Elephant In The Room
Shego shivered as she woke the next morning. The lair felt like an ice box despite the copious amounts of blankets she'd snuggled into. She slid off her bed and grabbed her thickest blanket as she headed out her door. She'd already put on multiple layers in the four hours since she'd...could she really call it sleep? She remembered having a moment of dreamless periods but she doubted she'd actually slept. She started down the hall and saw that Drakken had taken the blankets she'd left outside his door.
She sighed in some form of relief. It meant that at some point from when she'd banged on his door and he ignored her, and during her yelling he was going to freeze to death and dumping the blankets...some sort of reason had dawned on him and he'd retrieved them. She raised her hand to knock on his door, this time deciding to simply walk in if he ignored her.
The door barely shuts. I could have just done that last night.
"Drakken?" she asked as she knocked.
"Oh, you're awake. Good." The door was shoved open. "I was just about to come get you."
Drakken was already dressed and looked wide awake... Either that or she was just so tired by comparison; he looked well-rested. She squinted her eyes and tried to look at his more closely. Perhaps he hadn't slept at all. She pulled her blanket tighter as she stepped back to try and asses him further. He too wore a thick blanket in the same manner as her.
"You were?" asked Shego, raising a brow.
"Yes?" He looked confused. "Shego, I for one have no intention of letting myself become a frozen statue. I already packed a bag that will last me till Tuesday. Thinking about it, even with the heat on it will take at least a day to get the lair livable again."
"You're probably right..." Shego trailed off.
"Of course I am." He grinned and walked past her. "I managed to get a temporary shield up on the hovercar, but come Tuesday I'm putting the permanent one back on."
Shego stood there and watched him walk off, still ranting, and completely normal. She looked beyond his room and down the hall that led to the other end of the lair. She looked back in his room. His mattress was back. She spent a solid minute wondering if she'd imagined the whole thing... Had she dreamed the blanket fort? Even the inappropriate ending to her attempted sneaky cuddle? She looked at Drakken as he reached the end of the hall, the purple blanket trailing behind him like a cape.
The muffled whisper for the lamp he'd given before he'd run off wasn't something she imagined.
She saw the blanket go around the corner but it didn't go far, as if he were simply waiting on the other side of the wall. It took her until she reached her own door and glanced at the tiny bit of purple fabric that it clicked—Drakken was simply going to pretend the evening never happened. Playing it back, she understood. He'd been clearly embarrassed and she'd...well she'd not exactly made things better. She may have made those comments out of reaction to the awkward situation, but they had not been helpful at all. They had been funny, but in the moment...the epitome of mean-spirited.
How shocking he only sees you as his partner-in-crime...when most wouldn't qualify you as a friend.
She glared at her own thoughts. It was clear she needed sleep if she was starting her morning with a jab at her own self-esteem. She aggressively packed her bag and headed towards the garage, the blanket wrapped around her now-dressed form. Shield or not, it was too cold for her.
Drakken drummed his fingers on the dashboard as Shego drove the hovercar. He kept waiting for Shego to start bringing up the prior night. He'd been so paranoid about it, he'd been ranting for a solid twenty minutes of their flight...until she had shoved him over and said she couldn't listen to his ranting for any longer... She was pushing the hovercar to its limits now. So he'd fallen silent, which was not helping him. Ranting and talking...putting verbal distance between now and the memory of Shego's cruel laughter...wasn't working.
Well you got your answer at least...
He tried to focus on anything else but his current thought process. How many inventions could he re-purpose? What scrap parts did he have available? If he sold some stocks, how much could he gain?
Why does the idea of me having urges make her laugh?
And it was back. He'd spent all night holed-up in his room...well a few hours, anyway. Locked in his bathroom to be more precise... Dealing with his emotions and ignoring Shego at the door. Her cruel laughter and jokes had rung in his head. The silence that had now taken their place was greeted by self-pity and mockery. Not as bad as the hours prior, but they were still there. For a moment, as he'd sat in the bathroom, it had felt like he'd had those gauntlets on again... But he couldn't blame them for the mental lashing and humiliation he'd been hung up on.
You're pathetic...
There it was. He sighed and looked out the side of the hovercraft and away from where Shego sat next to him. That was the simple answer he'd arrived upon. Shego may, begrudgingly, agree with his evil plans and schemes. They both may enjoy the occasional snide comments, dark humor, banter... He could go on in his mental tallies of things they shared. But under no circumstance did she see him as a physical being, let alone a man. So she laughed...because it was...like most things with him...a joke.
Glad we're not talking about it.
"So are we not going to talk about last night?" asked Shego with a sigh.
I hate when I'm wrong.
"I don't think we need to," he responded. "What happened...happened. New day."
"This coming from the king of dramatic pettiness and overthinking," stated Shego. "Yeah... I don't believe that for a second. This is going to come up at the worst time and we both know it."
"There's nothing to talk about," said Drakken. He rubbed his hands together anxiously. "I'd prefer we just move on."
"Fine... But if you start acting weird or bring this up—"
"Promise." Drakken gave her a hopeful smile. She rolled her eyes.
"We'll see," she muttered under her breath.
"Shego...there's a hotel down there," said Drakken, choosing to ignore her statement.
"Good. Because Dr. D," sighed Shego.
"Yes?" he asked with a raised brow.
"You kind of smell." She smirked. "Like...stale water."
"Yes, and you smell...just...lovely." Drakken glared.
Drakken ignored her smug smirk at his not being able to come up with a better retort. He knew she was just being difficult in her usual Shego-way. He leaned on the side of the hovercar as they began to descend. When he thought Shego wasn't looking he chanced a deep sniff of himself. It might be that she was being honest—the coat had taken a few dips into the moat... More than Shego knew about. There was nothing quite like already dealing with your own mental turmoil and then falling into a moat you could clearly see with a lamp. He sniffed again. It was him and the coat.
"I saw that," stated Shego as she parked them. "I'm glad there wasn't a full dome on... We might have died."
Drakken patted his hand impatiently on the desk in the hotel lobby. Shego rang the bell again and reached over the counter to pick up an air freshener bottle. Drakken narrowed his eyes as she spun it around. He could see the twitch in her lip as she looked at him and the bottle as she spun it. As she put it back he sighed.
"What is taking them so long—" Drakken was cut off as a mist of peppermint hit him. He glared at the woman next to him. "Feel better?"
"No, but it smells better," she shrugged. She looked at the desk. "You know what. I'm bored. Keep a lookout."
"For what? The people who aren't here?" asked Drakken as he gestured to the empty lobby.
Shego jumped over the counter and began typing away at the computer and Drakken grinned as she hummed along and picked up a key card. She looked at a room chart and ticked away some more at the screen. She handed Drakken two pink room keys and glared at the screen before grinning. Drakken would be lying if he didn't enjoy watching Shego's various devious expressions that fell into a confident smile.
"Well Mr. Miller. We have extended your stay for the next two days as you requested. I hope you don't mind the corner suite. Please, enjoy your stay." Shego gave a corny customer service smile and Drakken snorted.
"Why, thank you," Drakken held up the name plaque, "Gemma. Please leave yourself a hefty tip."
"Why, how nice of you." Shego feigned shock as she grabbed some money from the hotel's cash drawer. "Wow. Three hundred dollars. That's too much."
"I think it's not enough," responded Drakken. Shego held up a few more bills. "That's more like it."
Shego snorted and rolled her eyes as she hopped back over the counter and grabbed one of the keys from Drakken's hand as they both went to retrieve their bags. Drakken pondered how much chaos Shego had left on the computer and how long it would be before Gemma lost her job or Mr. Miller noticed an obscene charge on his credit card bill. He laughed under his breath as Shego spun in a gleeful turn as she leaned against the hovercar.
"Your turn." Shego's grin turned into a smirk and she tilted her head to the bag. "We need a bellman."
"Oh I see...I'm the bellman?" asked Drakken. Shego nodded. "I would love to play along but my shoulder still hurts and my hand is sore."
"Uhg," Shego's eyes rolled as she scoffed and grabbed the bags. "Naturally, I do all the work."
"Shego, I have stitches," argued Drakken. He held up his hand.
"I'm going to give you more stitches," grumbled Shego as she shoved his bag in his arms. "Hope that's not too much for you, Drakken."
Drakken glared as Shego grabbed the rest of the bags and stomped off through the lobby doors. He moved to catch up with her, feeling the weekend-long argument that they were going to have.
"Fine. Just give me the bags," whined Drakken. "You're going to make a big deal out of it."
"Oh no. I got them," she snapped. "Wouldn't want you to strain yourself... I'm sure your hand got quite enough of a work-out last night."
"What's that supposed to...?" Drakken trailed off and then growled. "It did not!"
"Uh huh... Is that why your shoulder still hurts then?" She smirked, and her eyes narrowed at him.
"No it's because I fell in the moat again," Drakken remarked. He immediately regretted it.
"Well that's one way to kill a hard-on," she snorted.
"Must you be so crude?" He felt all the embarrassment from the night prior fade to anger. "We agreed not to talk about it anymore."
"Did I?" asked Shego. "Well maybe it's the physical strain of not having a bellman...corrupting my memory."
"Just tell me which room is mine," hissed Drakken as they reached the end of the long hall.
"This one," said Shego as she opened the door with her key.
"Where's yours?" asked Drakken. He didn't know why he asked; he knew the answer already.
"Where do you think? I had to take a room that was recently vacated before the maids came. There's some conference going on and I wasn't about to play around and waste time," said Shego.
"I'm sure there was another room—"
"Yes, I'm sure there was," Shego said with a glare. "I'm sorry, do you have a problem sharing a room with me? There are two beds in this one."
"I have a problem sharing a room with your attitude," retorted Drakken. "Clearly, we've had our limit of close proximity for the week."
Shego's expression became blank and he could already hear the comment before she said it.
"Well we both know...not all of you agrees with that statement." She crossed her arms and walked inside.
"Are you done?" He felt his face go warm with anger. "I'm sorry me being human brings you such amusement."
"What are you—" Shego began.
Drakken chose to shut her off as he walked around her and into the bathroom with his luggage in hand. He felt an immediate wave of different emotions hit him as he closed the door. Annoyance, amusement in some way, humiliation, anger, and self-pity. Self-pity was strongly winning over the others. He rubbed his face to try to shake off where his thoughts wanted to go and where his emotions wanted to follow. He looked at himself in the mirror and growled under his breath as his eyes had started to pick up a red pigment as his control over his emotions had almost let go. A shower would help. He looked around the bathroom and saw his plan to take a shower was foiled by the lack of towels.
I can't go back out...
"Shego, there are no towels," he said calmly. He hoped she would just go with it and not continue the fight.
"We need to talk about the elephant in the room," her voice was right at the door.
Drakken strung a series of words in his head that would make his mother faint. He hissed in anger and tried to will his eyes back to normal as he yanked open the door to deal with Shego.
"I'd really rather not," stated Drakken. "As much as you're enjoying jokes at my expense, it's really starting to get under my skin."
"The elephant, Drakken," glared Shego. "The actual elephant."
"What?" Drakken walked to where she'd moved into the suite.
Drakken froze next to her as she gestured to what she had been actually talking about. In the corner of the room stood a massive pink elephant lamp. He only knew this because it was giving off a pink glow in the dark room. Drakken remembered the pink card for the door and reached in his pocket to look at it.
"The Pink Elephant," stated Drakken. He looked back at the lamp.
Shego turned on the regular lights and they surveyed the suite.
"That's a lot of pink," whispered Shego. Drakken nodded. "All right. We need towels, you said."
"...Yes." Drakken had been so disturbed by the pink duvet he hadn't heard Shego at first. "This is a lot of ruffles."
"I'm imagining this is what DNAmy or Sweets's bedroom looks like...minus the elephant," Shego paused. "Actually I wouldn't put it past DNAmy."
"Carmella's bedroom was red," said Drakken as he pushed several pillows on the ground and looked at Shego. "We probably need sheets as the room hasn't been cleaned."
"What?" asked Shego after a beat, her mind clearly elsewhere. "Oh...yeah, good idea."
Drakken would have questioned her thoughts if he didn't think she was on the verge of making another joke at his expense. Since she'd brought up Sweets, there was no telling the jokes and retorts she may have geared up. He began yanking the sheets off the bed so they could change it when Shego got back. He jumped as he felt Shego's hands on his shoulders and reaching around to the front of his coat.
"What are you doing?" Drakken pushed her hands away and she rolled her eyes.
"Give me your coat. I can wash it since I'm going to raid the maid's laundry room anyways," she sighed. "If I had thought about it we should have brought more laundry. The maids should be done cleaning by now so it will probably be empty."
"How do you know so much about motels?" asked Drakken as he obliged and took off his coat.
"May I remind you of the copious amounts of time I've spent at the Villain's Inn? I doubt this place is more sophisticated than there." Shego tossed his coat over her arm. "As much as I hate to say it, you're going to have to stink longer. I'll bring the towels when I get back."
"I'll live," shrugged Drakken as he continued tossing the linens over the lamp.
"Well open a window at least... And unplug the lamp," Shego scoffed. "Let's not burn the place down."
"Why not? Miller's liable for it," Drakken joked. He got a snort from Shego.
"I'll be back." She vanished out the door and around the corner.
Drakken heard the door shut and felt a wash of relief hit him. He sat on the now-stripped bed and fell back. He stared at the ceiling for a few moments of mental silence, attempting to keep his thoughts away from his previous ones. It dawned on him that he'd packed stuff for his new plan ideas. He grinned as he dove to rummage through his bag and looked around the suite. A makeshift desk sat in the corner and he felt a sudden hit of euphoria as he had a place to work on his next evil scheme.
Shego tossed Drakken's coat and a few other things in the giant washing machine and hit the start button. She'd already placed a small cart aside with towels, linens, and other supplies by the door. It would be easier to just wheel them back to the room. She looked at the contents of Drakken's pockets that she'd pulled out. The room key, some sort of thumb drive, hard candies, a knitting needle, and the hover car keys. She rolled her eyes at the candies and unwrapped one.
"He's like an old woman," she snorted and popped it in her mouth. "At least they're still good."
When did he see Sweets' room? She was at our lair.
Shego tossed the wrapper near the bin and shook her head. That was not what she needed to fixate on today or ever. It wasn't like he had seen it recently.
None of my business if he did.
She strained herself to focus on something else and then her mind fell back to his words before ducking into the bathroom. She'd made a few jokes, some more for her own enjoyment because he was acting weird... She realized that he might have thought she was cruelly mocking him.
All right, we drop it. If he wants to ghost over the whole evening, might as well.
She nodded to herself.
I'm still bringing up space camp.
She smiled and looked at the clock. Her stomach let out a gurgle. The last thing she'd eaten was cookies and burnt popcorn the previous evening. It was past noon now. She hopped off the counter she'd taken to sitting on and headed out of the room. There had to be a place to buy some food. She reached in her pocket to feel for her room key and smirked as she pulled out their newly acquired money.
"Thank you Mr. Miller." She paused and grabbed a few towels. "Better drop these off for Drakken before I go."
Drakken hadn't been aware how much he'd longed for a hot shower until he'd finally had one. He was grateful that Shego had dropped off the towels before she went on some undisclosed adventure. He resumed his work on his plans as he took his seat.
Now to focus and get back to work
He sniffed himself.
Alright, Shego was right. I really did smell before.
While his latest plans would have to wait until after the holidays, they would give him ample time to work on them. He tapped his pen against his still-damp head as he tried to figure out the volume he would need to turn a portable dome into a hazardous vacuum. He heard the door open and Shego return again.
"All right, coat's cleaned," came Shego's voice and his coat was tossed over his head.
"Shego, I'm trying to work," he scoffed as he yanked his coat off his head and tossed it on the dresser.
"Take a break and eat," said Shego as put down a bag in front of him. "Not my usual meal choice, but there's nothing around here but fast food."
"We have a kitchen. We could have made something," suggested Drakken.
"Fine. Tomorrow you can make us dinner," said Shego as she rummaged through bags.
"Where's your food?" asked Drakken as he opened his.
"I ate it when I went to the shop across the road," said Shego as she pulled out a swimsuit. "There's a pool and hot tub here and I will not pass that up. I hadn't thought about packing a suit."
"It looks like you bought more than a swimsuit. Our budget is tight—" Drakken was cut off.
"I just gained us a few hundred bucks. I can spend some cash for things we need," said Shego. She glared and tossed something at him.
"What's this?" asked Drakken as he shook out the fabric. "Why did you get me these swim trunks?"
"Did you miss the part where I said pool and hot tub?" replied Shego with a raised brow.
"Pass," said Drakken as he tossed them back at her. "I have work to do."
"You can spare an hour to relax in a hot tub," Shego said and rolled her eyes.
"Not interested. Perhaps we can return those," said Drakken as he waved his hand.
He rolled his eyes as he picked up his pen. The idea of lounging around the hotel pool was ridiculous. That would take time from his plans for world domination. There would be plenty of future time for relaxing and lounging after his plans succeeded. He ate his sandwich and went back to working on the formula.
"As glad as I am that you're back to scheming... After all the time you wasted lounging around the lair...taking off another hour won't delay you. You're taking off from villainy for the holiday anyway," he heard Shego counter.
"I will still be working then. Shego, that hour could be the difference between the correct formula solution and having to start all over to try to refocus for a whole day. Have fun at the pool." He scratched out the wrong number again.
"You know, if I was on vacation right now..." Shego began and Drakken turned around to look at her. "You know what... Never-mind. Have fun with your plans, Dr. D."
Drakken didn't have time to retort as she grabbed the bag with her swimsuit in it and stormed out of the hotel room. Drakken held his hands up in confusion. He, for the life of him, couldn't figure out why she'd seemed so upset. If she was on vacation, she would have most likely been relaxing on a beach by herself. He looked at the swim trunks she'd left on the closest bed and shook his head as he turned around.
One moment she's mocking me and then next she wants to go swimming?
Drakken was not in the mood to continue dwelling on the roller coaster of thoughts and emotions he'd been on since last night. The shower and focusing on his work had managed to steer him in the right direction and he was not being detoured. He glanced back at the swim trunks again. He tapped the desk with his pen and shook his head.
What could possibly be gained by focusing on something other than my plans?
Shego walked down the hall back toward the room with zero relaxation accomplished. She'd swam in the pool and attempted to relax in the hot tub... It hadn't worked. The pool was too cold and the massive hot tub was just pathetic. It had been silent save for the bubbles and her own movements in the water. It was surprising how empty it had been. When she'd been looking at the computer when she'd checked them in, most of the rooms were booked for a conference. It was nearly three now, so most conferences should have been drawing to a close. She heard men's voices up ahead and looked.
Several men were walking down the hall laughing and breaking off into different directions. Some looked like they had in fact come back from some sort of business seminar, a few were in casual wear, and one had just joined them from a room. He looked out of place wearing swim trunks, but they all greeted him. Shego chose to step aside as they all dispersed. She was already in a foul mood and she didn't feel like dealing with anyone. She wasn't even sure how many times she'd walked around the hallways avoiding going back to her room.
The last of the men vanished to their rooms and the one wearing trunks walked past her, clearly headed to the pool. She sighed and supposed she should get back to the room and shower the chlorine off of herself so her hair didn't frizz out.
"Hey! It's you!"
Shego looked over her shoulder as she heard a man's voice. Her brow rose as she realized it was the man in the swim trunks. She looked him up and down in confusion. Did she know him? His dark hair and eyes did seem to draw some memory. He squinted at her and lowered his glasses back down to look at her with a smile. The memory of a polo shirt, radio music, and the smell of leather seats hit her as it clicked who he was.
"Dean?"
Swim this way -
