"Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers

Starts so soft and sweet, and turns them to hunters

A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night

May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright

If you could only see the beast you've made of me

I held it in, but now it seems you've set it running free

The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound

I hunt for you with bloody feet across the hallowed ground."

- Florence +The Machine "Howl"

Not Afraid Anymore

Chapter 13: Tunnel of You

It was just the two of them at Ichiraku. Sakura felt like seeing a friendly face, so she reached out to Naruto. His carefree attitude was refreshing and much needed at this moment when the hospital felt like a never-ending list of responsibilities. As committed as she is to her role, even she needs a mental and physical break from the hospital.

Her other source of comfort, Sasuke, was away on a mission. It had been a couple of months since his return, and Lady Tsunade finally decided to reinstate his ninja title and send him out on missions. Sasuke was an exceptionally talented ninja; it made no sense to waste someone of his caliber. He had demonstrated honest remorse for his actions, why not put him to the test by having him work for the benefit of the village?

Sasuke was happy to oblige. It kept him busy and gave him a goal rather than continuously training just to sit at home at the end of the day. He finally felt like he was working towards atoning for his sins.

"Thanks for coming. I knew you wouldn't resist a trip to Ichiraku's." Sakura said cheerfully as she split her chopsticks and began to eat her ramen.

"You got that right. You feeling lonely without Sasuke, huh?" Naruto said teasingly as he slurped on some noodles.

"Noo! I just wanted to see a friendly face. I feel like I live in the hospital these days. Lady Tsunade wants me to eventually take over leadership of the hospital, so I've been working overtime." Sakura was proud Lady Tsunade had such lofty goals for her, but even a big brain like her needs a moment.

"Mhmm. Sounds like you need a vacation. Maybe you should go to the hot springs with Hinata?"

Naruto and Hinata were known to be an item. The shy girl who lovingly watched him from afar, was now the apple of his eye. Sakura was very happy to see him with Hinata. To see him so content and in love.

Despite her well wishes, she felt a tinge of jealousy. The relationship Naruto and Hinata have was something she herself cherished to have with Sasuke, but she was not sure where things were headed between them. It was complicated.

"Sakura?" Naruto called her name, waking her from her inner musings.

"Oh! Yes, that sounds tempting. Maybe when I have some time off, we can plan a girl's trip."

"You seem out of it. You should consider taking that vacation immediately." Naruto said with a slight grin as he finished a second bowl of ramen.

Sakura smiled and continued eating quietly. It was strange to see Naruto play the role of a big brother, but that is what he was to her. Always watching out for her wellbeing. She wouldn't have it any other way.

"Thank you, Naruto."

"No problem, Sakura."


When she came home, it was after dark. She was ready to relax in a warm bath. The apartment was quiet, desolate without Sasuke's presence. She relished his company, the warmth of his body next to hers the nights that they would share a bed. It was intimate. A moment only for them to share. Tonight, she would sleep alone, just like the previous nights.

She headed to the bathroom and turned on the faucet. Hot, steaming water rushing to fill the hollow space of the tub. She stripped herself of her garments and stood naked before the mirror, taking in her appearance. Her hand caressed her cheek, then down her neck, breast, abdomen, and thighs. She let it fall at her side.

Its not too late for her, she thought.

Love will come.

She thought back to Hinata and Naruto. Ino and Sai. Shikamaru and Temari. She wanted what they had. Not just sex, but love and companionship. Will it ever come to that?

She turned away from the mirror and climbed into the tub. The water sloshing and spilling as she slid into its warmth. A blush adorned her skin from the water's heat, beads of sweats rolling down her temple as she threw her head back and closed her eyes.

I needed this…

She stayed in the bath for a while, emptying her mind of all thoughts. She thought of nothing. She focused on different sensations, the heat of the bath enveloping her body, the beads of sweat rolling down her skin, her steady breathing.

Eventually, she fell asleep.


The chill of the bath woke her up. She was no longer enveloped in warmth, but cool water. It reminded her of how she felt about her predicament with Sasuke. It was a mix of hot and cold. Warm when in his embrace, in the heat of the moment, but cold once it was over. The realization would set in that there was nothing more to them than sex. They got along well, and had a good time, but it never seemed to progress further. She hoped things would be different by now.

How pathetic. But you chose to go about it this way.

She rose from the bath and quickly dried herself off. He was not home, so she did not bother to get herself dressed. Not that being nude before him bothered her much.

Despite her impromptu nap in the tub, she was hardly rested, so she headed off to bed. Another day at the hospital awaited her, and she welcomed it. It kept her mind busy from intruding thoughts.


It was the dead of night when he arrived. He was not sure when he would make it back to the village, so he never gave Sakura a heads up for when to expect him. The apartment was silent and pristine with no signs of activity.

Seems Sakura has been spending a lot of time at the hospital.

He headed down the hall way to his room to strip off his gear and then to the bathroom to wash off the grime. He was not particularly hungry for food, but sleep.

The sound of rushing water woke Sakura from her deep slumber. She was not expecting anyone tonight. She pushed herself off the bed, the sheets pooling around her midsection as she looked at her slightly ajar door, noticing a light coming from the bathroom.

Sasuke must be home.

She saw him walk to the bathroom. He had stripped himself of clothes. He paid no mind to his nakedness, perhaps thinking she was not aware of his presence.

He inspired many feelings in her. Desire, pride, resentment, confusion, but most of all love. She was hypnotized by him.

He just got home, let him be….

Snap out of it.

She fell back on the bed and focused her gaze on the ceiling trying to will herself to sleep.


Sasuke took a quick shower to freshen up. He just wanted to pass out on his bed.

After drying himself off, he placed a towel around his waist, turned the bathroom light off and headed to his room. As he quietly walked down the hall, he suddenly stopped near Sakura's slightly ajar door and turned towards it.

Sakura, who could not get herself to sleep, noticed his footsteps stopped near her door, so she closed her eyes and decided to pretend she was asleep.

Sasuke slowly opened the door and came into her room. She was asleep, or so he thought. He walked closer and gazed at her sleeping face. She looked beautiful, but sad.

Before he could stop himself, his hand reached out and touched her cheek.

It took everything in Sakura's power to not shudder at his unexpected touch.

Sasuke?

He did not like to see her unhappy.

Is it me? Is there something happening at the hospital? Why do you look like this?

Many thoughts crossed his mind. He wanted to comfort her. To take away whatever was causing her anguish. Yet, he was not sure how. He was not good at expressing his feelings, much less reading that of others.

It may not seem like much, but he decided to comfort her in his own way. He took her sleeping form in his arms and carried her off to his room.

Before placing her down, he nuzzled his face with hers as he stood before his futon, hoping his touch may alleviate some of her anguish. Sasuke slowly put her down and covered her naked form with a blanket. He then took the towel off his waist and did not bother to put on any clothes, mirroring Sakura's own nakedness. He slid under the covers next to Sakura, his body turned towards her. His gaze lingered on her as he fell asleep.

On the inside, Sakura was dying. She did not expect Sasuke's actions. She wondered what prompted him to want her at his side, to nuzzle his face with hers, and to bring her to his room.

Sasuke…what are you doing?

She did not dare to open her eyes or move. She decided to force herself to sleep and relish in the moment. Whatever it meant. It was a small sign that perhaps there is hope, after all.