My Fears, My Lies
Upon settling into Hawks' bed alone one night, Jun absorbed the surroundings of his room. Like the rest of his house, no furnishings decorated the room aside from bits of ear piercings on the dresser and hoodies hanging messily from the open closet. She couldn't help but feel dispirited from her friend's overwhelmingly busy schedule that he couldn't even find the time or energy to make his house feel like a home.
Man, empathy sucked.
With a sigh, Jun rolled over in the direction of his nightstand, where a vibrantly vermillion color caught the corner of her eye. A handmade picture frame of the two of them together adorned the otherwise desolate side table, directly next to where he slept… which was more than likely not often, but still. Her heart soared at the sight, being happy to make it the last thing she saw before drifting to sleep.
For normal people, the methods of waking up in the morning were plentiful, maybe even peaceful. Some woke to the sound of an alarm, others to the gentle coos of the morning doves. How Jun had learned to envy them. Instead, she had the luxury of being awoken by the grating sensations of feathers assaulting her face. A pesky feather tickling at Jun roused her to consciousness, and she groggily swiped at it while flipping the pillow over her head to escape its merciless attack. The door swung open moments after.
"Rise and shine! Heh, sorry, I need something in here and I didn't wanna scare you. Figured I'd send a feather in as a warning."
"Do you really need something this early?"
"It's noon, dove."
"Well excuse me, it's just that some people aren't wired by store-bought coffee every day."
"Yeah, maybe 'cause some people have things to do and dreams to achieve," he quipped, his eyes shut with an obnoxiously sarcastic thumbs-up, ending with an annoyed pillow thrown at his face.
In a lot of ways, things remained the same. Hawks was gone most of the time, leaving Jun by herself. While home alone she had nothing to do but to check her one social media account Hawks had insisted to make for her, with the only page she even bothered to follow being his own platform. He had just uploaded a new video within the hour – a short clip of him voicing over some popular song, one with a steady beat that his flow nailing every quick verse. It all ended with him and his signature 'heyooo!' and dumbfounded but amused Jun said to herself out loud, shaking her head, "The things this guy does on his breaks."
At least he was finding ways to keep his spirits up. Lucky him.
Other than that one time she and Hawks were watching something dumb on TV, he smacked her shoulder just a tad too hard to get her attention at some funny scene, his cackling lips stuffed to the brim with snacks. Other than that, Jun knew he'd never intentionally hurt her. And yet, he may have unintentionally been doing so, because unbeknownst to him, watching him fly to and from his hero work, sharing scarce snippets of his life on patrol online, it was enthralling to see him like that. And yet, the more Jun watched that famous star she called a friend, the more envious she became. Envious of him having the choice to leave whenever he pleased.
What the hell am I even thinking? Do I actually want to go out? That damn bird brain's rubbing off on me.
The realization was a slow process – so slow in fact that Jun convinced herself to let these feelings of jealously fly under her radar. Who cared if he was able to come and go as he pleased? That he had the option to go out for frozen chicken or ice cream, rather than relying on someone else to grab it for him…
Life was wonderful living with Hawks. Only after a while, Jun became strangely unsettled about it. Hawks had started to take notice of her shift in demeanor, too. It was as if the boisterous hero's obnoxious need to be out and about was starting to rub off on her, bringing out confidence she didn't realize she had. He began to catch sight of the way Jun stared longingly out the window, as if she wanted to leave for a change, but was afraid and unable because of the threats. He felt equally responsible and terrible for freeing Jun from her troubled environment, only to lock her back in another cage.
It wasn't until one day when he came home late one night and had joyously caught Jun dancing, red-handed. With a flushed face she immediately receded back into his room, pretending like it never happened, but it helped spark a wonderful idea…
"You wanna take me to what?!" Calling to the winged hero, Jun stood uncomfortably in the living room as he waltzed in soon after throwing on his dark grey overcoat and leaving it sloppily unbuttoned to reveal an unprofessional pullover sweatshirt underneath, a second set of visors in hand. They appeared a tad smaller than his usual pair.
"It's just a small meetup outside of town, dove. With you being in and me flying out all day, I just wanna have some fun for once! But only if I have a little company - you gotta be my plus one!"
"Why in the ever-loving heck would you want to do that? I thought we were supposed to keep this on the down low. This doesn't sound like it'll go too well."
"You saying that you don't wanna go? I can respect that, you know." Hawks shrugged. "Just say the words, and we can forget I ever mentioned it."
"I… didn't say I would mind going… I'm just um, nervous, I guess? I mean, what if people see you with me and they don't leave you alone, or the League or press finds us, or-"
"Hahaha, don't – don't worry, alright? I got it all under control. Just do the opposite of what you normally do and don't go looking for trouble this time. We'll be just fine, I gotcha covered." He winked and waited impatiently for a response, and excitedly placed the visors into Jun's open palm upon receiving a quiet nod in return. He had been looking for the excuse to finally give them to her. "Try 'em on?"
Adjusting the sides, she couldn't help but notice how they fit suspiciously well. She squinted and blinked a few times to get accustomed to the foreign object shielding her eyes before diverting her gaze to look up at the grinning hero. Surprisingly they allowed for clear vision despite being yellow tinted. "Do they look awesome?"
"Awe-inspiring, dove."
Hawks' arms then reached out to pluck Jun from her spot with zero hesitation. With her taking up both of his arms, he then delivered a hefty kick to open the window taking up much of his living room wall, just as a strong gust of wind from the dark and chilly winter evening blew back their hair. A bundle of his feathers darted to snatch up Jun's coat and scarf along with one of his own and trailed behind him, right before casually hopping out his window, with Jun's screaming fading out in the descent.
It was a surprise for Hawks to bring her somewhere that didn't directly involve food. He insisted to himself that the plan was to scratch Jun's unusual itch to go out and do something so she would hopefully get it all out of her system and stay indoors for a while, but it was hard to push aside his other admittedly stronger intent to take Jun out as one last 'hurrah' before he had to seriously crack down on the League's activities. Hawks knew he was about to spend significantly less time with her. He wanted to do something special and out of the norm, especially for her.
The burst of wind surrounded Jun mid-flight as it always had, but this evening trip was different. With her own set of visors, she was able to truly absorb the smell and sight of what Hawks had the pleasure in viewing every day and night. There was something mesmerizing about the fresh, cool air sliding across Jun's face as he soared with her nestled in his arms. Her eyes were wide open, no longer bound by the laws of the winds cutting her sight and forcing them to close.
With newfound vision and resolve, Jun and Hawks peered at the city together, almost starstruck, at the scenery below. Gorgeous pink and yellow lights illuminated the evening sky, and likewise added a healthy glow to each of their smiling faces. The display was momentarily concealed when Hawks changed course and soared straight through a cloud, its mist trailed behind his wings as they cut through it. With Jun's arms held securely to her chest, one had the courage to reach out and comb through the mist, and despite being hidden, the stars were still shining brightly in her eyes. Upon spotting that beautiful little detail within them, Hawks was graced with a gorgeous smile and shimmering light in his own.
He soon approached an area of town with no working lights. It looked run down and abandoned, resembling Jun's old neighborhood. Dozens of stray feathers separated from Hawks as his feet settled onto the ground, likely designating each of them to scout the area to ensure no passerby will stumble into either of them.
"This is the fancy meeting?"
"Nah, but you're right about the fancy part. We can't have you wearing your everyday outfit to something so formal, right? You know, unless you want to, it doesn't bother me. But I'm figuring it bothers you deep down, yeah?"
To her chagrin, he was right. Jun did care. And somehow, he knew it.
"I've heard talks of a dress shop around here somewhere," he noted while bringing one hand up to his forehead to scout the area.
"A fancy dress shop? In this dump?"
"Heh, dump? Then you should feel right at home, chickadee – and it's always important to shop local – there!" With one hand he pointed to the shop in question, the elegant gowns on display clearly indicated he was right. At the same time, his feathers had begun to shiver. Someone was approaching. No, two – four people. Hurriedly he rushed Jun inside before she could protest, and the door slammed shut to lock her inside, simultaneously ringing the bell and ratting out her presence.
It was disappointing to find that he wouldn't – or couldn't come with her, but it couldn't be helped. Might as well get it over with.
Still, Jun's body was wired with nerves, completely out of her element in the unfamiliar environment. She found herself standing there in the entryway for a moment, clearly lost, and apprehensive of turning around - until she sensed a pair of eyes on her. The shop's owner, pissed off to have a customer mere minutes before closing, was eyeing Jun up and down in annoyance. Slowly Jun's head turned in an uncomfortable double take without directly looking at them, but still passing them an awkward and silent head nod, acknowledging their presence before setting off for a dress without a single word.
Easy music played from the dress shop as she searched through dozens of styles, intimidated by each single one.
When was the last time I even wore one of these?
One gown in particular had caught her eye, tucked away in the corner and out of plain view. It was by itself, marked down in price on clearance and was clearly an acquired taste, but something about it appealed to Jun. Plus, it happened to be in her favorite color. Approaching the register gave Jun a full view to the window outside, and she watched from a distance as Hawks' lips pursed to whistle along with the tune and bobbed his head happily. Watching that amazing dork brought a much-needed sense of comfort. He seemed so carefree…
Jun always thought that she'd rather die than act so nonchalant in public like that, even if no one was around to see it. She admired his uncanny ability to blatantly disregard social norms, and to do it so unapologetically.
The owner spitefully swiped the card Hawks loaned Jun to pay as she continued to watch through the window as a small crowd of people excitedly approached and fawned over the winged hero, his large scarlet feathers making him impossible to miss. The hero happily and readily greeted each of them and fetched a pen out of his pocket to autograph a few bags and T-shirts. Jun's original clothes were bagged up as he casually chatted with them, his ungloved hand waving about enthusiastically as he spoke, reading his lips poorly and making out the word 'patrol.' It was admirable how he was so laid back about social interactions but did so in his own unique, charming style.
As his fans closed their eyes in glee, Hawks turned slightly to glance at Jun for a single second, seeing that she was finishing up, before turning back to the crowd and muttering something, They nodded happily and waved him goodbye with blown kisses.
The lights to the shop and music switched off the moment Jun stepped foot outside; the bell's chime on the door reverberated in the air as she stood in place, one hand rubbing up and down her arm awkwardly.
Upon seeing Jun in such formal wear, Hawks flipped the visors up from his eyes, holding them up to his forehead and blinked a handful of times, as if he were unsure if what he was seeing was real. The colorful feathers of his wings fluffed and puffed up involuntarily at the sight.
"R-ready?" she asked, teeth chattering from the cold.
Hawks keenly took note of the goosebumps riddling her exposed limbs, and his feathers were quick to gift her coat and dark red scarf, matching the color of his own scarf that was a present graciously offered by her.
"Do I have to go in this female equivalent of a monkey suit?"
"Hey, you picked it, didn't'chu?"
"Did I say that I don't love it?"
Hawks laughed as he wrapped one arm behind Jun and tucked it securely around her waist, his wing curling around her to shield from the chilling winds. His next goal was in a building only a few blocks away. With no human around for miles, it was deemed safe to make the trip on foot.
As the snow crunched under their feet, Jun couldn't resist the urge to break the silence. "So, did you have fun with all your loving, adoring fans? I saw you putting on a show back there," she teased.
"Hm, show? You tryin' to embarrass me? Heh, I see what you're gettin' at."
His words perked Jun up, prompting her to divert her gaze from the street to him. "You… you do?"
"Jun."
Hearing her name falling from his lips so sincerely while being held and pressed so closely to him sent a powerful shiver up Jun's spine.
"I know you." He blinked, his gentle eyes peering down to return her gaze. "And I know you're capable of more than you're letting on. I'm tellin' ya, the moment you stop caring about what others think about you, it's downright liberating, dove," Hawks stated rather neutrally, looking back up to find his destination in view. He was one to talk. Even though he wanted to believe what he said, it was still difficult taking his own advice. He could only hope that Jun would be stronger than him and accept it.
Walking up the stairs was difficult in the matching heels Jun was inclined to buy, but she insisted that she could do it on her own, all while Hawks hovered in mid-air, legs crossed, his palm propping up his chin, enjoying the show. Struggling up the last step revealed a cat climbing up and perching on the nearby pedestal, also watching the show. Gasping at the unexpected guest, Jun bent slightly forward, balancing herself by her hands in front of the animal. "Hi there!" she beamed excitedly. "How are you?"
The cat stared at Jun, unamused, as if she was the dumbest thing it's ever seen, but she didn't notice. She was too distracted by how outstretched her dorky smile was from the thrill of being leisurely out and about for a change.
Hawks observed Jun's big performance from the sidelines, hands tucking into his pockets, as she innocently stuck out a lone finger for the cat to sniff at while her eyes closed in pure glee. He found a proud smile of his own slip effortlessly onto his face with an amicable gleam in his eyes in a blend of amusement and pride from seeing her true colors starting to bud open to the public and continued her one-way conversation, not caring if anyone were to laugh.
Heh… there she is.
At the ball absolutely no one was there – the lights were low, bits of finger food, napkins, and discarded cups littered the floor. It appeared like there was a gathering here.
"Uh, the party looks over. Did you get the time wrong, seeds-for-brains?"
"Hah, whadd'ya mean? We're right on time!"
It was then, it struck her. Turned out that blond asshole planned to take her out after everyone had already mingled and left.
Hawks was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He made it one of his new, cherished goals to guide Jun, to experience with her, but it was also imperative to protect her identity from vultures like the press, or worse, his enemies. This way, he figured, he could have his cake and eat it, too.
A record for playing soft music stood in the background of the large hall, primarily for ambiance and background noise more so than an actual facilitator of dance. While Jun was distracted idly kicking around a napkin on the floor, Hawks made a beeline to the sound system, hitting the play button while flipping through the various tracks. The very first song was an extravagant orchestra, blasting powerfully – and unexpectedly – through the large hall, prompting Jun to cup and shield her ears in annoyance.
"Heh, whoops," was all that bird brain could muster upon cranking it down to a manageable volume, his feathers ruffled and disturbed from the blaring vibrations. He then skipped through a bunch of plain, boring, 'proper' songs until landing on one that was perfect.
"Oh, way to go, why not just beckon the entire city over while you're at – um, Hawks? Wh-what are you-" Jun's words were cut off as a familiar and genial hand extended toward her.
"How 'bout a dance, right here?"
"Wha? Are you crazy? Does this look like a place that people would dance – okay, well, I guess it is but that's beside the point! What if – what if someone walks in?"
"Relax, dove. No one's in the building. Remember what I said about not caring, alright? Just let go." He whispered softer, "Just for a minute."
Jun opened her mouth to counterpoint, but if the walk over to this place was any indication, he was right.
"How do I keep letting you rope me into this shit with you."
"Look, take it from me. Once you stop caring about what others think, it's amazingly freeing. It's like finally getting to spread your wings to fly."
She looked on with a spark of inspiration in her eyes before letting out a nervous chuckle. "Well, I did always want wings…"
Hawks smirked triumphantly. "C'mon, have some fun with me!"
Jun's next words caught in her throat as Hawks slouched off the dark grey winter jacket and peeled off his sweatshirt to reveal a light blue dress shirt. It was wrinkled and looked like it had been tossed in the back of his closet, untouched for centuries. The front was shamelessly unbuttoned, and the collar popped out, displaying his lean muscle and collarbone.
His shirt was clearly a size too small for him. The muscles in his upper arms caused the sleeves to bulge and stretch taut, a warning sign of tearing at any moment at even the smallest flex. It felt like Jun was rooted in place as he approached her, casually yet charmingly, taking her hands rather clumsily into his as the next track began.
"Y'know, I wasn't feelin' it at first, but I can get behind this beat!" He took charge as one leg stepped forward, waiting as Jun followed and lagged behind. He could easily read the nerves in her step.
"Heh, relax, babybird," he cooed. "Just don't take your eyes off me even for a second."
Hawks initiated the dance and Jun followed his lead. It started with the two of them swaying side to side slowly at arms' length in tune to the pace of the song, all while Jun's senses clouded with the piercing thoughts of the anyone walking in at that very moment. The potential stares and whispers of those around her. Hawks took note of the sweat beginning to bead on her face, as if he could directly read the anxiousness pouring off her body, and with an empathetic expression he said, "I'm here. Just keep looking at me, okay?"
His words had the desired effect, and subconsciously Jun began leaning closer and closer toward each other until her elbows bent with her palms splaying out on his chest while his was on her waist. She felt her insecurities and anxieties melt away as the melody went on, and in their place Jun felt a spur of energy and enthusiasm erupt from deep within her. A beautiful smile graced her lips at the newfound freedom and excitement of being there in the moment with Hawks, and he was all-too eager to mirror her jovial expression with a gorgeous smile of his own. His steps and sways began to get more complex and she struggled to keep up with his quickening pace, but she found joy in every second of it.
It was not very graceful. Not in the slightest.
If there were any other guests, their gestures together would be entirely unorthodox. Everyone would stare; some in bewilderment, others in jealousy, but Jun wouldn't have paid any mind. It was just her and him in that moment. Together.
By the climax of the song, Hawks had twirled Jun, spun her around, and pressed her close to him countless times, and each instance their bodies pressed together was like a breath of life coursing directly to their lungs. In the midst of twirling her around, Hawks outstretched his arm to its fullest length as Jun fell and bent backward, her arm stretched out behind her enthusiastically while her other hand clasped trustingly around his, the only lifeline she was holding onto in that very moment before pulling her back to press her chest against his with a distinct insistence this time. Both of them smiled and giggled in the unfamiliar glow of their intimate dance.
Suddenly Jun felt herself being hoisted up as Hawks' arms wrapped strongly around her. He then gave one great beat of his wings and hovered in place while swaying their bodies in the air as the two of them laughed together. But the lighthearted buoyance in the air began to falter as their expressions eased together into more serious ones. As his spinning slowed to that of a careful waltz in the air, gentle eyes went half-lidded, both his and her own, as their foreheads leaned forward and pressed together tenderly, gazes still locked within each other through the mesmerizing dance. It was just the two of them in that moment.
A smile no longer adorned their faces, but Hawks' powerfully affectionate expression sparked a wave of electricity throughout the both of them. It told Jun –
I value you.
I care for you.
I am so happy to have you in my life.
He expressed this by the way his forehead pressed affectionately against hers and the low hum that cooed from deep within his chest.
The song that had facilitated the coupling then ended almost abruptly, and yet his hold on Jun didn't falter. Hawks slowly descended back to the dancefloor, foreheads still connected tenderly, before his eyes opened to watch her once more.
His soothing gaze… his gentle expression…
…it looked… loving.
As he hovered down gently, his grip still secured tightly around Jun's hips and waist. Immediately she was brought to her senses upon her feet finally making contact with the ground.
Whoops.
In a pathetic attempt to drown out the tension, Jun's hands found their way to Hawks' neck, awkwardly folding in the collar to adjust it for him. All while her sights glued stubbornly to the floor, murmuring with burning cheeks, "There. You don't look half bad."
"R-right back at ya," he said, but something about his voice was clearly off.
Did he… did he just - stutter?
The two of them exchanged fake chuckles for the moment, with Jun crossing her arms and Hawks' hand reaching to scratch at the back of his head. "Y'know, don't think I ever told you this, but – smiling looks good on you."
Jun nodded, offering Hawks a grin of acknowledgment at the surprise compliment as two feathers swooped by the nearby table to grab her what little left there was for a drink, the cup dangling in front of her – an offering to appease the uneasy room, which she accepted without even a peep.
While positioned downward, Jun caught an unsightly wrinkle in her own dress. "Shoot, could you hold this for me super quick?"
While holding out her drink toward Hawks, Jun felt something making warm, gentle contact with her other hand. It took a few seconds to register that her once free hand was now occupied, fitting into Hawks' own hand with no hesitation. Stupefied, her head jerked in his direction to find him with a completely straight face, the light blush invading his cheeks giving away his true intentions. He looked back at Jun with pursed lips, his pupils small, his brows raised shamelessly as he spoke up neutrally, "What."
"Th-the drink, Hawks."
"Ah, gotcha."
In that moment, a booming crash reverberated through the area from outside, immediately catching the hero's attention. Puffy wings vibrated in alertness, and without tearing his adept gaze from the window, Hawks charged toward it and exclaimed, "Won't be long."
"But wait, you still have my… drink," Jun huffed, but there were clearly more pressing matters needing tending to. Ah, well. It was enough to dissipate the suffocating tension between the two, at least. It was about time for a much-needed bathroom break anyway.
The restroom was gorgeous and rather gargantuan by Jun's standards, though it was noticeably colder than in the main hall – the slightly cracked open window barely registering in the back of her mind. With both hands fixing and fluffing her somewhat matted hair, a noise akin to feeble steps shuffling against the marble floor met with her ears. A sweet old lady, maybe only about 4 feet tall, hobbled out of one of the stalls and over to Jun. She didn't even notice her presence until she spoke up, jumping Jun in the process.
"My, my, don't you look all fancy. Is there somebody you are trying to impress in that getup?" she asked. The tone of her voice was overly sweet, to the point of sounding disingenuous.
"N-no! Well, yes, I guess that maybe I am?" Nervous eyes darted between the lady and herself in the mirror's reflection.
Why the hell is there a lady here? Isn't this place supposed to be empty?
"L-look, between you and me, I don't know what I'm doing with anything half the time," Jun muttered half-jokingly with an anxious crease in her eyebrows as her hands left her hair to clasp into the sides of the sink to lean on it.
"I see," the lady said almost ominously.
"…."
"…is it because of that feathery, dreamy hero?"
"Hm?" Jun said in mild surprise and stumbled over her words. "I… don't know what you're talking about. I'm – I'm here for business."
She watched in the mirror as the lady inspected Jun's formal wear, taking no time to pluck out a discarded red feather lodged in one of its creases. Bony fingers toyed with the feather, twirling it in silence as if she were contemplating something.
"…."
"So that's why you haven't accepted the League's invitation."
At that, Jun's body went completely rigid. Her breath hitched while looking at herself in the mirror. In Jun's reflection, that lady was clearly visible as she stood almost threateningly behind her.
"Hah! I'm just kidding, chill out already!" A clearly much younger voice and inflection replaced the lady's rickety tone as if a teenage girl had spoken instead.
Jun's eyes widened in shock as her once sweet face began to melt away, and her stature began to grow taller. Vaguely familiar blonde hair took place of the skin melting away, revealing Toga and her sly, disgustingly cunning and demented smile.
All the while Jun hadn't moved from that spot at the sink. Eyes wide, petrified, unable to remove her gaze from the entirely new and evil individual trying to strike up a conversation with her. At her unnervingly casual - and nude - appearance, the grip Jun had on the sink clenched tighter.
"Heyyy," she greeted, using the bloodied knife in her hand to wave at Jun.
"What the fuck?!"
"It was such a pain having to track you down," Toga scoffed, her eyebrow raised as her free hand dug lazily into her pocket in search of something. "I don't even get why they want you so bad. You're nothing special."
"G-good, I don't wanna be anything special. Now get out of here!"
"You really are no fun, but I figured that. So here."
Jun hesitated in reaching out toward the slip of paper between the villain's fingertips that she'd pulled from her pocket, but if it meant getting rid of her quicker, she quietly accepted it. On the slip was a scribble of numbers. A phone number.
"I was told to give that to you. When you finally figure yourself out, give me a ring."
Jun was practically shaking when stepping out of the bathroom, the paper slip tucked messily into her pocket. At the same time, the feathered silhouette of Hawks appeared on the balcony before he came crashing back through the window. His wings gave one great thrust to stop in place to land back down, kicking up a powerful gust of wind in the process. The collar to his shirt ruffled and popped back out; his upper sleeves gave way and tore up to his shoulders from exerting them, but still he held Jun's drink with one hand perfectly, not even spilling a drop. His professional hero persona eased upon spotting her near the bathroom entrance, trembling slightly.
"Yo. I've got your drink here. It's warm now, though, but I didn't want to throw out what wasn't mine. You alright?" He lifted an eyebrow, but he knew he didn't need to ask to be sure. He could see the uneasiness in her eyes and body language. Clearly, she was uncomfortable about something.
"H-Hawks," Jun addressed him formally, trying to sound as professional as possible in case anyone else had snuck inside. "Is there any chance that we could go home soon?"
Hawks blinked twice at the inquiry; his eyebrows raised in gentle surprise. He should've known an outing like this was too much for her, he internally scorned himself.
"Yeah, sure," he voiced neutrally to hide his surprise before stepping closer. His fingers curled protectively around Jun's wrist as his way of reassuring her while using his large scarlet wing to point toward to the two-story tall window overlooking the balcony. "Meet'cha there in just a sec, alright?"
While prancing away and trying not to trip over herself, Jun turned around just in time to watch as Hawks gladly scanned over the appetizer table where eager fingers then happily snatched up a half-eaten plate of finger food as he took a mouthful. He stood there, his cheek extended slightly, eyes closed, reveling in the throes of bliss over leftover snacks.
The sight prompted an amused, lopsided smile to invade Jun's face over that winged dork she was proud to call her friend. Though just as quickly as her smirk appeared, it vanished and was replaced with a worried scowl upon peering in the opposite direction of Hawks – to the bathrooms, the unplanned encounter with that Toga girl permeating her mind. Seconds later, Jun sensed a harsh tugging at her feet and, realizing too late, her scattered steps tangled up in the flowy ball gown. Down she went, gracelessly faceplanting with both arms splayed at each side of her head.
"Ow… d-damn it-…"
The disturbance in the vibrations of his wings evoked Hawks' attention as his body swiveled in the direction of the noise. Skewers were fit between his knuckles, his face stuffed with food with brows raised quizzically before scuffling over to check on her.
The powerful beat of Hawks' wings gave away his close proximity. "Don't laugh," Jun warned, the flush of embarrassment on her face was thankfully hidden by being pressed against the floor.
Her sad attempt of being threatening was what caused a healthy chuckle to breeze through that winged bastard.
"You wanna die today, bird?"
Disregarding the poor attempt at being menacing, Hawks bent down at his knees, balancing on his toes before offering a gentle hand, confident and unafraid, "Heh, here. Need some help?"
Jun began reaching for his hand to reciprocate his offer, but paused unknowingly, taken aback by really peering into the details of the hero's ungloved hand. They were all too often concealed away under his hero gettup, but she couldn't help but notice how… big his hands were in accordance to the rest of his lean form. So slim, yet so strong. Hers looked so tiny and delicate in comparison. His fingers wrapped around and enveloped the entirety of Jun's hand, encasing it in a staunchly reassuring and affectionate grip.
After lifting Jun to her feet, Hawks happily passed her a singular skewer, one he managed to refrain from devouring. "Heh, hey, saved this for you."
Pursing her lips, Jun stared at his meager peace offering while grumbling to herself, before easing into a grateful grin, accepting his 'gift' and her defeat. "Heh, thanks."
Again, Hawks ushered Jun toward the unconventional exit, this time with him by her side, with a firm grip around her waist.
"You could've shot some feathers my way, you know."
"Heh, sorry. Figured you could handle yourself for two seconds. My bad."
The stark chill in the air felt relieving on Jun's sweaty skin as the two of them glided home in silence. Eyes were shut in content, reflecting and reveling on the new experience with her friend. She had to admit, even with some hang-ups, it was pretty damn fun.
Still, it was unwise to push aside her encounter with a member from the League. It was dishonest, even. Unbeknownst to Jun, Hawks had been observing the uneasiness in her face, and with one hand clutching up the scrunched-up paper in her pocket, Jun had opened her mouth to speak, only for him to beat her to it.
"Hey, dove." The unusual sincerity in Hawks' tone called to her, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "To be serious for a sec, I know it's not my style to attend those things either, but thanks for coming along with me."
The tight grip on the paper loosened, distracted by other thoughts.
"You know Hawks, I'm glad we went." Jun chuckled breezily, unknowingly adopting the way Hawks would force a laugh when nervous. "But I was wondering… if that kind of stuff is out of your league, then… why even go?"
Caught off guard, Hawks' eyes widened for a fraction of a second before coming up with a distraction, responding without missing a beat, "Are you saying you didn't have a good time?"
"You know that's not the case. Be honest, Hawks. What was the plan here?"
Yet again, Jun had the hero utterly stumped. He was just so pleased that she was willing to go way out of her comfort zone and try something new with him. Truth be told, dancing was a new experience for him as well, and he unexpectedly had the time of his life, even though he couldn't quite pinpoint why. His mind insisted that it was for the sake of his mission, but his heart ached, feeling differently. Hawks flew in silence, deep in contemplation, playing a terrifying game of truth-or-lie. Fortunately for him, his home soon came into view, and he welcomed the opportunity to run away and hastily change the subject.
As he set Jun down on the balcony, Hawks's feathers pulled away the curtains and he rushed inside and into the darkened room. He tossed his visors hurriedly onto the couch, hoping that her memory would reset and forget the whole thing upon walking into their shared space.
"And while we're on the subject," Jun's voice broke through the curtains as she followed him inside with a noticeably more cautious pace, with Hawks flinching in the middle of the room, his back and wings facing her. "I want to know the real reason why you were late. Why you actively chose to miss the after party." The plush sound of her heels penetrating the rug caught in Hawks' sensitive feathers as she approached him slowly.
"You already know," he said apprehensively. "We need to keep you hidden. Your identity's your most valuable asset."
"I know we're supposed to keep hidden, but then why even go out in the first place?" Jun's fingers began playing with and pinching at the fabric of her dress. "I mean… the whole party… this dress? Like you said - someone like you, it doesn't make much sense, does it? What's going on with you?"
Silence. For once, he didn't know how to respond, as if he'd lost his ability to lie on the spot. Something about Jun made it so damn hard to turn around, look her in the eye, and lie straight through his teeth. One thing he could never lie about, however, was to say that him being downright protective of her was a gross understatement. But for reasons still unknown to him, it felt physically impossible to turn around and say it.
"You don't have to feel attacked, okay?" she said, finally reaching mere inches from his form. "I'm just confused, Hawks. And I want answers. You never had a problem bringing me out to lunch on the roof in broad daylight when we first met, and you must've known about all those threats, even then."
A gentle hand reached through the darkness to cup his shoulder, offering him a familiar, comforting touch.
"So… why now?"
"…"
"It's different now," he admitted. "It's – complicated."
The weight behind his voice matched the imposing weight in Jun's chest as Hawks gently brushed her hand off his shoulder. Instead of taking the hint and backing off, she doubled down, one hand grabbing insistently at his waist while the other landed again on his shoulder to turn him around to address her directly, only to meet more resistance.
"Hawks, look at me. Hawks!"
Silently he disobeyed, opting to jerk sharply out of her mounting grip and step further into the darkness before pausing moments later, enough for her hand to reach toward him one more time.
"Hawks-! What in the world has gotten into y-"
In one swift motion, Jun's hurt expression vanished. In its place her brows raised, mouth slightly agape, utterly taken aback. Her words lodged in her throat upon watching Hawks finally turn to face her. His head darted back to her, his cheeks shades darker, the high collar of his coat shielding the lower half of his face. Uneasy, almost confused eyes glowed intensely under the dimness of the night to gaze back at Jun in silence. Her outstretched hand visibly recoiled in shock at the pure essence of vulnerability in his expression. Her heart stopped at the pleading look in Hawks' eyes, as if he himself didn't have the answers she was seeking. As if he was incapable of comprehending it himself.
"Hawks… what's happening to you?"
His lids lowered further the longer she gawked at him, the subtle movement in his collar told that his mouth was open to speak. His eyes then pulled in a darting pattern over Jun's face, as if looking for more information about her than she had for him. For a moment, she could've sworn he found the response she was hunting for.
It should have been easy to express the feeling - those now deeply rooted emotions he felt back when he had almost lost her. But every piece of his life involving Jun was anything but simple.
He wanted to say it –
- but the words were dangerous.
A bright flash lit up his pocket and dissipated the darkness in the room, and he leaped on the opportunity to respond. Stepping by her, one foot levered himself up onto the balcony, balancing himself on the railing while overlooking the city, his wings spread wide and eager to begin. In any other instance he would have leapt off with a mighty jumpstart into action without a second thought, but just this once, he hesitated and looked back one last time.
Hawks offered Jun a simple, melancholic grin. A conflicting blend of affection and regret saturated his eyes before his wings acted on their own accord to guide him through the night sky. The draft from his launch blew gentle ruffles on the hem of her dress as she took a single, despondent step forward to watch him leave.
