"Coffee?" Myka asked, her tone making HG flinch even though she was still miles away. "You're seriously calling me now and asking if we can just go for coffee?"
HG sighed, considered ending the call but part of her knew she deserved this, if not worse.
"I know, darling," HG said finally. "If you don't want to see me, I won't come."
"Helena! Don't you dare!" Myka sounded even angrier now, and HG knew it was because she let her self-pity creep into her voice. She was in the situation as a consequence of her own choices, which only made it harder to accept. "Come here, now!" Myka snapped, and HG swallowed suddenly.
"I'm on my way," HG said quietly. She wanted to apologise, but she couldn't - she couldn't put it into words that would make the situation better, so she just mumbled a quiet 'sorry'.
A moment later she heard the dialtone.
HG's book tour was going well. Claudia and Jinks mentioned it daily at breakfast, mentioned that HG would be in South Dakota and which dates HG woud be in South Dakota while Myka ate her toast, staring off into the distance with a set jaw. Even when Claudia mentioned that she was planning on getting some of HG's books signed, Myka didn't respond.
When Myka hung up the phone, shaking her head angrily, Claudia looked away, back to the road, not wanting to distract Myka as she drove them home. She didn't know what happened, what changed, she just knew that Myka should want to see HG.
"Is she coming here?" Claudia asked meekly. "I'd like to see her."
Myka turned that distant stare on Claudia, and she zipped her lip.
HG looked so small, Myka thought as she got out of the car. Claudia released a delighted squeal and flung herself into HG's waiting arms.
"Did you not get my texts, poppet?" HG asked, overwhelmed by Claudia's exuberance. Claudia laid a smacking kiss on HG's cheek before letting her go.
"Oh! I changed numbers after my boyfriend was relocated," Claudia said, "I emailed you."
"My emails go to my publicist. I'm ever so sorry, you must have thought I'd abandoned you." HG reached out to hug Claudia tightly, knowing how she felt about being abandoned, knowing her brother and her sister and parents all disappeared on her. "You must give me your new number," she chastised.
"I was hoping you'd come home," Claudia said, smiling as she pulled away. She looked at Myka, approaching the porch, saw the oncoming storm in the set of Myka's chin, in the flame in her eyes. "Bye," she said suddenly, closing the B B door behind her.
"Two years," Myka ground out from between her teeth. "Two years and you call me, out of nowhere, for coffee?"
"I did say, the last time we saw each other..." HG trailed off and looked at her boots. Myka noticed the outfit as she looked down too; HG wore tall brown boots over cream pants with a matching brown belt, a tucked in blue blouse and a brown vest. Myka looked down; her black boots only came up to her ankle, and she was wearing a black belt with black jeans and a black vest, but they matched otherwise. The wind was taken from her sails; after all this time they were still on the same wavelength. She deflated a little and saw HG's shoulders relax. HG always could read Myka like a book. Myka considered hugging her for a moment, but she remembered the last time, how hard it was to let go, and she could see the residents of the B B watching them through the windows.
Myka walked past HG, turned with her hand on the door when HG didn't follow her.
"Are you coming in?" Myka asked.
"I asked you for coffee," HG said quietly. "Just you, because I want you to myself. Abby invited me to dinner, so I will come in later."
"Did she say who was cooking?" Myka asked warily.
"Agent Jinks," HG reassured her.
"Ok," Myka said, more to herself than to HG. "Ok. Where are we going for coffee?" Myka asked, and HG walked over to her car, opened the passenger door with that mysterious smile Myka never could resist. Myka let herself be ushered into the car, watched HG carefully as she drove them in silence not to town but instead to a national park.
"I made it myself," HG said. "Well, I purchased the coffee plants," she admitted. "But the rest of it - the picking and roasting and grinding - " HG cut herself off and pulled a picnic basket from the trunk, along with a blanket. She set off down the trail, expecting Myka to follow her, and pulled up next to a table with a view of the mountains nearby.
"This isn't what I pictured when you asked me for coffee," Myka admitted, sitting at a picnic table. HG sat across from her, pulled a flask from the basket. She pulled out some home made cookies, and Myka didn't like sweet foods that weren't Twizzlers, but she knew what these cookies were and she felt her mouth watering. HG rummaged through the basket with a curse, finally looking up at Myka, looking embarrassed.
"I forgot the mugs," HG said. "Forgive me, please," HG said huskily as she handed over the flask, and Myka was too well-versed in HG to believe that the apology that was extended was limited to the lack of mugs. She had no problem sharing food or even drinks with HG; HG wasn't like Claudia, she wouldn't dose it with sugar. She wasn't like Pete; she wouldn't hog the majority of it. She wasn't like Jinks; she wouldn't be fussy about germs and wiping the mouthpiece after every sip. She wasn't like Abby; she wouldn't be nervous about taking more than her share and keep offering it to Myka. She wasn't like Artie; she wouldn't absentmindedly eat the entire thing and then look devastated when he realised. The intimacy of the expectation of a shared flask of coffee stoked her anger again; how dare she presume, after two years, that they were good enough friends to share a coffee.
Myka took a sip and her mouth was filled with bitter delight, much like her heart. She handed back the flask, took a cookie and watched as HG placed her mouth on the lip a little too casually for it to be an accident that her lips covered the exact same spot Myka's had. HG looked down at the flask, setting it on the table. She took a deep breath before she looked up at Myka.
"Are you well, darling?" HG asked and Myka took the coffee, took another sip. She wanted to say no, she wanted to tell HG that the last two years with no word from HG while her books achieved more and more success were near intolerable, but she was aware from HG's meek demeanor that HG already knew, was already shamed by her silence.
"Why?" Myka asked finally, handing the flask back over, taking a cookie. She snapped it in half; as she'd suspected it was perfect and gooey and somehow still warm, although Myka had no idea how HG could have managed that.
"I thought, I foolishly thought -" Myka looked up from the cookie as HG's voice broke, surprised at the tears on the face she had missed for so long. Myka got to her feet, slid in next to HG so she could slip an arm around her. HG made a high whine of protest before balling her fist in Myka's shirt, pulling Myka close so she could bury her face in Myka's neck.
HG felt so small and fragile in Myka's arms. Myka knew that wasn't the case; she'd seen HG take down men much larger than her, but the vulnerability and the way she curled into Myka made her feel smaller, like something Myka needed to protect. It took a long time for HG to settle, but when she did and finally pulled away from Myka's body, Myka found that it hadn't taken long enough. HG sipped at the coffee, eyes everted, pushed the cookies toward Myka.
"I foolishly thought I could be friends with you," HG said finally. "I thought - gods, I thought I could be your friend, and then..."
"And then..." Myka echoed.
"I dated Nate because he was uncomplicated, but you were right, Myka. The Warehouse has a pull on me. A tether. I thought it was you who reminded me of the Warehouse, but really, it's the Warehouse that reminds me of you." HG choked out a laugh, still not meeting Myka's eyes. "I broke up with him, but when I called you..."
"I told you I was seeing Pete. That's been over for a long time, HG. I tried to tell you but you never answered my calls."
"I'm a terrible person, Myka. I couldn't bear to hear your happiness if I wasn't the cause of it." HG pulled a handkerchief from her vest and wiped at her face, then gently she ran it across the indent of Myka's collarbone, where her tears had gathered. She took a deep breath. "If you must know, I fell for you the first time you pulled a gun on me. But you never indicated that you might... So I... And then..."
"And then," Myka echoed again, grimly. "You could have avoided a lot of bother by just telling me," Myka said, her voice small. "It's not like I'm used to... to having to express an interest. I thought we were friends. I thought that's all you wanted."
"I didn't think I could have what I wanted," HG said quietly. "I still don't." She tucked her handkerchief away, dug in the basket. "This is for you," HG said hurriedly. "I don't know if you've read any of the others, but this one is for you." HG pushed a hardcover book across the table.
"I'm a bookseller's daughter, of course I've read them all," Myka said, caressing the cover. "Mostly because they were yours," she admitted. "Xin Lee reminds me of Claudia."
"She is based on her, yes," HG said, watching Myka as she opened the book. She followed Myka's eyes as they read each word of the dedication, then slip over to the inscription. "But Ruby is based on you," HG whispered. Myka turned to her, started trying to say something but instead gave up and pressed her mouth against HG's, whose lips meet her own eagerly, as though they'd been waiting at least as long as Myka's for this moment. HG tasted like coffee and history and all the love Myka had ever felt.
Myka pulled away finally, needing to breathe. One of HG's hands was trapped in Myka's vest, her bracelet caught on a button at the back of her waist, but she didn't mind as HG apologised and untangled herself.
"I thought you'd know," HG chuckled against Myka's cheek. "Ah! There we go." Myka felt HG's hand freeing itself, then wrapping tighter around Myka.
"Even Pete figured it out," Myka said jokingly, feeling HG freeze against her. "It was an artifact," Myka breathed. "I swear it. I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you."
"We should have had coffee a long time ago, shouldn't we?" HG asked, and Myka nodded against her.
"Or save the world," Myka whispered into HG's hair.
Notes:
I wrote this all in one go on Tumblr after work and updated it a little to make it a real fic.
