Just her friend, and nothing else, no matter how much she might feel otherwise.
As she drifted off into a light sleep, lulled by the sounds of the crashing waves, she imagined a world where she was still a doctor or a researcher and he was a stranger. They'd meet under normal circumstances, perhaps at work somehow, and he'd ask her out for coffee. They'd have no baggage, no history, and no magical island keeping them trapped in space and time. In this world, they could build a relationship from the ground up, like normal people did.
In this fictional world away from her current reality, they might actually stand a chance.
—-
Three weeks after their beach day, Juliet found herself stood up at dinner by all three of her friends. She waited for them at their usual table for 20 minutes before giving up and wondering if they'd just chosen to eat at home instead. Normally they would tell her when one of them planned on cooking (almost never was that person James) but perhaps she'd missed the memo. But when she walked into their house without bothering to knock, she found that no one was home.
She thought about sitting on the couch and waiting for them to get home, but that seemed weird to her - invading their space when they weren't home. So, she closed the door firmly behind her and stepped back out onto the porch. Worriedly, she bit her lip and scanned the compound, almost convinced she'd see them walking her way, but she didn't see them. After a moment of scanning, her eyes landed on Amy who was sitting on a bench with Brad, talking animatedly. Without having a better plan, Juliet approached them.
"Juliet! Hi!" Brad exclaimed, and rocketed to his feet. He ran a hand through his hair nervously. Amy followed suit, if only to not be the only one sitting.
"Hey Brad, hey Amy. Um, have either of you by chance seen Jin, Miles, or James anywhere?" She tried to keep her voice light and nonchalant, less concentrated with the worry multiplying in her gut. She hadn't seen them since last night and it wasn't like them not to share with her if they were planning on going someplace. They were supposed to be off work over an hour ago; almost two at this point.
"No, I haven't, but Bradley and I were just about to go to dinner. Do you want to come?" Amy asked. Juliet's eyes flicked back to the compound, and Amy put her hand on Juliet's arm, redirecting her attention to her proposition. Something was wrong, but Juliet didn't know what.
"Yeah, I'm sure they're just not back yet," Brad assured her. Juliet leapt on it.
"Back? Back from where?"
Brad's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water; he hadn't expected her to be so direct. "From patrol," he recovered. "They went out on patrol today. Horace is with them." At this, Amy snapped to attention.
"Horace?"
"Yeah. The four of them went out. I'm sure they're fine."
Juliet saw Amy's face tense up with worry. It surprised her. "Come on Juliet, I'm sure Bradley's right. Let's go eat and I'm sure they'll be back before we're even done." She only sounded half-convinced, which did nothing to dissuade Juliet's nerves. The warning bells were still ringing, but she couldn't deny the rationality behind Brad's tone.
Maybe he had a point, Juliet considered. Perhaps they were still working; she too worked late sometimes. Perhaps that's all this was, and she was panicking over nothing. She knew the guys could take care of themselves. If they were with Horace, they were probably just fine.
After a moment, she nodded, agreeing to go to dinner with them. Together they walked to the cafeteria, and Juliet tried to shake off the feeling that was gnawing at her heart.
Thirty minutes later, she decided she'd had enough sitting around chit-chatting over things that didn't matter. Brad was hitting on her relentlessly, and all it did was piss her off. Sure, they'd tried getting her mind off of her friends, but something was still nagging her. Something still didn't feel right, and it wasn't just because they were out of routine. Politely, she bid them goodnight and tried to keep her pace neutral and unaffected as she made a beeline for the security office.
She hadn't been there in ages, but nothing had changed. She slipped inside and padded down the stairs, coming upon Phil observing the monitors. He jumped as she approached. She wasn't sure how he hadn't noticed her on the monitors. "Juliet! What are you doing here?" he exclaimed.
"Where are they?" she demanded, voice full of the eerie, Otherly calm James hated so much, but Phil only smiled smugly at her. He knew something she didn't and it made him feel important.
"Where are who?" he asked, pretending not to understand. He was being snarky, and it only inflamed Juliet further.
She licked her lips before taking a step towards him, getting into his personal space. "I want to know where my friends are, Phil. And I know that you know. So why don't we drop the pleasantries and you just tell me what I wanna know." Her tone was firm but sickly sweet, just on the verge of being threatening. She stood at her full height, and almost smiled as Phil shrank before her. He scowled, and Juliet wondered how the hell he'd ever managed to get himself on the security team in the first place.
It had been a long time since she'd acted so menacing - she'd almost forgotten how good it felt.
Suddenly, Horace's voice crackled over the walkie. "Come in Phil, we've got a code six here. I repeat, we have a code six. Over." Phil reached behind him to grab the walkie off the side table, eyes never leaving Juliet. She pointed a finger into his chest.
"Phil…" she warned. "What is a code six?"
Phil pressed a button on the walkie. "Phil here. Message received. What are my orders, sir? Over."
Juliet tried again. "PHIL. What is a code six?" She took another step closer to him, but he stepped back.
"Phil, it's Miles," Juliet heard Miles say. She felt her eyes flutter momentarily, just by hearing his voice. He sounded okay. "Get a doctor, or a medic or something. We're bringing Jim to the infirmary."
James. All the air whooshed out of Juliet's lungs and she snatched the walkie away from Phil. Her fingers were trembling. "Miles? It's Juliet," she said, urgent and fast. "What happened? Is James okay?"
Phil plucked the walkie from her fingers and stalked over to the other side of the room. "Horace? Are you there?" he tried. He didn't take orders from Miles.
"I'm here, Phil. Do as Miles says," Horace agreed, and Phil glared at Juliet as if all this were her fault. "Ken's probably left by now. Go get him and we will meet you at the infirmary. Over."
Juliet needed no other warning. She took off, taking the steps two at a time. She got to the infirmary but there was still no sign of James or the others. She paced at the front entrance, looking, for all intents and purposes, like a caged animal. She ran her hand through her hair in anxious anticipation, trying to remain calm. James had been hurt; who knew how badly? She suddenly felt guilt for not being there - hadn't she agreed to always have his back? He'd needed her and she hadn't been there. What the hell even happened!?
After ten minutes of trying to calm herself down, Phil and Ken arrived. Juliet was fuming. It took ten minutes for Phil to bring the doctor here. She knew firsthand how crucial time was in the case of serious injury. If James had been here, and Phil had taken his sweet time collecting the doctor? She was going to give him a piece of her mind when finally she heard the incoming jeep.
All three of them whirled around to see Horace driving the jeep straight up to the front doors of the infirmary. Miles and Jin jumped out, and the three men carried an unconscious James into the building. Juliet stood shocked, running her eyes along his body, mentally cataloging his injuries. He was bleeding from somewhere on his head, as his hair was matted and sticking to his forehead, and his left ankle was bent at an unusual angle. But otherwise, nothing else looked out of place. She saw no gunshot or stab wound, which was a welcomed relief.
Despite all her medical training, her heart began to pound and she felt tears prick the backs of her eyes. Shoving Phil aside, she marched into the infirmary behind the guys. She watched as they laid James on a bed, and immediately went to his side. Horace rushed back out of the room to speak with the doctor and Juliet went to work. She opened his eyes and checked his pupils before running her hands along his body, checking for other injuries. She pressed on his abdomen and felt his pulse. She found nothing that would indicate internal bleeding, and other than the obvious, he seemed okay. She just hoped he would wake up after they set his ankle. She didn't need an x-ray to know it was broken.
When Ken entered after being briefed by Horace, she moved her hands to hold onto James's right. Jin and Miles looked at her with troubled expressions. They knew she didn't want to be caught, and said nothing. She silently thanked them.
"Everyone, clear out please." Ken, a middle-aged balding man with a large belly, waved a hand toward Jin and Miles. "You his girlfriend?" he asked, his Boston accent thick and seemingly bored.
Juliet flinched. She knew the routine, even if this wasn't a typical ER. She was certain this guy was just following his instincts. "Is he going to be okay?" she asked, playing the part, though actively refusing to answer his question.
"Yeah, is he?" Miles asked, joining her at James's side.
"I gotta examine him but from what Horace said, it don't sound like the fall was all that bad."
"Fall!?" Juliet exclaimed, looking to Jin and Miles for answers.
"Tell you later," Jin murmured into her ear. "Come Miles. Leave them be. We go sign papers - report." Jin tugged Miles by his shirtsleeve and together they left the infirmary. Juliet watched in mild fascination as Ken did the same routine exam she'd performed. She hoped he would come to the same conclusions, and he did.
"He's gonna be fine," Ken said more conclusively and more confidently than Juliet felt. "Ya wanna be helpful, hold him down in case he wakes up. I gotta set his ankle and put him in a cast."
"Don't you need an x-ray first?" she asked cautiously, trying to play the part of worried girlfriend but also wondering how he planned on setting it without knowing how bad the break was and where.
"Nah. I used to be an orthopedist. I can just about tell. It's gonna hurt like hell though," Ken warned, and drew back some morphine through a needle. She watched as he cleaned James's arm and inserted the medication. "Just hold his shoulders in case he wakes up." Juliet wondered how any of this was legal. There should have been a nurse here, but there wasn't. She was fortunate she was even a medical professional once upon a time. She couldn't imagine this being asked of someone who didn't have that level of training. She decided then and there that she didn't care much for Ken.
"Okay, ya with me?" he asked, and she nodded. She laid her upper body across James, holding onto his shoulders. "Okay. One, two, three!" Ken called, and with one quick turn, James's ankle snapped back into place. James's eyes flew open and the scream he emitted was enough to shatter all the restraint Juliet had left. Despite her very best efforts, a few loose tears escaped down her cheeks.
"James! James, it's me!" she soothed, as she ran her hands along his chest and face. She had no business touching him this way, but she couldn't help it. He was whimpering and groaning as Ken started prepping him for his cast. It was the most vulnerable she'd ever seen him, and her heart broke seeing him in such pain.
"Juliet?" he heaved against gritted teeth and unfocused eyes. His hand searched for hers and gripped it tightly.
"Yeah, it's me. I'm here. I'm here, James. You had an accident. They brought you to the infirmary. It's going to be okay. You broke your ankle but you're getting a cast. Ken loaded you up with morphine so you should feel better soon." She looked over her shoulder at Ken for confirmation, but she found him staring at her through narrowed eyebrows. "I saw the label," she said with a shrug, and he continued working. She bit her lip, wondering if he'd seen through the lie. She didn't really care.
"I fell…" James mumbled weakly. "I really fell…" His eyes became heavy-lidded and he passed out once more. Juliet bit her lip and wiped her cheeks. She'd felt so scared before, and now that the adrenaline was wearing off, she only felt shakiness in its wake. She let James's limp hand fall back onto the bed and she took several steps back, evaluating the myriad of thoughts running wild in her mind.
She'd been completely terrified when she'd found out he'd been hurt, but yet it hadn't surprised her - she'd known something was wrong. But why had she reacted like that? Would she have felt the same if it had been Miles or Jin who'd been hurt? A small voice in the back of her head said no.
She excused herself, desperate to get fresh air. This crush was getting out of hand. She hadn't asked for any of this, and this was a perfect example of why. That terror had no place in her heart, and yet she'd given into it faster than she could blink. She threw her head back when she finally broke free of the infirmary doors, and ran her hands through her hair until the ends were tangled and frayed.
She needed something, anything to make this crush go away. She just wanted to be his friend. Or at least, that was certainly what was best for both of them. And perhaps it had been so long since she'd had a true friend, she'd forgotten what it felt like to care this deeply about another person. But she knew that was maybe only part of the equation. She just wasn't ready to face the other part.
Now that she felt more certain that James was going to be okay, she felt overcome with exhaustion. She gulped down air, desperately trying to understand what was wrong with her. She was just going to have to try harder. She needed to get over him, once and for all - harden her heart and will it away. She didn't know how to do that, but it needed to happen. For both of their sakes.
—-
An hour later, Juliet returned to the infirmary. It was late, but she wanted to check on him before going to bed. She'd spent the last hour sitting on the dock, moping and worrying and perseverating and seeing if she'd suddenly gained the mental skillset needed to will away her unwanted feelings (she hadn't). She felt bad, leaving James alone, but she needed time alone to think; though it had solved nothing and only added to the headache that had grown behind her eyes.
When she returned, she found James was awake, if barely, and talking quietly with Horace. Perhaps he hadn't woken up alone after all. "Hey you," James quipped as he watched her walk in. Horace turned around. He patted James on his good leg.
"Think about it, okay?" Horace said to James before turning to face Juliet. "Take good care of him, Juliet."
"I will," she promised, and Horace patted her on the shoulder before leaving them alone. Awkwardly, she focused her attention on James. "How are you feeling?" she wondered. He looked worse than she'd ever seen him, but he was awake, and that was a good sign.
He shrugged, though the effort looked more like a twitch. "Doin' okay I guess. Just woke up not too long ago. Thought you mighta been here. Guess I musta just dreamed it or somethin'." His voice sounded hoarse and raspy, and slightly slurred from the drugs.
Juliet felt her stomach constrict. She approached his bedside, and he patted the space next to his good leg. She sat down tentatively. "I was here when they brought you in. I left for a little while, hoping you'd get some rest."
"What, I can't rest with you here?" he teased in response, and though she knew he was kidding, it made her feel worse for leaving his side at all. Hadn't she just been beating herself up over not having his back?
She sighed and placed a hand on his knee. "Can you tell me what happened?"
James scratched his cheek while looking down at his brand new white cast. Juliet was pleased to see his head had been cleaned, and she could see a few stitches along his hairline on his left side. Other than that, he looked pale, but right as rain.
"It ain't important. I just fell is all," he said, and the line between his eyebrows deepened. His lie felt like a slap in the face. Juliet sank further into the mattress and leaned closer to him.
"Are you serious? That's really all you're going to say?" She shot him a glare, and watched him clench his jaw and lay his head back against the pillow.
"What? It's confidential, alright? And it ain't a big deal."
"James, I don't care one bit about 'confidential.' You scared the hell out of me. Now spill it," she commanded, practically seething. James saw her mask slip into place, and her icy glare pierced right through him. He was too high to lie, so he told her.
"Ya can't tell no one, but we had this guy over there on Hydra, see?" he started.
"Hydra?" she inhaled sharply. She hadn't realized he'd been over there.
"Yeah, ya know, that place ya don't know nothin' about. Now hush!" He cleared his throat and rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand before continuing. "We got this guy over there. In that freaky room I bet you also know nothin' about." She nodded and looked down into her lap. "Thought so. Anyway, don't know who the guy is - I was just supposed to transport him back, kay? Give 'im back to his people."
"He's a hostile?" Juliet confirmed. James nodded. "What did he do? What about the truce?"
"Dunno. Above my paygrade. Anyways, I go with Miles and Jin to pick the guy up but he's gone. We spent all day searchin' for him all over that damn, stupid island. But then - then we find him, me and Miles. But he got a hold of Miles's gun and was gonna shoot him. I dunno what happened but then I think I rammed the guy? It's all kinda fast and blurry in my head. But I guess I tackled the fucker and we fell. Maybe off a little cliff."
Juliet gripped James's hand hard in hers. She was furious he'd been so reckless, but pleasantly surprised he'd cared enough about Miles to put himself in harm's way on his behalf. "You saved Miles's life?" she finally gasped, trying not to say the wrong thing. She didn't want to admonish him.
"It wasn't nothin' like that. I ain't no hero. But I guess I took most of the fall cuz the guy ain't hurt at all, Horace says. Prolly for the best, seein' as we gotta return him unharmed. They had to put him back in the room another day though. Guess some other sucker's gonna have to bring him back tomorrow. Doc says I'm stuck here another day or so." James shifted uncomfortably and it was enough movement for Juliet to let go of his hand.
He hated seeing the pride and pity in her face. He didn't deserve it. He looked away, hoping she'd drop it. But she continued. "What did Horace say? When he left, he asked you to think about it. Think about what?"
James sighed and closed his eyes. His whole body hurt and he shifted uncomfortably. Juliet tried to stand to give him space, but he clamped a hand on her thigh. "It don't matter what he said. He's just bein' nice is all."
"James…" Juliet placed a hand on his shoulder, and he opened his eyes to look into her face. "I'm your friend. Tell me." Friend. The word almost felt worse than his ankle did.
James inhaled deeply and decided to just tell the truth. He really didn't have the energy to lie. Even now, with her sitting so close to him and his hand on her leg, he thought he could fall asleep at any moment.
"H said I had 'leadership potential.' Whatever the hell that means. Says he wants Kevin to train me, since he and his wife are leavin' when the baby's born next year." Juliet tried to put a face to the name, but she couldn't. She'd only met the current head of security once before, back when they first arrived.
"Oh James, that's wonderful! Why don't you sound more excited?" Juliet could see his eyes growing heavy the more he talked.
"I ain't nothin' to be proud of," he admitted quietly, and his eyes drifted closed. "Just cuz I was quick thinkin' don't mean nothin'. Just cuz I helped Miles or whatever don't mean nothin', neither." Juliet could hardly understand him now, his sleepiness was making his accent thicker and lower than usual. "Horace don't know what he's talkin' 'bout. I ain't a leader…" he finally mumbled, before his lips parted and head fell slightly to one side.
The statement broke Juliet's heart, for a variety of reasons. For one thing, the fact that this man, who usually had more swagger than he knew what to do with, was feeling so insecure - it was more than she could take. James was their leader, and he'd done a fine job of it so far. Sure, he'd hit some snags in the beginning, but he was the glue that kept their group together and she wished he saw that. Also, it only served as a reminder that she and him would never work out. They were both too broken, and her baggage was already more than she could carry. She didn't know if she could carry his, too; and it wasn't fair to ask him to help carry hers.
The thought made her feel sick. James had grown into a wonderful man the last few months, and the truth of the matter was that she just didn't deserve him.
She sat there with him for twenty minutes, waiting to see if he'd wake up. But he didn't. He snored softly, and after a while her eyelids grew heavy, too. She sniffled while she stood and draped his blanket delicately over his body. He didn't stir, even as she placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He smelled like him: like rain, and the forest, and something inherently manly. She breathed him in, storing away the memory of his scent for a day when she might need it.
Seeing a notepad and pen on the countertop, Juliet impulsively decided to write James a note. She didn't want him to wake up alone, but she couldn't stay any longer. She debated about what to say, but after a while decided on one line: I'm proud of you, and I'm really glad you're okay. –J
She folded the note and left it on the bedside table. As she turned off the lights and left James behind, she thanked God and any other deity who was listening that he wasn't taken away from her today. Because she didn't know what she would do without him.
—-
Miles, Jin, and Juliet took turns taking care of James while he remained in the infirmary the next day and a half. They brought him food, helped keep him entertained, and made sure he didn't try and leave like he kept threatening to do. He was going to be in a cast for a few weeks, but the doctor wanted to make sure he didn't have any lingering effects from his head wound.
When he got the all-clear, Jin watched over him as he used his crutches to hobble home. He was clumsy with them and they felt too short, but he managed not to fall. He'd really hoped Juliet would have been the one to be there when he left, but she was working. When he'd asked her to be his nurse the day before, she'd merely rolled her eyes and threatened to draw hearts and stars all over his cast like he was a damn middle school girl. He'd shut up, but still threw lingering, suggestive grins her way whenever she performed her own exams on him, clearly not trusting Ken's judgment.
When she'd made a comment about him not having a great track record with his feet, he'd merely smiled and told her it was because he was so much better laying down. Ignoring his head wound, she'd gotten up to get a pillow from a nearby bed and smacked him in the chest with it. It had been worth it, if only to see a bright red flush creep into her cheeks.
As the weeks passed on, he began needing less and less help from his friends. He got pretty used to the crutches, though it did mean he was put on semi-permanent desk duty until he was cleared to walk again. Even then, he couldn't leave the sonic fence until he could pass the same stupid fitness test he'd had to do before being a full-fledged member of the security team three months ago. It made sense, but he didn't like it all the same.
If anything, this experience had been enlightening. Horace saw him as a contender for head of security, which meant he was going to start being given more rigorous assignments to see if he was up to the task. His friends had certainly pulled through for him, and it hurt James's chest to even think about how much they'd done for him as of late. He still didn't feel deserving, but they made up for it by giving him shit in other ways. Phil, of all people, had come to worship the ground James walked on once he heard the full story of what had happened on Hydra Island; how James had not only saved Miles's life, but he'd put his own safety at risk for the good of the mission, and thereby the D.I. as a whole. It made James uncomfortable, how Phil was now treating him with naive reverence, but it worked out when James needed something in a pinch.
And then there was Juliet. They hadn't spoken of what had happened right after his accident; how he'd seen her crying in his pain-fueled haze. How she'd double checked Ken's work and made sure James was comfortable at all times. How she'd written him that note, that he still carried around in his pocket even three weeks later.
She'd been proud of him. And she'd meant it. He didn't feel deserving of it, but she'd felt it all the same. That note meant everything to him, and it certainly beat the one he'd carried for the majority of his life.
So now, at his insistence, he was finally getting out of the security office to do something other than stare at the damn monitors, bored out of his skull. He was still on crutches, but could put some weight on his ankle if he needed to. The island's healing properties really knew no bounds.
It was a domestic disturbance, called in by someone James didn't know. Apparently some guy was being belligerent down in the rec room, and James bullied Phil into letting him take it. When he arrived, he found one of the Dharma Work Men gesticulating wildly, shouting at what James assumed to be his kid. When he got close, the man whirled around and James felt his heart constrict.
Roger. Work Man.
Holy fucking son of a bitch, James inhaled sharply. He'd seen this man's bones. He'd drank this man's beer. James's stomach soured, thinking he was pretty sure he'd held this guy's skull in his hands at one point. It was revolting to remember, even more so with the man in question standing right before him.
"Alright, Roger, party's over. I know we ain't officially met yet, but the name's LaFleur and I'm gonna have to take ya down to security. You're gonna have some time to sober up and think about the scene you're makin' here," James said, trying to keep his patience.
"LeFleur? What kinda name's that? Thought your name was Jim," Roger slurred, and grabbed his kid by his collar. The kid winced, and tried to pull away, but Roger only held on more tightly.
"Friends call me Jim, and you ain't my friend, buddy boy. Now let go 'a the kid and start walkin'."
Roger laughed. "You can't tell me what to do with my own kid. Ben and I were just leaving, weren't we, Ben?"
Something clenched inside James's chest and his breath got caught in his throat. His hands began to sweat as they gripped the handles of his crutches. Certainly, this couldn't be - could it? Lots of people were named Ben, it was a pretty common name. But… what if…?
"You're Ben?" James asked tentatively, not sure he wanted to hear the answer. He searched the boy's face for anything that looked familiar. His blue eyes and narrow chin were the only similarity. Otherwise, he just looked like a frightened little kid to James. There was nothing scary or intimidating or cold-blooded about this Ben at all.
But just as James feared, the boy spoke up. His voice was high-pitched and timid, but plain as day. "Yeah… this is my dad, Roger Linus… but we were just leaving Mr. LaFleur," he said, sounding ashamed. If James hadn't been so stunned, he might have actually felt sorry for him. He looked like a kicked puppy.
But he only felt rage instead. He said nothing as Ben carefully led Roger out into the bright afternoon and back to what James assumed was their house. Roger sneered at James as they left, but James only returned the glare. He thought back, wondering how he could have missed this. He'd certainly seen the pair before, like at the Fourth of July bonfire, but he'd never interacted with them until now.
It was super fucking freaky.
As he hobbled back to the security station, James couldn't help but think about Juliet. How the hell was he going to tell her? That kid - man - was responsible for keeping her hostage here, branding her, and hell - he was the reason they were stuck here in the 70s in the first place. This was going to ruin her.
And so James decided. He just wasn't going to tell her. She didn't need to know. She was finally doing so much better… he couldn't break her spirit like that. That's what a good friend would do, wasn't it?
He just needed to make sure she never found out. There was no reason she would - it wasn't like they wore their last names on their jumpsuits. Just another con. James could do that. It was all in her best interest, he tried telling himself, even as the guilt gnawed away at him. After all, Ben was just a scrawny little kid. He couldn't do anyone any harm.
Just another lie. He could do this.
It was all going to be just fine.
