Trust

The distinct monotone sound of a heart monitor nearby disrupted Jun's deep sleep, and she soon awoke while blinking a few times to get acclimated to the oversaturation of sterile white around her. Despite never recovering in one, it didn't take long for her to conclude that she was pent up in a hospital. Professional bandaging took place of where his bloodied, mangled coat once clung to Jun, with a deep red spot in the center of them and a wire connecting to the steadily beating machine.

That wasn't what surprised her. What did, to Jun's dismay, was that her friend Hawks was nowhere to be found. At least, he was her friend. To think he was around her only to get her to join the League. Jun's heart threatened to shatter at the notion. A glass vase of red and pink camellia flowers adorned the nearby end table. Silently she studied the droplets of water dripping from the fresh petals, succumbed to her own thoughts.

Just outside her window, Hawks perched from afar, the outline of his figure only barely visible in the awakening sun. His softly glowing eyes lowered in guilt upon watching Jun absorb her surroundings helplessly while sighing despondently, clearly disappointed that she was once again alone.

Hawks so hopelessly wanted to be there with her, to be the first thing Jun saw when she woke up. But truth be told, the usually keen and poised pro hero was downright scared. Terrified by how she would react upon seeing him with a clearer mind. Since witnessing him like that at the hideout. Feral. Like an animal. Hawks couldn't stand the notion of Jun looking back in pure fear of him. He vowed never to allow her to see that side of him again.

He wasn't ready to face her. His mind was teeming with a million conflicting thoughts and feelings per second. He wanted to hold Jun, to assure her that they were okay, and everything was fine between them. He wanted to snap and scold her for being an idiot and not reading the damn room to play along. And yet, the more Hawks thought about it, the more he felt his heart melt into that now-familiar warmth that'd bless him whenever he was with Jun. At that recognition, Hawks' entire tense demeanor eased, his stiff and stubby wings releasing pressure as bitter wind nipped at the scuffs on his arms. He shouldn't be afraid anymore. He hoped Jun was strong enough to not bend so feebly.

The crimson and pink camellias were the center of Jun's attention in the otherwise barren room. Whether they were there before her or were meant for someone else, she wasn't sure. In the opposite direction, a chilly wind blew into the room from the window, gently caressing her hair from the side, and she blinked in silence, speaking up without removing her stubborn gaze off the vase.

"You're one of them, huh."

There was no answer, but Jun knew of his presence. The protective yet somber aura radiating off Hawks as he stood next to the open window, his developing feathers gently brushing in the harsh breeze. No smile adorned his lips; his expression refused to spare any emotion other than stoic.

Jun didn't have to look at him to know his intentions – his unusual hushed demeanor was telling enough.

"Is that why you're here? To bring me there again?" The pure white linen sheets scrunched tightly between her balled-up fists. "That was your plan all along, wasn't it." She ended more as a statement than a question.

Silence. The methodical beeping of the machinery was the only noise to accompany Jun's equally flavorless voice.

"I don't blame you, you know." She breathed and removed her gaze from the flowers to peer in the corner near the window, but not directly looking at him. "Thinking you hung around me for the fun of it. I should've known better."

"Still always jumping to conclusions," she heard him say. "That's like you."

Jun scoffed. "Don't pretend like you really know me."

"Figured you'd say that, but you're not out of the woods either," he said in a scathing tone. "I shouldn't have to tell you what the hell went wrong back there."

"What went wrong?" she spat, brows creasing in irritation. "How in the hell was that ever going to turn out anything other than wrong?"

Hawks raised both hands, the way they moved as he spoke told of his tested patience. "Look, sometimes you need to understand the big picture, and that involves putting some trust in your friends. I need you to trust that I know what I'm doing, and I need you to trust me!"

"So you just expect me to turn to a villain with you, just like that? Just 'cause we're friends? I have to listen to you all the time, because that's what friends do, right?" Jun slammed her fists against her lap, the incessant beeping of the monitor hooked to her chest matched the rising franticity in her tone.

"Is that how this friend thing is supposed to work?!"

He merely stared. His hands sunk back to his sides in silence. The way his shoulders slouched radiated defeat.

Stagnant, intolerable, silence.

"…you were supposed to be different, Hawks. Special. I thought you - I – I thought I could-"

The last words lodged in Jun's throat, and she couldn't force herself to bring it out. The voice in her head, driven by anger and disgust, demanded her to take it back and keep lashing, but the imposing weight of guilt kept it at bay, refusing to believe that Hawks had not so innocent intentions for her.

The moment that void of rage in Jun's eyes dissipated, she sighed, her palm rubbing lazily at the loosened tears.

Meanwhile, Hawks had spotted it in an instant. The longer he listened to the physical embodiment of Jun's heartbreak, the more he felt it. His scolding face softened, releasing his own, more subtle sigh. Deep down, he knew.

No matter what he told her.

No matter what she was to him.

He had a place in Jun's heart.

…and her in his.

"Right." Hawks' lids dropped slightly under his new visors, the rest of his face remaining untouched while in serious contemplation. "It should've been clearer to me back there. I of all people should've figured you wouldn't be swayed by villains so easily. I'm happy for you, Jun. Your heart's in the right place."

Jun's accusing gaze softened before going downcasted, and she allowed a slow, deep sigh to pass through her body. "You're so sure you understand me, and yet…" She looked back at Hawks straight in the eye, the beeping on the monitor sharply increasing in frequency.

"I don't even know who you are."

"…"

"I thought I knew, Hawks, but I don't even know what I am to you anymore."

Hawks' nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply. "Clearly, you've got questions, but are any of them asking why I was hanging around the League?"

Jun looked back at him; her eyes slightly widened in curiosity. It was her turn to listen. As if acting on their own volition, small scarlet feathers wrapped around the glass vase beside Jun as he spoke, guiding them to the sink to refresh the water and petals before setting it mindfully back in place.

"You knew they were after you. I did, too." Hawks' head dipped slightly forward before pinching his visors with his thumb curling on its underside to pull them down to his unsmiling lips as intense amber eyes stared back into hers intently. "You want to know what you are to me? I was finding a way to get you out of there, Jun."

It was then, it clicked. That was why he was acting so strangely. It just had to be!

"R-really?" A string of hope beamed in Jun's voice, more than she was meaning to. "So you're - that means –"

Hawks' slim grin morphed into a short chuckle upon hearing the elevated beeping of the monitor, indicating her racing heart, now with more joyful purpose. Sighing, Jun's sight went downcasted again, her face in deep contemplation before blinking once to peer back up at him, weary, but with restored faith. She started chuckling with him out of a mix of elation and nerves, pressing her hand to her head in a dumbfounded yet relieved facepalm. "I should've figured it out then, huh? Shit. H-Hawks, listen, I-"

Half grinning, he lifted one hand in a 'stop' gesture toward her. "Bygones. Now care to explain how the League managed to stumble into you?" Hawks hid his intentions behind casual inquiry, while internally he was brainstorming a surefire way of keeping Jun out of their way for good this time.

"It was, I guess kinda my fault. I ran into that Spinner guy when I was running from these people with cameras and I-"

"Whoa, whoa, hold it," Hawks interjected, his palm tapping against the tips of his other hand, making a cut motion. "You aren't talking about the press, are you?"

"The press? Like news guys? Yeah, I think so."

Hawks smacked his forehead roughly and dragged his hand downward over his face in dread. "Ahahaahhh… shit. Almost forgot about them for a sec. How many of 'em?"

"Uh, I wanna say six."

"And they said?"

"Well, one of them asked for my name and for some reason if I lived on the North of South side of the city. Weird, right?"

Hawks' eyes perked up sharply at the news before closing them and dipping his head forward slightly, inhaling deeply to compose himself. "Alright, you gotta listen to me. Don't ever, under any circumstances, tell these people anything about you." He shot a finger gun in Jun's direction. "Especially your name and location. That's all those guys need to track you down, trust me."

Hawks watched the color drain from Jun's face, desperately trying to comprehend the gravity of the situation. Calmly, he cupped his chin and began idly stroking it between his thumb and forefinger, concealing his mouth while looking to the side in thought.

"Are – are you saying these guys know where I live?!"

"Honestly? I won't sugarcoat it. Yeah, probably."

"Shit." Jun's eyes darted in different directions in panic, trying to figure out what to do next. "What – what do I do?!"

"Move in with me."

"What?!"

"It's not that I think you can't handle yourself, but the press can be, we'll say, persistent." He chuckled, a sore arm reaching to rub the back of his neck. "At least this way we can make sure you'll be safe."

Hawks couldn't be too upset. It was to be expected that Jun wouldn't know how to handle journalists, but that didn't stop him from flinching internally at his sporadic, and quite frankly unprecedented proposal. He was usually a clever, more tactical planner than that, but this was the smartest bet, both for him and for her. The most efficient way to keep Jun safe, he thought, was to provide her proximity and protection under the safety of his own home. Away from villains and the paparazzi. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about this possibility before as a backup plan, but now that it had come to that, the sheer prospect of it was enough for the already painful beating in his chest to hasten.

Hawks knew it was risky, but he did so under the pretense of protecting her - and his mission - from the press. Since a small, independent group was aware of her presence on the south side, and she was now aware of his affiliation with the League, it was imperative to keep Jun safely guarded so others don't find and pressure her into spilling his deeply controlled secret. That was the reason. It was purely for business purposes, Hawks convinced himself.

And nothing more.

"I..." Jun mumbled out of pure nerves. The prospect of living with someone – living with Hawks – shot waves of fear and excitement up and down her spine. "I… need to think about it."

Hawks nodded stiffly. "That's fair." He then deflected the conversation down another path, to ease his admittedly pounding heart. "But while I'm thinking of it, what was the reason – the real reason, why Spinner freaked out back there," he urged Jun, already knowing the answer.

Hawks read the guilty look on her face and knew she couldn't blame it on a mere head injury.

"Alright, fine. I admit, I may have insulted that guy to his face when no one else was looking. B-but you should've seen what he did to get me there! I mean, what would you do, r-right?"

Hawks easily read Jun's guilt-ridden expression. It was clear to him that she was genuinely remorseful for snapping. Even if her words said one thing, her tone and body language said another. Perhaps she was a tad bit unreasonable, and she knew it.

He smirked and let out a breathy chuckle. "Someone like you, who woulda thought you were the reckless type? If only I knew when I signed up for this."

Jun giggled, ignoring the stinging in her chest. "Should've read the fine print. Now you're stuck with me."

Hawks graced Jun with a gorgeous smile and an amused exhale through his nose. "Y'know, while we're at it, often when people try to escape a building, they're supposed to run down the stairs, not up them!"

At that, both their gentle grins faded as a heavy silence loomed back into the room. That painfully reminded the both of them. The reason why Jun fled.

"So, do you… wanna talk about that…?"

"Sorry you had to see that side of me," Hawks voiced numbly, filling in the blanks. "I'm hopin' we can move past it."

"Only as long as you forget what you saw, um… here." Meekly, Jun gestured to her bandaged chest while adamantly avoiding the hero's gaze. "But I get why you did it. At the same time, I don't want you to forget about – you know, for what you did. Thank you."

At that, Hawks' shoulders perked up and he blinked twice in surprise. He wasn't sure if she had recalled what he had to do – what he had to see – to potentially save Jun's life. A stinging blush rose from his cheeks and he chuckled unfittingly with an arm rubbing the back of his neck, "H'yeah, don't mention it. And it's a deal."

"There, that's all we have to say, birdie. No need to worry about it. After all, it'll take more than that to send me packing," she winked.

"What's got you in such an open mood, chickadee?" he mused in delight, a hand landing on his hip.

It was Jun's turn to pause and think. "I… I don't know. But you know what? I'm… relieved."

"Kid, what-" Hawks took one concerned step forward as Jun disconnected the wires and heeded herself out of bed, legs wobbling and knees bucking with the effort to seek steady footing. Her bare feet pattered softly against the sheet vinyl flooring while approaching him sheepishly.

Her hands held the other hopefully over her chest, prompting the hero to blink wide-eyed in surprise as Jun hummed, "I should've known to trust you back there. Because when I'm with you, it just, it feels right, you know?" A deep flush of red stained her cheeks as her steps urged forward with each word. "Like I can be myself."

"H-hey, hey - where's this comin' from babybird?"

"I know I probably shouldn't be this honest with you, but I was so scared, just now. Afraid that I lost you, that what we had wasn't real. I'm so relieved, because…"

Gentle hands reached out and held the slim curve of Hawks' waist, making sure to leave a gap between their bodies before pressing her forehead lightly against his chest in a mix of nerves and appreciation.

"You're… the best thing that's ever happened to me."

In the back of Jun's mind, she noted just how small and frail his body felt without the comforting presence of his wings overshadowing the entirety of his slim form, but the protective aura radiating off Hawks' body remained strong. She also couldn't help but notice how his body felt tense to the touch and she could feel the unsteady beat of his heart against her head.

Caught completely off guard, Hawks' arm raised in an unfamiliar gesture, its destination unknown. It settled on Jun's back, rubbing it in shallow circles as a subtle indicator of returning her embrace, all while a wave of tenderness rushed over his whole body. It was unlike anything he had ever felt for someone, and it simultaneously triggered both a powerful sense of feeling at his core and a stark awareness that he was far more fragile and vulnerable in that moment than he had ever been before.

Whether it was a combination of Jun's bold new expression of affection or the sudden surge of vulnerability in her words, they both were rendered utterly dumbfounded at the overwhelming sensations, and Jun let go of her hold on each other to douse the consuming heat in their chests.

"Sorry. That was uncalled for." Meekly, Jun stood on her tiptoes to pick out some stray twigs tangled in his hair, all while his eyes were wide, his body stiffly rooted in place, the redness invading his cheeks deepening.

"I'm – going back to bed," she said with blaringly vibrant cheeks before pausing to look back at the hero, a borderline pleading look in her eyes. "What are you… gonna do now?"

"I… have somewhere to be in the morning, so I got a few hours," he stated while rubbing at the new feeling of his cheeks burning before pulling up a chair next to Jun's bed. "But I'll stay - at least until you fall asleep, sound good?"

It warmed Jun's heart that he somehow knew that she wanted him to stay with her. With her heart reassured that Hawks was still her close friend, Jun soon found brief respite in the throes of sleep.


"…."

"…hmmph…"

"…."

"…damn…"

Distant mumbles roused Jun back to consciousness, peeking one eye in the direction of the noise. The clouds outside were brighter than before, and Hawks was still situated nearby, restless and squirming, his wingless back facing her.

Telling by the stiffness of his neck and shoulders, Hawks was silently enduring his own pain. Tiny, muddy feathers tangled with one another, as few and ineffective as they were. Trailing her gaze, Jun watched Hawks reach around to begin stroking and brushing at them gently with his fingers, preening out the old and torn quills from his back. Even then his movements were rigid – his actions looked punishing.

"I could help," her sleepy voice broke the restless silence.

Jun's sudden announcement caused the hero to pause and turn back around. "Oh, didn't mean to wake you, dove," he voiced softly, hastily flicking the withered feathers from his fingers, as if he were almost embarrassed by something. "Get some rest, you don't gotta worry about me." His tired grin only fueled her further.

"It's okay if you don't want me to touch them like this. That's all you need to say, okay?"

"Yeah, of course," he said, his fingers fidgeting with one of the discarded feathers.

"Could I… watch?"

Hawks paused to think about it for a moment. His hand reached back and hovered in place without looking at Jun. He granted her a faint, vulnerable nod, and returned to his work.

"…"

Watching Hawks preen and groom a part of himself that only he could understand, studying the way his fingers brushed and caught delicately into the plumes to realign them – it was so calming, in more ways than one. Inside she knew it was a covert sign of bonding. Letting her observe him like this, in his moment of vulnerability. It was a sign of trust. It was his subtle way of inviting her to be part of his intimacy.

"Hawks…" Jun mumbled half-consciously, wanting to tell him one last thing before succumbing to sleep. "If you get me some boxes…"

Her eyes shut, heart full of content.

"I'll start packing my things."