Giovanni trembled, white and pale, overcome with emotions. Lovino reached for Feliciano and yanked his younger brother to his side by the arm, and Feliciano gratefully allowed it, seeking comfort from a long lost source of comfort. Matteo continued to stare at the wall blankly like it held the world's secrets, and Sebastien looked from the face of one brother to the next, hoping for an answer to a question he didn't even know. Giovanni tried to form the answer, opening and closing his mouth, but nothing came out. Sebastien felt jagged and broken. This, his own glass family, was finally shattering, and Sebastien felt that he was the one to blame.
"Does it even matter if Vanni apologizes?"
Matteo broke into the conversation in a cold voice.
"Teo!"
The reprimand broke from Sebastien's lips almost without thought. Matteo ignored him.
"I mean, we were all awful in some way. So what it Vanni apologizes? Or Lovi, or me? Does anything change? Is "sorry" going to make us all happy and close and give me my family Back? "
Sebastien wanted to scream that Matteo was wrong, that he shouldn't say that, but he couldn't. Because Matteo was right. It was something that hadn't even occurred to Sebastien. So what if Giovanni said he was sorry. What If he said he was sorry? Would anything change? After the apologies and the tears, they'd still all go back to their respective homes, and then what? Maybe they'd text or call each other every so often, or occasionally meet up, but what difference would that make? Matteo was right. Whether they argued or apologized, it wouldn't give them their family back. It wouldn't fix the pain, or bring them back in time to before the world went silent for the first time.
Just like how the wall of their house had caved in, their relationship was also destroyed, and there wasn't anything left to go home to. Even if he cried and was selfish, it was already too late. He wasn't a child anymore, and neither were his brothers. Feliciano had a boyfriend to go back to, and Lovino had Uncle Antonio. Matteo had his friend from France, and even Giovanni had his own house, and supposedly friends to go back to as well. Sebastien wanted to protest to Matteo that he still had family to go back to, that at least, out of all of them, Sebastien had never left him. But he couldn't even make himself say that. After all, it had been Matteo who choose to leave him, even knowing that.
"Am I so terrible?"
The words didn't fall from Giovanni's lips, but Sebastien's own. Maybe it was because he'd already abandoned his usual way of softening his words, or maybe he'd just held the words back for too long, but Sebastien felt devastated as he spit the words that ate him from the inside out. The loss of a brother that stung so much more than any of the elder brothers, a sibling he'd all but raised on his own, that he'd poured all his heart and attention to, but to that brother, Sebastien wasn't even enough to be considered family. And the worst of it was that Sebastien couldn't even understand what he'd done wrong.
"Just tell me what I'm doing wrong, and I'll fix it! I can be a better Fratello, so please -"
To his horror, Sebastien felt the same tears that had betrayed him at Chris's place pricking at his eyes, and cut himself off before he could burst into tears. For the first time Matteo reacted, turning with wide eyes to gauge Sebastien's reaction, but Sebastien couldn't even see his brother's face through his blurry vision. Sebastien didn't understand. He didn't understand anything, but the one he understood the least was Matteo. Had he been lacking, raising his brother? Had he forgotten to complement him when he should, or been to self-focused to give his youngest brother the correct attention? Had he somehow made Matteo feel the Giovanni made him feel?
Sebastien just couldn't understand what he'd done wrong, why he'd somehow lost the only family he had left. Only Matteo had the answer, only Matteo could tell him what he'd messed up so bad to lose everything, but his youngest brother only opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, and Sebastien felt like he was breaking down under the pressure. He'd always been the good one, tried his best to be understanding, a good younger brother, solid and reliable, a good older brother. He'd cleaned dishes and learned to cook, comforted his brother when Feliciano cried, he'd learned to help Matteo study, to comfort him after a nightmare and hide him away from the terrible shouting and fighting, but somehow, something was coming loose.
The same thread that had been holding him together had already snapped on Chris's pull-out couch and he had nothing left to keep him together. Sebastien felt like he was curling into himself, blood pounding in his ears and yet the world was still as noisy as ever, every breath in the silent room, or shifting of clothes, magnified a hundred times in his head, but still not a single word to offer him an answer. It was harder and harder to catch his breath, to hold back his tears, to stop himself from crying. But somehow, he had to. He'd already failed Matteo, if he broke down here he'd only prove that he wasn't worthy of Matteo, that he couldn't do what he promised.
"I can do better."
A whisper meant to convince himself, not anyone else.
"I can try harder. I can do it, so-"
Sebastien wasn't even sure if he was verbalizing the words anymore.
"-please don't throw me away."
The swelling in his chest, the hot hard lump threatening to break into tears and escape, was fading, not gone, but controllable, his breath returning easier, and Sebastien felt a sense of relief he didn't know he was missing return to him. He could do it, after all. He really could. He sought Matteo's face with a renewed confidence, if he could only learn what he did wrong, he could fix it! But Matteo's face betrayed an answer that had already been given, crumpled and dismayed, and belatedly, Sebastien recognized the silence that had fallen around him. For a heartbeat, he couldn't react, couldn't accept it. Then he felt something he didn't know he had left in him crack.
Sebastien thought that perhaps he knew the reason that Matteo had left him, the way he'd failed as a brother, and it wasn't something that he knew how to fix. Hands reached for his face, large and warm, and pulled his attention to Giovanni, who looked at Sebastien like he'd finally completed the last piece of a puzzle with a particularly horrifying image. A look that said this answer was a long time coming, but the horror of it was only settling in now, and Giovanni's lips moved to admit an answer Sebastien still couldn't figure out.
"Now I understand."
What did Giovanni understand? Did Giovanni also see Sebastien as something he should leave? Was it Sebastien's disability that made him a failure of a brother? But Sebastien didn't know how to make it go away, just like he couldn't control when it came. Sebastien almost wished he didn't know why his brothers didn't want him, because now that he did, he could only face the hopelessness of not being able to fix it. Was it because of the warm hands on his face, or the tired eyes of his brother looking into his own as though he'd found something disturbing lurking within? Maybe it was the acknowledgement of the hopelessness that fell, but Sebastien felt a warm tear leak from the corner of his glassy eyes.
Almost immediately Sebastien reached to wipe the tear away, but Giovanni caught it first on his thumb, wiping it away, then Sebastien felt himself pulled tight against his older brother and held in a way he hadn't been held since his Grandpa was still alive. But fifteen years was too long, and the ache inside didn't quell, and Sebastien could only feel award and uncomfortable. The silence that blocked out anything his brothers might be saying and left him ignorant felt stifling, the tight embrace felt foreign. Sebastian didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he should bother trying anymore.
For the first time since before Lovino left, Sebastien didn't want to see his brothers anymore. He wanted to be somewhere else, to have someone else who he could ask for advice, someone who could provide a magical answer that would somehow miraculously solve all his problems, to make his hearing normal again and his family happy, and to make all the pain and uncertainty go away. Sebastien desperately wished he had someone he could ask for help, in a way more intense than he'd wished his whole life. But Sebastien didn't have anyone like that. He never had.
Then suddenly he was released by Giovanni, and felt a large and comforting hand he'd almost recognized, but didn't, on his shoulder, pulling him to safety, away from the suffocation of his brother who had encircled him and towards the door where it was easier to breath, and a tanned man stepped in front of him. For a moment, Sebastien thought the impossible had happened, and that his Grandpa had returned from beyond the grave to grant Sebastien this one impossible wish he had. Then the man in front of him turned, lowering himself ever so slightly to meet Sebastien's eyes with a clear green of the same colour, curly dark hair and a sincere expression, and Sebastien remembered a family member who he'd forgotten was in the same house.
"Uncle Antonio?"
Uncle Antonio responded with only seven words.
"Sebastien, it's okay to be upset."
It should have been obvious, it wasn't something he should have needed to be told, or needed permission for, but finally, Sebastien felt like he had gotten permission to do the thing he'd always forbidden himself from doing since he was young. Antonio's face blurred as tears spilled from his eyes, but this time, Sebastien didn't try to stop them. He felt like he was seven again, instead of seventeen, like he was only a little boy whose guardian had gone somewhere he couldn't return from, whose brothers only argued about things he couldn't understand, or cried in a way he couldn't understand, and didn't know how to fix things, or how to make the painful feelings inside go away.
Sebastien cried in a way he hadn't cried since his Grandpa's funeral, not even comparable to the way he cried at Chris's house. It wasn't the same, choked sobbing and gasping for breath, shaking shoulders and aching chest and head, but a calmer, more heartbroken way. Tears streamed down his face like tiny rivers breaking through a damn, the ache in his chest for more internal than external, snot running and blending with tears, and his shoulders only trembled as he cried. But it felt more devastating, crying like this in front of all his brothers, instead of his lonely breakdown on Chris's couch.
And the whole time he cried, Uncle Antonio kept his clear and sincere eyes trained on his, a single warm hand on his shoulder. He didn't say that it was okay, or that it would be okay. He didn't blame anyone, or try to comfort Sebastien. He just waited, patiently, until the tears fully ran out. Then, as the tears finally slowed, and Sebastien wiped at his wet cheeks with his sleeves, cleaning his nose on his cuff, and hiccuping with the after-stress of the emotions, Uncle Antonio finally offered a few words of comfort.
"You've done well."
Sebastien barely registered the fact he could hear again under the unexpected comfort of his Uncle's praise. It didn't feel like Giovanni's similar praise had felt years ago, and after a second, Sebastien figured out why. Uncle Antonio wasn't forcing any expectations on his shoulders, wasn't telling him to do well in the future. Instead, his Uncle was only saying exactly what he had said- that Sebastien had already done well. And even though he could have sworn that he'd cried every drop of water in his body, Sebastien's eyes welled up again.
Uncle Antonio pulled him into a hug, but unlike Giovanni's, it didn't feel suffocating, and Sebastien melted into it. Uncle Antonio repeated his praise once again.
"You did well, Nephew, so it's okay to rest now. It's okay."
And impossibly, Sebastien felt like it was.
He didn't even realize he'd passed out from crying until he woke in an unfamiliar room, next to an unfamiliar warmth the next morning. It took Sebastien a moment to remember where he was, and what happened, and even when he did it didn't feel right. His head ached like someone was jackhammering his skull from the inside, and his throat was dry and his eyes felt crusty. Reluctantly, he forced himself to sit up, trying to wake himself fully. It was only when he shifted his balance that he brushed the hand laying next to him, and fully awoke.
The brother next to him frowned at the movement, wrinkling his brow and grumbling, trying to reclaim a sleep that escaped him, and Sebastien was hit with an unexpected sense of Nostalgia. It should have seemed unfamiliar to him, like Giovanni's embrace, but it didn't. Sebastien remembered something he'd forgotten.
A long time ago, no, a time not too long ago, this was a common occurrence. After his brothers fought and stormed off, after he cooked and fed and cared for him and Matteo, Lovino would reappear hours later, and see the cleaned kitchen and washed dishes with a twisted face. When Sebastien had already tucked Matteo into bed, sometimes falling asleep there when reading Matteo his bedtime story, he'd wake up in his bed later, and often feel Lovino's back against his own, warm and comforting. Sometimes he'd wake up suddenly because Lovino shifted in his sleep and kicked Sebastien out of bed into the floor, and he'd retaliate by pulling the blankets of Lovino.
Lovino twisted in the bed, as though trying to avoid the sunlight streaming in from the window, and squinted one open eye at Sebastien. It was a sight so familiar, despite the difference in their ages, that Sebastien's heart squeezed, but not in the same painful way it usually did. Lovino snapped his eye shut again, frowning deeper at the sunlight, and growled at Sebastien.
"Turn the light off. It's like one in the morning."
Sebastien didn't have a clock, but he was one hundred percent sure that Lovino was wrong, and told his brother so, in a way so casually right that he forgot how odd it was.
"It's not one in the morning, fratello, and I can't turn off the sun."
Lovino opened both eyes to squint at him this time, looking rather like he was considering throwing a pillow at Sebastien, which was also a common occurrence in his memories. Luckily, Lovino seemed to be feeling generous that morning, and just rolled over and pulled the blankets over his head. Sebastien knew that I'd he left his second eldest Brother alone, Lovino would definitely fall back asleep. But Sebastien was finally registering the unfamiliarity of the room, and the disconnect in his memories from when Uncle Antonio hugged him to when he woke up in bed, and his stomach was growling.
So Sebastien did the natural thing and ripped the blankets off his brother. This time, Lovino did throw the pillow, but the action forced him to sit up, resulting in a mostly awake and slightly cranky brother. Sebastien's sudden reality check made him uncaring of that fact. He demanded answers of his brother with a single questioning word.
"Lovino?"
Lovino's signature pissed off look grew, but he answered anyways.
"Stupid Fratellino. You cried so hard you passed out and Uncle Tonio and Vanni had to carry you to bed. You have some nerve waking me up after taking up half my bed all night."
Sebastien felt like he'd been unexpectedly flipped upside down and shaken. Giovanni had carried him to bed? He'd cried so hard he fainted? This was Lovino's bed? It was a odd, but not fully unpleasant feeling that Sebastien couldn't quite settle. He opened his mouth to ask one of a thousand questions, if he could only get his bearings enough to understand what he wanted to ask, but his stomach spoke first in a loud, demanding growl. Lovino's scowl twitched slightly up, like he'd found something funny, but all he did was reluctantly force himself out of bed, brushing the sleep from his eyes.
"Whatever. Since I'm awake, we may as well get breakfast."
Breakfast wasn't until an hour later, after both Sebastien and Lovino were showered, cleaned up, and Sebastien was dressed in some of Lovino's old clothes, which almost but didn't quite fit. The rest of his siblings and Uncle Antonio weren't awake yet, so it was just Sebastien and Lovino started to make a light breakfast. There was an awkward silence for a bit as Lovino worked, then, unprompted and random, Lovino began a story.
"One time, back when I was around six, and Vanni was 10, we went to the park. You were only a baby and Feli was like 4, so they were home with Grandpa, and it was just me and Vanni."
Sebastien blinked at the unexpected story, wondering where Lovino was going with it, unable to read the emotions from his brother's back. Lovino continued, casually.
"I was playing, and Vanni saw his friends and went to talk to them. He didn't go far, but I suddenly looked up and didn't see him anywhere, and I remember feeling so scared and alone that I started to cry. I thought that he'd left me there alone, and I didn't know how to get home on my own, or have anyone else to ask. "
Sebastien understood at least this feeling well. Not only from numerous times he'd wandered off from his family to find himself lost, but also from more recent times, alone and scared in a place where he was left behind. Lovino put a plate in front of Sebastien, not meeting his eyes.
"Then all of a sudden Vanni came out of nowhere and swept me up, asking why I was crying. And when I told him, he apologized like a hundred times. I didn't get mad or anything, I was jsut glad he was there, but I remember thinking I'd never do that to you. I'd always stay close by, and make sure you knew where I was, so you wouldn't be afraid. "
Lovino put his plate down a little too hard, as though he was angry at himself.
" But in the end, I guess I made that exact same mistake. "
And Sebastien understood what Lovino was trying to say. Lovino studied his food like it had offended him, but Sebastien was beginning to understand the strange expression on Lovino's face that was neither anger or sorrow. Lovino's words were softer than he'd heard in a while, but still lined with tension.
"I can't do anything else but say sorry. I know it doesn't change anything, but that's all I can do. I'm sorry, Seb, Feli. I shouldn't have left you like that."
The shock of Lovino's uncharacteristic apology was doubled by the unexpected reveal of Feliciano, who had been standing just out of sight from the door, as though unsure when to come in. But Sebastien didn't even care about that, because Lovino's story had provided him with an answer he didn't have last night. Matteo was right, no apology would fix the past or make their pain go away. But..
"There is something else you can do."
Sebastien answered in a firmer voice than he'd expected to hear from himself., and both his older brothers looked at him.
"You can make sure not to do it again. You can stay close by and make sure we know where you are, so we can find you when we want to."
Sebastien was amazed by the complete simplicity of an answer he couldn't think of before. Nothing would erase the pain. Nothing would give him the perfect life he wanted, and realistically, Sebastien knew that even if his brothers stayed together, learned to talk and bicker and smile and rely on each other again, it still wouldn't be a perfect life that he'd want. But he was learning from his mistakes, though it was painfully slow, and the answer was complexly simple. To get his family back, he needed to stop making the same mistakes. They all did. And if they made new mistakes they could rely on each other to fix it. Sebastien didn't want things to be like the past ever again.
"You can stay, and Vanni can start spending time with us, and it won't matter if Feli cries or not because we'll all be here for him, and then maybe Teo won't want to avoid us and I-"
He broke it off, hitting a block. What could he do? His biggest mistake that he could identify was his hearing loss, and the fact he hadn't told them. But they all knew now, and Sebastien didn't know how to make the problem go away. He faltered, feeling his face fall as he realized this. Lovino and Feliciano both looked like they wanted to say anything, but both were cut off by the voice of their youngest brother, still thick with sleep, and he walked into the kitchen.
"Fratellos, you are all idiotas."
"Si," Their Uncle's voice responded brightly, "They are, aren't they? "
Sebastien turned to see Uncle Antonio's face, searching for the answer that Antonio hinted at having, and easily, Antonio provided it.
"You all need to start relying on each other, and me. Especially you, little nipote."
Matteo nodded empathetically in response. Sebastie still didn't understand. Rely on his brothers to do what? How could that fix his hearing issues? Antonio clapped a hand on his shoulder and he stole a tomato from Sebastien's plate.
"To start with, we will get you and Feli a therapist, and maybe family counseling."
Sebastien still didn't understand. He understood the family counseling was necessary, and he understood why Feli would need a therapist, but how could a therapist fix his hearing? But Lovino nodded like it all made sense, and Feliciano protested that he'd already been seeing a therapist at the place where he was boarding, which was news to Sebastien, and Matteo was giving Sebastien a look that said he really couldn't believe how dense Sebastien is.
"You really are an idiota, fratello. You really haven't figured it out?"
Sebastien's question died on his lips as his thoughts fell into place like a game of Tetris. The times his hearing went out, when His brothers fought, when he felt stifled and suffocated, and lonely. Every time, he'd felt pressured and like he was running out of air. Every time he'd been stressed. Understanding brought with it first a feeling of relief, that he could fix it, that he could get rid of the thing that made Matteo want to stay away, and become a better brother.
Then Sebastien felt shame. The "good brother" he always tried to be had never existed from the start. The problem that had torn him apart for all these years was all caused by him from the start. Even though he tried not to cause trouble, he'd been the one who caused the most. Sebastien felt sick. Somewhere in his heart, he knew logically it wasn't his fault, or something that he chose, but that didn't make him feel less guilty, or make the shame go away.
"Seb?"
Matteo put out a worried hand to Sebastien's sleeve, and Sebastien took a deep breath to choke down the hard lump in his throat. He needed to say something. He felt guiltier yet when he thought back to how he'd expected an apology from his brothers, but had never offered one himself. So he did.
"I'm sorry."
It was a faint sound, but Sebastien hoped it sounded sincere. He'd put the most of his sincerity into that apology, but he worried it just sounded self-pitying. Lovino grabbed his shoulders tightly, and Sebastien flinched as he met Lovino's sharp green eyes.
"Fratellino, I'm saying this to be clear, but the only thing you need to apologize for is not telling us, okay? Your hearing loss wasn't your fault, so don't you dare apologize for that."
Then...what exactly should he say regarding his hearing loss? Who should he blame? Sebastien didn't know. He didn't know how he should resolve the painful knot in his chest, how he should react. Sebastien dropped his head to his hands, feeling prickly and uncomfortable.
"Sorry."
He said again, not really knowing what he was apologizing for anymore. Lovino looked irritated, like he wanted to say something else but didn't know what. Feliciano was giving Sebastien a sympathetic look, like he understood, though Sebastien didn't know how he could. He couldn't even see Matteo's face when Matteo broached a subject, but his voice was higher than normal and hesitant.
"I... Didn't leave home because of you, Seb."
Matteo's voice quavered like he was walking on eggshells, afraid to upset Sebastien. Sebastien processed the words, then spun to face Matteo with wide eyes. Matteo looked as uncertain as he sounded, and he flushed at the suddenness of Sebastien's searching eyes. Matteo looked flustered to meet Sebastien's eyes, then looked away awkwardly.
"Its just... You always treat me like the baby of the family, but I'm not a kid anymore, and I wanted to try living on my own. It's not that I hated living with you or anything, I just...well Lovi moved out when he was fifteen and I.."
Matteo trailed off, but Sebastien is still hearing the echo of his words. It's such a mundane reason to leave, amongst the chaotic escapes and departures, one Sebastien had never considered. All once again, Sebastien was struck with the knowledge he didn't understand Matteo at all. How had his youngest seen their family? How was he able to stay so...normal..when everyone else fell to pieces? Sebastien had always considered himself the closest to Matteo out of the rest of his brothers, but he was wondering if he was even close at all. But Matteo was watching Sebastien out of the corner of his eyes, so Sebastien responded, his voice shaking with wonder and shock.
"That's all? You just...wanted to live by yourself?"
It was stupid, impossibly so, that Sebastien hadn't considered it before. Even Chris, and Wendy's older brother Kyle, had told him they had moved away from home for a bit at a young age to experience life, but Sebastien had never considered that it could happen to his family. Searching for independence was a thing other family's did, other teenagers. Not his messed up family. Not his little brother. Sebastien didn't know how he should react. Should he be happy, because Matteo hadn't left because of him? But the memory of that Birthday was too fresh and bitter, waiting alone in the dark to share a meal with someone who never came home, and the feeling of finally giving up, accepting he'd lost yet another brother.
If all that was a misunderstanding, then why did he have to feel all that heartbreak and pain? Raggedly, he asked for an answer from a little brother that knew nothing of how he felt.
"Then why didn't you tell me? Why did you just-"
Sebastien was sinking in his frustration. Everything he'd done, all the pain he'd internalized, and what for? The answer was as obvious as it was painful. Nothing. Just like he'd never needed to suffer alone, when he could have relied on his brothers, just like how he never needed to keep his loss of hearing a secret, there was never a reason for what happened the night of Matteo's fourteenth birthday. Matteo flushed further as he responded.
"I thought you would stop me. Just! I mean, ever since Vanni left you were kinda clingy and didn't want to let me do anything, so I thought you'd say I was too young or something, so I... Just kinda hid it."
Sebastien didn't know how he felt. Matteo's reason was so simple and common that it felt like a knife wound cutting him from the inside. If Sebastian didn't understand Matteo, it was even more painfully obvious that Matteo didn't understand him. If Sebastien thought too much about Matteo, his youngest brother didn't think about Sebastien at all. It hurt.
"I waited."
Sebastien spilt the pain of that night, wishing that Matteo would even understand the smallest bit.
"I made you nidi di rondine, I decorated, I even got a cake, but you never came home!"
Sebastien voice was rising in a crescendo he couldn't seem to control, but the tone stayed even, and Sebastien wondered if Matteo even understood why he was raising his voice.
"I texted you, and I waited. I waited for a week, Matteo! A whole week before you contacted me! Do you even know-"
Feliciano flinched back against Lovino at Sebastien's raised voice, and Sebastien choked. He was becoming just like Giovanni and Lovino. He was yelling, just like he always hated, and even Lovino looked shocked, and Matteo looked uneasy and scared. Sebastien swallowed past the lump in his throat, purposefully lowering his voice to speak in a controlled tone.
"I didn't know if you were hurt, or kidnapped, or dead. I didn't have a way to contact Giovanni, or even Uncle Antonio, or anyone."
Sebastien's carefully controlled tone slipped, and Sebastien knew he sounded exactly as he felt as he finished his complaint.
"I was scared, Matteo. I thought something happened to you and I didn't know what to do, and you-"
He looked Matteo directly in the eyes.
"-you couldn't have responded, just a single word, to let me know you were okay?"
Matteo's lower lip was trembling, tears glassing over his eyes. Sebastien felt a sense of satisfaction at that, but somehow he couldn't enjoy it. Finally, Matteo was understanding how Sebastien had felt, but it was already too late. Sebastien watched the tears spill from Matteo's eyes and trace down his cheeks with a disconnected feeling, as though he was watching the situation through a screen. Lovino, seeming more at ease now that Sebastien had stopped shouting, finally registered the information and turned to Matteo sharply.
"You did what?"
The tears in Matteo's eyes finally spilled over.
"Lovi..."
Feliciano tried to calm him, but Lovino pushed his arm off.
"No, seriously, what the hell, Matteo?"
Matteo cried harder, choking on his tears, and Feliciano swept forwards and pulled him into his arms protectively, giving Lovino a sharp look. Lovino looked frustrated and angry, but took a deep calming breath at his younger brother's warning look. He exhaled, slowly, then began to speak in a more controlled tone.
"Argh! This is all wrong! How could you-" Lovino pointed at Matteo, " - just leave without saying anything? And you didn't even let him know you were safe? And how could Giovanni not make sure you-" Here Lovino gestured at Sebastien, "-Had his contact information in case of emergencies? "
Sebastien couldn't agree more with Lovino, but what could he do about it? Both of these were situations Sebastien had no say in, from Giovanni leaving to Matteo's secretive moving out. Sebastien was feeling a strange sort of feeling, like an itch had been scratched. Someone was finally understanding what Sebastien had been dealing with. Lovino's frustrated outburst was soothing to Sebastien, proof he hadn't done anything wrong, that he was right to feel upset. Matteo was wiping desperately at his tears, and Feliciano looked like he agreed with Lovino, even though he was still protectively holding Matteo.
"Now then, let's all calm down. Matteo was certainly wrong, but I'm sure he knows that now, and what's important is he doesn't do it again. So let's all calm down and have breakfast, si?"
Sebastien had almost forgotten that Uncle Antonio was in the room until his uncle spoke. Apparently he wasn't the only one, and both Feliciano and Lovino flinched too. Sebastien expected Lovino to argue, though he didn't know what he should do, or what side he should take if Lovino did, but surprisingly, his second eldest brother seemed to listen to their uncle, and just sighed and looked away. Feliciano continued to hold Matteo, but more loosely, and Matteo accepted the warmed spiced wine that Uncle Antonio offered him, sniffling back his tears. Sebastien watched all this distantly.
Something had changed, but Sebastien wasn't sure if it was for the better or the worse. A hand fell on his head, lacking weight and feeling timid, like the owner would jerk the hand away if he thought it was unwelcome. Sebastien didn't need to turn to see which brother this was.
"I forgot."
A voice he recognized, thick with emotion, but also determination. The voice was low, but enough to draw everyone's attention. His brothers' eyes turned towards him, but Sebastien knew they weren't looking at him, but rather behind him.
"I love you, my Fratelinos. I forgot to tell you that last night."
Finally, even the smallest bit, Giovanni was learning the right things to say. Sebastien felt his lips begins to quirk up into a true smile.
Eldest Brother, Giovanni = Vatican City
Second Eldest, Lovino = Romano, South Italy
Third Eldest, Feliciano = Veniciano, North Italy
Second Youngest, Sebastien = Seborga
Youngest Brother, Matteo = San Marino
