Lighting the Christmas Tree Villain-Style
The drawing of chatter and the beat of the music below did little to curb Shego's boredom. She leaned against the railings as she waited for Drakken and Ed to show back up. She could have just gone and grabbed Drakken and they could have left. She assumed the moment the two returned they would anyway. She crossed her arms and stared at the tops of the large trees and let out a deep sigh. She really hoped Drakken didn't act weird after that kiss. It was just all part of the game.
You tried to escalate it.
She glared at the trees, not sure if her agitation was because she had in fact tried to escalate it...or if it was because he hadn't gone along with it. She let out a soft groan at her own thoughts now, choosing to go get another drink if she was about to play yet another silly game. She chastised her own actions in the game as she began walking along the platform. How many signals could he give or blatantly tell her? There was absolutely nothing going on between them... And had he played along with the game...it would be the gossip of their villain circle.
She took a deep breath and tried to clear her head. She could see the drinks were scarce at the table. She slowed her pace and began taking in who had remained for the new game. Monkey Fist, Cleopatra, and Pandora were idly chatting over in the corner, Monkey Fist still perched on the railing. She heard the word 'Tibet' and assumed the three were talking about rare artifacts and power sources. DNAmy and Carmella were laughing loudly about something DNAmy had said. Shego was pretty sure it was some sort of experiment... Shego raised a brow and shuddered. She hoped for the world's sake those two weren't working on something together.
Dementor was getting more alcohol—what was left of it—as he and Hermes talked in hushed whispers. Dementor's eyes darted to Camille, and Shego wondered if a double-cross was happening or if the former heiress was being surprised with some rare gemstone that Hermes acquired. She looked to where Camille was looking at her phone with narrowed eyes. A majority of people had gone... Adrena and Lucre weren't there...and she had a sudden instinct to avoid that monster sleigh on the way out. As she looked at Camille on her own, it seemed the safer conversation. Shego glanced over Camille's shoulder and saw a series of text messages that she was scrolling quickly through.
"Latest gossip?" asked Shego.
Camille hurriedly put her phone away and spun to look at Shego. If it weren't for the off lighting up there, she might have thought she saw a look of sadness ghost the girl's face. It was gone in an instant if she had, replaced by a bored and smug smirk that Shego had to give her credit for.
"Is there any other reason to text?" she laughed. "Looks like the tabloids have more facts than my contacts. Such as the sad day when you can't get it from the show-dog's mouth."
"Which gossip?" asked Shego. She tried to remember the last time she'd paid attention to the gossip part of her magazines.
"The selling of some one of a kind items," sighed Camille. "Trying to figure out the best approach to get a few of them without notice."
"Walk in and out," Shego gestured to her face. "Isn't that what you normally do."
"Wish it was that easy for this one," stated Camille. She looked at her phone. "I hope this game doesn't take too long. Debutante can only handle Hassie and Strudel for so long."
"Who?" asked Shego. She knew one was the hairless cat from the retreat.
"Her kittens. Strudel and Hassie... Well his name is actually... Oh I'll butcher it," said Camille. "Prof, how do you say Hassie's name?"
"Hasenpfeffer," called out Dementor before resuming his conversation with Hermes.
"Yeah, that," said Camille with a shrug.
"Hmm, interesting," Shego nodded. She looked towards the stairs for Drakken.
Yeah... Drakken and I are definitely going to be talking about this later.
"Oh my gosh, Shego. Can you believe Adrena?" asked Camille snidely. Shego's focus was pulled back.
"You're going to have to narrow that down," replied Shego. "She does a lot of things I wouldn't believe if I didn't see it."
"Her and that internet scam artist. Yuck," scoffed Camille. Shego raised a brow. "Talk about low standards."
"I don't think you should be judging in her taste right now," said Shego. She looked closely at Camille for reactions. "With men?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Camille. She rolled her eyes. "Uhg, are you referring to that tabloid scam a few years ago with Dustin Woodriver? Yeah that was publicity for his new album. I would never date a pop star. Ew."
Shego was about to steer the conversation to Dementor, but the sound of voices and thumps on the metal staircase interrupted her. She turned towards the sound as she caught sight of Drakken and Ed hauling up the coolers of fresh alcohol for the table. Shego had to stop herself from laughing at Drakken's bitter expression as he practically tossed the cooler by the railing. There was no doubt in her mind it was time to go. She watched Drakken roll his eyes and tilt his head at Ed. Any concerns she had about it being awkward fell away as he walked towards her.
"Ready to leave?" asked Shego.
Drakken gave a relieved half-smile before it fell into a frown and he let out a groan.
"I told Eddie we would stay," sighed Drakken. "At least for the game."
"Seriously?" asked Shego.
"Don't... Don't say that word," replied Drakken with a narrowed brow.
Shego was about to inquire how he'd caved to this request...but her eyes drifted to the table of alcohol. If he hadn't wanted to play the last game, she was certain he wouldn't like this one. The quick image of he and Cleopatra's boozy make-out session came back. She glared ahead. She was not eager for a repeat of that and wondered if she could convince him to break his word to Ed and just leave. Her hand rested on his shoulder.
He leaned towards her without even the slightest glance and turned his ear towards her. Shego opened her mouth to respond but she looked towards where he was looking. Carmella was giggling about something with Pandora and Hermes and grabbing one of the drinks Ed was passing out. Shego felt like she'd eaten something foul. A strange ice-like twinge down her entire spine accompanied it. Suddenly her mind went blank and she quickly retracted her hand from Drakken's shoulder.
Drakken looked at her with a confused expression. Shego shook her head and gave a shrug of ill importance. She watched as his eyes went back to watching Carmella. Shego felt that twinge again and found her hand sliding behind her neck. She began absent-mindedly massaging it as she watched Drakken. What was he thinking? She hoped it was tossing the tiny blonde over the railing for biting his partner... But something in his awkward shifting made her doubt that.
"Is your neck okay?" asked DNAmy. Shego jumped to turn around towards the voice. "You keep rubbing it."
"It's fine," said Shego as she yanked her hand away. "Just...a little stiff."
"If you want I could help. I'm excellent with massages," grinned DNAmy.
"Uh, no thanks," Shego gave a nervous smile. "Maybe later."
Shego folded her arms and mentally snapped at herself for not keeping her guard up better. She shouldn't even care that Drakken was looking over at his one-time girlfriend. It wasn't like there was anything between she and Drakken save for a partnership and an admitted friendship. Her brow furrowed as she looked at the Christmas tree tops.
He can look at the bouncy little candy brat all he wants.
Shego glanced at Drakken. She had to know.
"What are you gawking at?" nudged Shego. She put on her best casual smirk. "Plotting blondie's demise like me... A new scam even? I thought you were over mind control."
"Hmm? What? I wasn't doing...any of that," said Drakken. He looked flustered and Shego's jaw stiffened and her throat felt tight.
"Oh... Ew. Are you actually thinking about hooking up with her?" asked Shego. She felt her own nails dig into her arm.
"I don't do that sort of thing and you know it," hissed Drakken. He looked around and then glared at her. "Not that it's any of your concern but—"
"Ohm... Well, last time she practically lived at our lair and enjoyed annoying me on the daily," said Shego. "As your partner...I don't want a repeat."
Drakken's mouth opened and closed and he suddenly seemed stiffer.
"I could say the same about Dean... What if I have an idea while you're off on some date," said Drakken dismissively. Shego raised a brow.
Something in her chest twinged as she thought she heard a hint of jealousy in his tone. It was quickly diminished by his actual statement. He'd be more worried about her being distracted... It wasn't like she had any plans to go out with the guy again. He was nice enough and he had access to certain highly sought-after information... But she hadn't returned his calls or made any plans to do so. She wanted to state this but her agitation won over as she glanced at Carmella.
"Well considering your ideas have been few and far between as of late... I don't think I'd have to worry," was her sharp statement as she turned to look at the drink table.
She saw Drakken's shoulders slump but didn't care to look at his expression. Especially as his arms crossed and she guessed he was trying to come back with a snarky comment of his own. She turned further from him and focused on her nails. She never heard him respond and she felt smug... A full minute went by and she felt a sudden realization at her words. It had probably come out more hurtful than sassy.
She scoffed and was about to mutter an apology, or as close as she could come to verbally saying one, but Ed cut in before she could.
"Seriously, let's get our drink on... Whoa," Ed took Monkey Fist's from him. "No one drinks in the game unless they do the deed."
"What deed?" sighed Monkey Fist. He glared. "I'm not kissing any more people. A lot of you need breath mints."
Perfect subject change.
"Some need flea powder," muttered Shego. She leaned towards Drakken and looked up at him with a smirk.
Her smirk fell away as she saw the blank space next to her. She scanned the area to see where he could have gone. A sneer made its way to her lips. He had his hand on Carmella's shoulder as he reached around her for a drink and was giving her one of his 'charming' smiles. Shego felt her skin crawl before a wave of anger came over her. She pulled her arms closer and took a step towards Duff and DNAmy, choosing instead to focus on the game.
"All right. Since some aren't familiar with the game, seriously...super lame. Goal is to get the other people as hammered as seriously possible. Someone says: 'Never have I ever'... something they have or have not done... And if you have...drink. If not...don't. Simple right?" said Ed. He shook his head at Monkey Fist who shrugged.
Shego's shoulders dropped and she felt internally embarrassed. This was not like the game she'd played with her brothers and the few friends that came to Go Tower. For that version you only held up fingers and put them down if you'd done it. She was starting to wonder how many party games she was actually unfamiliar with. While she'd socialized at villain parties when she'd first become a villain, there had never actually been games... Just plotting and gossip. She was glad no one had noticed her expression.
"We'll start off normal, but we seriously gotta get to this crazy-ass book," laughed Ed. He passed it to Dementor who'd been leaning towards him.
"Villain or Not. A Guide to know if someone you love is secretly a Villain?" asked Dementor. He snorted as a few laughs broke out, "Mein Gott! What next?"
"Do we have to sit in a circle again?" asked Monkey Fist as he perched on the railing with his drink bitterly.
"We just gotta go in order," said Camille as she leaned against the railing and sighed. "I'll start. Never Have I ever...hooked up back with an ex to get my things back?"
Shego looked around the circle as nearly half took a drink. She looked around to grab a glass, though she couldn't remember a time to drink to this one. She heard an annoying snort of laughter. Her eyes found Carmella nearly choking on her drink as Drakken whispered something to her. She watched the blonde laugh and rolled her eyes.
"I doubt it was that funny," she heard Duff remark.
"It is Drakken's joke, so you're probably right," smiled Shego.
"I dunno. You and Drakkie were really giggling while we played spin the bottle. He must have been funny then," said DNAmy. Shego glared.
She felt something cold touch her hand. She looked to see a bottle of something fruity being held out to her by Drakken. He resumed his spot next to her and held up his own bottle of the same coloring.
"Look who's back," whispered Duff under his breath.
"Get bored with her that fast?" asked Shego as she grabbed the drink and focused ahead of them.
"I went to get drinks," said Drakken. There was a slight smirk on his lips that made Shego roll her eyes.
She was certain her last snide comment had been the reason he'd gone over there, so she kept any further comments to herself. However... She glanced back over to Carmella, who had narrowed her eyes. It took Shego less than a second to realize the blonde was more than a little agitated that Drakken had decided he held better company with her.
Shego took a rather close step to Drakken so his arm was touching hers. Carmella's scowl deepened at this and something about it made Shego feel much better. She fought a grin as Drakken moved his arm behind her to rest on the railing she stood next to. She knew Drakken was just getting comfortable where he stood but to Carmella it must have looked like he had his arm around her waist. The look that Carmella had on her face was the best revenge for the bite.
I'd still rather shove her over the railing...
"My turn," said Dementor with a deep thought on his face. "Never have I ever...been a test guinea pig without my knowledge."
Shego didn't miss the few looks towards Carmella and smirked as she sipped her drink smugly. She looked at Drakken and then around. She was surprised to see everyone had taken a drink.
"Seems it comes with the job," muttered Shego.
"You see, when I told you that, you tried to kill me," smirked Drakken.
"If I had wanted to kill you, you'd be dead," said Shego.
"True," shrugged Drakken. He smirked. "That's because you like me."
"Right," scoffed Shego. She looked at his smug smirk as he focused on the game.
You have no idea...
Drakken wasn't exactly sure how long the game was intended to be but he'd taken a seat against the railing and had barely even touched his second drink. He glanced at Shego next to him, fixing his coat's sequins as it was once again across her lap. Her drink was in the same boat as his. He was still shocked that he'd apparently done more questionable things than her. He supposed the statements had been rather simple, but still. He rolled his eyes at yet another mundane statement and watched as Shego sighed and took a drink.
"So...you dated a teacher?" asked Drakken casually.
"You made out with your friend's mom?" responded Shego dryly.
"Ramesh's mother was quite attractive," scoffed Drakken.
"Attractive or desperate?" smirked Shego. Drakken rolled his eyes as he turned to look at DNAmy talk.
"Never have I ever," DNAmy giggled as she grabbed her second drink. "Committed a felony."
"If one person doesn't drink, you're kicked out the game," laughed Duff as he downed the rest of his second drink. "Keep on those ones... My drink's gone piss-warm."
"Cheers," snorted Shego as she held up her drink to Drakken's.
Drakken smirked and clanked his glass to hers. He cleared his throat as Duff looked towards him.
"Never have I ever...gotten a tattoo," shrugged Drakken. He drank.
"If you have more than one," laughed Camille. "Finish the drink!"
Drakken downed his drink. Pandora and Camille were the only ones who did the same. Ed, Monkey Fist and Cleopatra only drank once. Drakken looked at Shego with a raised brow as he tried to down the warm drink that had still been half full. She indicated to herself and shook her head no.
"Whoa! Cuz, seriously. You have more tats than me?" asked Ed with wide eyes. "Nah uh, seriously?!"
"How many? I have two," said Camille. "A butterfly on my shoulder and cat on my ankle."
"I've got a phrase on my side and two stupid drunken ones I got in college on my thigh and rear. One's a cover up," said Pandora. All eyes fell on Drakken.
"A few. Arm and back," said Drakken.
"Don't lie," snorted Shego. Drakken raised a brow at her devious smirk. "You have my name on your ass."
Drakken choked into his drink with a laugh. He could easily have said he did not, but instead he said nothing. Shego's expression looked more comical as the silence continued. He didn't even look at the others as they laughed. Shego's smug look turned to wide eyed amusement.
"Do you?!" she asked and shoved him.
"I don't know...maybe," laughed Drakken as another drink rolled his way.
"If you ever want to cover it up, a lotus flower is a really good one," said Pandora as a new drink was tossed her way.
Drakken chose to not answer to that or the looks. He was having far too much fun with Shego's reaction. He chose not to acknowledge the head shake he was getting from Ed or the snarky looks from Monkey Fist and Duff as their alcohol was starting to kick in.
"You're up, Shego," said Drakken.
"Fine," Shego was looking at him with a questioning look. "Never have I ever flashed my tattoo at a villain holiday party."
"Hmm, lucky me, I have more than one," muttered Drakken.
He rolled up his sleeve as everyone proceeded to show their tattoos. Camille was showing off the tiny cat on her ankle as she took off her boot. Pandora had raised the hem of her purple dress to show a lotus flower on her thigh. Drakken didn't get a chance to see the others because Ed called out to him.
"Does that say 'mom'?" asked Ed with a laugh.
"Does yours say 'Ed'?" responded Drakken. "Yes, it says Mother."
There was running and laughing up the stairs and Adrena came sprinting into view with Lucre behind her, both clearly still intoxicated by the way they were giggling. Adrena froze and looked around at the group and at everyone's various showings of ink.
"Are we showing tattoos? Yes!" laughed Adrena. She looked at her dress. "I have one on my ribs."
"We believe you," said Cleopatra quickly. "We count it."
"What are we playing?" asked Lucre as he fell next to Drakken against the railing. "Oh cool. Your mom tattoo. I liked that one."
"I want to see the other one," said Shego. Drakken snorted at her annoyed expression. "Come on. Were you being serious or sarcastic?"
Lucre raised a brow and leaned towards Drakken.
"Is she talking about..."
Drakken shoved a drink in Lucre's face.
"I don't think I should have anymore," muttered Lucre. He took the drink.
Drakken turned back towards the game as a drink was tossed at him courtesy of his cousin. He glanced at Lucre and hoped he would find something else to fixate on when more alcohol hit his blood stream. He felt Shego lean on his shoulder and looked at her. Her eyes narrowed as if she was trying to look through clothing.
"What happens if your pants catch fire?" she asked casually. Drakken suddenly felt uncomfortable.
"I was joking... You're the one who said it," Drakken gently pushed her away from him.
"Well now how do I know. You didn't clarify...which means it's true or even more embarrassing," said Shego. "Is there one on your butt?"
"You told everyone about that?" snorted Lucre in his drink.
Drakken's jaw tightened and he glared at Lucre. Lucre's eyes went wide and even in his drunken state...he had the right state of mind to become highly focused on his drink. Drakken let out a deep sigh and looked past Shego and towards DNAmy, whose turn it was. However, it looked like she was explaining to Adrena what they were playing.
"If my name might be on your ass, I feel I have a right to see...for proof of either," said Shego. "I will invoke truth or dare and will find a way if you don't show me."
"...Nope," said Drakken smugly as he waited.
"I got you," laughed Adrena as he saw her nudge Shego. "Never have I ever gotten naked at a party. An easy fix if you haven't."
Drakken suddenly wished he'd gone to that skinny-dipping party in high school after prom, because he was shocked to see he was in fact one of the only ones. Only Hermes, Carmella, and Shego didn't drink. He raised a brow at Shego who side-glanced over at DNAmy. Adrena looked at him from around Shego.
"All right, now is the time to fix that," said Adrena with a broad grin towards those who hadn't drank. "Come on—"
"Seriously, it's not gonna be that kinda party," said Ed with a serious expression. "Seriously, no."
"But what if it was?" asked Adrena with a hopeful smile.
"No," said Ed.
"But—"
"No."
"What—"
"No."
"Come on, think of the freaky fun it could be," said Adrena who had gotten to her feet to encourage this.
Ed stared at her and held out his hand. Drakken watched as Adrena's smile faded as she looked between her drink and the hand. She let out a defeated sigh and handed over her drink before slumping back next to Shego.
"I tried," sighed Adrena.
"Are we going to read this book?" asked Dementor. His face tinted pink from his consumption. "The... The villain book of villainy."
"That's a much better title," said Camille patting his arm. "You should write that book."
"You could handle the press," laughed Dementor. Camille looked giddy.
"Only the best would come to the press conference," she grinned. She gave the room a serious look. "Most of you wouldn't make the guest list, sorry."
"Camille," said Dementor seriously.
"Oh right," Camille rolled her eyes and smirked. "Totally, not sorry."
"Sehr gutt, mein kind," said Dementor approvingly.
"What did he say?" asked Drakken. Shego shook her head. "I thought you were bi-languist."
He heard Shego take a deep slow breath and sigh.
"...Bi-lingual... And I know an array of small parts of languages, mostly things involving evil," retorted Shego.
"That's not helpful," mumbled Drakken.
"At least I know the word bi-lingual," muttered Shego. Drakken glared at her but chose to focus as the book opened.
"Okay, so I'll just read this, seriously," laughed Ed. "Anyone who drinks to this, gets some serious mad cred."
"I'm really excited now," grinned Monkey Fist as he got closer.
"I would be...if I had something to drink," sighed Adrena. Drakken saw Shego give hers to her. "...I love you She-She."
Shego's eyes shot open and she glared at Drakken. Drakken pretended to not see this and moved closer to the group and away from Shego. He had no idea why, even with some alcohol is his blood, he'd called her that to begin with. He certainly hadn't been aware he'd said it loud enough for other villains to hear. He nearly buckled his legs as Shego grabbed his belt to pull herself up. He glared and grabbed her hands to yank her up.
"You were fine," she said smugly. "I was just trying to get help up."
"Yes, I'm so sure," glared Drakken as he let go of her hands and stepped away from her.
"...I'm not giving up on seeing... We do live together," said Shego in a low whisper. "I will find a way."
"No, you won't," he whispered in the same manner back.
"We'll see," muttered Shego as Ed began to read.
"All right, so seriously... I'm gonna read some of these 'warnings' as 'nevers,'" snorted Ed. "Never have I ever snuck into a villain's lair to collect something I thought, dangerous...but was pretty."
"We're gonna get so drunk," snorted Pandora as everyone took a drink.
"I want my rubies back," glared Cleopatra at the two.
"Take it up with Anubis," said Hermes and Pandora.
"We could steal them back," smirked Hermes.
"For a fee," finished Pandora.
"Who here has my influx capacitor battery?" asked Dementor with narrowed eyes.
Drakken and Shego looked at each other and smirked.
"We might have had it at one point," snorted Shego.
"It went missing," shrugged Drakken with a grin.
"I have it," said Cleopatra. "I stole it when we were working on that laser."
"That reminds me," said Monkey Fist as he looked at DNAmy. "I want my Japanese bow staff back."
"No idea what you're talking about," grinned DNAmy.
"This is why none of you get invited to the Seniors's place," said Camille with a smile.
"Speak for yourself," said Shego. "They know very well I have that Ming vase."
Drakken choked on his drink.
"The umbrella stand?" asked Drakken with wide eyes.
"Worth more than half the lair," whispered Shego.
"Okay, none of us can be trusted with shiny objects... What's next?" asked Lucre with a grin. Drakken looked at him.
"Whose lair did you steal from?" asked Drakken with narrowed eyes.
"If you didn't notice anything missing...then it wasn't yours," said Lucre with an innocent grin.
"Lucre..." Drakken raised a brow.
"Whatever it was, we all know you stole it from one of us," snorted Ed. Drakken glared. "Never have I ever participated in a cult orgy...shit."
There were sounds of laughter and Drakken rolled his eyes. His laughter stopped as he saw Monkey Fist take a drink. The laughter died off.
"Bro?" said Ed with wide eyes. Monkey Fist shrugged.
"Haven't any of you been to Thailand?" asked Monkey Fist as he looked around. "We've all been fifteen and made mistakes on holidays. Don't single me out."
"No one joined a cult orgy," said Duff indicating to the group.
"I mean...we could do it now," shrugged Adrena. There were some concerned looks. "What? The only reason I can't drink to this because my producers didn't let me at the time."
"Seriously...that's...that's questionable," said Ed as he flipped the page. "Never have I ever tried to reanimate the dead."
Drakken looked at Ed and they both rolled their eyes before taking a drink. Monkey Fist and DNAmy drank as well.
"Question," said Camille.
"Dog," said Ed and Drakken.
"Hell-beast," said Monkey Fist.
"A dodo bird," said DNAmy. Drakken looked at Shego.
"If you say one word..." Shego's look was serious.
He bit back the joke he could make about finding a dodo bird at DNAmy's.
"But did it work?" asked Cleopatra after a solid second of silence.
"...Moving on," said DNAmy.
"Right...okay," Ed raised a brow but smirked. "Dr. Frankenstein over there is deflecting. Seriously. Never have I ever...back-stabbed or double-crossed a family member or friend."
Everyone drank.
"We are all not to be trusted," grinned Dementor. "What good company we all have."
"Cheers to that," laughed Monkey Fist as he finished off his drink and got another.
"Never have I ever plotted out a full-on deadly revenge plan," said Ed.
Everyone drank but DNAmy and Hermes.
"I'm going to need the whole bottle at this rate," said Monkey Fist as he in fact grabbed a large bottle.
"Aye, stop your perching on the railings you drunken primate," snapped Duff as Monkey Fist was about to do so.
"That one was easy...okay," said Ed with a smirk. "Never have I ever been part of an evil family."
Drakken watched as very few drank but there was a wave of slight joy as Shego rolled her eyes at him and drank. Apart from them and Ed, Camille and Dementor were the only others who drank.
"Man...that's rough guys, seriously," Ed cringed as he looked around the room and raised his glass towards Drakken and Shego. "Mia famiglia."
"Someone's been watching The Godfather too much," said Shego. Drakken snorted into his drink.
"It's a good movie, seriously Green, don't hate on a classic," snorted Ed. "Never have I ever played or been affected by a cursed and dangerous item. Babe that's you."
Cleopatra rolled her eyes at Ed's comment but drank. Drakken watched Monkey Fist do the same and looked at his glass. A sudden flash of the fogged memory of the treasure chest hit him. As he drank his eyes caught where Hermes watched Pandora drink and then him. Drakken's phantom pain in his hands came back and he suddenly was hoping this game would end soon.
"I seriously want to see Cleopatra's freaky collection. I hear she's got some crazy things," said Adrena to Shego. Drakken focused on this as Ed flipped more pages.
"I'm sure Pandora has some questionable things too," said Shego. Drakken noted her glance towards the women in question.
"Most cursed items are only myths," said Drakken. Shego nodded.
"Never have I ever run someone over and laughed about it?" asked Ed. He took a drink. "Chill, seriously, they lived."
"Mine didn't," said Monkey Fist as he drank.
"Mine was in traction for a week," said Camille. "Teach a man not to call me back."
"What's the red pages?" asked Monkey Fist as he waved at the book. He slightly stumbled.
"Oh, yeah, it's like serious shit," said Ed as he flipped to it. "Like, never have I ever committed or plotted a genocide for pure enjoyment."
Monkey Fist shrugged and drank.
"When?" asked Duff with wide eyes.
"We all go through teen angst," Monkey Fist shrugged. "It would have worked if my father hadn't sent me off to boarding school."
"How?" asked Dementor casually. Camille looked at him. "Not to do, but to avoid."
"Easy," laughed Monkey Fist. "Switch out a single vaccination with the opposite of what it's fighting."
"...How old were you?" asked Shego. Drakken raised a brow.
"Sixteen... I wasn't too happy about being kicked out of my cult," shrugged Monkey Fist.
"Okay, seriously concerning," Ed glanced at the drinks. "Never have I ever used a living person as payment for goods. Fuck!"
Monkey Fist drank slowly and looked around the group.
"Oh, please. I can't be the only one! Drakken? Shego was your side-kick. You never traded her skills out for an exchange?" asked Monkey Fist at everyone's expression.
"Absolutely not—"
"He would not be standing here right now—"
Drakken felt very uncomfortable as everyone looked their way. Shego might have helped when he was working with other villains or may have lent a hand of her own accord to others while she was his side-kick. He may have even asked her to get something for someone else for a trade... But the mere notion that Monkey Fist had thought he might made him feel ill.
"Bates was more than happy for the trade," grumbled Monkey Fist as he downed another drink. "Next!"
"Right," muttered Ed. "Never have I ever caused physical harm to myself for an evil conquest."
Drakken watched as a majority drank. Camille was massaging her face a bit and a few were looking at their hands and feet. He drank and shook his head. If no one had harmed themselves in the name of evil...were they even evil? He saw Lucre still slumped against the railing with Adrena. Either they hadn't heard or they were very much on the low spectrum of evil. Drakken was pretty sure it was the latter of the choices.
"Seriously, on that note," Ed finished his drink. "Never have I ever broken or maimed a person who had my best interest at heart because of evil intentions."
"Are we counting family for this?" asked Adrena. "Because I think we can all drink to being someone's disappointment."
"Wow! Just insult everyone in one hit," smirked Pandora.
"Is she wrong?" asked Carmella. Cleopatra nodded.
"...All right, moving past that one... Seriously... Never have I ever...participated in a human sacrifice, seriously...whoa?" asked Ed as he flipped through the pages.
Monkey Fist turned from the others and drank. Drakken saw his eyes dart around him.
"Did you just drink to that?" asked Adrena with wide eyes.
Monkey Fist glared.
"I didn't say I was proud of it!" he retorted.
"You need therapy," said Dementor.
"Who the heck wrote this book?" asked Shego as she snatched it from Ed.
Drakken was curious as well, a majority of the villains practically would laugh at these horrible horror movie cliches. Though as he glanced at Monkey Fist, he wondered who else might be a little less sane then even he claimed to be. His eyes went wide at a few Ed had skipped over and for good reason. Most were ones that if someone in the group admitted to, he might not be able to look at them again... Either that or they all needed more alcohol.
"This is insane," said Shego as she flipped over the cover. "What kind of weirdo spends his free time making a list of warnings that vary from pickpocketing to serial killing... That's a huge jump."
"Someone with a lot of time on their hands and internet access," said Drakken. He looked at the name and bit his lip to stop a laugh. "Shego."
"...H. Go..." said Shego. She flipped to the back. "A product of Go City publishing house."
Drakken watched Shego's eyes narrow as she flipped to the front and he snorted as he read it. Shego shoved him away from her.
"'Dedicated to my darling little sister... Because... Because psychology class did nothing,'" Drakken laughed as he quoted it.
He could feel the water behind his eyes as he tried to regain his composure. Shego was glaring at it as she flipped aggressively through the pages. He realized no one around them knew the real reason he was laughing. He moved closer to Shego to read over her shoulder. He put on his best smug expression and loomed over her shoulder.
"This is infuriating," hissed Shego. "He wrote all of these stupid, insane, evil things...like who does this stuff?"
"Are you more upset that he wrote it and dedicated it...or because you haven't done a majority of these?" asked Drakken casually.
Shego slammed the book shut and tossed it on the table where everyone was gathering more alcohol as the game had ended. He watched her cross her arms and glared at the book in question. He was about to sigh and make his best attempt at lightening the mood and bring up his new slight concern for Monkey Fist, however, Shego finally replied.
"Like 40/60," she muttered. Drakken smirked. "When we leave there's a few felonies we need to commit."
"Sounds like a fun plan...but the red pages seem like something you should talk to Monkey Fist about," said Drakken. Shego glared at him. "Although Adrena seems in favor of the cult thing."
"Orgy," said Shego. Drakken scowled. "Well I'm over this evening. We played the game... I'm even willing to pass on dancing."
"The book bothers you this much?" asked Drakken.
He raised a brow and looked over the thinning of people on the dance floor. Shego leaned next to him and shrugged at the crowd. Drakken watched her finish the rest of her drink that had no effect on her and seemed not to add to whatever slight effect she might have had earlier. Drakken put the rest of his in the garbage and stared.
He considered for a minute and thought about booking it out of there, but his eyes caught sight of Ed who had somehow left the platform and was down on the dance floor. He searched for where the shimmer of gold under the lights was and true to Ed's statement...Carmella and Cleopatra were hip to hip.
Drakken gripped the railing and sighed. He hated the strange obligation he felt...or the annoyance of Ed spreading gossip that wasn't true... But now everyone knew the blonde mullet motor head was his cousin.
"I think I want to dance for a little while," said Drakken.
Shego's head spun to look at him, a cocky smirk on her lips.
"Really? You want to dance?" asked Shego. Her smirk turned into a smile. "I'm shocked."
"Me too," sighed Drakken.
"You complained all night about wanting to go...but now you want to dance?" her smile made Drakken feel a little more at ease.
"I did tell Eddie I'd stay for a bit," sighed Drakken. "You okay with it?"
"Well," he heard her mutter. "I suppose sticking around for a few dances isn't so bad."
"Good," sighed Drakken in relief. "Give me about three songs."
Drakken darted to the stairs.
"I'll meet you by the hover car," grinned Drakken. Shego's face was expressionless as she turned towards him.
"You'll meet me..." Shego's brows furrowed and she looked over the railing. "You want to... Just three songs?"
"Four at the most," said Drakken as he headed down the ladder.
Three songs should be more than enough time to get Carmella away from Cleopatra for Ed. He hoped Ed was as charming as he was, because he wasn't staying longer than that. He shot a glance at Ed, who was talking to some brunette and a few henchmen. His glance may have looked more like a glare at having to do such a juvenile thing. He regretted not finishing that horrible drink as he got closer to where the two women stood near some trees chatting.
Apart from making a snide jest about Eddie earlier, and the brief chat at the retreat...he hadn't really spoken to Carmella since that horrible masquerade party, the most being the thirty seconds while with Shego trying to solve a scavenger hunt. He glanced up towards Shego wondering if he should have clued her in and gotten some help. He could see the shimmer of Shego's dress but the lighting only showed her silhouette through the railing besides that.
"This is childish," muttered Drakken as Ed walked next to him.
"Right up your alley then," smirked Ed. Drakken glared and turned. "Seriously, fine...it's just for a few minutes... She might just use her little taser thing on me and make it like, a minute...seriously."
"You have three songs and then Shego and I are going," said Drakken.
Ed rolled his eyes and detoured their route. Drakken glared.
"Did you not hear my three-song warning?" asked Drakken.
"Yeah, yeah, seriously save it for your karaoke victims," scoffed Ed. Drakken grumbled. "Seriously, what are you doing?"
"Asking Carmella to dance so you can get tasered by Cleopatra... Then I'm going home and having a nice relaxing holiday," said Drakken calmly.
"Seriously?" Ed sighed and ran his hand across his face. "Cuz, what the hell is actually wrong with you?"
"I'd say nothing, but Shego has a list she brings out and recites when I say that," muttered Drakken. He instinctively looked over his shoulder.
"That's actually what I meant," Ed rolled his eyes. "Shego. Seriously, I love Green and all but you need to get out more. Seriously, at least she does. You're worried about getting back to the lair to do nothing...when there are some attractive babes...right here."
Ed indicated where Cleopatra and Carmella were walking toward the forest now. Drakken glared.
"Pasadena on that," snorted Drakken. "I am only distracting for you. I'm not in the mood to pursue anything but evil."
"Seriously Cuz, I'm trying to do you a solid...because you're doing me one," sighed Ed. "Loosen up."
"That has been the mantra this whole evening," glared Drakken. "It's only made me more tense every time the action following it starts."
Ed rolled his eyes.
"Whatever, seriously. I tried," shrugged Ed and he continued walking towards the forest.
Drakken put on his best smile and followed. Especially as he saw the raised brow from both women as they glanced at each other. Drakken saw Carmella nudge Cleopatra. Clearly they had their own signals. By the way Carmella seemed move a half step in front of her friend...Ed's earlier statement about her not giving him time to talk to Cleopatra was confirmed.
"Hello ladies," grinned Ed. Drakken hoped his attempt at charm didn't look as cheesy. "Seriously. We couldn't help but notice you two over here and no one to dance with. So seriously, how about you let us grace you with our killer moves. Seriously."
Drakken knew his face betrayed the look of embarrassment he suddenly felt. There was a mental flashback of his senior year in high school when he had...the one and only time...brought Ed to a party. Drakken felt the ghost of the slap he'd received from Ed's help then suddenly rekindled. He knew there had been a reason he'd never acted on this stupid juvenile pact. He focused back in and realized...Ed had continued talking. He saw Carmella shoot Cleopatra a look. Cleopatra, very obviously, leaned down for her friend to whisper to her. Not quietly either.
"How on earth did you ever find him charming?" was her so-called whisper.
"He has his moments," said Cleopatra. Ed smirked smugly. "This isn't one of them."
"Would you ladies like to dance?" smiled Drakken. One song had begun and he only had a few more.
"That's what I said," retorted Ed as he looked at Drakken.
"Did you?" asked Drakken.
"I think I would love to dance," said Carmella.
Drakken saw Cleopatra kick at Carmella's heels, but she side-stepped at the same time. Clearly the two had made a prior plan and Carmella was ignoring it. Drakken cleared his throat nervously and hoped that the change of plan didn't involve him being mind-washed again. He suddenly wondered if Carmella had any of her dangerous candies on hand and if he'd made a massive mistake. He offered his arm and tried to bite back the paranoia fluttering in his thoughts about any revenge planned on him. She'd already bit Shego.
"You know what, so would I," said Cleopatra. Ed grinned. "I would love to Drakken."
"What?" asked Drakken. Cleopatra stepped in front of Carmella and grabbed his arm.
"What?" asked Carmella.
"Seriously..." muttered Ed.
Drakken didn't have time to really register what was happening because he'd been dragged off by Cleopatra before it really sunk in. He raised a brow at Cleopatra as they danced. She had a rather smug look on her face and Drakken felt he'd been put in the middle of a dangerous game. He saw Ed glaring at him from the trees. He looked down towards Carmella and saw a very similar expression on her face. Drakken shrugged. Perhaps she thought she was now obligated to dance with Ed.
Shego leaned against the railing and watched as the songs ticked by, one led to three...three for five... And during the last three Drakken was dancing with Carmella. Shego had been annoyed to see Drakken dancing with Cleopatra, but her stomach knotted as he danced with the Carmella now. Shego crossed her arms and glared. However, she couldn't shift the twisting bitterness in her gut to anger at Drakken for having a good time.
She flipped her hair in frustration as she began heading down the metal stairs. Rationally she had no right to be upset with him not dancing with her. She'd declined his offer to play games instead. She'd verbally said she was done with the evening and didn't want to dance. Yes, it was rational to not read into it. The unease in her core as she glanced over to where Drakken and Carmella were laughing...proved that she wasn't about to cave into reason and logic.
I should just go cut in...
She rolled her eyes. She could just tell him she was getting annoyed by the fact he'd lied about the song length...that he owed her a dance at the bare minimum. She looked for a few more beats and didn't miss that flustered look on his face at whatever Carmella had just said. Her eyes narrowed. She was cutting in on this thing before she had to deal with the woman around their lair again.
One home invasion from that candy maven was more than enough.
Shego's eyes ghosted the dance floor and she froze. Most of the guests had left and all that remained was their small little cluster from the games above. She knew if she cut in there would be talk... She looked at her dress. More than there already would be. She bit her lip and remembered the sharp memory of pain return. Carmella had bit her. Blatantly bit her. Shego glared and shot a blast at one of the smaller trees near Drakken and Carmella.
There was a sense of satisfaction and relief as she watched Carmella scream and she and Drakken dart out of the way as it nearly hit them. Shego smirked as Ed got yelled at for fire hazards and trees. She would have joined in as everyone began to argue and add in a few comments about the whole place being a fire hazard to play it off. She looked at Drakken to see his arms crossed and looking directly at her. He knew it was her. She gave an innocent shrug and waved. He was trying to look annoyed but she saw him roll his eyes and the hint of a smirk on his lips.
She felt the final twisting in her gut vanish as she glanced at the group before making his way towards her, motioning they were leaving. This was short-lived by two things happening at once. A loud squeal alerted that the sprinkler system had kicked in. Water began spraying like a cold mist over them, adding to the electrical chaos Shego was sure. It must have triggered the power because the lights turned off with a loud boom sound.
"Seriously!?" she could hear Ed yell.
"Hey!" came Camille's voice. "Watch your hands."
"Who's touching you?" snapped Dementor.
"Ay, sorry I thought Fist was in front of me," came Duff.
"I'm over here," was a slightly slurred response from Monkey Fist.
"You best not be in those trees," snapped Duff.
"No one tells me what to do!" yelled Fist.
"Get out of those trees!" yelled DNAmy. "Who knows if the electrical is completely off."
"Fine... But only because of that," whined Monkey Fist. He had clearly had his limit.
"Eddie, don't you have back-up lights?" asked Drakken. Shego jumped as his voice was right in front of her.
"What's that noise?" asked Pandora.
The sound of large items crashing down began. Shego's eyes shot open as a few yells came and she realized the trees were falling. She reached ahead of her and could feel the sequins of Drakken's coat as he let out a startled yell. She moved them to her right towards the under part of the stairs. Her hand flared only enough light so they could see the metal. The warehouse was too dark and large to make out anything but shadowy movement. She heard Drakken hit the cement beam under the stairs that held the support for the high rise above.
She knew she'd shoved him harder than she'd meant to. She felt his arms on her waist and she was yanked against him as the railing made a loud sound and the sharp needles of a tree ghosted past her face. The glow of her hand illuminated the heavy brush that nearly blocked them in, the metal stairs on one side and stone encompassing them on the other two sides.
"You okay, Doc?" sighed Shego.
"Well apart from being shoved into a pillar, I'm fine," muttered Drakken.
"Does that mean you're going to whine about it later?" asked Shego as she turned around to look at him.
"I haven't decided," he shrugged, his hands still on her waist. He noticed and his hands hit the wall.
"Noted," sighed Shego. She looked at the small opening above the tree. "I'm gonna climb over and move it."
Shego let the light fade from her hand and moved towards the tree. She muttered under her breath as she felt the prickle of the needles on her bare legs. She hissed slightly as her heels slipped on the branches. Hands clumsily tried to grab her shoulders and she was yanked backwards. A metal thunk sound and Drakken hissing under his breath meant he'd hit his head.
"What are you doing?" asked Shego as she was spun around him.
"Give me a light, I'll do it. You're wearing a dress," he muttered.
"This coming from the person who shoved me into them earlier and mocked my claim of wearing heels," responded Shego.
"...Just... Just give me a light," he muttered.
Shego lit her hand for him to see the opening. Drakken's look of annoyance made her smirk as he used the sleeves of his jacket to grab the branches. She could have helped him or given him tips but she was far too amused watching him. Eventually he figured out to use the stairs to gain height over the fallen tree. She could imagine he must have been annoyed at not having his gloves and normal boots on. His shiny black loafers held no grip on them.
She doubted his tailored pants were as easy to maneuver in as his baggy blue pants and coat. She leaned against the stone and fought her own snickers at the scene in front of her. Drakken looked like he may have gotten stuck and wasn't asking for help. She wasn't about to say anything either. That was until she realized she had been fixating on his pants for far too long.
"You want me to shove you over," said Shego quickly.
Drakken gave a defeated sigh.
"Yes, please."
Shego barely heard him.
"All right, lift your right leg and when I push you, try and land with your hip over the tree and slide down," responded Shego. "Your stupid coat should stop you from getting scratched."
"I know how to land," snapped Drakken.
Shego rolled her eyes and tried to place her hands somewhere that wouldn't be awkward. His waist was too far above her and she wasn't about to grab his rear. She heard Drakken mutter.
"Any time today, Shego," he sighed.
"You know what...get down and I'll toss you over," said Shego.
"I am not," he yelled. "Just move, I'll do it myself... You know if someone hadn't lit the tree ablaze and just told me we had to go...like a normal person."
"I once saw you laser-blast a person in the ten items or less aisle because he had eleven items instead of asking if we could go ahead with two," snarled Shego. "Like a normal person."
"You blasted a woman over a sweater...you already had," retorted Drakken. "You just didn't want her to have the same one."
"I told you it was Junior and I shouldn't have to justify that," yelled Shego.
Shego watched Drakken open his mouth for another retort and had a sudden thought.
"Fine," she lit her hands further. "Time to see if that tattoo is really there."
"Shego, don't you dare set my pants on fire," snapped Drakken as she attempted to get down.
"You made your choice. Pant-less boost it is," she deviously smirked as Drakken attempted to climb down.
A light flared in their faces.
"I'm sorry to interrupt," came the chuckle of a familiar, young female voice, the green glow and the sudden light revealing her silhouette.
"Kim Possible?" were the only words both could say.
Drakken's grip slipped and after a very painful collision, he and Shego landed on the ground. Shego suddenly regretted not just shoving him over without hesitation. Especially as they looked up to see the smug look on Possible's face.
"Need a minute?" smirked the teen.
"Did I tell you," hissed Drakken, "I didn't want to come to this party?"
Holy Christmas Tree, its Possible! -
