His co-worker was strange.

That was Chris's initial impression of Sebastien. The dopey smile that he always wore didn't quite match the desperation in his eyes. The way he played and interacted with the kids wasn't normal either. He didn't act like a babysitter, but like one of them, or an older brother. It made Chris uncomfortable, seeing the way Sebastien molded himself to each kid's personality. With Wendy, he treated her like she was his age, careful not to speak condescending, cool and casual. With Peter and Lars he became energetic and playful, and with Luca quiet and calming. He even changed personalities to be more chatty and friendly when Wendy's older brother Liam came to pick her up.

It made him uncomfortable because he wasn't sure which side of Sebastien was the real one, or if the side he saw was just another front. The side of Sebastien he saw felt the most real to him, though, like Sebastien didn't think Chris was looking so he didn't need to hide anything. That's why Chris changed his first impression a bit.

His co-worker wasn't just strange. He was lonely.

There was a hunger in Sebastian's eyes when he watched the kids, and a shadow that filled in those eyes when he sent the last of the kids home with their family at the end of the day. There was a reluctance in the way he gathered his stuff, slowly, stopping to talk with both hands, like he didn't really want to leave. Chris didn't really know Sebastien s family life. He'd heard bits and pieces, enough to know Sebastien didn't have parents, that he was mostly raised by his brothers, and that he raised his youngest. Enough to know that he lived all by himself in his big house now.

But that also scared Chris a bit, because Sebastien didn't complain. Ever. At first, Chris thought his co-worker was just trying to be professional, then that he was a dopey optimist. But then he began to catch it. Moments when Sebastien would start to complain, then catch himself and rephrase or change his words. The way the smile slipped ever so slightly before bouncing back, the way his eyes changed sometimes. It wasn't that Sebastien didn't complain. It was that he wouldn't, and Chris didn't know why. He'd thought, at first, maybe he was afraid to complain, and wondered if his brother's had hurt him or something to put that fear into him. But Sebastien had seemed so completed floored and offended at the suggestion that Chris scratched it off his list.

But maybe that made Sebastien scarier. A smile that never went away. Hidden emotions and a hunger in his eyes that never went away. And then there were times when Chris would see him in public. Times when sometimes Chris would raise a hand and shout to get Sebastien's attention but the other's face remained blank and had no reaction, like Sebastien couldn't hear him. At First Chris had thought that Sebastien was doing that on purpose, that he had no interest in Chris outside work and wanted to avoid him. But even that would have elected some sort of reaction, and it didn't match Sebastien reluctance to leave.

Still, it felt like there was a wall between him and Sebastien. Not just Sebastien and him, but everyone else. Like his Co-worker was hiding from everyone. He didn't really figure it out until after the big storm. The day that Sebastien had showed up holding Luca's hand in his doorstep, with dark circles under his eyes, and a smile that seemed empty instead of fake. Until he saw the smile slip and not come back, and saw the lack of reaction to the sound of text and his phone ringing. Till he saw the delay in reactions to words, or how Sebastien didn't seem to notice when Luca softly called his name until he reached a timid hand to Sebastien, and when he saw how Sebastien jumped at that.

Finally, Chris understood. His Co-worker wasn't just strange or lonely. He was broken. Chris didn't know what was causing the dissociation, but it scared him. He wasn't scared of Sebastien, but for him. Sebastien's empty smile and blank eyes made it seem like he'd do something bad. Like Sebastien might not be there tomorrow if he didn't do something. So Chris sent him home. There was something more than desperation, edging on despair on Sebastien's face when he gathered slipped Don his shoes and gathered his stuff, and Chris could almost guess the words Sebastien wanted to say.

"Hey, can I stay here tonight?"

But Sebastien didn't complain, didn't show that things were wrong, ever, and Chris thought he saw the moment when Sebastien bit back the request and gave his extremely fake smile and a too-cheery goodbye. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was everything. That's why Chris set up the sofa bed that evening, after Sebastien left. Maybe that's why he kept it up. Maybe that's why he reached out to Elizabeta, who'd lived there much longer than him and his brother, to see if he could contact any of Sebastien's brothers. It may have been nothing, but it was the possibility it was something that made Chris feel like Sebastien shouldn't be alone.

It was a shock to find that one of Sebastien's brother was actually boarding with Luca's father, and a stroke of Good Luck that Elizabeta was able to get him in contact. It took more courage then he'd thought to contact the number. There'd been a moment he'd doubted himself, going this far for a person who wasn't really even a friend, just a co-worker. To do this much for a "maybe". But he'd already gone so far, so he sent the text.

"Is this Feliciano? You don't know me, but I know your Brother, Sebastien. I really think he needs you right now. "

The following conversation where he'd had to explain was worse. But Feliciano had promised to come immediately. Sebastien hadn't come back to work since he'd left the night before. The next time he saw Sebastien was three days later, carrying a duffle bag and looking paler and worse than the last time. He looked like he'd been hit by a truck, which backed up over him, then ran over him again for good measure. His eyes were red and bloodshot, though dry. His face was extremely pale, but the circles under his eyes were dark. The worst part was his eyes tho, which looked like whatever he was holding onto to keep himself together was slipping. Somehow, when he'd opened the door, Chris had known Sebastien was extremely close to snapping.

He still let him in.

Maybe it was this surity that Sebastien was cracking that kept Chris awake and made him wander the halls, searching for sleep, which in turn let him hear the sounds. It was a sobbing of a broken person, one he'd only heard once before, from his older brother when he went through a tough time, and one he'd never expected from Sebastien. He'd thought Sebastien would get angry when he finally snapped, throw something, or yell. He hadn't expected this. It was a sob that was terrifying to Chris, and he got Deja vu at the feeling. It was a feeling like something terrible really might happen if he didn't go to Sebastien and stay by his side like he'd done with his brother.

But Sebastien hadn't seemed to hear his approach, or awkward attempts to speak to him. Rather, it didn't seem Sebastien could hear anything. He'd has no chance but to wait for the broken sobs that rattled Sebastien lungs and made him gasp for air died down. Feeling useless and awkward, Chris tried to Remember what his brother had done for him when he used to cry as a child. He'd regretted his choice when he found himself holding a mug of hot milk and honey. Surely Sebastien would think it was childish or Weird? But Sebastien wore a child-like face full of snot and wonder as he accepted the mug shoved awkwardly at him, more interested in Chris's presence then the drink.

For a moment, Chris thought he could read Sebastien's mind. He saw first the wonder, then the shame, then the panic cross Sebastien face, and swore he could tell what Sebastien was stressing out about.

"I've bugged Chris. Is he annoyed at me? What do I do? What if he hates me now?"

These were sort of things he imagined Sebastien was thinking, and waited for him to blurt out an excuse, or an apology or to explain. But Sebastien stayed silent, saving for his sniffling and laboured breathing, and Chris was certain he was only falling deeper into his own insecurities, so Chris spoke first.

"So, are you going to tell me?"

It came out more rough than he'd meant, and demanding, and he regretted his tone and choice of words immediately as he saw Sebastien flounder, mouth opening and closing, matching his fists as they clenched against the bed sheet then unclenched.so he added a quick escape route, so Sebastien wouldn't feel pressured. But Sebastien eyes formed a strange hard glint, like he'd suddenly made up his mind, then shakily Sebastien spilt the truth.

It was a story he could never have painted for Sebastien, a hunger and loneliness deeper than he'd perceived, and a self-inflicted isolation. He thought he understood why Sebastien fit in so well with the kids, like his co-worker was still a kid himself. But everytime he thought he understood Sebastien, he revealed another tragic fact that sent Chris reeling. It was a sort of everyday tragedy, a heartbreaking story that could happen to anyone, but one that tore Chris in two. On one hand, the story made everything that had confused him about Sebastien electrifyingly simple, but on the other hand, it inspired new questions.

Chris just didn't understand why Sebastien had suffered like this. He understood, when Sebastien explained his thought process, but he also didn't understand. Because to Chris, the answer was so simple it was stupid. The answer to Sebastien problem was the thing he wanted the most, even though Sebastien didn't seem to realize it. The comfort he wanted from his brothers, the advice, the help he craved, it was all so easy to get, but it was Sebastien who refused to allow himself it. It was like Sebastien was punishing himself for something Chris didn't understand, like he was forcing himself to suffer because he thought he deserved it.

So Chris told Sebastien the answer to his problems as well as he could, highlighting the uselessness of Sebastien's refusal to ask for help. But the look Sebastien made in response was another blow. It struck him then, the understanding. Sebastien was a boy who'd never learned that it was okay to ask for help. In fact, Chris wouldn't be surprised if that night was the first time Sebastien had done something of the sort, or even complained. Since he'd never asked for help, of course he'd never learned any other perspective than his own.

In a strange sort of way, he really was a child, like Sebastien was forever frozen at seven when he'd first started having hearing issues. He was a child who didn't know how to be a child, and an adult who didn't know how to be an adult. In everyway, Sebastien was a paradox, a problem that was it's own answer, a self-inflicted loneliness, an older brother who was a younger brother, and a human being who seemed like an alien. This understand somehow made Sebastien less scary now that Chris knew how he worked. It also made Chris certain he'd never seen the real Sebastien, but he'd also always seen him. The loud and playful Sebastien, the quiet Sebastien, the Lonely Sebastien and the one that broke down sobbing, all of them were just parts of who Sebastien was, like he'd never learned how to display his whole personality at once.

The Sebastien who muttered back that he was an idiot with an exasperated mirthless chuckle seemed to be an extremely simple picture, like a completed puzzle. Which is why, though it annoyed him, he wasn't all that surprised when the usually somewhat aloof teen suddenly turned clingy, or how he'd managed to somehow utilise his new greed to weedle and beg Chris to sleep in the same bed as him. It irritated Chris a little, like he'd suddenly gained another sibling he didn't want, and he worried that Sebastien would use him as a brother replacement. He definitely didn't want that, especially after experiencing the clinginess that Sebastien kept hidden usually.

That's why he used tough love on Sebastien, coldly kicking him out for both of their own good. He didn't see Sebastien for weeks after that, which made work harder, until Liam, Wendy's second eldest brother, volunteered to help until Sebastien came back. Which made work even harder, since Chris often found himself considering the benefits to burying Liam alive, since the other had a mouth that only had sassy and arrogant things to say, and never stopped running. He almost cried when he saw Sebastien again, from relief.

And Sebastien had changed. There was something that seemed more stable about him, less like he was about to shatter, though in no means stable. Just less unstable. Sebastien never fully explained what had happened or changed, but he did mention a therapist casually in passing, and Chris thought he understood a little. The man-child that didn't know how to ask for help was finally learning, and his eyes looked clearer and brighter because of it, though the hunger still lingered behind.

Chris thought this side of Sebastien wasn't that bad either.