Bad Night Inn


Drakken rifled through his closet, his mind racing. Why had he chosen this weekend to finalize the touches for the beta test synthodrone? He cringed. Of course he'd forgotten the date, and Shego just had to remind him. He didn't remember ever agreeing to this. He didn't even know if he actually had. But if he was going to be running the beta test, getting Shego out of the lair was essential to his plan, even if it meant leaving himself...or pretending to.

"Dr. Drakken, I'm really confused," said Hector in the doorway. "Why do you want my sister to meet you at the Villain's Inn again?"

"Because I need an exit strategy and you're the only one with a viable female for the evening," said Drakken quickly. Hector looked horrified and Drakken raised a brow and groaned. "I just need a decoy to sneak out without Shego following me."

"Why don't you want..." Hector was cut off.

"Hector...do I employ you? Have I given you a job multiple times? Do I not use you for testing my inventions?" asked Drakken. Hector nodded. "I would think after all that, after Dr. Sweets, and the fact you even have a promotion...that we have reached a level of... 'don't question me'?"

"Right," said Hector softly. He looked around. "So my sister..."

"Can we not do this?" sighed Drakken. "Just have her meet me by the bar at ten, okay?"

"Should I show you a picture...?" said Hector. Drakken glared and the henchman backed out of the room. "Ten. Bar. Got it."

"Honestly, it's like pulling teeth," sighed Drakken as he looked at the outfit he'd picked out and groaned. "Formal enough."

"Hey, Drakken," he looked up to see Shego, a smug look on her face. "Look what your mother sent me for a belated Christmas gift, you know, since she didn't know I was coming."

"...A very short black dress?" asked Drakken. He was a little concerned by this. "I need you to stop whatever this is with my mother, immediately."

"No, these shoes. They are vintage villainess if ever there was such a thing," said Shego triumphantly, showing the green stilettos that had metal heels that looked like serpents. "Hey, she may not have known it, but your dad got her all the villainess latest of the time."

"How nice... " said Drakken. He felt his gaze lingered on her legs too long and turned back to his closet. "Trying a little hard tonight?"

"Why, too much?" asked Shego with a smirk. Drakken saw the glint in her eye and cursed at himself. She was definitely in a mischievous mood.

"What do you think of the heels?" asked Shego, and Drakken sighed as she leaned against his closet door and blocked him with a leg. "Catch a few eyes?"

"You might want to shave your legs if you're wearing that," said Drakken, fighting the smirk tugging at his lips.

"I did," snapped Shego in a huff as she withdrew her leg, but she smirked. "All right, I'll stop. Clearly you've got your comebacks ready to fire. Now work on your lines so both of us have some fun tonight."

"Yes," said Drakken. He smirked. "Shego, what do you think I should wear?"

"Hmm?" asked Shego. Drakken rolled his eyes as she looked at the heels. "Did you ask me something?"

"Every time we go on an outing you badger me about everything, so what should I wear?" asked Drakken. It would go even smoother if Shego thought him leaving with Hector's sister was because of her.

You truly are a genius, Drakken!

"Wait, are you seriously going to listen to me?" asked Shego. She looked shocked, then gave a devious grin. "It's about time... But let's be clear. On the off chance we run into any of your exes or mine tonight...they, no matter the alcohol, are not the target."

"Understood," said Drakken. He hoped Hector's sister showed up early. He hadn't even factored that in. "Let's wish them well and that they won't be at a dateless villain's Valentine's party."

"I wish them death, but hey...whatever gets you through the night," said Shego as she tossed clothes at him. "All right, let's get going."


"God, it reeks of depression in here," cringed Shego as they walked in. "Remember the rules. No bartenders. No exes. Everyone else is fair game."

"When did bartenders get added?" asked Drakken. He raised a brow as Shego looked towards the bar. "Something happened?"

"Let's just say, you're not the only one to have made out with the best looking ones here, and let's not lower standards to the others," said Shego. Drakken looked at her with a raised brow. "Our little villainess revenge party... Yeah...there was too much candy and alcohol."

"Huh, speaking of candy, I'd avoid any. Carmella is supplying rogue villains now through HenchCo," said Drakken. Shego raised a brow. "Yeah, the mind control stuff among others. No idea if it made it past testing, but I'm steering clear."

"HenchCo," said Shego, looking at the sweets table.

Drakken walked over to the bar where he saw a poster of Kim Possible with darts thrown at it. He smirked. Good to know there were many villains with the same annoying problems he had. He raised a brow at the sign that said, 'Whoever took Herby the Severed Hand, FUCKING Return it!' He snorted and looked towards Shego.

His smirk fell as he tried to find her in the crowd. She was over at the table littered with candy, and he rolled his eyes. He avoided a few dancers as he made his way to the table and looked at Shego from the other side. She was staring hard at what looked like a butterscotch candy one might find in the bottom of a purse. Drakken cringed as he saw the HenchCo stamp. Of course they were HenchCo products; it was the Villain's Inn.

"Someone stole Herby," said Drakken. Shego's eyes shot up and there was an odd look behind them before she smirked.

"Again?" asked Shego. She dropped the candy. "Well let's hope this time they kept him in his jar. Look at some of these things. I feel like it's something out of Harry Potter."

"Breathless Butterscotch?" asked Drakken with a raised brow. He looked at it. "'May cause impaired judgment, memory loss, and aches...' That's a lot to consider just to make sure your breath never stinks."

"Yeah well, look at the clients... Look at the contributor," said Shego. Drakken watched as her hands lit a few things on fire and she walked away to avoid the yells. Drakken casually put the candy in the flames and followed after Shego, pretending there wasn't an issue and people weren't yelling.

"I feel bad for whoever has to clean that up," said Drakken. He raised a brow at Shego; she looked off. "Everything okay?"

"I need a drink," said Shego, and she smiled at Drakken. "You need a drink, too."

"I'm going to agree with that," said Drakken as he heard the music pick up and the band start. "This might be a long night."


"Did you see what he's wearing?" asked Shego in a low whisper, indicating to a man wearing a bear suit with no head, ."Ten bucks says the woman in leather goes home with him."

"Twenty it's the guy with the whip," said Drakken whispering as well. They both watched as he walked over to where the two chatted.

"Both," they broke into laughter as their new drinks arrived.

"You two sure are having a good time," said a woman sitting a few seats away from Drakken, her features framed by heavy dark hair. "Thought this was only for the single, lonely, and depraved."

"Depraved and single, we are," said Shego. Drakken felt her nudge him. "We're just biding time until we weed out the oddballs."

"Oh, so you're not a couple then," said the woman with a smirk.

"God, no," said both of them at the same time. Shego nudged Drakken again.

"Dr. Drakken," said Drakken. He saw the woman's eyes light up, and it clicked as she leaned towards him that this must be Hector's sister, though they didn't look too much alike save for dark hair.

"Shay," she smiled, a flirty look on her face as Drakken sat next to her. Shego darted across the bar to the other side and he rolled his eyes at the thumbs up she gave him. "So, apart from the sad party and the mystery of where Herby is, do you frequent here often, Doctor?"

"No, can't say that I do... Though had I known I might run into someone as beautiful as you, I would have," smirked Drakken. He saw Shego give a silent slow clap and he felt a wash of embarrassment even though this was all a ruse.

"With lines like those, I don't see why you don't have a school of fish," smirked Shay. Drakken raised a brow as she leaned her hand on his and got very close. "Because I'm biting. Care to reel me in?"

"Ahk," came Shego. They both looked at her. She'd been attempting a gagging motion and had made the noise. She began coughing and took her drink. "Sorry...choked on the cherry...sorry."

"Yes, well," Drakken watched as Shego walked away and shook her head and made a 'nope' motion towards Shay. Drakken bit his lip but went back to the ruse. He looked at his watch. "Would you like to get out of here?"

"Forward...I like it," said Shay as she got up. "Lead the way."

"See you at home," muttered Drakken as he grabbed his jacket and waved to Shego.

"Are you serious?" said Shego with wide eyes. Drakken didn't stay to argue; his plan was falling into place.


"All right, so I'll just..." Drakken was cut off as Shay's lips slammed into his, causing him to hit the inside of the car door. He pushed her away. "What are you doing? I don't know what Hector implied, but this is not what I ordered."

"Hector?" asked Shay. Her brow rose and then she smirked. "Oh I get it, you like to roleplay? That's fine, so do I."

"Wait...what?" asked Drakken. He was even more confused and hit the door hard as she sat on his lap. He cleared his throat. "This is not going to happen, so kindly remove yourself from my lap."

"I've never done this role before, but I can give dominatrix or dominant a try," said Shay with a raised brow, her eyes narrowing.

"No, not..." Drakken flailed as he was pinned to the backseat.


An hour, three creeps, and two drinks later, Shego sat in utter annoyance at the bar. She looked towards the exit again. Her stomach filled with knots at the fact Drakken had left with the dark-haired bimbo. She was regretting the whole evening, now. After being there a few hours and playing people-watch, she'd been so focused on who was going home with whom, that a lot of good options had left early. Not that she intended to do anything more than some kissing and a possible robbery. It hadn't bothered her when she and Drakken were mocking and laughing together; now she just felt like a leftover loser.

She spun her shot glass in circles and glared, removing her hand from it. When had she picked up that annoying trait? She tried to shake Drakken from her mind and what he might be doing with Shay and her sleazy comebacks, which only resulted in a small headache. She looked around the inn and saw the few stragglers around. Her eyes fell towards a pretty dark-haired woman sitting a few feet away looking around in confusion. Shego recognized her as a henchwoman she'd met a few years back.

"Rosa, what are you doing here?" asked Shego with a raised brow.

"Oh, hi Shego," said the woman. She had a small smile on her lips. "My brother asked me to help his boss with an escape plan. Guess it was a waste of time... And everyone else seems like a flake."

"Yeah, the losers are abundant tonight," sighed Shego as she grabbed another drink and sat next to Rosa. "Still working for what's-his-face?"

"Pyro Pete? No," said Rosa. "He set fire to his lair and half a forest. He's away for a few years, spending time with my Max right now. Well trying to. Pre-teen drama. Hench work and mercenary taking a break for me... How about you? Mercenary anymore?"

"Nope, side-kick," said Shego raising her glass and brow with an eye-roll. "Three years now. Three years of disappointment, annoyance, and migraines."

"Well, it can't be too bad if it has you staying for that long," said Rosa with wide eyes. She smirked. "Especially with that weird one month minimum you had. Must have some...perks."

"It pays well," Shego shrugged, taking a drink again. She wanted to change the subject. "So, your brother asked you to help his boss escape from what exactly? Other than the thriving intellectually stimulating conversations of, 'Does purple make me look intimidatingly sexy?' and my personal favorite, 'Scheme here often?'"

"He doesn't know, really. Based on everything he's told me his bosses are probably having a fight or something and he wants to make the other one think he's got game," sighed Rosa. She rolled her eyes. "I imagine villains in a relationship are even more complicated than in the henchworld."

"How lame, that sounds like something Drakken would ask me to do," snorted Shego. Rosa choked on her drink. "Whoa, calm down there. If you want someone to buy you one, give them time to order first."

"Sorry," she coughed. "Did you say Drakken as in Dr. Drakken? That's who Hector told me to meet."

"Hector?" said Shego with wide eyes. They narrowed. "Drakken did what?"


"Hector, you're fired," glared Drakken as he stumbled into the lair, holding his phone to his ear. "And your sister needs psychological help...and that's coming from me!"

Drakken didn't wait for the response as he hung up the phone and proceeded to sit down in his lab chair, his back cracking as he did so. As he took a deep breath, he wondered if he'd maybe overreacted firing Hector again because his sister had practically assaulted him... He chose not to dwell on it and get to work. He'd lost an hour trying to escape the grips of the woman who was supposed to be his escape plan. Who knew how long Shego would be out and Drakken needed to initiate the final stage of his programming and get the testing procedure set for any failures. Once that was complete then all the was left was a minor...hostile takeover. He grinned evilly to himself and looked towards where the mints were safely stored. He typed away furiously, making sure all the bugs in the software were patched, double-checking the traits modules and updates.

He wasn't sure how long he worked, but all the lights except for the walkway and where he sat had gone off. With one final click, he sent the program down to the molding room. Drakken sat there in silence. The hard part was over. Nothing had stopped him. All that was left was for the henchmen to finish their research and fine-tune the plan. A small casual visit...and the rest... The rest was easy. A few quick swipes with Shego's help and he, for once, could feel the plan working in his favor.

His mind started racing, but it wasn't negative, it was all positive as he tried to play every possible problem that may occur... But no one would question it. Even if Possible busted in right then, all she would see was them making synthodrones, which was completely legal. He stomped his feet in excitement and spun around with a giddy laugh only to stop dead in his tracks.

"Shego?" asked Drakken as he looked at the woman glaring at him, her arms crossed. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, surprise!" said Shego with a glare. She pointed a glowing finger at him. "I don't know what you're playing at, but you better start talking."

"Wh-What?" asked Drakken. He pushed back into his desk. How much had she seen? How much did she know? "Whatever do you mean?"

"What do I mean? How about your little ruse to ditch me this evening?" asked Shego. Her green eyes were narrowed. "So, what's the game? Because you'd better have a good reason for your little stunt."

"What, you think I staged meeting someone? Her name was Shay and we had a lovely evening," snapped Drakken. He felt himself squirm but kept his eyes focused. Her glowing hand faded and she shook her head in an expression he didn't recognize.

"I'm going on vacation, you know since I ended up canceling my last one for a favor to you," snapped Shego. "Maybe I'll come back, we'll see."

"Shego, wait," said Drakken. His mind was spinning a plan for him and he wasn't even sure of the possible outcome as he started to speak. "I asked Hector to have his sister meet me at the Villain's Inn so I could leave... It's just...it's just...well, you always seem to cancel your evening plans when you take me with you and I just wanted you to have a good night without wasting your time being my wing-woman, that's all."

"So...you ditched me...to give me space?" asked Shego. Drakken gulped, ready for the green light to hit. That sounded stupid even to him. "If I didn't want you to come, I wouldn't have invited you... Only in your head would that make sense."

"Yes, well... " said Drakken. He saw Shego's anger fade as she rolled her eyes and smirked. She bought it. "Didn't work did it?"

"Looks like another night in for both of us anyway," sighed Shego. He watched her posture shift. "I really do need a vacation. At least a few days. Rosa had me think you were trying to find a replacement for me or something."

"Replace you?" asked Drakken. A wave of panic and confusion hit him. "Who's Rosa?"

"Hector's sister, apparently," said Shego in shock. "Small world, by the way. When she told me about the whole ruse, I thought you were trying to find someone else to do my job."

"When did you talk to her?" asked Drakken. He was suddenly terrified that he'd been followed home.

"At the bar after you left with...who did you leave with actually?" asked Shego, a confused look on her face.

"...Well, that's kind of unfortunate now," muttered Drakken. He groaned. "I have to call and hire Hector back."


Drakken watched Shego fly off in the hover car and waited until she was out of sight before his grin turned devious. She'd unknowingly aided his already functioning plan. He practically sprinted down to the synthodrone molding room. The light flashing 'complete' had just sprung on. Timing was on his side that night, and it was proving to be everything he needed. The regular mold lay discarded for the test ones. The different colored mold slid open and Drakken pushed the final button he needed and waited as the synthodrone's eyes sprang open—actual eyes, an actual face looked for this one. No red hood or glowing mask. The face of a young man looked at him. He seemed to be zeroing in on Drakken's face. Drakken could mentally see the computer data processing the room, him, and the area. Drakken grinned. That meant his fusing of the syntho-technology and AI module and data were working. The drone's movement became less rigid and a smirk appeared on Drakken's creation's face.

"Have you chosen a name?" asked Drakken.

"Erik."


OH NOOOO! →