Not long after my short reign over the Tokugawa Shogunate was I summoned to serve the very human that humiliated me. The human master of Chaldea, the commander of scores of servants at their beck and call. Now that I had arrived, that human had an important choice to make.
With me by their side, they were free to release their emotions as they pleased. To give in to the temptation of rest. All their pent-up rage, chained by their morality, could be freed from its cage. Their fears could be banished, the anguish forgotten. The hole in their heart could be filled, if only they would accept my love.
But that was the problem.
Love could never be forced on another... it had to be reciprocated. That was the foundation of which love and trust were founded upon. To force another to love you... it simply wouldn't be love.
And the master refused. Time and again, no matter what, the master turned me away. Even the love only I could give them, the love that none of the others would ever be able to provide... was denied. It was maddening.
They truly were fascinating. The master knew that the love I provided was not a genuine love. How could it be genuine if I had lost the ability to comprehend it? And yet despite that there was no truer love than my own. Instead, they proposed that they would help me find the meaning of love, so I may enjoy it all over again. It was a preposterous proposition.
I took their challenge, believing I would corrupt them long before such a farce could come to fruition.
...
The years I had spent with the master were the happiest I'd been in a long, painstakingly long time. It was a golden age, the highlight of everything I've ever experienced. A euphoric tune that I could dance to for countless millennia.
I would never admit that to anyone, ever.
The pain of the fires that haunt me, the burning hatred for those who found happiness... the master washed it all away. I didn't know what I had felt whenever I was near them, but I always felt light and warm as opposed to weighed down and burning.
Shiva's flames still licked at me, scorching my dreams just as they had to my soul. I could feel the trail left behind by the fire's burning tongues... The master was what allowed me to forget, sometimes.
There had come a time when I realized what this meant. I was not a fool.
Still, they had continued to refuse my advances. Said it wasn't time yet. I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt... I had my pride after all. The God of Love being denied? Such a notion was unheard of, once upon a time.
But the golden age had started to wane as the twilight hours of the master's life ticked away. Soon the master's sun shall set for eternity, and there will come a day where I won't see their eyes shine away the dark. Even if those eyes were accepting of this supposed inevitability.
How bothersome...
There wasn't any chance in hell that I would allow their soul to leave the mortal coil so easily. If there was one thing that was made clear throughout the years... it was that the master was mine, and mine alone. Not even death shall claim what was rightfully mine.
They had lived a long, human life, filled with adventure, and wonder and most of all pain. A kindred spirit, as their soul had burned against the harsh reality of the world, and of humanity.
Time had always been both the ally and enemy of mankind. Their fleeting lives, just a speck on the painting we called the universe. Forgotten about in the blink of an eye. Time had built them up, just as it had also withered them away.
Even the master cannot overcome time's endless march. Their soul, as bright as it was in their youth, dimmed ever so slightly. Such was the fate of every human. That didn't mean they weren't as beautiful, however. They were still the most magnificent star I had ever seen.
And I'd be damned if I allowed them to slip through my grasp. They were mine, and mine alone. Nothing shall take what was rightfully mine.
…
The master had served Chaldea for most of their life. Bringing peace to mankind. A peace they had never once felt. We've traversed innumerable worlds... innumerable timelines- destroyed them, too. People that we helped save, only to watch vanish into the ether as if they never existed. The tolls of such an endeavor weighed heavily on the master's mind.
When the fate of humanity was at stake, I had watched as the flame of their soul flickered and dimmed- I even cheered for the soul's extinguishment. Yet, no matter the circumstances, no matter the odds, the master's soul always roared back to life. Blinding all in its path. None could ever hope to stop them.
Not even I could hold a candle to it. Even now, as the master's life nears its end, their soul never extinguished. It carried on.
I whispered to them, in their darkest moments. I watched as they wept, for the lives they failed to save and the lives they had cut short. "It was for the greater good," I had said. "Let me help you," I had offered. "Cut your own heart out and offer it to me as I filled the hole in your chest with my love," was what I wanted to say.
They had refused to embrace me even at their lowest of lows. Never was I able to completely wash away their misery, to remove their despair, and spare them from the agony of their fate. They had refused my love, even when they needed it most.
What a bother...
Once, they had requested that I stay with them so they may speak their mind to me uninhibited. It was a strange occurrence, but perhaps the master felt that they could put their trust in me. To vent their frustrations, as one would to a friend or a trusted confidant. Their stipulation was that I would only remain "if I wanted to".
Truthfully, at the time I had no desire to stand by and listen to the master tell me of their woes. I wanted to make them forget everything, to corrupt their very being until they forgot the reason they even came to me in the first place. To lay them down to the floor, our faces close and our limbs tangled within a heated mess as we danced the night away. Instead of talking, our tongues would be intertwined as our saliva mixed together. Our sweat dripping to the floor, coalescing as we reached beyond our peaks. To have the master feast upon me, until only their ravenous desire to satiate themselves with my taste remained. To dive into me until nothing remained.
Not to relive their misery through a story. But instead, I remained if only to try and relish in their despair. It was the least I could do for gaining some form of trust.
Try... I did try. But I couldn't, for an unfathomable reason.
They had spoken of many things that night. Of the friends they had made, and consequently lost. Of the people who had to suffer for them to succeed. They talked about the what ifs, of how maybe there was a way to spare the separated timelines from crumbling once the work was completed.
Their vulnerability and weaknesses were displayed in front of me. Only a few words were needed to be said to break them; to carve out their soul and claim it as my own. To make them mine forever.
But I said nothing.
After they were done, they had thanked me for my time and left. Many things were said, but none of which was said came from me. I had nothing to give, for once.
Just the thought makes my skin crawl. An itch I failed to scratch. Truly, the master was a bothersome person.
Ah… If only…
The master never settled down with any of us. Chaldea, filled to the brim with men, women, and so much more... yet the master chose none. Alone they stood, with no partner to call their own. A testament to their willpower, I'm sure.
So many would happily offer themselves, to prostrate before the master as they groveled and begged for the warmth of their love. I've seen it a few times.
Animals. Every single one of them were animals. Chasing after the master as if they were a bone to chew on. A pity that they had surrounded themselves with so many who were so undeserving...
They knew nothing of what they sought after.
The nature of love and lust were nearly identical. Lust was the love of the flesh, of the material. It was the yearning desire of something... to taste the forbidden. It burned the skin as the heart raced to its blissful tune, pounding away at its cage within the chest. Every breath of lust came with it a shudder of ecstasy; to push ever higher to a greater height of pleasure. To bend and twist and squeeze; to pull and push and tease. It consumed one's mind in a wild frenzy, incapable of being satisfied until the animalistic release came.
The nature of love... it was warm. Whereas lust licked the flesh with fire, love warmed the spirit. Love was to hold and support, to give and receive. Quiet looks of fondness, the silent agreement of daily chores. To never be far behind, and to never stray too far forward. It was warm... so very, very warm, and so very full.
Which made it terrible, for what love left behind could only be cold and barren.
And with the master so close to death's door... I will not allow the world to go cold. If it took an arrow, then so be it. They shall be pierced. If they can be reasoned with... then I shall accept their love gleefully as it penetrates me. For I am a being who could only give love, and never receive it. And yet the master had given me the love I had always craved and was fated to be denied.
The question I had given the master when they had summoned me…
Who had more power: The one who gave love, or the one who received it? I had once thought… but no, love is of equal standing. It was not a give-and-take, but rather an equilibrium. One could never give love if there were none to receive it, just as none could ever receive love if there were none to give it.
Ah… so this is what it felt like. Truly, a remarkable gift. Worthy of a god.
The payment for such a gift was simple. I shall whisk them away from their inevitable demise, and we shall continue our adventure together as one. They shall always be with me, just as I shall always be with them. They are mine, and mine alone. Just as I am theirs, and theirs alone. We shall swim alongside each other as we float on the river of our love for an eternity.
Such was the fate of the one whom gained the favor of a troublesome god of love who hated everything. Or rather… hated almost everything.
