Darkness, Darkness

Scritch-scratch. Splish-splash. Clutch's little feet made a lot of noise as he scurried through the drippy-damp of the Oubliette off tunnel. Occasionally, an icy droplet of water would fall from the low ceiling to land on his pointed nose or ping against his little helmet. That was bad enough. It was the very worst when stray droplets landed on the back of his neck and began to trickle icy trails down beneath his collar, making him want to squirm. Too bad the Hands dropped him in that particular tunnel. Clutch didn't like drippy-damp... The only good thing was that he wasn't far from the girl. He couldn't be. He could smell that funny human smell of hers. Not a bad smell...just strange.

"Clutch is friend," he recited aloud to himself as he scurried, rehearsing for his upcoming performance and trying to sound as convincing as possible. "Clutch thinks king is very mean, nasty, b-bad guy. K-k-king is-" the little goblin faltered and clapped a hand over his mouth in dismay. "Oh, no, no, no! Clutch so very, very bad... If Clutch's mama heard him say such nasty-bad things..." Every good goblin loved and adored their king...the fact that their adoration went hand in hand with a paralyzing fear barely even registered. Saying such nasty-bad things about his beloved Majesty turned Clutch's little goblin stomach and left an awful taste in his mouth. "You gots ta do it, Clutch... His Majesty gived you a job to do..."

"You must tell her how awful you think I am," the king had said. "If you just pretend to hate me, Lara will trust you immediately." All he had to do was play pretend. Like that time he and Pinch-pin had pretended to be dragons soaring through the air when they leapt from the roof of Pinch-pin's old Granny's house. That had been a lot of fun... The bumps, bruises, and busted noses from their crash landing hadn't been so fun, but goblins were fast healers. "Clutch is good at playing pretend..." he said. "Clutch can do it! For His Majesty!" He stopped to proudly salute the darkness, before scurrying on his way.

After a few dozen yards, Clutch paused at a fork in the tunnel, sniffed the air, and carried on down the right hand path. He couldn't have been scuttling for more than half a minute before he heard a sound that stopped him in his tracks. He waited for the quiet echoes of his footsteps to die out and held his breath, straining to hear the sound again. There. It was very faint. Very gently reverberating through the darkness... Music. Voice music. Not the raucous drunken grunts and squeaks that the goblins produced when they sang, but smooth, summery sounds...like the king always made. Almost a lullaby, but not quite... Clutch could hear a lot of things in this voice music, things that made him sad and happy at the same time. Scared and brave. The little goblin shook his head in attempt to clear it. He just didn't like feeling so many different things at once. It always made him dizzy and confused, and just then he had a job to do. He nosed the air again, and continued toward the Lara smell. The voice music persisted, growing steadily clearer and more distracting with every step. Who'd wanna be song-singin' down here? He knew that those cave gnome clans liked to sing while they worked, but their voices were either low and gravelly or high and squeaky. And besides, there weren't any of them around. Cave gnomes had a very cave gnome scent and all Clutch could smell was the Lara girl.

Before long, another smell began to tickle his nostrils. The smell of burning cloth and oil. The smell of a torch. The little goblin frowned and scurried all the faster. Yard by yard the smells grew stronger, the singing grew louder, and Clutch began to notice glimmers of yellow firelight dancing and reflecting against the damp walls of the off tunnel. And then he found a main passage. The gentle singing and smells of girl and fire were stronger than ever there, and the yellow light burned clearly. Clutch ducked low and inched his way forward, carefully poking his nose around the edge of the tunnel opening. As he did so he had to stifle a gasp.

There was the Lara girl. She wasn't curled in a heap on the floor. She wasn't crying or shaking in fear. She was walking right down the middle of the passage, her steps careful but steady. In one hand she carried a burning torch, in the other a piece of something like paper, and she still had that sword on her back. Most surprising of all, she was the one making the voice music. She was making voice music and walking strong and didn't look frightened at all.

Clutch retreated a few steps and pressed his back to the wall of the off tunnel, eyes wide yellow orbs in the darkness and little chest heaving in panic. She wasn't supposed to do that. She was supposed to be super-scared right now! If Majesty saw this, he would think Clutch was a liar. She wasn't supposed to do that! Calm down, Clutchy...he thought to himself. Girl still don't know the way out. Just remember...wait til she gets close to Way Out...then lead her a-shtray. You's good at playin' pretend, Clutchy. You have to do this, for Majesty...

Clutch peered into the main passageway again, waited until the Lara girl was a good distance ahead, and began to follow her, doing his very best to keep quiet as a mouse and remain unseen.

—Roughly Ten Minutes Earlier—

Okay... Okay... This isn't so bad, Lara. My footsteps echoed lightly against the walls of the Oubliette, melding gently with the flickering torchlight. That was the third off tunnel... Two more. And then a right turn. Not so bad. Much to my surprise, I was fairing somewhat better than I thought I would after the Unders and I had parted ways. I had expected to get no more than fifty yards, become lost, and find myself reduced to a babbling mess before half an hour was out. Thankfully, this had yet to happen. The route that G'vorrin had drawn up for me was almost too easy to follow, and the torch did help considerably to keep my nyctophobia at bay. It's amazing, the difference that can be made with a little bit of light. Though light still wasn't just enough...

Those first few minutes on my own were a bit difficult. That familiar sense of loneliness and deprivation began to rear its ugly head within me once more, and I felt as though I alone existed in my blessed ring of torchlight. Just me...and the darkness. The Darkness. That great looming, living thing lying in wait just beyond the edges of my haven. My monster under the bed. My patient and persistent nightmare. Ever present and ever silent, following me through my life like a phantom, tethered to me by my fear. And I was just so tired of it. I was so tired of feeling weak and helpless, like some stupid little girl. Enough was enough. The thought stopped me dead in my tracks. If enough is enough, Lara, then why haven't you done anything about it? Why does this still have so much power over you?

"Easy," I muttered bitterly. "Because I am a weak, frightened little girl. And all my life I've done nothing but play pretend."

You are only weak if you say you are... If you want to make a change, do it.

"Easy for you to say. You sound like you've been watching too much Oprah, and-ohmyGod, I'm schizophrenic. As if I didn't have enough to worry about."

Exactly! Why are you wasting time talking to yourself when you should be focused on rescuing the kids? Come on, Lara! It's time to crush this demon of yours and get back in business.

I was right, of course. I usually am, so there was really no point in arguing. This needed to happen immediately if I was to succeed. I breathed deeply and raised my eyes to the darkness, staring directly into the heart of my oldest enemy. If I listened carefully, I could almost hear it breathing, a great and subtle rise and fall that only added to my strange belief that the darkness was indeed alive. And if it is alive... I thought. Then it can also be tamed. Not in the way that most people sought to tame the dark, by banishing it with a mere flick of a switch or spark of a match. No. Light just wasn't enough in this situation. It wasn't enough for me. To me the Darkness was alive, and needed to be treated as such. And how best to calm a living creature, Lara? How best in this situation? Easy. Just as I would any living thing... By staying calm...and by speaking gently. Or...perhaps better in this situation...by singing.

Almost as soon as I reached this conclusion, a song floated effortlessly to the fore of my mind. An old favorite of my grandad's, one he would sing especially for me. I could hear him so clearly, playing those haunting Celtic chords on his old guitar, singing soft and low in that lovely Irish lilt of his. A small smile pulled at the corners of my lips at the memory. Oh, yes... This was the perfect song. Grandad chose it for me for a reason...it was a song composed directly to the darkness.

"Darkness, darkness

Be my pillow

Take my hand

And let me sleep..."

I sang softly, gently, allowing the song consume my focus. And then I began to take careful steps forward.

"In the coolness of your shadow...

In the silence of your deep..."

I know how lame it must sound. But with each step, I gained a little more confidence. With each verse, I gained a little more strength.

"Darkness, darkness

Hide my yearning

For the things

That cannot be..."

If I did as the song suggested, if I viewed the Darkness as ancient, benevolent, and wise... If I dared to view the Darkness as a friend and not an all consuming evil, just as my sweet old grandfather advised... Well, what point would I have in being afraid?

"Keep my mind from constant turning...

Toward the things I cannot see..."

I smiled and walked on, gleefully imagining the look on the Goblin King's face when I marched through those castle gates.


Author's Note: Greetings all! As you can see, I have finally returned from my long hiatus. I do apologize for my absence... Unfortunately, it was due to circumstances beyond my control. But, I am here now and I shall do my best to remain so!

So. Yes. No Jareth in this one, I'm afraid... Darn it. And I agree that it was a bit short and a bit...lame. Frankly, I don't like it very much and I apologize for putting you through it. My own disappointment aside, however, I find that I did draw some satisfaction from the idea of Lara's Celtic grandfather and the special relationship they share. Perhaps I will make some more room for him in future chapters... Anyway, there will be more and better to come, you'll see.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my commenters for such lovely reviews. Your feedback is most appreciated and your comments genuinely brightened my day. I do hope that this story brings you some enjoyment.

And thank you to my wonderful followers. All of you! I do hope you keep reading...