Not Afraid Anymore

Chapter 10: Let Go

The next morning Sakura rose from her bed and got dressed. She was needed at the hospital. Just because Sasuke was back, did not mean the world stopped revolving. Life goes on.

She took a swift glance in front of the mirror before heading out of her room to have a quick breakfast. As she took note of her appearance, she quickly clasped both hands to her cheeks as she saw how tired she looked this morning.

Ugh, I look terrible…I did not get much rest last night after everything that happened.

Sakura freaked out internally for a minute, furiously blushing as she recalled last night's events. She shook her head rapidly to snap herself out of it.

There is no time for that! Just pretend like nothing happened and treat him as usual…right…usual….

-Sigh-

She pulled herself together, straighten her figure as she stood before the door of her room and took a deep breath, then stepped out.

Sasuke was already awake, leaning on the balcony's rail as he looked at the people below going about their morning. A soft breeze caressed his hair, dark locks moving across his field of view.

He looked beautiful, Sakura thought.

Sasuke felt her presence but decided to pretend like she was not there. He could not bring himself at the moment to turn his glance towards her without picturing what he saw last night. Eventually he would have to acknowledge her, but for now, he'll just feign ignorance.

Much like Sasuke, Sakura decided to go about her morning silently. Things still felt awkward and she would rather remain at a distance, if that is even possible, while at home.

She took a sip of water and decided she would grab a bite to eat at the hospital's cafeteria. Sasuke was capable of feeding himself, she thought.

"See you later, Sasuke. I'm heading to the hospital." She said quickly, quietly, as she headed out, avoiding his gaze.

Sasuke looked back at her retreating figure, gaze lingering where she stood. The silence was deafening. He eventually turned his gaze back to the street. He guessed they were both on the same page as far as wanting to keep their interactions to a minimum, for now.


The day was long and busy for Sakura. If she could split herself into several clones like Naruto in order to accomplish more, she would, but her job required skill and concentration.

She leaned back on her chair as she looked at the stacks of paper, casefiles, and several cups of coffee. The responsibilities of a medical ninja were endless when you were the one left in charge. But Sakura, despite the many hours dedicated to the hospital, is proud of her accomplishments. She has made her own mark in Konoha.

Knock. Knock.

It was Shizune. She had a small apologetic smiled as she quickly stepped into Sakura's office.

"I'm really sorry for being late! Lady Tsunade had a little too much to drink and I had to drag her home…" Shizune explained to an amused Sakura.

"Don't worry about it, really. I know how stubborn she can be especially when drunk."

"Did I miss anything?" asked Shizune.

"Nope. Just another day at the hospital. Everything you need is here. I have put aside the files that still need to be reviewed and patients to be seen today."

"Go home, Sakura. I'll take over from here." Shizune said while approaching her desk and retrieving some of the files.

Sakura rose from her desk and cleaned up the space. Discarding the empty cups and tidying up the stacks of papers. One last act for the day.

Shizune still feeling guilty for showing up late came around and started ushering Sakura out of the office.

"Go. Go. I can handle it. Go rest!"

"Shizune!"

"Bye!" Shizune chimed happily as she pushed Sakura out and slammed the door shut.

Sakura smiled to herself, touched by her thoughtfulness.

Thank you.

I guess I'll head home. I wonder what Sasuke has been up to…


It as the evening. Sakura arrived home to a sleeping Sasuke. He laid on the couch, body relaxed, his face peaceful, a book at his side.

Sakura could not help but approach his sleeping figure and be fixated by the gentleness of his expression. He looked so innocent. But she knew better. His innocence was tainted, marred by his painful past. The atrocities he lived through and those he committed when he lost himself to the cursed of hatred had changed Sasuke forever. He was back but never the same.

Sakura's figure loomed over his sleeping form. She bent forward and her hand slowly began to reach for his face. She almost caressed his skin when his eyes suddenly shot opened and his quick hand took hold of hers. Sakura was startled by his reaction but knew better than to struggle, so she paused herself.

"Sakura."

His gazed lingered on her form. He was not upset, just surprised.

"I-I was just checking on you. Just checking if you had a temperature!" Sakura said nervously with an apologetic smile and a deep blush on her cheeks. She wanted to crawl under a rock. For the earth to swallow her whole. Why did she let herself get carried away? Again.

"Right…" Sasuke gave her a skeptical look and let go of her hand. He rose from the couch and leaned forward on his elbows, avoiding her gaze. He had not forgotten about last night. What her hands were doing to her…or what she was doing to herself. The image of her in the throes of passion flashed in his mind and he immediately shook his head, erasing the vision. He rose from the couch for a glass of water. He needed to cool down.

Sakura looked at his retreating form wondering if she had done it again. He seemed flustered for a minute there, she thought.

"How was your day?" Sakura asked, trying to change the subject.

"Uneventful. I went to the training grounds, then came back here and read a book. Not much to do when your status as a ninja is in limbo." Sasuke said casually as he took a sip of water.

"I see. Well, I suppose this is an opportunity for you to rest after everything that's happened."

"Hmph. There's no rest for the wicked, Sakura." Sasuke said with a pessimistic smirk as he turned to look at her. He knew what he did, how he fucked up. He could never rest or truly make up for his sins.

Sakura wanted to protest but she could not find the words, so she set her gaze down, saddened by her inability to take his pain away.

Sasuke noticed her dismay. He was touched by her desire to be there for him. She was always there for him.

"My sins are not for you to bear. They have nothing to do with you." Sasuke did not want her to feel responsibility for his actions, especially when she too was a victim of them. He did not deserve her sympathy.

"You should hate me."

Sakura's head snapped up at his self-depreciating words.

"No." Sakura objected. Her hands fisted at her side. She wanted to knock some sense into him.

"I was not a shadow of myself. Just another side of the same coin, Sakura. That is the Uchiha's curse of hatred." Sasuke rebutted. His voice dripping with cynicism. He could not forgive himself.

"That was not you. The real you. You weren't yourself! I will not turn my back on you!" Sakura protested, repeated it like a mantra. She would not give up on him. Not now. Not ever.

Sasuke wished she would turn her back on him for all the pain he had caused her. No apology could make up for the damage done.

"I almost took the life from you Sakura. If Naruto and Kakashi had not come I would've taken your life. And then what?" The guilt was eating away at Sasuke. He was allowing himself to feel again and it was making him realize certain things about his relationship with Sakura. In years prior, he had steeled himself and cut away emotions he saw as lacking purpose in his quest for power. Love and friendship had no place in his pursuit. But now that he was back, he's come to understand the severity of his past actions.

"I too sought to take the life from you, Sasuke. Naruto never gave up on you, and yet, I…." Sakura said dejectedly. He was not the only with dirt on their hands.

"It was different."

Sakura took a deep breath. There was no point in this back and forth. He needed time to figure himself out.

"I know that I cannot change your mind. That for now you will find it hard to see the good in yourself. But I hope in time, you'll come to forgive yourself. Naruto and I have." Sakura began to walk towards Sasuke. He did not move as she approached him. Her gaze met his own. They lingered on each other for a while.

In Sasuke's mind, this exchange between them felt like the night he left the village. This time instead of turning his back on her, hiding his emotions, he was standing before her, his emotions in full reveal.

It became obvious as they looked at each other that the one thing they both wanted in this moment was comfort. A way to take away the pain. The frustration.

This time Sakura made the first move. She stood before him. Her gaze intense. She did not look away as she placed one hand on his chest and the other on his cheek. Her touch was gentle, warm.

Sasuke met her stare just as intensely and let her hand meet his skin. He remembered the night before, the feel of her lips against his own. The warmth of her body. He shouldn't, he thought. But everything happened so fast, in a blur.

They let themselves go.

They fell on Sakura's bed.

The night where it all began.