"Wakatoshi-kun, did you grow taller again?" Tendo asked, looking over his shoulder. He was both impressed and annoyed at the sight of his friend's height. Both of his hands were hidden in his oversized sweater, but Wakatoshi could clearly imagine him cracking his fingers in all kinds of way possible. It was a habit Satori got in high school. The taller man nodded, before lifting his left hand over his head, comparing Tendo's height with his own. Tendo turned around quickly, pushing his friend's hand away, smiling. "No need to show off, mister All-Japan." He said, watching Ushijima lower his arm back down.
They were both a bit taller than during their high school years, but Tendo always admired Ushiwaka's body evolution. He never was skinny or frail, but his muscles always found a way to grow even bigger and his looks even better. Today, the brown-haired man went for the simple attire, a dark red shirt and some washed up jeans. His hair were getting a bit long, but he always liked having them fall on his forehead. Tendo once said it made him look a bit less scary. Thinking about how his usual serious face might have scared away the children always made Ushijima laugh internally. When Tendo turned around once more to walk ahead, Wakatoshi took a deep breath, before letting his eyes wonder around.
The sky was clear and beautiful. Lots of birds were making themselves heard in the parc where the duo went for lunch. They did not have lots of time on their hands, so a quick rendez-vous at the parc seemed doable for the both of them.
"Did the team practice outside again?" Tendo asked, watching a couple under a tree.
Wakatoshi looked at the red-haired man's back, thinking back to his morning practice.
"Hmm. Sand really is harder to play on." He said, frowning a bit.
"Shoyo-kun really is a monster. The guy can play anywhere now. It's pretty awesome to see, don't you think?" Tendo asked, lowing his pace.
"He's good." The tall man said, once again, thinking back to their game against Karasuno years ago. Shoyo never really improved how the ace saw him. His loud personality still annoyed Wakatoshi sometimes, but they do talk a bit more. "He says hello."
Tendo stopped walking, taking his phone in his hands. "Maybe one day, I'll have enough time to go see your games again." He cheers, hopeful and dreamy. Tendo used to go see his friend's games once in a while, when the national team played at home. Ushiwaka paid for most of his tickets, being the kind man he was. He always loved to see Tendo's eyes follow the spikers everywhere, focused as ever, even from the stands. He knew Tendo was guessing how and where to block, watching every player carefully. Now that he has his own restaurant, free-time is somewhat lacking in his schedule, making it hard for him to even watch a game on TV.
"Maybe. Or I could bring the team to your restaurant." Wakatoshi says, now beside his friend. Theirs arms were almost touching every time they took steps forward. Tendo laughed out loud, bringing one hand to his heart.
"The team eating at Shira's would make my entire week's sells in a night. I still can't believe how much those guys eat!" Tendo says, still typing on his phone. "I can't believe the wedding is there, too." He happily adds, making Wakatoshi's smile melt into a straight line. The serious look was back and his fists were closed on each sides of his body.
"Hmm."
Tendo sighted and put his phone away, looking up to his friend's expression.
"What's up?" He asked, wondering where Ushiwaka's smile went to hide. Ushijima's face looked somewhat happy during their lunch time. They both shared laughs and good memories. Now that they were going their separate ways again, Tendo could not let himself abandon his friend to a sad afternoon. "Tell me." He said.
Wakatoshi was used to this by now. He looked down at his friend, shaking his head, faking being lost in his mind.
"Uh? Oh, I was thinking about practice. Sand is still a challenge." He answers, hoping that for the second time that day, his lie would go unnoticed. Tendo's expression changed into a relaxed and comfortable one. With his eyes closed, he chuckled and started to walk again.
"Don't worry, Wakatoshi-kun. Everything will be fine!" He claims, putting a hand on his phone. The buzz signaling a newly received text message made him look back at the small screen, a small smile on his face. "I really have to go, now. She'll get mad if I get to that cake-tasting thing too late." He said, smiling to himself. Wakatoshi nodded, before lifting his left hand in the air, pointing to the left turn he had to make. You do have to tell me if I should cut my hair or change my style, before we go our separate ways." He adds, bringing both hands to his red hair.
"I like how they are now." Ushijima said, still loving every second he can get to stare at his friend's head. You're beautiful, he thought. "Have fun with your fiancé." He said, looking down at his feet. "I have to go back as well." Satori nodded too, before waving to his friend.
"Let's talk again soon." He answered, taking the first steps to go back to his future wife.
Wakatoshi watched him leave for a few seconds, before turning away and go on his own path.
The tall man sighted heavily for the second time that day. The first one was when he saw Satori walking closer to him with a big smile on his face. They hadn't seen each other in 3 months and he dreaded the wedding conversations. He felt pleasantly surprised when even after an hour together, Tendo had yet to speak of his fiancé, but instead listened to Wakatoshi's volleyball rant. Satori was now 26 and he still found his volleyball talks so interesting and gratifying. Whenever he visited his high school's team, at least one player would come up to him and ask him why he left volleyball. He knew his nickname as the guess-monster was still very well respected at the Shiratorizawa Academy, and that fact alone made him shine with pride every time he'd go and help the coaching staff. Some of the players of the monster generation still went just like him to help the team. Goshiki and Leon were both great assistant coaches and members of the staff. Tendo talked more to them then he did Ushijima for a long time, so most of their conversations were about the guys and the school's team. Tendo knew Wakatoshi never was interested in wedding talks, so he tried to keep the subjects simple: Sports, school and work, which helped Ushiwaka get over his shattering heart even once in a while.
The brown-haired man was slowly making his way to the bus station, when his phone started ringing. When he looked at the caller's ID, he frowned and swiped his thumb over the screen. He stayed silent for a few seconds, only breathing into the microphone.
"So? What happened?" He heard his friend's concerned voice. Ushijima Wakatoshi NEVER once thought being friends with that man would ever happen in his life, but when the Japan team played a friendly against Argentina, the two high school nemesis talked for some time, before exchanging phone numbers. Only Hinata Shoyo knew of this weird friendship, and Wakatoshi wanted nothing else but for it to stay that way.
"Nothing We talked." Ushiwaka said, sitting down on the bench, waiting for his bus.
"Well, I know that, but please be more specific? Did you two talk about your feelings? Did you declare you love? Did you make out?" The questions kept coming and the man grew more annoyed at each and every one of them.
"No, nothing of the sort. He mentioned cake tasting for today, so I didn't really want to ruin his meeting with the future wife." He answered, playing with the bus card in his hand.
"Well, that's disappointing. I thought Iwa-chan told you how to confess. Did he?" Oikawa asked, his voice sounding confused and lost.
"He did, but he also told me timing is everything."
Iwaizumi tried to write down in a letter Ushijima's feelings towards his friend. They sat down for an entire evening at Oikawa's place, trying to make him talk. Sadly, Wakatoshi did not know how to put his feelings into words. They never came out right and the frustration came out into very hard spikes during the next morning's practice.
"Ah, yes. It is everything. But it's also running out, my friend. You have to make a move. At least before the 'I do'." Torou explained, giggling to himself. "Just… Please come back to my place next week. I have a date with Iwa-chan then. We can cut it short and help you out…again." Oikawa asked, seriously offering another chance for Ushijima to get it right.
The tall man didn't even think twice before agreeing, now totally trusting the couple with his complicated situation. They both settled for a date, before saying their goodbyes.
"Oh, and Ushiwaka, you bring the wine, this time." Argentina's setter said with a funny voice.
"Right. Goodbye." Ushijima said, before standing up to get on his bus.
With the amount of money he's making, one would think "Why does he get on a bus to travel?". Well, the ace never knew how to decide for a car. Tendo shared his love for luxurious cars, while Oikawa leaned more towards sports cars. Most of his friends and family told him to choose anything if it works. It's been 4 years, now and the guy had yet to make a final choice. In his mind, a bus could very much so do the same job as a car. Bonus points for the fact that he does not get to choose which bus to take. He has a precise route all the way from his home to the gym and he never tends to go anywhere else, unless Tendo's involved.
His week went by pretty fast, like always. Practices and school were both eating lots of time on his agenda, but making sure his evening with Oikawa and Iwaizumi would happen wasn't a problem at all. When he arrived at their place, Hajime had already finished making diner and the entire appartement smelled wonderfully.
"Good evening." Wakatoshi greeted him, lifting the bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. Oikawa peaked his head beside his boyfriend's behind the door, eyeing the bottle.
"What's this?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow. Ushijima shrugged, stepping inside.
"Bought it in Quebec a month ago." He answered, taking off his shoes.
"You went to Canada?" Hajime asked, curiously eyeing the bottle as well. The inscriptions were in French, making it impossible for the couple to read. The single man nodded, explaining how he got to practice with Team Canada's setter for two days, before the friendly game they had on schedule.
"Well, thank you! Looks absolutely fantastic!" Oikawa cheered, taking to bottle in his hands.
"You don't even know what it's made of." Iwaizumi deadpanned, closing the door behind his guest.
"It's wine, Iwa-chan. It's made of fermented grapes." Torou answered, proudly putting the bottle down on the table. The two guys next to the door looked at each other, before rolling their eyes.
"Yeah, sure." They both said at the same time. Wakatoshi wanted to add a lot more information to that fact, but he knew Hajime would've fallen asleep right then and there.
The evening went on well. The three man talked a lot and tried to help the taller one with his love life (or lack there of). The wine emptied, the food eaten and absolutely loved, as always. Hajime didn't look the part, but his cooking was something Torou thank the volleyball Gods all the time. The wine did help the ace to find the proper words to his thoughts and feelings. It took lots of questions and creativity coming from the couple to get those feelings out of their cages.
"I always found it strange." Hajime whispered.
"What?" Ushijima asked, taking a bite of his pie.
"I always thought it would've been the other way around, you know? Like… I always thought Tendo-san was super gay and you super… not?" He explained carefully. Still at his first glass of wine, Hajime tried to make sense of his thoughts without offending the man sitting in front of him. "Like, you always looked so serious and hard on yourself. I never thought you'd be the one to catch feelings first." He added, raising the alcohol to his lips. Ushijima hummed, before frowning.
"I was always so serious because it's in my nature. Just like my feelings. I mean, we never really know who can feel what until we know their true nature. With Satori, I… I feel like I know, but at the same time, there's a big black hole in front of me. I know everything there is to know about him. But I never could see inside his heart. His feelings are hard to read." He said, staring at his empty glass. Oikawa chuckled before shaking his head.
"That is so weird. I always thought he loved you. Or at least had a crush on you. He looked at you with those eyes… You know? Admiring you and staring. It felt envious at times. But knowing he has a fiancé, I get what you mean." Torou said, looking at his boyfriend. "With this one, I kinda knew. Nobody could ever endure all of my shit. He did and even followed them after high school. Iwa-chan asking to meet up after a month separated after graduation was the sign I needed. My opened window. I think you need to find yours, even if you're not sure of his feelings. You just really never know, as cliché as it sounds." He adds, taking Hajime's hand in his. They both smiled, before turning their eyes towards Wakatoshi. The man was smiling, watching their interaction.
"I never knew you could think like that, Oikawa." He said, getting a loud laugh from Iwaizumi in return. The setter scoffed, before standing up.
"I'll let you know that I have a heart!" He said, before letting a smile escape his lips. "Excuse me, while I go empty my bladder." He said, bowing to the two men.
The conversation stayed on the same topic, as casually and truthfully as possible. They found a way for Ushiwaka to declare his love, or at least start something with Tendo, before it was too late. The plan didn't look very well rehearsed or prepared, but it would have to do. The wedding was planned for August 19th, so their entire plan had an expiration date, which was in 5 weeks. Wakatoshi had to leave for Osaka for a small training camp with the national team, so that's already two weeks eaten out of their schedule. Satori had lots to do for the preparation, so they had to at least find the right date during those 3 weeks. But the hard part is what kind of declaration Ushijima would make. And where. The couple proposed to him that he let his imagination take control and lead the conversation when he'll confess. With no written confession, Wakatoshi could only imagine himself studder like a child and never actually say anything, so for him, that was out of the question. Unfortunately, having a piece of paper with him at a crucial moment like that felt stupid and even more childish, so he was torn between two very bad plans. He could always text Semi and ask for some advices. The man was dating half of the prefecture and was clearly living his best life while doing so, which was unexpected by Ushijima and his friends. So far, Wakatoshi was left with his only reasonable choice, which was to simply tell the tale alone, slowly and as clearly as possible. He knew Satori would listen to him, the only problem he never really thought of, is that he would have to listen to his possible answer in return.
He didn't do it.
Ushijima Wakatoshi could not open his mouth and let his feelings out. But he did try. Several times. He saw Satori twice before the final rehearsal. Every time he thought about confessing, all he could think about was a sad ending where his one true love would turn his back on him. That did not sit well with him at all, so instead of facing his fears, he word vomited about his undying love for volleyball. On his first try, he started with "I love" but then paused, seeing how Tendo's face looked happy and serene. No way he could ruin that, so he continued with "playing for Japan.", then never stopped talking until he felt like his heart wasn't about to explode.
The second time, He took Tendo's hand, which was a big step forward for him. When Satori's smile changed into a confused expression, Wakatoshi panicked like a kid and said he felt cold. "I thought your hands would be cold too." Is what he said. Though Satori did brush it off as a weird moment without any significance, the ace felt his soul being crushed under the weight of his fears and insecurities. What the hell was that? Were the words he could not get out of his head for some very long hours.
When he called Iwaizumi for an emergency meeting, he did not fall into panic, but felt time disappearing and his chance dying away with it. Hajime called him to apologize, because he couldn't spare time before the actual wedding.
The rehearsal went by quickly. Satori explaining lots of different things to Ushijima, who he chose for the last toast of the celebrations. At the end of the day, the red-haired man did ask about the words Wakatoshi would put on paper, but the taller man did not divulge such information.
"You'll have to wait, Tendo." He said, holding a pen in his left hand. "I have 24 hours to come up with it." He whispered, more to himself then to his friend, who jumped at the words.
"Your speech isn't done yet?" He gasped, putting both hands on his face. Wakatoshi shook his head, then stood up with his jacket in hands. The pen was left on the table, where the blank page shined like an unfinished love letter, which it could very well end up being in the end.
"I have to go home finish it. I'll see you tomorrow at 10am." He said, before taking quick strides towards the door.
"Fine." Tendo said, leaning back on his chair.
The wedding was at 2pm the next day. The weather was supposed to be clear and hot. It was supposed to be a wonderful afternoon, but all the brown-haired man could think about was how horrible it would be to sit there and watch the love of his life get away from him. He never bought him a ring, but he did imagine himself standing up, running to the altar, and throwing the wedding ring in a fountain, before giving him his own. He imagined lots of different scenarios, but never did think about the only one that mattered. What would happen next? He'd have to move on. Find someone else to annoy him and show him new ways to cook a steak. He'd have to end up with someone who couldn't guess where the ball would go. Someone who wouldn't follow his every movements on the court.
Just someone else. But that didn't felt good. Not at all. So instead of sleeping like he should have been, Wakatoshi ended up spending his night wide awake, writing a meaningless speech for a love story that wasn't his own.
The next day, he did meet with Satori at 10am, had lunch with him and went on a quick walk before the wedding.
"Did you finish your speech?" Satori asked, getting in his car with his friend.
"Yes."
"Will I like it?" He asked again, but this time with a small smirk on his face. His playful eyes did not meet the sad and tired one of the man sitting beside him. "Waka?" He whispered, turning his body to face the ace. Something felt wrong, but he did not know what.
Ushijima's head was boiling. Not with anger, but with blurred words and feelings he did not know how to communicate. His eyes looked everywhere but to his left, where Satori awaited patiently. His breathing became erratic and short. Both of his fists were closing and opening back and forth, without any sense of control. Satori frowned and lifted his right hand, before letting it fall on Wakatoshi's.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, making the world stop turning. Silence filled the car and both men looked at each other.
"Please don't." Wakatoshi said, before closing his eyes. Satori's eyes lowered, before he leaned back a little.
"What?" His voice was monotone, almost robotic.
"Don't do it." Ushijima added, before feeling his eyes water. His eyes kept staring into Satori's soul, living him no choice but to listen to his friend. "Don't go in there." He said, pleading on his very last conversation before the wedding. Time was literally running out. Minus 20 minutes before the first song and Satori felt something he had not felt in a long time.
Anger.
"Stop that." He said, still with a deadly serious tone. He put both hands on the steering wheel, before breathing heavily. "You have no right." He adds, anger creeping up in his voice. "I did everything I could. I fucking worshiped you." He said, clutching at the wheel with a strong grip. Wakatoshi's head lifted up quickly, his eyes living Satori to stare at the ceiling. He could not bare hear those words and look at him at the same time.
He what?
The man brough one hand to his face, wiping a single tear. "I can't let you go." He said, his voice breaking for one of the rare times in his entire life. His heart broke right there, in the car. "I'm so sorry, Satori." He said before looking back down at his now red faced, tear eyed friend.
"You could've opened your eyes in high school. I was there. I was always there. It took me so long to get over it. You never gave in emotionally. What was I supposed to do? You decided to tell me now?" He asked, now clearly mad, asking all sorts of questions. "Why now, Wakatoshi? Did you think it was a good idea? Or maybe it's a big joke to you? Is my wedding day a joke?" He asked, pulling on the handle of his door. The sudden silence of the car was destroyed by outside noise. Music and happy conversations where filling Ushijima's ears, but all he could really hear was his heartbeat. When the door closed, he jumped, looking to his left. The empty seat made him realise how fucked up the situation was. Where did he go? The wedding was about to start, but Satori couldn't possibly get married with tears in his eye and anger and sadness in his heart.
He did exactly just that. When Wakatoshi walked to the venue, the man standing between the bride and the groom was already talking, asking them both the very last question.
"I do." She said, smiling big and almost jumping on her feet. When Satori's turn to answer came, he looked in the crowd and saw his high school teammate.
"Don't." Ushijima Wakatoshi whispered, leaning on his arm against a tree for support. His long hair, just like Satori liked, falling in front of his eyes, hiding the pain and the tears.
"I do."
