A/N: So like I said, I totally recognize some of the lines in the last chapter were cheesy, but this is fanfic isn't it? :P And I reeeeally wanted it to feel romantic. 3 Plus, I'd been dragging you guys along for so long, I really wanted something big and climactic at the end, though I went back and forth about how to do that exactly. In response to one of the comments saying Juliet might have opened up a bit too much, I totally agree! However, (from experience) when one tends to be stressed and feel cornered, sometimes words just explode out of you without much thinking, so that is what I was trying to emulate - that kind of desperation to be understood by him. But hopefully everything else seems to fall in-character, but if not, please give examples and I'll work on it ;) I try to stay as in-character as possible while still putting my own twist on things.

(Also side note, this chapter gets pretty M-rated and extra fluffy but I'm sure that was to be expected). The next few chapters will be fluffy, actually, though I promise there IS a plot to this whole thing.

And without further ado, I hope you enjoy!

—-

You say my name like I have never heard before

I'm indecisive but this time I know for sure

I hope I'm not the only one that feels it all…

Am I falling in love

With the one that could break my heart?

Dua Lipa, Break My Heart

—-

Chapter 13: Hearts and Minds

Dusk had fallen by the time Miles and James trudged back into the barracks, painting the sky in dark hues of blue and purple, with a sliver of orange over the horizon. They were covered in mud and soaking wet, both aggravated at having to work through a much longer shift than they'd expected to. Jin, the lucky bastard, had been sent back earlier to check that the electricity was running again, and was in all likelihood home by now (much to Miles's annoyance). As soon as they'd gotten the all-clear from him though, everyone else was allowed to return too.

"Him and Juliet are probably warm and cozy, eating dinner already. Ugh… they better have left us some…" Miles grumbled, and looked over to James for assurance, given their shared predicament of the utmost suffering, in Miles's mind.

James's feet hurt, and he was sticky, sore, cold, and uncomfortable, but even through the physical misery, a smile still crept onto his lips at the mention of Juliet waiting for him back home. "I'm sure they did," he agreed, with no trace of his typical ire or irritation in a time like this.

"The hell you smiling for?" Miles accused, narrowing his eyes at James.

"Just happy to be home, Genghis. Now shut your yap and pick up the pace. I'm hungry," he retorted, satisfied when Miles returned to grumbling to himself incoherently.

When they arrived, Jin and Juliet were indeed sitting at the table eating some kind of pasta dish with vegetables. The house was warm and smelled like garlic, making James's mouth water the moment he stepped across the threshold.

Both Jin and Juliet snapped to attention as the door swung open and Miles kicked off his boots, grunting with the effort. Juliet stood as soon as she saw James enter, finally realizing that both men were filthy and wet.

"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly, instinctively checking them over for blood or any other sign of injury.

"We're fine. Just - need showers is all," James responded quietly, suddenly sapped of his ability to think upon seeing her. Even in simple jeans and a pale blue t-shirt, she looked stunning, especially with the way the yellowish overhead light made her blonde hair seem to sparkle. Miles looked back and forth between them, eyebrow arched and arms crossed in suspicion.

"I'm glad," she said, and sat back down into her seat, suddenly embarrassed by her overreaction to their entrance.

"Mind if I go use your shower?" James asked her, trying desperately not to smile. "I'm assuming Posh Spice over here's gonna take too long and use all the hot water."

Juliet snickered. She opened her mouth, surprisingly close to asking him if he wanted company, but she remembered her audience and swallowed the flirtatious tease. "Sure. Of course," she agreed instead, putting as much emphasis as she could on sounding neutral and uninvested in the fact that he was going to be naked in her house. They hadn't talked about what they would tell Miles and Jin, and she didn't want to say something untoward without his permission.

Miles, however, saw the suppressed smiles on both of their faces, and the weird way in which they were staring at each other, and the lightbulb clicked on in his head. He applauded himself for being so observant, given the long day he'd had. "So - you finally slept together, huh?" he said to Juliet with a devilish grin and a nod.

Juliet's eyes widened as she looked at James accusingly. "You told him?" she gasped. But Miles only laughed, especially as James held up his hands in surrender, stunned by her uncharacteristic gullibility.

"NO, but you just did!" Miles cackled, and shook his head in amusement. She'd fallen for the oldest trick in the book. She must be really off her game. "It's your own fault for not hiding it better. You always flirt, but this?" he said, gesturing between them. "This is weird as shit."

"Son of a bitch," James muttered under his breath, and let his head hang back, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

Juliet pursed her lips, overcome with aggravation at being tricked. "What the hell, Miles!"

Jin, who was carefully slurping his noodles, merely watched the exchange in mild fascination. "Why don't you look more surprised? Did you know already?" Miles scoffed accusingly. He hated being the last to know things.

But Jin only nodded, taking Juliet and James both by surprise. "I did," he said simply, and continued to eat, nonplussed.

"You told him?" James crowed, jaw dropping. But Juliet looked just as shocked as he felt.

"She didn't," Jin calmly assured him, and took a small sip of his water. "She just looked very… relaxed." His wicked smile and twinkling eyes made Juliet's face flame. He had suspected something had happened, as she'd been uncharacteristically giddy all evening, always watching the door. When James and Miles had arrived and he'd seen their body language change, it had only confirmed what he believed to be true.

"Well, well, well…" Miles strutted over to James and slapped him hard on the back. "It's about damn time, if you ask me. The last few months have been absolutely miserable watching you two moon over each other like idiots. Seriously - like a slow moving car wreck." He stripped off his jumpsuit and dropped it by the front door. Juliet averted her eyes from the fact that Miles stood in just his boxers and a white t-shirt. She knew he felt like they were family, he'd said it a time or two before, but she was still trying to eat.

"Go shower, ya lunkhead," James mumbled, and pushed against Miles's shoulder. "But thanks. I guess."

Miles gave a mock salute before heading toward the bathroom. Juliet didn't know what to do. She wanted to hug James, but not in front of Jin, who was very much still eyeing the two of them curiously. She laughed nervously, and Jin placed a warm hand on her shoulder. "Congratulations," he said, and moved to clean up his empty plate.

James, who was still standing by the door, pursed his lips in a shy grin, his dimples on full and glorious display. "I'm gonna go shower," he announced, and jerked his thumb towards the door. Juliet nodded, and tried to give him a smile in return.

When he was gone, she finished her last couple of bites and returned her plate to the sink where Jin was washing up. "I'm going to make James a plate and bring it to him," she informed him, but Jin only laughed and nodded before winking at her. She rolled her eyes at the suggestion, almost wishing they'd have been able to keep it a secret from their friends for a little while longer. Would that have been so bad?

By the time Juliet piled some pasta into a tupperware dish and brought it back to her house, she was just in time to hear the shower turning off. She sat the bowl on the table and swallowed thickly, feeling dizzy knowing that James was currently naked in her bathroom. She poured him a glass of water and sat it next to his bowl, along with a fork and a napkin. It felt very formal and housewife-y of her, and she couldn't deny how awkward and weird she now felt doing something simple like this - something she'd done dozens of times for him. He'd done it for her too, but it hadn't meant anything then. Did it mean anything now? Why did she always have to overthink everything? Her heart and her mind were vastly different indeed.

She heard him shuffling around, and suddenly she felt a slight panic in her chest. She kind of wanted to talk about what happened earlier that day, but she also didn't. She hadn't meant to spill so much of her deep, dark thoughts to him, especially in the form of accusatory shouts, but she'd felt overwhelmed and cornered and the words just came spewing out like vomit. Now, she was cool, calm, and collected (for the most part), and didn't know what he expected from her at this point. Though, she certainly felt like she'd bared enough of herself for one day.

When he came out of the bathroom, he was wearing grey sweatpants and a black sweatshirt. His hair was slicked back, and he looked far more relaxed than he had only moments before at his house.

"Feel better?" she asked, and sat across from where she'd placed his dinner.

"Loads," he agreed, and sat down in the chair. "Looks good. You cook?" Juliet nodded. He twirled the pasta around his fork and took a big bite. He moaned, and she saw his eyes roll back into his head. "It's good. Thanks," he murmured as he tucked into another big bite.

"Hungry, I presume?" she teased, and nudged his foot lightly under the table. It made her feel better that he wasn't acting as awkward as she felt. He was the same man he was yesterday, before they'd slept together and changed everything (again).

"Hell yeah. Phil's an idiot, sure, but Radzinky's a tool. He didn't need all 'a us out there, he just wanted us all to suffer," he grumbled, and took a large swig of water. "Plus, I seemed to have worked up quite an appetite earlier with some broad at the North Valley," he teased back with the hint of a smirk on his face. She quirked an eyebrow at him in response, interested to hear what he had to say.

"That so?" she breathed.

"Mmmhmm. Hot little thing, I gotta say. Big, beautiful eyes, great rack," he commented, and made a lewd gesture, cupping his hands at his chest. She kicked him harder. "Ow! Okay, okay, the lady doesn't like compliments, fine," he laughed, and wiped his mouth on his napkin.

"It's funny you mention that though, because I too got very, very laid at the North Valley this afternoon."

"Ya don't say?"

"Mmhmm…" she took a small sip from his water, face completely blank except for the gleam in her eye she couldn't control.

"What a crazy coincidence, Blondie," he purred.

She smiled hard, overcome by the warmth in her belly as she looked at him. "Ehh, it was just okay," she sighed, shaking her head. "He was kinda - " she trailed off, pinching her pointer finger and thumb together, about an inch apart.

"Whoaa, hey now!" he howled, and kicked her foot under the table. They both laughed, and he puffed his shoulders indignantly, shaking his head in total disbelief that she'd even made that joke.

Juliet's face hurt from smiling. Same old playful James. Perhaps this was all going to be okay after all. As good as it felt to get that out of their systems, and as certain as she was that she intended to fully pursue him and see this through, she'd still half-wondered if perhaps they'd made a mistake. But it seems her inner demons were trying to lure her away from happiness, yet again, because she was absolutely certain that being with James would make her happy. It already did, and they'd only just begun.

She was falling hard for him; harder than she ever thought possible. It was beyond terrifying.

"So, I found out somethin' earlier," James informed her with a grimace. He looked annoyed and regretful, and the sudden change in atmosphere made her stomach twist.

"And what would that be?"

"I'm bein' sent to Hydra tomorrow," he said mournfully. She frowned. They both hated Hydra island.

"What on earth for?"

He took another swig of water, food already almost gone. "Dunno. Some kinda trainin' thing for the head of security gig. I don't know why they even bother with all this shit - it ain't like the job's guaranteed to be mine. They got two other contenders who I'm assumin' already did this. Why not just give it to them?"

Juliet tilted her head, seeing through his masquerade of apathy. "Because, James. They might want to give it to you, too. Horace sees your potential."

James grunted, and finished off the last bite. "Then he's a bigger idiot than I give him credit for."

She sighed, ignoring the jab he was taking at himself. There was no point arguing with him about it; she knew it would all be in vain. "So, how long will you be gone?" she inquired, and took his plate to the sink. He rubbed a hand over his face before nodding his thanks. He looked exhausted.

"Hell if I know. But I was told to pack a bag." She leaned her lower back against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest, frowning. That couldn't be a good sign at all.

"Of course. Makes sense, really. We finally cross that line and they send you away," she huffed out a sardonic laugh.

James, who was already grimacing, seemed to appear even sadder at her remark. He stood, approaching her slowly. She uncrossed her arms, her eyes never leaving his. They were both incredibly disappointed; they knew that much. "I know. But it ain't my fault," he murmured.

"I know," she replied sullenly, and opened her arms. He wrapped his strong arms around her shoulders, and she stroked his back, tucking her cheek against his shoulder. He held her for several moments, clinging tightly. It felt wonderful just to hold her like this; as intimate and as sacred as what they'd done earlier that day. James decided these quiet moments were likely his favorite; when it was just the two of them sharing a closeness so gentle, it felt like they were the only two people left in the world. He'd never really had that kind of genuineness with anyone before, and it felt like a gift. It surprised him, how much he treasured when she simply held him, just because she could, and because she truly wanted to.

Juliet closed her eyes, savoring the warmth of his body pressed against hers. It felt intoxicating, having him all around her like this, invading her senses. And then she thought, if this was their last night together for a while, they might as well make it count.

She lowered her hands, slowly trailing them down to his hips. She dipped her thumbs beneath the waistband of his sweatpants, and rubbed them along his hip bones in slow circles. James inhaled sharply, and laced his fingers through her hair. He tugged her head back softly, so he could look into her eyes. He could feel himself growing hard just by the stunning blue depths staring up at him, piercing his soul. She licked her lips in anticipation and he needed no further invitation.

He pressed his lips against hers, intending on keeping it gentle. But once his skin touched hers, his brain switched off and suddenly he was too hungry to hold himself back. He gripped her hair hard as his lips assailed hers, and she clung just as desperately to his skin. When her hands cupped his ass, he became undone, and shoved her roughly against the countertops. She sucked in a sharp breath, and dragged her nails down his back before trying to pull his sweatshirt over his head. He broke contact only long enough for her to peel it off him and toss it on the floor.

"Waitwaitwait," she gasped, and sucked in rapid breaths. "I want to make this last," she whispered as he kissed her neck, rolling his tongue along the curve.

He swallowed and pulled back, eyes heavy-lidded and hands shaking. Perhaps she was right. God only knew when he'd be back; this needed to tide him over until then. So, he nodded his agreement, and took her hand in his, leading her back into her bedroom.

It was different than he'd expected somehow. She had a full bed in the center of the room, with a downy white bedspread. There were paintings on the walls that were too abstract to make any sense to James, but seemed apt for Juliet to have. She had two nightstands on either side of the bed, and a dresser in the far corner. The room was simple, clean, and smelled like her. It was enough to make goosebumps arise on his skin as he entered her space, and his heart pounded erratically in his chest.

James pulled off his t-shirt and turned to face Juliet. She was eyeing him appreciatively, smirking as she ran her hands along his now-bare chest. She only stopped to pull her own t-shirt over her head, revealing the lacy bra below. James smiled coyly, cupping them in his hands. She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch, and he bent his head to kiss her once more, unable to wait a moment longer.

So feather-light it almost tickled, James moved his rough, warm hands across her ribcage. He reached behind her and unclasped her bra, and she let it drop to the floor. She pressed her bare chest against his, and she could almost swear she could feel his heartbeat through his skin. The sensation was sensual and wild, and she pressed herself as close to him as she could get, weaving her fingers through his hair and caressing his tongue with hers.

Deftly, his fingers unbuttoned her jeans and she shimmied out of them, kicking them to the side. He guided her to the edge of the bed and she sat down, placing gentle kisses down his stomach as he stood before her. She slowly pulled down his sweatpants, and grinned at his excitement evident beneath the fabric.

It surprised her though, when he ran his hands through her hair once more, tilting her head back up so she could look at him. He bent down, kissing her forehead, her cheeks, the tip of her nose - everywhere but her mouth. The gentle, loving way in which he touched her was almost too much to bear. It felt almost too intimate, the way he held her, like she was capable of breaking in his hands, and she felt a chill run down her spine at the exposure. Her eyes began to burn, but she willed it away before he could notice.

Needing to distract herself from feeling like her soul was being held in his hands, she lowered his boxers and clenched his backside, dragging her fingernails down the backs of his thighs. He groaned, and raised back up to his full height. "Juliet…" he whispered, and it sent a different kind of chill through her. When she took him into her mouth, the shudder almost sent him toppling into her.

For several long moments, she moved her mouth on him. He trembled beneath her, one hand still fisted in her hair and the other gripping her shoulder, and Juliet felt a rush from the power she was exerting. She had full control here, and he knew it.

Just when he thought he might burst, he pulled away, panting and glassy-eyed, and he pushed her roughly back onto the bed. She crawled backwards to the headboard and grinned as he got on his knees before her. He placed soft kisses all the way from her calves up to the insides of her knees, to the insides of her thighs, taking his time and relishing the way her legs shook. Now it was his turn to hold the power, and she couldn't wait to see what he did with it.

He lowered her underwear agonizingly slowly, tossing it to the side once it was free of her legs. Never breaking eye contact, he slowly dipped his head lower until his lips began to kiss her most sensitive areas. Juliet whined, knowing he was teasing her but unable to ask for what she wanted. His stubble scraped her skin, heightening the sensation, making it hard to think. She was dizzy with need, and he knew it.

When his tongue dipped inside her, the moan that escaped her didn't even sound like herself. It was like she was being reborn - the more his tongue roamed, hitting exactly where she needed it to, the more she rose like a phoenix from the bed. He knew exactly what he was doing, and she knew that he knew that.

It didn't take long for her muscles to spasm, and pure fire to ignite under her skin. She cried out his name, and he latched on even harder, riding out her waves with her. She almost didn't notice that he pulled away, and she could taste herself on his tongue as it dove into her mouth. He was inside her before she could even draw in a breath, and a low moan forced itself out of her body, swallowed by his own.

For a long while, they took their time. At first, he moved inside of her with grace and patience, but by the end, he was slamming into her with the desperation he'd felt that first time all those months ago. Before he could finish though, Juliet rolled him on his back and climbed on top, sinking down until he filled her to the brim. She rode him hard, until she was seeing stars and they were both covered with sweat.

He loved when she cried out his name - his true name, even though he hated it. He'd never had anyone call him that in bed before, but the way it sounded coming from her made it sound like a prayer. It was all he could think about as she clenched around him, face scrunched up in whimpering ecstasy, and he lost all shred of control. He gripped her waist tightly as he came, and held her close, even after the shuddering subsided. They laid there, Juliet panting with her cheek on his shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly across her back.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he breathed, gulping down air as his heart hammered in his chest. She placed her hand just above it and could feel it beating wildly.

Juliet giggled, and slid off him, lying on her back and trying desperately to regain her wits. "I can't tell you the last time that happened, if ever," she said, in complete and total awe.

"What? Sex with a handsome fella? That'd be like seven hours ago, sweetheart."

She laughed. "No, not that. Or well, not exactly that. Having four orgasms in one day? I think that's a personal record."

He chuckled, grinning stupidly, and pulled her back into him so she could rest her cheek against his chest. "Happy to oblige, ma'am," he drawled, and kissed the top of her head. "Should last ya til I get back, at least."

The satisfied grin faded from Juliet's face. She'd almost forgotten. "Oh. Right."

He gently tilted her chin so that she was looking up at him. "Hey. It'll be alright. I'll be back before ya know it."

"I know. I'll just miss you, is all."

James's heart constricted. He didn't know what he'd done to deserve her, but he knew without a doubt that she wasn't lying or exaggerating to inflate his ego. The pain was written all over her face. "I'll miss you too, sunshine." She nestled back into his chest, tucking her knee between his. They laid together in comfortable, warm silence for a long while. James felt himself drifting off to sleep, but startled himself out of it. He still had so much to do before leaving tomorrow.

Juliet was breathing slowly and evenly, but he needed to move her if he was ever going to disentangle himself. As expected, as soon as he did, her eyes flew open, confused and sleepy. "Where are you going?" she mumbled, and reached for his hand. It broke his heart worse than he'd expected; he didn't want to leave her. Hell, he'd give his left leg to be able to just stay here with her like this forever. (Since when did thoughts like that not freak him the fuck out? But that was going to have to be a problem for another day, he thought). James had a job to do, and his insistence on showing up and doing well was still something that shocked him to his core.

"I gotta pack, sweetheart. And I gotta be up to meet the guys at 5; I don't wanna keep you up." He swallowed and kissed her forehead apologetically.

She nodded her understanding and sat up, watching him as he got dressed. When he was done, he smoothed back her bedhead and kissed her firmly on the lips. "I'll be seein' you," he murmured against her skin, and left before he lost his nerve.

Juliet sighed and rose to use the bathroom and brush her teeth. Despite him leaving, she felt wildly content. It surprised her, actually, how at peace her heart finally was, after all this time. Though Juliet didn't necessarily trust this contentment, she couldn't deny its existence. For once, she seemed to have gotten exactly what it was she wanted, despite all her best efforts to self-sabotage. She was no longer stuck, teetering on the edge of indecision, and it felt so good to finally go after what she'd been dreaming about for so long.

Unable to fight it much longer, Juliet finally flopped back down into the bed, snuggling into the spot his body had just occupied. It smelled like him, and she drifted off, replaying the way her name had sounded in his mouth: warm and intense, dripping with pure southern honey.

She could get used to that.

—-

When James got home, he found Jin making sandwiches in the kitchen, wrapping them in tin foil and placing them into a small cooler. James tried to wave politely without drawing too much attention to himself, but Jin's low snicker stopped him in his tracks.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Go ahead, Bruce Lee. Get it outta your system."

Jin shrugged one shoulder, grinning wickedly to himself. "Nothing to say," he commented, and continued packing his lunch.

"Then why the judgey-ness, huh? Ya tryin' to get me to say it out loud?" James put his hands on his hips and narrowed his eyes. "Cuz I ain't gonna. I don't kiss and tell."

But Jin merely smiled. "No, James. What you and Juliet do - that is your business. I am happy for you both," he said carefully, accentuating his words. "But I feel I must say…" Jin added after a moment's pause. He lifted the knife he was using to cut his sandwich and pointed it lazily at James. "Juliet is my friend. She is good, kind person inside. You hurt her, and we will have problem." He flashed James a quick, controlled smile before going back to his task. James gulped. He'd talked to Miles a few months back about what Jin used to do. Though he was probably bluffing, it certainly gave him pause all the same.

"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. But I ain't gonna hurt her, okay? So just keep the threats to yourself, will ya?" He shook his head and walked down to his bedroom. "Sheesh…"

Jin chuckled to himself, though now that James was gone, he finally allowed the aggrieved frown to return to his face. As happy as he was for them, it was certainly the last thing he needed: one more reminder of what he no longer had, and would likely never have again.

—-

The next morning, way too fucking early for anyone to be awake, James ambled unhappily (and in all honesty, still half-asleep) across the threshold of his house onto the porch. His eyes burned and his head hurt, as he'd spent half the night tossing and turning, wishing he'd never left Juliet's side. It made him feel grimy to fuck and run (yet another startling change - and that one really surprised him). He'd laid in bed, clinging to her scent that still lingered on his skin, trying in vain to stop his thoughts from turning him inside out.

He didn't know what was worse: being sent away from her, or being so attached to her in the first place. Deep down, Sawyer rioted at how soft James had grown to be.

Even now, he was still so wrapped up in a myriad of emotions (number one being anger at even being in this fucking situation to begin with) that he almost missed the small figure sitting on a bench, silouetted by the peak of the sunrise in the distance. She rose, seeing him approach, and the movement caught his eye. His heart stopped and a wild smile broke open on his face, his anxiety floating away like dandelion seeds on a light breeze.

"Jules? What the hell you doin' out here?" he asked her, astonished, but pleased. She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck in a warm hug. He chuckled when he saw that she was wearing his black sweatshirt from the night before. Typical.

"I wanted to see you off. Anddd - " she sing-songed, pulling back in order to reach for something on the bench. It was a book. "I wanted to give you this. Just in case you have any downtime, you can think of me." She shrugged, almost self-consciously. "I know you haven't read it yet and I think you'll like it."

James turned the book over in his hand, completely flabbergasted by the thoughtfulness of all of this. He tucked her copy of Carrie into his bag and pulled her in for another tight embrace. "Thank you," he murmured against the top of her head, and squeezed her tighter.

He felt her muffled laugh against his chest. Though the gesture was sweet and heartwarming (and completely undeserved, in his own self-loathing opinion), he almost wished she hadn't come. He'd already had a hard enough time saying goodbye to her last night. But now he had to do it all over again. She'd done something just for him, just to make him smile and give him some piece of her to take with him, and it was almost too much for him to take. He wasn't used to this unselfish, pleasing nature of someone doing something kind for him without asking for anything in return. It didn't sit well with him, or at least, the old parts of him buried down beneath the charade of Jim LaFleur.

James leaned back so he could cup her cheeks and peer down into her face. They were surrounded by early morning fog and the only sounds were the chirping of crickets in the distance. Even with dark smudges under her eyes and her hair frizzy from the humidity, he was certain he'd never laid eyes on anything more beautiful.

He kissed her gently, running his thumbs along her cheekbones and pushing down as much of his sadness as he could. When he pulled away, she opened her eyes slowly, blinking up at him in a daze. "Thanks for the book. I'll be sure to read it when I can," he said, and kissed her forehead one last time before forcing himself to walk away. She gave a small wave and he set his sights on the security office, eyes burning from something else entirely now.

—-

Juliet tried sticking to her routine while James was gone. She ate dinner with Miles and Jin, trying in vain to ignore the empty seat where he would have been. Even the guys seemed less playful without him, sticking mainly to talking about work versus pop culture or island gossip.

She read every evening, curled up in bed and trying (in vain) to grasp hints of his scent that still lingered on her bedsheets. She hated this obsessive stage of a new relationship (or whatever this was). She felt so unlike herself, it made her ill. She always tried so hard to remain in control of herself at all times but any thoughts of James sent her into a tailspin of worry and longing. One night, four days into James's absence, when she was feeling particularly lonely, she settled in to pleasure herself - pretending with all her heart that he was there with her. But it did nothing to ease the ache of his absence.

On day six, Juliet felt angry. She could barely focus on anything Amy was saying because she wanted to ask for an update her friend may or may not even have. Inevitably, not wanting to give away the depth of her annoyance, she decided to remain silent. Instead, she asked Miles and Jin later that day, who sadly had nothing further to report. As far as they knew, he was still there on some top secret mission that they weren't privy to, but that he should be coming home soon.

As it turned out, they'd been right. On day seven, worn and exhausted and sore and completely fed the fuck up, James and Kevin returned to the barracks long after the sun went down. James was filthy, and earned several jeers of disgust as he walked into his house and dropped his duffel on the floor in the entryway. Without preamble, he dragged himself down the hall to the shower and peeled off his clothes, dropping them into the corner. He showered for almost a half an hour, washing his hair twice and scrubbing every nook and cranny of his body. He brushed his teeth, added on a dab of cologne, and debated shaving before deciding against it.

He dressed quickly, suddenly anxious to see Juliet, though it was late. He looked out the window and saw her light was on in the distance. Suddenly he remembered his daydream not that long ago, before they'd crossed the line into whatever this was between them. He wondered if it would be awkward if he just showed up unannounced, or if for some reason she'd changed her mind about them in the time he'd been gone. But she'd woken up long before she needed to, just to see him for less than two minutes. Surely that had to count for something?

He waited ten minutes, just staring out the window, before he got the courage to throw on his sneakers, grab the book (his ruse, in case he needed one after all), and stride across the compound. He took a deep breath before knocking on her door, and waited anxiously for her to open it. It scared him, how much he longed to lay eyes on her, especially because she'd occupied his every waking thought for over a week now.

Juliet opened the door, confused by the late visitor, but a stunned expression blossomed on her face once she realized who stood before her. "I brought your book back," he offered awkwardly when she didn't say anything, and shoved the novel into her hands. "It was good but damn - it was sad as shit. I don't know how the hell it can be your fav- "

But he was cut off. She launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and molding her lips against his. The sudden warmth of her embrace and her overwhelming scent assailed him, and he let out a low moan in response. He wrapped his arms around her torso and lifted her clear off the ground. She giggled against his lips, and squeezed tighter.

Holding her against him, he walked into her house. She used the hand holding the book to push the door closed and wrapped her legs around his hips. He cupped her backside - all soreness and aches long forgotten - and pulled back enough to look into her shining face. It was like the sunrise, the way she looked at him. He'd never seen anything like it. Her joy was radiant, alighting her features in a soft glow that lit him on fire inside. He couldn't believe this wonderful woman was choosing him.

"I missed you," she whispered, and tossed the book onto the dining room table so she could weave her fingers through his damp hair. "Don't leave me behind again, okay?" she added, and leaned in for another deep kiss.

James didn't know if he could promise that, but it didn't matter because she gave him no room to speak. Her tongue found his and she unfurled her legs, allowing him to ease her back to the floor.

He snaked his hands up under her sweatshirt, finding she was wearing nothing underneath. Her skin was silky smooth as he went further and further up, discovering she was also braless. His hands stilled, and she pulled back, grinning wickedly.

"I don't suppose you're too tired, are you, cowboy?" she murmured, and dipped her hand boldly into the front of his jeans, cupping him. He hissed, and gripped the sweatshirt in his hands.

"Playin' with fire, Blondie," he gritted, and tugged the sweatshirt over her head. She removed her hand from his pants and flung it, leaving her topless as they stood in her living room. He blatantly admired her, and she let him. So far, the evening was going far, far better than his fantasy ever had. The version of Juliet he had in his head paled in comparison to the woman standing before him, lips slightly parted and hands rubbing his chest and shoulders. She hadn't been able to keep her hands off him since he arrived.

More confidently than James had ever seen her, Juliet smirked and grabbed the front of his shirt, guiding him to the couch. She pulled off his shirt, tugged off his pants and boxers, and took her turn to admire him. The cut of his muscles, the size of him as he grew harder by the second. He ached to touch her, but every time he tried she swatted his hand away. She even stood just out of his reach as she stepped out of her pajama pants and underwear, standing before him in the low lamp light with nothing on but a demure smile.

Carefully, she straddled his lap, tucking her knees into the couch cushions. Her eyes bored into his, and her breathing came in quick pants as he cupped her breasts in his warm hands. She looked like she was searching his face for something, but he didn't know what. But God - her eyes were so fucking blue. They were electric and endless and just as bright as they'd been when he left. He loved her eyes.

Finally, after what felt like hours but could only have been seconds, she leaned in to kiss him once more. She set the pace, going slow and chaste at first, but increased the intensity soon after. Eventually, the kisses grew desperate, and they both became dizzy from lack of oxygen. But they couldn't pull away. It was like they needed to make up for lost time - each kiss was special and important and there wasn't enough time in the world to regain the kisses they'd lost; not only from James's excursion to Hydra, but due to their own stubborn idiocy all these months of fighting against the inevitable.

Now that they had one another wholly and fully, they couldn't believe it had taken so long to get here.

After several long minutes of fervent kisses, James felt Juliet raise her hips. She sank onto him without warning, and both groaned at the blissful contact. Just as she had with their kisses, Juliet set the pace; she started slow before eventually riding him fast and hard. His hands were everywhere - in her hair, scratching down her back; while hers were steadying herself, either by gripping the back of the couch or his broad shoulders, or planted flat on the wall behind him.

Soon, James felt the familiar tightening of her muscles around him. Her whines were also coming in short bursts, and her eyes were squeezed shut. He held onto her waist, savoring the sensation, and it wasn't much longer that he crashed, too.

Exhausted and sweaty, Juliet collapsed against his chest, still connected. She tucked her face into the crook of his neck and he wrapped his arms lovingly behind her.

"Sonofabitch…" he huffed. "I'd say ya missed me alright. Guess four wasn't enough to last til I got back?" he chuckled, and he felt the short exhale of her breathy laugh on his collarbone.

"Five," she corrected, and then almost wished she hadn't admitted it.

"FIve?" he exclaimed, maneuvering his neck to look down into her face. She was blushing. "Oh Christ…" he mumbled, and squeezed her tighter. "That's real fuckin' sexy, you know that?"

She gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I'm sure you did it too."

"Damn straight," he admitted. "Man's gotta, when all I thought about was you the whole time."

She smiled. "Oh yeah?"

He gave her a pointed look. "Can ya blame me? God, you're the hottest woman I ever seen."

Juliet rolled her eyes. Finally, against both of their wishes, she raised up on her knees and he slipped out of her. She left him on the couch to go to the bathroom, but James could hardly move. His legs were still shaking.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a memory flashed before his eyes. Kate, in his tent, riding him the same way Juliet had. It had been quick and unexpected, and she'd fucked him hard, right there in the sand in the middle of the day. He'd almost thanked Jack, afterwards.

He sucked in a breath. It was the first time he'd thought about Kate like that in a long time. "You coming?" Juliet called from her bathroom, and James could hear her brushing her teeth. When he finally gained the strength to stand, he wobbled down the hall and saw she was still completely naked, standing in her bathroom doorway, watching him.

He wanted to smile, but he couldn't. He felt too guilty, thinking of Kate at a time like this. But she didn't seem to notice the shame coloring his cheeks.

When she was finished, he stepped in to clean up before joining her in her bedroom. She laid down on the right side of the bed, snuggling down onto her side. He climbed in and turned so they were lying face to face in the darkened room. The moonlight coming in through the windows illuminated the back of Juliet's head, giving her a silvery halo. If anything, it only served to make him feel worse about comparing her to Kate. After all, Kate could never compare to Juliet, but Juliet always feared she did.

Under the covers, Juliet found James's hand. She brought it up to her lips and kissed his knuckles, finally noticing the cuts there. The gesture distracted him from his own self-loathing. Her eyes flicked up to his, a silent question. He grimaced. He didn't want to talk about what he had to do there. And if he was being honest, he really never wanted to have to go there ever again.

Understanding his reservation, she lowered his hand back down and snuggled her face down into his neck instead. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close, running his hands along her impossibly soft skin. He sighed deeply, letting everything about her take over his senses. It didn't take long before he was fast asleep, though he didn't stay that way for long.

The pit of shadows reached out its tendrils, snaking them around Juliet's ankles. But James didn't notice at first. His eyes were locked on Kate's face, dirty and frowning back at him. It wasn't until Juliet began to shriek that he finally saw the shadows were wrapped around her thighs and hips now too.

A pit made of shadows appeared beside her, and she was yanked down. He reached out his hand, panic and fear making his body go numb. Somehow, he found her, and tugged hard.

She screamed, but held fast. When he looked down at her, she was terrified. Tears streamed down her face, but she held on for dear life.

God - his shoulder burned. Not only was he holding her full weight, but the tugging was growing stronger. Juliet whimpered, "James," but then her eyes flicked up to the right. James didn't have to look up to know Kate was standing beside him, looking down at Juliet's face with sympathy.

"Help me, goddamnit!" he screeched, and tried to use his knees as leverage, but Juliet wouldn't budge. Her screams broke through him, shattering him like glass.

Broken glass… that was what his shoulder felt like.

"I already did," Kate offered sadly. She placed a tentative, sympathetic hand on his opposite shoulder, and her hand burned where it touched him.

Everything about this felt wrong. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. Why wasn't it Kate being sucked down, and not Juliet?

"It'll be okay, James," Juliet sobbed. "You need to let go."

"I can't!" he roared.

"You have to. Or I'll never make it."

And before he could argue, she screamed one last time and slid from his grasp.

James shot up in the bed, covered in sweat. He looked around, bewildered and confused, not knowing where the hell he was. The next thing he knew, Juliet's hands were on his face, stroking and soothing back his hair.

Juliet. He was in her house. He stayed the night, after they… She was okay. James threw his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him.

"You're here," he murmured into her hair, and could almost feel the dry, strangled sob trapped in his diaphragm.

"I'm here, James. I've got you. It's okay," she reassured him, her voice high and frightened yet also gentle and soothing. She held him for several long moments, stroking him from his head to his shoulders to his bare chest until he finally stopped shaking. "I didn't know you were still having nightmares," she commented sadly. The action of calming him like this felt familiar.

"I wasn't, not for a while…" he admitted, his voice thick and deep. "But you - you were just there. I had you," he began to ramble before thinking better of it. He shook his head; he didn't need to burden her with this.

"You still do. I'm here. I'm right here." She placed his hand over her heart, and he felt the reassuring beating beneath her skin.

She was right. She was here. It was all going to be okay. He gulped and took a deep, steadying breath before lying back down. She positioned herself on her back so he could lay his head on her shoulder. She brushed back his hair from his face and kissed the top of his head, wondering what the hell had scared him so badly. Though, she wasn't sure she entirely wanted to know.

After a few minutes, James began to breathe deeply and evenly, suggesting he'd fallen back asleep. And Juliet held him, not letting go, even as the darkness pulled her down, too.