Allison's Bedroom
Allison's POV
Instead of going straight to my bedroom, I went to my parents' bedroom and searched for my bedroom key which I found in my mom's drawer, and then I went to my bedroom and locked myself in.
But just as I was about to open the envelope, a knock on my door came before the knocker tried to open the door.
"Leave me alone!" I shouted.
"Why would I leave my granddaughter all alone when she's clearly suffering?" Gerard asked from the other side.
I didn't respond. I wondered, instead, if my parents sent him to speak with me, and maybe find out what Scott left me.
I wouldn't put it past them, and Gerard wasn't the kind of man who was a shoulder to cry on, and something about him put me on edge.
"I want to be left alone," I said after a moment when Gerard didn't say anything.
"What you want and need are two different things, especially when you're dealing with a broken heart," He responded. "I know how much you loved Scott, and..."
I didn't hear anything after the words 'loved Scott'.
Gerard's use of past tense in his address of my feelings concerning Scott had the opposite effect to the one he intended.
I blocked him out and focused on the envelope on my bed, and held in a sob at the sight of it, but I couldn't hold in my tears.
"I'm sorry, Allison. We - we didn't find him alive."
It became harder to hold in the sob as the deputy's words replayed in my head.
I was haunted by my last interaction with Scott the entire week, especially his last words to me.
"Stay out of the way!"
I couldn't hold on the sob anymore, and it made way for more.
Here were Scott's new last words to me, sealed inside an envelope, and I was afraid to open it and read them.
I was a mess when I knew Scott was missing, and now that I knew that he was... Now that he was... Not missing anymore, I was lost.
The hope that he would show up was nowhere to be found, only despair and a strange mix of hollowness and numbness remained, along with anger, hugging my heart without warmth.
I made the mistake of giving in to the pressure my da - the man I was supposed to call my dad - exerted on me emotionally and psychologically.
But worse than that, I didn't take Scott's worry concerning my mo - the woman I was supposed to call my mom - as serious as I should have, I didn't even question Scott's strange suggestions until it was too late, until after Matt kissed me.
That kiss just felt wrong.
I thought that Scott would get jealous seeing me with Matt, but he was too busy executing a plan to stop Jackson from killing more people, and then we argued, and he got angry at me for my betrayal and left.
A part of me was mad at him for not telling me about his plan, another was mad at him for not getting jealous and protective over me, and the other was just furious that he actually suggested that I kiss some boy I hardly knew and didn't like.
All I wanted was for him to be jealous too.
Although I pretended it didn't bother me, seeing Erica flirt with Scott got to me, especially her comments because I knew our relationship faced a lot of obstacles.
But he was too worried about other things, very important things, his own life, for one, and other people's lives, and I hated that I loved him even more for that because he was living proof that my family's views on werewolves was wrong.
Werewolves weren't mindless animals out to kill everyone, and Scott wasn't an animal.
Well, he was kind of part animal, but he was my kind of part animal to love with all my heart, even if he couldn't adapt fast enough to multitask important things, like being jealous, and protective, of me and making, and executing, plans to stop Jackson and his master and save lives, I didn't blame him for that, though, I was struggling too.
Why couldn't the world just give us a mome-no, more than a moment of peace to adjust to everything and just live our lives?
Why couldn't my parents just accept that I loved Scott McCall and nothing was going to change that?
Why did Scott die when he only wanted to be normal and be with me?
"Argh!" I suddenly found myself screaming in frustration.
I really hated Peter Hale for taking away Scott's chance to live a normal life. I hated Derek for lying to Scott about a cure and then taking the so-called cure away from Scott by killing Peter. And I hated my family for doing everything they could to separate Scott and me.
And maybe, just maybe, a part of me also hated that Scott didn't go Peter on all the people who stood in our way, maybe if he did, he would still be alive.
A part of me really wished Scott didn't give a damn about what people said, well, other than me, and just put them all in their places with extreme prejudice because I didn't care if Scott was human or werewolf, I loved him and wanted anything that let me be with him, as I told him.
The logical part of my brain dared to wonder if my thoughts were a result of going a week without seeing Scott and doing things I was sure my parents didn't want to think about us doing.
Looking at the envelope that held Scott's last words through teary eyes, I acknowledged that absence made the heart grow fonder, but I was already head over heels in love with Scott McCall before he went missing.
Absence, in his case, though, made me feel dead inside.
Through the obstacles that we faced, all I saw was us still together in the future, and now that he was dead, I couldn't see anything, and maybe that's why I also took a bottle of my mother's sleeping pills when I went to get my key.
I couldn't live without Scott, especially when I felt it deep in my soul that my family, my mother, had something to do with his death.
"Allison!" Gerard called still on the other side of the door. "Are you alright in there?"
Ah, my scream.
"I would be if you leave me alone!" I answered, with a lie, because I was never going to be alright without Scott.
Scott. I needed to see him, I needed to see his body even the thought on having him being reduced to 'a body' made me angry.
He was more than a body, he was my everything, and no one seemed to understand that but me.
"She wants to be left alone," I heard my father say from the other side, probably addressing Gerard. "Let her be."
"Why didn't you listen to me?" Gerard asked.
"Listen to you about what?" My father inquired for clarification, confused, as was I.
"About how passionate they were," Gerard answered, sounding disappointed. "I taught you better than this, Christopher. When I asked you how you knew if they weren't as passionate as Romeo and Juliet, I expected you to understand.
There's nothing more passionate than a forbidden love, except young love. When you combine forbidden love and young love, you get two people who can barely hide their relationship, and Allison and Scott could barely hide their love for one another during the dinner, and you didn't see it because you didn't want to see it.
If you didn't forbid their relationship, Allison wouldn't be suffering all alone in there. She would have someone to support her, her family! Now, she can't share her grief and trust her own family to understand what it didn't want to understand, and I don't blame her."
Gerard left my father, and me, with those words.
