What was love? The question fizzled on Egon's mind for the past few days. He knew that it existed in the world. It was one of those things where people instinctively know it when they feel it but Egon wasn't sure whether or not he felt it towards certain people. He knew that he felt it towards his parents and his brother but he had known them for his entire life. At no point did he have an "ah-ha" moment where his feelings of familial love turned on. It was there from the beginning for the simple reason that he needed them for survival for various reasons. He felt care and comradery towards his coworkers but he wasn't sure if that was love, either. He felt affection towards Janine, enough to engage in intimate physical contact with her, but how much of that was lust, which Egon was told was different from love? Sexual relations aside, he liked her and didn't want anything bad to happen to her. How close was that to love?

He may not have known as much about love but he did know enough about the real world to know that love at first sight was bullshit that was drummed up by novelists and Hollywood writers. Perhaps loving your child at first site was bullshit as well, at least for broken people like him. He had to admit that this was one of the reasons why he questioned his paternity toward Casey. Perhaps instead of being given an entire tree, he was given a seed that he had to nurture. The love was there, it just had to grow.

Egon sat in Janine's kitchen. Janine leaned against the counter with her legs crossed. Egon looked at the Felix the Cat clock as its pupils and tail moved back and forth with each passing second. He didn't even like that clock and yet he couldn't stop staring at it.

"What are you looking at my clock for?" asked Janine. "You've got someplace to be?"

"Oh, nothing," said Egon, "I guess I'm just nervous. I want to be here but I'm nervous."

"Oh, don't be. You're going to do great."

"So… babies. What are they like?"

Janine had to think for a bit before answering his question.

"Hmm… Oh! I have the perfect analogy. Did you and a friend ever go to CBGB on a weekend night when you were younger and your friend got so drunk, I mean SO DRUNK that he ended up screaming in your face and puking all over his shirt? And then you had to take him home, get him out of his clothes, get him cleaned up and then tuck him into bed so that he could sleep off his hangover? Yeah, having a baby is like that except the person you do that for is smaller and you don't get to see up-and-coming punk rock bands."

"Uh… yeah," said Egon, "I don't think we had the same friends or hobbies. Although, for what it's worth, I have been to a rock club when I was in high school."

"Oh? Which one?"

"It was an after-school gathering of geology enthusiasts."

The fascination suddenly drained from Janine's face. "Oh. Were the people there screaming at each other and puking all over themselves?"

"I can say with confident recollection that they were not."

"Well, then this is going to be new to you, ol' buddy, ol pal! Now let's head to the TV room, shall we?"

When Egon entered the TV room, he saw a tastefully-decorated area with framed posters from rock concerts that Janine had been to, as well as framed pictures of flowers. Two couches were arranged in an L position and in front of them was Casey, who was seated diagonally in his bouncy infant seat. The seat was on top of a blanket that was sprawled on the floor and covered in brightly-colored toys. This included wooden blocks, some plastic keys and a tug-along toy consisting of a blue elephant, a yellow giraffe and a green rhino, all of which were strung together and had little wheels instead of legs.

Egon had to admit, the child was more expressive and curious than he was just six weeks ago. Egon also noticed this during the times that Casey visited the firehouse. It was like a spark ignited in Casey that made him want to interact with the world rather than ignore it. Casey's eyes were dead set on Egon, yet another big person in his life, although this big person would become a big part of his life from this point forward.

"Look who it is, Case," said Janine, "It's Daddy!"

"Hello, Casey," said Egon.

As expected, Casey didn't say anything.

Janine signaled for Egon to sit on the floor in order to get to the baby's level. Egon grunted as he got into the correct position. Janine rearranged her glasses as Egon looked at her with anticipation.

"So, our first lesson should be the easiest," said Janine, "We're going to entertain the baby. Babies are simple creatures that are entertained by anything, whether that's peekaboo or a fly that enters the room or somebody hitting somebody else over the head with something."

"You're not going to do that to me, will you?" asked Egon.

Janine laughed. "No, of course not! I was thinking that we would focus on singing today. There are lots of fun, little songs that you can sing to Casey."

Egon looked at Casey, who was watching the two adults as if he were a little king expecting entertainment out of a jester.

"Okay…" said Egon, "You go first."

Janine cleared her throat and started singing while doing the appropriate hand jesters:

Little Bunny Foo-Foo

Hopping through the forest

Scooping up some field mice

And bopping them on the head

"If I may interject," said Egon.

"What is it?" asked Janine.

"I've read about the members of Family Leporidae and they are normally peaceful creatures that do not capture and torture field mice."

"Seriously, Egon? It's just a dumb song for kids. It's not meant to be taken seriously."

"Well, I don't believe in delivering misinformation to my child. The news media does that enough already."

"All right, how about an educational song, like Old McDonald?"

"Sure, why not? I'm familiar enough with that song."

Janine started singing:

Old McDonald had a farm

E-I-E-I-O

And on that farm, he had a cow

E-I-E-I-O

With a moo-moo here

And a moo-moo there

Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a-

"Why is the cow mooing so much?" asked Egon, "Is it distressed? Is there a predator nearby?"

"I thought you said you were familiar with this song," said Janine.

"I am. I've just never really thought about it before."

"There you go again, overthinking things. Can't you just turn off your brain for a little while?"

"I would but that would require hitting me upside the head."

"Hmm… funny you should mention that…" Janine then grabbed a toy mallet and slowly raised it towards Egon.

"Which I told you not to do!"

Casey darted his eyes back and forth as each big person said something. He cooed and waved his little arms. He was almost as entertained by his parents' petty arguing as he would be with any children's song.

"Okay, since you don't want that and I don't want to let any flies into the room, let's think of more songs to sing," said Janine, "Hmm… how many Raffi songs do you know?"

"What's a Raffi?" asked Egon.

Janine sighed and rolled her eyes. "All right, Mister Smart Guy. Think of a song - any song that's age-appropriate – and sing it."

Amazingly, Egon didn't have to think as hard. He didn't know what provoked it, but a song popped up in his head, a certain song by Tom Lehrer that he had memorized since childhood.

Egon cleared his throat:

There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium

And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium

And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium

And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium

Egon sang his song and, all the while, Casey became mesmerized by what he was listening to. The baby's smile grew ever bigger.

As soon as Egon went through every element mentioned in the song, he was starting to run out of breath. Thankfully, there was just one more verse:

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard

And there may be many others but they haven't been discovered

Casey giggled and kicked his legs. There was something about that song he liked and, at his age, it couldn't have been the subject matter. Either way, Egon was tickled by how he shared at least one thing in common with the child besides his DNA: His taste in music.

"Casey approves!" said Janine. "I hope you're prepared to sing that song many more times because you're going to get sick of it long before he does."

Good, thought Egon. So far, he was nailing it at this fatherhood thing. But there was more to fatherhood than just entertaining the child.

The next lesson took place in the kitchen. Janine stood over the counter and carefully measured the formula powder for Casey's next meal. Egon listened to her instructions as he held Casey's warm, squishy, always-moving body. The excited child was eager to move his limbs and Egon had a hard time keeping him still.

"Not too little, not too much," said Janine, "And you've got to mix it well."

Unfortunately, Casey had not learned patience in his three short months in this world, so he started to fuss. During the previous times that Egon visited Janine, he would hand Casey back to her whenever this happened. But this time around, that wouldn't be as acceptable. After all, Egon wasn't a mere house guest anymore. With that said, he still started panicking.

"Can you please hurry up, Janine," he asked.

"Egon, when he gets like this, you rock and shush him," said Janine. "Believe me, if you can handle Peter when he's being mouthy and disagreeable, you can handle your own son when he's that way."

Egon rocked Casey back and forth as gently as possible. "Shhh…"

Casey calmed down a bit but still gave Egon the puppy-dog-begging-for-food look. Egon patted Casey on the head, which the child appeared to like based on the tension leaving his little muscles.

"Okay… soup's on!" said Janine as she shook up the bottle.

Egon sat on one of the kitchen chairs and gave Casey his bottle. The baby wasted no time in suckling. He insisted on gripping the bottle with both hands even though Egon was the one holding it.

"Wow, I've never seen him take to the bottle that fast," said Janine. "Lately, I've been weening him and it has been A SLOG. Like, I get it, Casey. You love my boobs. But the bartender reserves the right to cut you off."

Egon continued to look at the feeding child.

"He's awfully ravenous," he said. "Have you been feeding him enough?"

"Yes I have," said Janine, "He's just a growing kid."

Janine rested a towel on Egon's shoulder.

"What is this for?" he asked.

"For burping," said Janine.

Oh, yes. Babies needed to be burped, didn't they?

Soon, Casey started to hiccup as he fed, though this didn't stop him from eating. As he greedily sucked down the formula, the hiccups became more numerous.

Egon laughed. Janine, in turn, couldn't help but smile and clasp her hands at Egon's amusement.

"Slow down," said Egon, "Try to savor it."

"You should burp him now just in case," said Janine.

Egon put down the bottle and rested Casey against his shoulder. He patted the baby's back, thinking of his hand like it was a PKE meter going through a haunted location, except instead of a ghost, it was looking for gas bubbles.

"There's got to be something in here somewhere," said Egon.

Casey let out a burp, which seemed to clear up the diaphragmic spasms. After Egon was sure that the hiccups were gone, he put Casey back into the appropriate position in his arms and continued the feeding.

Once every drop of formula was sucked from the bottle, Egon set it on the table and rested Casey against his shoulder once more. The patting soon brought up an even bigger burp from the infant. However, from the sound of it, there was more than just air that was brought up. Egon held up Casey to find frothy, white spit-up coming from the baby's lips and dripping down his chin. Some of it got on Egon's pants. Egon looked at Janine, who was looking intently at Egon to see how he would react to this.

"Hmm," he mused, "It reminds me of ectoplasm. You're not going to be a ghost for many, many years, little one. There's no need to rush." Egon didn't expect to be tickled by this messy moment and yet he was.

Janine burst out laughing.

"Oh my god!" she said, "If only the guys could see you now!"

Egon was fascinated by things that were small and simple, including any single-celled organism that he could look at under a microscope. But Casey was different from any one of the teeming millions of bacteria or spores that were in a petri dish. There was only one Casey. There were millions of babies in the world but there was something special about him. Egon's rational mind was at a loss as to what it was. Unlike other scientific mysteries, he was satisfied with not knowing the answer. He just felt happy in the moment.

"Yes," said Egon, "If only."