A/N: Posting early because I will be out of town this weekend. Fluff-lovers beware, because this one takes the cake. Because what does fire and water make? Steam, my lovelies. Steam. :) Enjoy!
Special shoutout to Ariz0na - may this fulfill all your wildest fantasies :D
(Also if you haven't listened to the quoted song, you should, it really reminds me of them here. I just didn't post the whole lyrics.)
—-
It took us a while
With every breath a new day
With love on the line
We've had our share of mistakes
But all your flaws and scars are mine
Still falling for you
Ellie Goulding, Still Falling For You
—-
Chapter 16: Fire + Water
It was the middle of May, and the entire compound was shut down due to an incoming tropical storm. The school was closed, provisions were handed out the night before in case of a power outage, and the sonar fence was turned up to maximum capacity. Phil volunteered to man the security station, allowing the rest of the team to stay home. Though, even if he hadn't, James would have assigned him the task regardless.
He awoke to the slamming of rain against the windows, and the clattering of the shutters. It startled him, and he instinctively reached for the gun in his nightstand. The clapclapclap was too reminiscent of gunfire in his hazy state. Juliet looked around blearily, eyes half-closed, trying to figure out the source of the noise.
"Whuh wassat?" she mumbled, looking around. James heard it again, recognized what it was, and set the gun back into the drawer with a loud sigh.
"Just the shutters, baby. Go back to sleep," he murmured, and ran a hand across his face. There was a slight chill in the room, and James checked the clock before settling back down into the covers. It was only 6:30 in the morning, though he'd have never known that due to the room still being dark, and he was pissed at being woken up from such a good sleep. He'd been dreaming about… something. He wasn't sure what, but it had been good.
James pulled the blankets up around his bare shoulders and laid on his side facing Juliet, who was lying on her stomach in just a tank top and underwear. She shivered, and scooted closer to him, until their faces were inches apart. James emitted a delicious amount of body heat, perfect for a chilly morning such as this one, and she found herself tucking her leg between his and snaking her forearm under his armpit.
For a while, they dozed. Not quite asleep, but not fully awake either. James's hot skin was soft and toned, and Juliet couldn't help but run her fingers across the hard lines of his body each time she adjusted her position. It shouldn't have surprised her when his hand snaked under her tank top, caressing her spine. His fingers trailed lightly across her skin, making goosebumps despite the warmth under the covers.
When her eyes opened, his were already watching her. "I thought I told you to go back to bed," he mumbled, voice froggy from disuse. "And yet here you are, strokin' me every which way, keepin' me awake." He smiled and she practically melted. She loved when he looked at her like that.
"I tried. I did. But you must be stealing my lotion because your skin never used to be this soft," she responded with a teasing smile of her own, and closed her eyes before running her hand up his side and back down again.
"Psh. What's mine is yours, ain't that how it goes?" he chuckled, and slipped his hand into the back of her underwear, cupping her ass. She sucked in a breath and snuggled closer, choosing not to correct him that that saying only applied to marriage.
"So you say. Until I take your sweatshirt and then somehow I've committed a criminal offense."
"Hey now - I only got the one!" he laughed, and pressed his groin against her hip, desperate for contact. "You do look awful cute in it though."
"I wish I knew what the bulldog was from. Sports team I guess?" She planted a kiss on his chin.
"I guess," he agreed, and kissed her on the tip of her nose.
For several minutes, they listened to the spattering of the rain and whistling of the wind, running their hands across one another and sneaking small, inconsequential kisses. James had never been happier to wake up beside her, knowing they were going to be able to spend the whole day at home together like this - no interruptions, no Miles or Jin, no nothing.
These early morning moments were his favorite, when she was still sleepy and unguarded, completely herself without a trace of her protective mask. She wore every emotion on her face, including her hunger for him, which only fueled his own for her.
As wonderfully intimate as the touching was, her languid strokes were making him so hard it almost hurt. Taking the initiative, James finally maneuvered Juliet until she was lying on her back, and ran his hand down her soft stomach. He tugged down her underwear and watched her face as he slipped two fingers inside her, unsurprised to find her warm and wet, waiting for him. She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes, tilting her hips to meet his hand, and James grinned.
These were the moments he lived for. Watching her come undone… there was nothing quite like it. The sounds she made as he caressed her, slipping in and out of her with tantalizing slowness, were music to his ears. The soft whimpers, the huffed breaths… it was so mesmerizing, he had to force himself to remain focused on his task before getting too swept away.
He almost lost all resolve completely when her hand reached out to hold him, moving back and forth, providing some relief to the building pressure. He groaned loudly, and adjusted his hips for her to get a better grip. He slowed down his pursuit, reveling in the fact that they could take their time for once without needing to be up for work, but soon she was begging for him and it didn't take much more than that.
He raised himself up on his knees, and she adjusted the blanket back up over his shoulders. The gesture moved him, even despite the tunnel vision of needing to be inside her right here, right now. It was a simple thing really - she didn't want him to be cold - but the care behind her action was something else entirely. He ravaged her lips with renewed force, and slipped inside her easily. She held onto him, legs locked behind his lower back, arms around his shoulders and fingers raking through his hair. She planted soft kisses on his shoulder and neck, and they rocked together until they were both seeing stars and trembling.
James collapsed between her legs, stomach pressed against her throbbing center. He laid his head on her chest, which was still covered in her tank top, and she wrapped her arms tightly around him, holding him to her. "Good morning to you, too," she breathed, and kissed the top of his head.
He chuckled. "So much for sleepin' in this mornin'."
"Overrated," she murmured, and brushed back his hair from his forehead.
"Says the grumpiest mornin' person I ever met," he teased back playfully. She responded in kind by dumping him on his side and pinning him to the bed by his shoulders.
"I am not!" she protested in mock defiance. "I am perfectly fine in the mornings."
"That's bullshit an' you know it!" he laughed, undaunted by her towering above him.
Juliet rolled her eyes, tamping down on the smile growing across her face. She rose from the bed, much to James's disappointment, and hurried into the hallway to use the bathroom. After a few moments, she scampered back in, jumping back under the covers and pressing herself to him for warmth.
"It's really cold out there," she shivered, and tucked her legs back between his. They were both naked from the waist down, and Juliet was tempted to remedy that (even if she loved feeling his skin against hers).
"I guess it's the storm. Still dark, too, even though it's past sunrise."
Juliet looked around the room, as if just now noticing the low light. "Yeah. Guess so. What time is it?"
James peeked over to his nightstand. "Quarter past eight," he replied. As if on cue, his stomach gurgled. "Gotta get some grub. Get our energy back, so we can do that again." He grinned and leaned over to kiss the side of her neck.
"So it's gonna be that kind of day, huh?" she purred, and scratched her nails lightly against the stubble on his jaw.
"Mmmmhmmm," he replied, and nuzzled her collarbone.
"Rock paper scissors for who gets up to get breakfast?" she suggested, and pulled her hands out from under the blankets. He eyed them skeptically but nodded his assent.
"Best two outta three?"
"Of course." As if there was any other way.
Three rounds later, and James was slipping into a pair of sweatpants and socks. He rummaged through the kitchen, trying to decide what would be easy to eat in bed, before finding a big bowl of cut fruit Juliet had made for brunch with Amy the day before. Amy had also left behind the makings for mimosas, and James stacked everything in his arms, plus two forks, before returning back to the bedroom.
He found Juliet sitting in bed wearing sweatpants and his bulldog hoodie, exuding a smug expression that said: 'Go on, say something, I dare you.'
"Oooh, mimosas… great idea!" She clapped excitedly, and took the two bottles from his hands. She eyed the contents, determining how much was left, before unceremoniously dumping the remainder of the champagne directly into the bottle of orange juice - glasses be damned. Her goofy smile made James laugh, and he crawled into bed beside her, handing her a fork and propping up the bowl of fruit on his lap.
"Glad you had leftovers, cuz I wasn't cookin'."
Juliet speared a strawberry and popped it into her mouth, sighing. "I wouldn't want you to cook. You'd be gone too long." The comment made James's chest swell with happiness, but she didn't seem to notice.
He eyed the contents of the bowl and selected a mango cube. He hadn't had mango in a long, long time, but he ate it anyway. Surprisingly, it actually hit the spot, and he speared another piece too.
"Hey! Don't go stealing all the mango!" Juliet whined, and stabbed a piece of her own. She tucked it into her mouth and laughed at his stunned expression. "What?"
"I ain't had mango in God knows how long, and I take two bites, and you're gonna call me a hog?" he asked incredulously, and shook his head in faux-disappointment. This teasing banter was too easy with her. It felt so… normal. It was something he'd always longed to have, and yet never thought he would find. He'd had it with Kate, but it always felt like he had to have his guard up, like she was always trying to find a way to trick him, in the way that he always tried to trick her. With Juliet, there was none of that pretense. They could just be themselves. It was… refreshing, to say the least.
She grinned and licked her fork before snagging another piece. "It's not my fault you haven't had any."
He scoffed. "You try livin' off the stuff for four months and see if it's still appetizin' after that."
Juliet nodded. "That's how I feel about bananas. I hate bananas."
James popped a few blueberries into his mouth and gave her a sideways glance. "I didn't know that."
Juliet took a swig of the orange juice bottle and passed it to him. He took a swig too. "Yeah. We ate them a lot when I was a kid, and then I came here, and… let's just say they're not my favorite."
James almost made a joke about wanting to watch her eat a banana, but she was being real with him and he didn't want to ruin it. He loved learning new things about her, and it seemed ever since she moved in, he'd been learning something new every day. "Bananas are overrated," he agreed. "But man - a good ole Granny Smith apple? Those're my favorite," he declared.
Juliet giggled. "I wouldn't peg you for a sour palate kind of guy."
"Oh yeah. The more tart the better. But hell, when we crashed? I'dda eaten anything. Just got real sick 'a mangoes after a while."
"I'll eat almost anything, too," Juliet agreed, and then turned away, slightly wistful. "But maybe not ham. Ham's been ruined for me."
"Ham?" He took another swig of the juice, and passed it to her. She took a large, deep gulp and made an 'ahh' sound as she pulled it away.
"Yeah. Ham. Ben made it for me once. He tricked me into having a private dinner date with him. It was… awkward."
James cringed, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "God he's a fuckin' weasel."
Juliet snorted in agreement, and the moment passed. They chatted and ate the rest of the fruit until the bowl was empty and the mimosa long gone. Juliet was already tipsy, and laughed every time she hiccuped. James found it completely adorable, and watched her intently as she played with the strings on the hoodie, tying them in bows and untying them, almost without realizing she was doing it.
"Alright Blondie, you're all mine today. So whatcha wanna do now?" James asked. The storm was still raging outside, but the room was finally bright enough to recognize it was daytime. Juliet looked around, as if thinking. A slow smile spread across her face and she turned to look deviously at James. He didn't like that look.
Juliet rose from the bed and went rummaging in the linen closet in the hallway. She poked her head just barely past the door frame, staring intently at James with a wicked look on her face. "I ain't gonna like this, am I?" he groaned, and she wiggled her eyebrows goofily in response.
"That depends," she said slowly, walking into the room with something clasped behind her back.
"Aw Christ, Jules… what're you doin'?" he moaned louder, trying to figure out just what in the hell she was hiding.
She jumped up onto the bed and sat cross-legged at the end of it, staring at him with wide, deep blue eyes. And James knew. He rolled his eyes, let his head fall back against the headboard, and groaned in defeat.
"Alright, alright. But I swear to God, Juliet. You tell a single fuckin' soul about this, and we're gonna have a problem." He cut his eyes down to look at her, an obvious, purposeful pout plastered across his face, but she was giddy as could be. Her eyes were sparkling with glee, and she pulled out a bottle of magenta nail polish, a manicure kit, and a washcloth from behind her back. "Son of a bitch," he whispered to himself, and placed a hand over his eyes to shield himself from his own shame.
Juliet almost made a joke about finally being allowed to do this for him (because of the comment he'd made once upon a January day about only letting his girlfriends paint his nails), but things were too light and fun today. She didn't want to ruin the mood by forcing him into adding a label to whatever 'this' was. She assumed she was his girlfriend, but he'd never really called her that. The word felt too… juvenile, even for her. Sure, that's what this was, but calling it that was something else entirely. At least, that's how it felt. She half-wondered if they were ever going to say the words, and whether it bothered her that he hadn't already.
She laid out the washcloth and stripped off his socks, observing what she had to work with. Feet never really bothered her, and James's especially were far more groomed than she expected them to be. His nails were cut, he had very little hair, and overall they seemed well cared for (despite all the many scars she noticed across his skin). She gently traced her finger across the one she'd treated when they time-traveled here, and the memory flashed across her eyes like it was yesterday. In actuality, it had been almost an entire year ago, as of next week. When she looked up at James, he was staring intently at her, seemingly lost in the memory too. She'd have never suspected in a million years back then that they'd end up here, now, like this, together.
"You have nice feet," she commented offhandedly as she got to work filing.
James laughed. "Can't say I've ever been told that before."
"You haven't?"
"Hell no I haven't. Ain't ever gotten a pedicure before."
"They're wonderful. Especially the massage part. And the sugar scrub. They always feel so nice after it's done."
"Wasn't too high on my priority list on the beach, but even before then, it seemed too weird for a guy to go get one."
"Guys can get pedicures. There's nothing wrong with that." James scoffed, and flinched a little as she started buffing. It tickled. Juliet's hand stilled, and she flashed James a knowing smile. "Ahh. That's why. You're ticklish."
James scoffed again, louder this time. "Everyone's ticklish, Blondie. It ain't a big secret." He noticed she was more careful with her buffing, and he finally relaxed into her hands. As she worked, a thought suddenly occurred to him. It started out small, just an observation, but the more he dwelled on it, the more it made his chest swell.
She was more playful with him than ever, especially since they'd moved in together, but she never treated him with any disrespect with her teasing. In fact, he'd noticed quite the opposite. She would do things for him without prompting, and without asking for anything in return. She would adjust whenever he showed any sign of discomfort, and seemed genuinely committed to going out of her way to be kind to him. Like now, as soon as she realized he was ticklish - she didn't give him a hard time, she just adjusted her ministrations and said nothing more on the subject. The care and reverence she put into all things she did for him - whether that be the way she folded his clothes when it was her turn to do laundry, or the way she made his breakfast the way he liked it, or changed out his towels for him when he used them too long… everything about the little things that she did indicated a kind of thoughtfulness James had never experienced before.
It reminded him of when she'd gotten him his first pair of Dharma reading glasses, even though she was planning on leaving on the sub. Or when she'd made him his birthday cake, spending far too long on it, he'd learned later, just because she wanted to be sure to get it right. The fact that she cared enough to do something just to please him and make him happy, especially little things that he most certainly took for granted most days, was enough to make his heart ache and stomach constrict.
When she smiled up at him encouragingly, he had to grit his teeth against the burning behind his eyes. He knew he didn't fucking deserve her, but goddamn it if he didn't love her more than he'd ever loved anyone.
He watched, entranced, as she slicked the nail polish over his toenails. It looked fucking ridiculous, but he let her go to town. She told him about how Rachel would take her for pedicures after every failed exam in college, every break up - pretty much anything that got Juliet down. She laughed, pulling away the brush, and joked that she'd started being conditioned into almost wanting to fail exams and have terrible dates, if it meant being treated to a spa day. James listened, chuckling softly at her exuberance, and realized - this was the first time she'd talked about Rachel so openly, and with nothing but a smile. James didn't know what to make of that, but he didn't want to break the spell, so he let her continue on.
When she was done, she capped the nail polish and blew softly onto his toes, helping them dry. Her breath was warm against the chilly air, and he smirked as he watched her bend low and pucker her lips to do it. "Helluva view," he commented, and she laughed before swatting at his calf.
Without thinking, he held out his hand, and she grinned, eyes alight, as she handed him the tools and the polish. They traded places, though James kept his legs spread and his toes up to prevent the polish from getting on the bed. He propped Juliet's now bare foot up on his thigh, and kissed the inside of her ankle.
"I remember doin' this for my mama once," James murmured softly, before he had the chance to think twice and hold back. He felt Juliet tense, and he wished he could swallow back the words.
"I'll bet she loved that," she said with an encouraging smile, and James bit his lip before nodding. He rarely talked about them, they both knew that, and they both knew why. But she had shared something with him, and he felt it fitting to do the same.
He told her stories, hoping to distract her from the terrible job he was doing on her toes. The polish was going all over her skin, and rather than straight lines, he found himself trying to paint sideways to get the edges. She didn't seem to mind though, and listened with a quiet patience that James appreciated. When he was done and the polish was capped, he had to admit he felt slightly lighter, having remembered his mother in a positive way for once.
He leaned in and blew on her toes, laughing as she wiggled them back and forth. "It's terrible, ya ain't gotta say it," he commented dully and moved to put their supplies back in the closet and the washcloth in the hamper.
But Juliet shook her head, staring lovingly at her feet. "No way. I think you did a wonderful job," she said simply, and he didn't hear even a trace of sarcasm. It made him feel good.
Lunch came early, if only to curb the lightheadedness Juliet was still feeling from the mimosas. They made sandwiches - turkey, of course - with Dharma-brand cheez-its on the side. They ate at the table to prevent crumbs from getting in the bed (Juliet was a stickler about that) and by the time they were done, both were feeling full and sleepy from the mood set by the rain.
Taking his hand, Juliet pulled James back to bed and they preemptively shed their clothes before crawling under the covers, pressing fully against one another, skin to skin. Sleep came easily, and almost two full hours passed before James was roused awake by Juliet settling herself between his knees, kissing his thighs under the covers.
They made love slowly, relishing in the fact that they could so easily pleasure the other. They knew all the right spots, and took their time, in no rush to finish what they'd started. Their soft moans were drowned out by the still pounding rain, and everything about it felt like magic to Juliet. She never would have expected James to be so generous in bed, but he was. He savored her, and treasured her, and made her feel like she had his full and undivided attention at all times. If she dwelled on it too long, she would almost guess that he loved her, but she couldn't focus on that. She didn't want to cry, even as he ghosted his fingers delicately over her favorite spots and kissed her with such reverence, he broke her heart wide open.
When they were finally done, both trembling and sticky and completely sated, Juliet placed a gentle kiss on his collarbone before lying her head on his shoulder. "You are… incredible," she whispered softly.
"Mmm. So're you," he agreed, and kissed her forehead. "It don't get any better, wakin' up to that."
She giggled. "I know you were sleeping but…"
"Uh-uh - don't you dare apologize. You got my permission to do that every damn day, no matter the hour," James assured her, and squeezed her more tightly to him.
They laid together for a few more minutes, breathing in deeply and letting their heart rates return to baseline. His hands stroked lovingly over her back, and she nestled her nose against his neck.
After a moment she asked, "What do you want to do now? It's your turn to pick."
James considered. It wasn't yet dinnertime, but he'd slept so much he wasn't tired. He didn't want to get up out of bed, so he had to come up with something they could do without moving. "How 'bout a little Truth or Dare?" he suggested with a dimpled grin, and peered down to see what Juliet thought.
She smiled softly, looking up at him with half-lidded eyes. "I should have known," she murmured, and shook her head slightly.
"What?"
"You and your games. But that's fine. I'll play. But no leaving the house," she asserted, and he nodded his assent. "Truth or dare, James?"
"Truth," James stated, and adjusted his position to get more comfortable. Juliet propped her head up on her pillow instead of his shoulder, so she could watch him more easily.
"Okay. Hmm… What do you miss most about living out in the real world?" She thought it would be an easy one, something to get them started, but his quietness made her worried she'd hit a nerve.
After a moment he finally answered, "I got two. Take out, for one, and the other would be snow."
Juliet blinked. "Snow?"
"Yeah. The white stuff that falls from the sky when it's cold?" She shoved him playfully.
"I didn't think you liked snow."
James shook his head. "I hated that fake shit Horace put up at Christmastime. But I never really saw snow much back home, so when I did, it was like a weird treat."
"Did you ever play in it?"
"Sure. But it was always the wet shit that was more slop than anything. I liked bein' up north in the winter, when the real stuff came down. But it wasn't the same. Not like you're gonna go play in it as an adult." Juliet stared at him, wide-eyed. The cosmos must be perfectly aligned today, because James was telling her far more about himself than she could have ever read in his file. It was blowing her mind, and putting her under some kind of trance.
"I'll do truth, too," she offered, and he scoffed before admonishing her for not waiting for the question. She rolled her eyes and grinned, waiting for him to ask, before answering Truth again.
"What's your number?" James asked with one perfectly arched eyebrow. Juliet's mouth dropped open.
"That's your question?"
"That a problem?"
"No, I'm just surprised… you could barely tolerate the idea of guys talking to me, and now you wanna know how many I've slept with?"
James shrugged, unphased. "It's cuz I liked you. And yeah, fine, I was jealous. But ain't nothin' to be jealous of no more. I'm here, they're not." He grinned like the Cheshire Cat, and Juliet rolled her eyes before flopping onto her back, cheeks flaming. It didn't help that he rubbed his hand over her thigh, proving his point.
"It's nowhere close to yours."
"Oh yeah, for sure. Mine… you don't wanna know mine." He was right. She didn't.
"Seven," she stated simply, and then felt almost embarrassed by it. She shouldn't, because it wasn't meek, but it wasn't wild either.
"Well… who were the lucky fellas?" James probed, but Juliet tisked.
"You only asked for the number," she murmured softly. He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "Fine. Fine. Okay. My first was Adam Carter. He was my high school boyfriend, on-again, off-again, the whole nine. But we broke up before college. I don't know the name of the second guy… he was someone a friend introduced me to, and we only went out twice before we… well, anyway. I think his name started with a B. But after that, I kinda swore off guys when he wouldn't call me back."
"Clearly he was blind, too," James muttered under his breath. It made Juliet smile. He'd once said the same thing about Ed.
"I met Ed in grad school, and we got married pretty quickly afterwards. It was fine at first, but… you know what happened there. After he and I divorced, I slept with a friend of mine actually. It was nice, but it wasn't romantic at all. I think he was just trying to help me feel better, which - it didn't. His name was Patrick. Number five was this really great guy I met a few months before coming to the island, named Will. But it didn't work out, which was fine." Juliet bit her lip, thinking about Goodwin. "Before you was Goodwin, and you know about him, so…"
"That makes me lucky number seven?" James asked, tilting his head to look at her from across the pillow.
"Mmmhmm."
"No Jack?"
Juliet cut her eyes to stare at him. "No. No Jack."
James grinned and took her hand in his. He was glad she'd never slept with the Doc. And he liked that he was lucky number seven. Maybe it was a good omen. Maybe if he was lucky, he'd be her last. The thought startled him, and he spoke before the grin could fade from his face at what his brain had just implied. "My go."
"Alright, truth or dare," she asked, knowing now that she had to ask the question before he'd answer.
And so they played, back and forth, having a pretty good time considering the simplicity. James had to pick a favorite between Miles and Jin (Jin) and Juliet had to recall her most embarrassing story from childhood (when she'd gotten her period on the school bus in seventh grade). The questions grew sillier and sillier until finally Juliet had the courage to break the streak, and chose Dare.
James smiled, trying to decide what would be a good dare. He racked his brain for what he knew about her, and finally a memory played across his mind from his birthday last year. "I dare you to sing me a song," he challenged. She quirked an eyebrow, clearly taken aback.
"Sing? Now?"
"Yeah. You gotta good voice, I've heard it."
A flush crept up her neck and she stuttered. "I - I don't know… there isn't any music…"
"Aw, come on. Just a little somethin'."
He pressed her hands to her cheeks as if to cool them. He almost laughed, loving seeing her flustered like this. It was so rare she ever got this way. "Like what?" she asked, looking for ideas.
"I like country music. Sing me a lil country song."
Juliet laughed. "I don't like country music," she admitted, wincing when James took in a deep, calming breath, exaggerating his offense.
"I'mma pretend I didn't hear that blasphemy. Just pick a damn song, woman." James held his breath, waiting to see what she chose. He was more than pleasantly surprised when she started singing the opening verse of 'Man I Feel Like a Woman,' by Shania Twain. Her voice was soft and low, and for not having the music, she carried the tune flawlessly, making absolutely certain not to meet his gaze as she did so.
She went through the first chorus before stopping, finally meeting his awed expression with her sheepish one. "That enough?" she asked.
James hooted. "Hot damn, Blondie! You gotta helluva nice voice, you know that?" Juliet flushed deeper, and flipped onto her stomach to hide her face in her pillow. "Nuh uh, come outta there," he said, tugging her towards him. "I dunno that I'd call that country, but - "
"Shania Twain!? Are you joking? Of course she's country!" Juliet practically screeched with dismay.
"Ehhh, she's more pop than anything," James argued back, and Juliet sat up, stunned.
"No way. She's the Queen of Country. I thought you'd appreciate it, since I took your genre suggestion."
"She ain't real country. She's from Canada!" Juliet laughed at the absurdity of their conversation and settled back down into the bed.
"Agree to disagree," she chuckled. "But… thank you. Glad you liked it."
"Liked it? I gotta say - you can sing the damn phone book for all I care; anytime you want." Juliet kissed him, if only to cut off his never-ending praise. It was too much for her to handle.
They continued the game, Juliet daring James to massage her back (he did, if only briefly because it was making him horny) and Juliet switched back to Truth. Just as she was about to end the game, James asked her one final time. Figuring he'd been fairly tame with his dares so far, she selected Dare.
James had been saving this one. He could tell things were winding down and she was getting antsy. But this one? This was gonna be a good one. "Alright…" he started off, and Juliet immediately regretted her decision, just by his tone alone. "Last Christmas, Miles got you a very special present."
"Yeah, the robe. Why?"
James shook his head, and Juliet felt her cheeks warm. "Nope. Not that. The panties." Oh, Christ, she thought. The lacy panties had been a joke, but she did in fact still have them. "I had a little… fantasy, if you will, when I saw 'em." Juliet heard thunder clap in the distance, a perfect representation of the ominous feeling in her stomach about what James was going to ask.
"Just spit it out," she urged, growing impatient.
"Hold your horses, I'm gettin' there. Okay. So. I dare you to go make us some dinner, wearin' just the lacy panties, and… maybe an apron," he added the last part under his breath, almost ashamed of his fantasy. He realized now how it sounded, a little too Martha Stewart, but Juliet didn't laugh like he expected her to.
She did furrow her eyebrows at him, but only responded with, "Wait, that's it? That's the dare?"
"Yeah," he shrugged, scratching behind his ear, almost regretful that he'd asked.
But Juliet shrugged back and nodded once before swinging her legs over the side of the bed. He watched as she found the black lace panties from inside her drawer. She went to tug them on, but she looked at him over her shoulder and said, "Close your eyes. It's gotta be a surprise."
James chuckled and obliged, heart beginning to race. He heard the telltale scratch of her hairbrush and the sound sent butterflies through his stomach. Once more, she was trying; doing something extra just because it made him happy. He was one lucky son of a bitch.
He heard her rustling around the closet, and then she retreated down the hallway. He heard the opening of the cabinets, and the fridge, and opened his eyes. "Are you coming out? You can't see it if you aren't out here!" she called out to him, sing-songing.
James scrambled out of bed, tripping over his sweatpants as he tugged them on over his bare ass. When he stumbled down the hallway, the sight took his breath away, actually making him stumble backward a step.
Juliet wore the panties, as requested, and had found a pale pink apron from somewhere in the cabinets to wear around her torso. It was short, stopping at the top of her thighs, but the icing on the cake was her shoes. Juliet wore a black pair of two, maybe three inch heels (James couldn't tell) - an added bonus he had not been expecting, and her hair was piled into a bun on the top of her head, with short pieces curling down around her eyes.
"Sonofabitch," James whispered to himself, going so far as to hold onto the wall to steady himself as the blood drained from his brain. Juliet smiled at him before unwrapping a Dharma frozen pizza and putting it on a baking sheet. She bent down, her long, lean legs catching his attention as she placed the pizza into the oven.
She rose, slapping her hands against one another as if dusting them off and sighed, "There. Dinner's made," adding a breathy laugh at his bewildered expression. She only had enough time to set the timer before James was assailing her mouth with his. His hands were everywhere - scratching up her back, squeezing her backside, getting lost in her hair. Before Juliet could react, James had her hoisted up on the kitchen counter and was biting roughly on her neck.
Heels and all, she wrapped her legs around his waist and sighed in contentment. She'd suspected that enacting his fantasy would have some positive effects, sure, but his guttural reaction had been more than she could have hoped for. He slipped his fingers inside the panties and Juliet sucked in a breath, completely lost in the overwhelming sensation.
The counter was slick by the time James came, not even ten full minutes later. His pants were wrapped around his ankles and Juliet's apron was only loosely hanging by her neck, the cord unwound. Her hair had tumbled out of its bun from his roughness and her lips were swollen and red from his feverish kisses.
He stepped back enough to help her ease herself down, and admired his handiwork. She looked like she was glowing, and he felt pretty damn proud of himself for lasting as long as he had.
Juliet stood on shaking legs, a wide smile blooming across her face. James pulled his pants up before cupping her bright pink cheeks in his hands. He stared down at her, admiring her, and placed one last kiss on her tender lips.
"I love seein' you smile like that," he murmured, and Juliet grinned even wider. In fact, James couldn't get over the fact that she'd been smiling more lately than she ever had. It was usually at him, which gave him near-painful butterflies in his stomach. He swore to himself he'd do just about anything to keep her smiling that way, and was all too disappointed to remember that this perfect day was starting to come to a close.
The timer for the pizza went off, startling them from their post-coital haze. James slipped on the oven mitts and pulled the pizza out while Juliet went back into the bedroom to clean up and change clothes. She returned wearing sweatpants and his hoodie, which drowned her, but she looked just as gorgeous as she had moments ago. Her hair was back in a bun on her head and her cheeks were still pink with afterglow.
After sanitizing the kitchen counters, James poured them water and they sat at the table to eat. They ate in comfortable silence, not feeling the need to talk just to fill the void. It was slowing down outside, and James could only hear light rumbling in the distance. The house was slightly warmer, and overall he felt cozy, spent, and almost high with happiness.
When they were done, he cleaned up their plates and Juliet wiped down the table before they ambled back into the bedroom, taking up their respective spots under the covers. Juliet held out James's book and glasses to him, which she'd snagged from the coffee table in the living room, and he nodded before flicking on the bedside lamp. She followed suit on her side, and they settled against each other before finding where they'd left off in their books.
Juliet leaned her temple against James's shoulder while she read, but she barely made it two pages before she set it down and said, "You know… I never, ever expected to be this happy here."
James tucked his bookmark right back between the pages and set it down on his lap. He looked down at her over his reading glasses. The comment had taken him aback, and he didn't really know what to say. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," she breathed, keeping her head planted firmly against him, staring out into nothing.
Curiosity waged war against caution in James's head. He wanted to know more about why living with the Others was so damn terrible. He knew Ben was a freak, and he knew he'd ordered her to be branded instead of killed for killing Pickett. He knew they wandered the jungle at times, and terrorized his people, but she was one of them, not one of the terrorized. Yeah, Ben kept her prisoner and wouldn't let her leave, which was enough to justify her comment all on its own; but she had comforts too, like friends and food and book club, for God's sake. He didn't want her to feel attacked for feeling the way she did, but he also felt like maybe there was something she wasn't saying.
"Did Ben ever… hurt you?" he dared to ask, wondering if that was perhaps the missing piece in all this. She had said he'd tricked her into that private dinner - maybe he'd hurt her in some way too?
"Not directly," Juliet sighed. "He was the one who sent Goodwin away, effectively having him killed just by his association with me."
"He wouldn't have sent him if y'all weren't sleeping together?" James asked, surprised.
Juliet moved her head off his shoulder to look at him, guilt evident in her face. "No. He would have sent someone else. I'm sure of it."
"Shit…" James murmured, almost sorry he'd asked. That was a huge burden to bear, he was certain, especially considering their relationship was supposed to have been a private affair.
"I don't think I ever told you this, but…" Juliet trailed off, fiddling with the hoodie strings again. "Ben took me to see Goodwin's body. After Ana Lucia killed him. But there was something more, something Ben said as I asked him 'why.' I was distraught, of course, that they didn't even have the decency to bury such a thoughtful, loyal man after he'd died for no reason, just to serve Ben…" Juliet was fuming, growing more and more worked up the more she spoke. James placed his hand atop her shoulder. She took a deep breath. "I asked Ben why. I didn't care how Goodwin had died, but I wanted to know why Ben saw fit to bring me there. I know, out on the dock, at New Years, I told you what happened with that, but I don't think I ever told you what Ben said."
"You don't have to," James offered, trying to let her know it was okay. But she shook her head and continued, determined.
"No, it's okay. It's important that you know this… Ben told me I was his. He insinuated that he'd brought me there to remind me that he owned me. I felt… I felt disgusting, after. I showered twice, when I got home, just because no matter how hard I scrubbed, I couldn't stop seeing Goodwin, or hearing Ben's voice…" Juliet rubbed her hands across her face. "Living under him was torture, James. He was possessive, and manipulative, and I think he honestly believed I cared for him. I don't know what I did to give him that impression, but God… He was so delusional. I mean, on what planet would I ever be his?" Juliet's voice hitched, and James noticed the tears glistening in her eyes.
"Juliet, you don't owe me nothin'..." James tried to say, but Juliet sniffed and smiled wryly up at him.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring down the mood. I didn't even mean to talk that much, I just… once I got going, it all kind of came spilling out. I just wanted you to know how happy you make me. How happy I've been with you here. That's all."
James took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. "Earlier… I said somethin'. I don't know if it bothered you, and I don't even really remember what I said cuz I didn't think twice about it, but… I said you were mine, too. That I had you all to myself or somethin'." His tone was apologetic, but she didn't look upset.
"It's not the same, coming from you. I like knowing how much you care about me."
This was it. He could say it, right here, right now. He almost did - the words were right there on the tip of his tongue. But the first time they'd slept together had been because of Ben. He didn't want the first time saying 'I love you' to be because of him, too. So instead he sighed and pulled the glasses off his nose, saying, "Sweetheart, you ain't mine. You're your own person… but I sure as hell am yours. I want you to know that." It sounded cheesy, even for him, but the smile that graced her face was otherworldly. He wanted to frame that smile and hang it up in the house so he could see it everyday. It was broad and genuine and just for him. He couldn't say he loved her yet, but he hoped she understood it all the same.
"You belong to you, too. Not to me. But I appreciate the sentiment," she squeaked, trying to keep her voice neutral. Clearly she was still holding back some emotion she didn't want to let out.
James put his book down and pulled her into a side hug, wrapping his arm around the back of her shoulders and the other across her chest. "You have a good day at least?"
"Are you kidding?! It was the best day I've probably ever had on this island. Or… ever, maybe."
The complement took James by surprise, but he made a mental note to give her more days like this. Intentional ones, not just because they have a tropical storm to thank. "I did too. Sex and good food and layin' in bed, talkin' to you… I can't think of a better day."
Juliet nodded and took a deep, shaking breath. "Life isn't promised. We need to do more of this, just spending time with one another. We deserve it, after everything we've gone through."
"Couldn't 'a said it better myself," he agreed. "Speakin' a which…" he mumbled, and let go of her. He traipsed into the kitchen, found two spoons and the last of the chocolate ice cream, and brought it back to a curious Juliet. Her eyes lit up, seeing what was in his hands, and she greedily took the spoon from his outstretched fingers. "Hey, if we're gonna go all out and eat like shit today, might as well do it right."
Juliet laughed, digging into the carton. She moaned when the cold treat coated her tongue, and James grinned at her enthusiasm. They took turns, passing the carton back and forth, until Juliet took to feeding him a scoop before taking a bite of her own.
"And look…" he said, after a long moment of satisfied silence. He'd been contemplating whether or not to say this, but for some reason, whenever she opened up, it made it easier for him to do the same. "You ain't the only one with baggage. We both got problems. Shit from our past we wanna forget." Juliet took a bite of ice cream, watching James's face as he searched for the right words.
"I know," she whispered, and placed a gentle hand on his arm. He thought back to when she'd all but kept her hands on him during their time-traveling escapades. How her touch has always been a source of comfort, even when he hadn't realized it.
James opened his mouth, asking for a bite. She obliged. When he swallowed, he added. "I care about you a lot. This thing we got goin'... it's better'n anything I ever had before."
She almost said, 'I know,' but she didn't. She didn't know. She couldn't. They both had their past, as he'd said, but neither truly understood the baggage of the other. They shared countless similarities, but she could never fully understand the depth of his feelings for others, as evidenced by her ridiculous envy of Kate. So instead she leaned in, kissing his eyebrow. "This is better than anything I've ever had, too."
In fact, Juliet almost said more. She almost said those three little words she felt with such vigor today, she felt like she'd been bursting at the seams. But something about James's vulnerability right now told her he wasn't ready. She'd given him an opening, and he hadn't taken it. Perhaps this was just one thing that needed to wait. Perhaps it just meant she had one more thing to look forward to.
"You know, I mean, I just want you to know… you don't gotta keep shit bottled inside anymore. I'm here for you, whenever." He used his thumb to wipe a smudge of chocolate out of the corner of her mouth. The moment between them felt tender and fragile and Juliet almost lost it, right then and there, from the gentleness of how he was being with her.
"I know," she whispered, giving him a small smile. When she placed her cold lips against his, she licked the chocolate off his bottom lip and made him chuckle. "You're my best friend, James," she whispered again, meeting his eyes, inches apart. Green stared into blue, like twin flames burning brightly for the other.
"You're mine, too," he added, grinning at the unintentional word choice.
When the ice cream was gone, Juliet went to toss it in the garbage. They brushed their teeth, resumed their reading positions, and read silently until it was time for bed.
The storm finally broke, but neither noticed. They fell asleep, wrapped in one another's arms, feeling lighter than they had all year.
—-
You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not.
Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper
—-
