"It's not your fault!"

Lars says the words Peter desperately craves, but never thought he could ever hear.

"I- I didn't mean it!" Lars stumbles over his words, "I was just sad and upset and I just yelled without thinking!"

Peter doesn't think he can believe Lars, even though he really wants to, and instinctively, he looks to his sobbing Mama and Uncle Lukas for confirmation.

"It's not your fault, Peter." Uncle Lukas, usually monotone and hard to read, sounds urgent as he says this. "It was just an accident."

"B-but Dad only went climbing because of me," Peter stutters as he speaks, "Its my fault we were there!"

Even though he doesnt want to say the words, Peter protests. He doesn't feel he can accept the comfort, not when he knows it really is his fault. He thinks he doesnt deserve it. Tino makes another choked sobbing noise, but pushes Uncle Lukas away to pull Peter into his arms. For the first time since the accident, Peter's Mama speaks to him properly.

"Its not your fault Peter, you didn't make the rocks fall, you couldn't have changed anything. "

Peter's heart shakes in his chest as Tino's hot tears fall on his neck and roll down his nape.

"Its not your fault, not ever," Tino continues, and his Mama's voice is strong despite the tremors in it, "I'm just so glad that you're okay Peter. "

Peter is slow to register the words. When he does, he wants to reject them. Is it really okay for him to be fine, even when its his fault that his papa is gone for good? is it okay for him to believe his family's words? His Mama shifts, pushing Peter away enough that he can look into his eyes. His Mama's eyes are firm and determined and serious, even if they're bloodshot and red.

"Thank you for coming back alive. Thank you for coming back to me."

Peter thinks that his Mama looks like he very much wants a hug when he speaks. He knows that Tino isn't lying to him. Tino's grip on his shoulder is too tight, his eyes too honest, his voice too hoarse. Peter knows for certain in that moment that , even if it was his fault, Tino doesn't blame him and his Mama is really, truely, grateful that he didn't lose Peter too.

"I can't lose you too." Tino's voice breaks. "It was never your fault Peter, please don't ever think it was." His Mama swallows, and forces out firm words on an unsteady voice, "Berwald, your dad, he wouldn't want you to do that either, so please-"

His Mama's fingers shake on his shoulders, but Tino cant seem to speak anymore, just pulls Peter back against his chest, holding him so, so tightly that Peter feels like he might break, but even so, he doesn't try to break free, because at the same time it feels like his Mama's hug is the only thing holding him together and finally, finally, the dam behind his eyes breaks and the tears come pouring out. Peter sobs so hard he chokes, and he tries to make a confession through the sobs.

"I - I knew...I knew dad, dad wasn't sleeping..." Peter gasps the words between sobs, "b-but dad said - and, and I, I-!"

He cant finish what he's trying to say, but Tino whispers in his ear, saying he doesn't need to finish, that he understands. and Peter clings to his Mama like he's the only thing keeping Peter afloat in a sea of grief, guilt and denial. Peter really, really wants to believe his Mama when he says its not Peter's fault. Something inside Peter still thinks it is.

Someone wiggles into the hug, between Mama and Peter, his step-brother Lars, sobbing himself , so painfully that he's heaving with each breath, and through his tear-filled eyes Peter sees his brother for the first time. His older brother looks pale, and scared, and small, just like Peter, and Peter begins to understand that Lars is hurting too, just as bad as Peter, and his Mama, and their whole family is. Lars sobs out his confession too.

"I should have stopped dad from going!" He wails, even though it was neither his responsibility, nor was the accident something he could have predicted.

Peter realizes that he's not the only one blaming himself.