A/N:

knightmare of the abyss-

Yes! More Arc Baby. Give me a army of it. Soon they will multiply like Rabbit on mating season and take over the world. HAHAHAHA!

Jaune get out there and make more babies.

I also want more Mini Neo, Schnee-Arc Baby, Balton-Arc Baby, maybe Branwen. You will give more babies for me to spoil. I want at least 100 Babies to spoil

You sound JUST like Kali Belladonna. That will make more sense in the Menagerie Arc. Spoiler alert: it's the longest arc to date. It wasn't supposed to be so complicated. It just happened.

Your Schnee wish may be answered sooner than you'd expect.

Who's Balton?

You didn't notice that Sparrow has a new little brother and sister? Aw.

But seriously, that's a lotta Arc. Seriously, I feel like I turned Jaune into Zeus. It's funny. He's supposed to be Joan of Arc, but I don't see it at all. All the have similar is the name and knight motif. In all other ways, Jaune is more like King Arthur. Starts off as nothing, rises to being a knight, having to make difficult choices that makes him evolve, slowly becoming better and stronger and more heroic. All he needs is the Sword of Destruction and to be revealed to be the blood descendant of the King of Vale and boom, Jaune is King Aurthur. I mean, his sword is Crocea Mors, for crying out loud, Julius Ceasar's sword! The fact that Crocea Mors and the Sword in the Stone are both ancestral swords only makes Jaune more like Arthur.

And now look at what I'm doing to him: he's rich, he's a Remnant superhero, and he's banged plenty of beautiful women. I made him into Batman!

But noooo! I couldn't be satisfied with making Remnant Batman! I had to make him the father to a bunch of kids like he was Zeus! NIMUEH IS LITERALLY A GODDESS! The only big differences between Jaune and Zeus? . . . Jaune's a good dad. He actually WANTS to be in his kids' lives. Plus, he actually loves his wife, unlike Zeus with Hera. And he actually WANTS to be loyal. He's just weak against the booze.

At least Nimueh is as bad as he is. Say what you will about Hera, the woman is faithful and loyal. I haven't found a myth yet where SHE cheats on Zeus, even though she is absolutely justified. Nimueh? She's cheated on Jaune before. True, she was drunk, and more often than not Jaune with drunk with her, meaning those times she technically didn't cheat since Jaune was a part of the little snu-snu session, but the point is that Nimueh isn't sinless. Of course, literally all of her "affair" partners were women. Except for one which will be revealed on a later date.

Guest-

Wasnt expecting this at all LOOOL XD But truth be told, I love it XD Actually seeing as how this is a result of Jaune and Nimueh's december thing, if i recall, didn't Winter and Willow also get caught and dragged as well too? OHOOOOOOOOO XD

Excited for more dude XD

SilentKnight fan here again btw, as a reply to your notes at the top: Glad you love it and no worries dude, take your time on that. It's not a rush. Im actually that you're gonna write it. True works of art take time.
And yes, RT fucked up big time with that contest. ugh dont remind me lol. I tend to keep my expectations low regarding RT tbh but thats a private convo tbh XD Anyways, like always, keep it up dude and I cant wait for more chapters. Cheers XD

Expect zee unexpected ven I am involved, mein friend. Hyu-hyu-hyu. But no, Winter and Willow weren't caught and dragged into this one. Winter has experienced the incredible pleasures of December 1st before, but not this year. And Willow has never experienced December first. But she experienced something A LOT like it on Dust Day, which will be explored on a later day.

Maybe you should make your name SilentKnight fan instead of just Guest. It's starting to grow on me. And thank you for your patience. Maybe the next seasons of Don't tease me and Uzaki wants to Hang Out will inspire a scene.

I apologize, but I must REMIND ALL OF THE SINS OF RT! I WILL NEVER LET RT FORGET THEIR STUPIDITY OF DENYING TEH FANDOM ONE OF THE GREATEST MONSTERS OF ALL MYTHOLOGY! the Wendigo is one of the most underrated monsters in any folklore! I'm glad its getting more recognition, but it deserves more. Marvel's Wendigo is practically its own monster. Same for the Wendigos in Until Dawn. If you ask me, they were more like the Crawlers from The Descent. If you get that reference, then I invite you to join me on a spelunking trip... with a lot of guns... and body armor... and combat knives... and night vision... and guns.

But Antlers?! Now THAT was an... alright Wendigo movie. Felt like it could have done more with the myth, ya know? I just hope the Wendigo shows up more. You could have spread the love, RT. But no, you had to listen to some worthless twat on Twitter who wants to kill the myth for some reason. I don't believe in cultural appropriation like that moron tried to say the art was doing. I believe in cultural APPRECIATION. Those who peddal cultural appropriation are nothing more than idiots who don't want that culture to spread and be appreciated for the amazing culture it could introduce you to. NEVER listen to someone who talks about cultural appropriation. Just think, if it weren't for idiots that believe in that, we might have had more interesting stories form around the world.

Example: how many of you know about Anansi the Illusion Spider of African folklore? How many of you would have loved for him to have gotten a movie or a game? Cultural Appropriation babied prevents characters like him from getting the respect he deserves.

Besides, I don't know about you guys, but I'm kinda burnt out on Greek and Norse mythology. GIVE ME NEW STORIES!

Anyway, onto the story.


Jaune was making sure the King's Glaive had everything they would need to traverse the desert, Argent sitting on the bike with his mother.

"You sure you three can handle it," Sun asked, Jaune looked up to see his friend on his own motorcycle. "I'm sure Sage wouldn't mind going with you."

"I'd sooner send him with you and your little dirt bike."

Sun gasped. "Little?! Hold your tongue, good sir! My Flying Nimbus is every bit as awesome as your King's Glaive! Wanna race to find out?"

"Yeah, let's ra-" Argent began before his mom covered his mouth.

Jaune chuckled. "Just get to Neptune safely, alright? You need to take those supplies on your bike to the settlement he's at, right?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. But Jaune, you should be careful. Heard the Mole Crabs are in season."

"I'm the King of the Grimm. You really think I can't handle a few crab cakes," Jaune asked with a raised eyebrow. "Remember, you and I hunted a Queen Mole Crab."

"Yeah, I remember. How can I forget? A Crab pinched your ass."

"Sun, I will hurt you."

Sun laughed before he reeved his Nimbus. "Guess I'll see you guys at Haibin. Good luck 'Conquering' Vacuo Desert!" Sun then rode off into the desert with his supplies.

Jaune rolled his eyes before he got onto his bike, taking out the helmets for his family. When he made sure everyone was safe, ready, and connected, he rode off into the desert.

Moments later as they rode, now deep into the desert, Argent looked up at his dad. "So, what is a Mole Crab, anyway?"

"Oh, yeah. You never did see one, did you? Or eat one for that matter."

"They can be eaten?"

"Yeah. They're quite delicious. They're one of the few animals on Remnant that are considered as dangerous as Grimm."

"Really? Cool."

"They're also one of the few strong enough to kill Grimm."

"That's even cooler."

"I guess so. But it's not so cool when-" Jaune's instincts kicked in, making him drift through the sand, the family able to see a massive pincer shoot out of the sand and snap shut right where King's Glaive front tire would have been had Jaune not performed his maneuver. "They do that."

"Whoa! that thing's as big as a Beowolf," Argent said as he watched the crab crawl out of the sand.

"Yeah. But that's not where the similarities end."

"Huh?"

"They travel in packs." As soon as Jaune said that more Mole Crabs crawled out of the sand, all of them snapping their claws at the family or hissing. "But the juveniles are usually the only ones who attack humans."

"THESE ARE JUST KIDS," Argent yelled.

"Oh, yeah. These things can grow to be as big as Death Stalkers."

A Mole Crab ran up to Jaune, preparing to rip him apart. Jaune then gave a quick whistle, the Sulfur Fish on his arms waking up. The Grimm then ignited their tails, stretching them out to full length before stiffening them, their tails looking like swords once more. When that blink-and-you-miss-it process was done, Jaune slashed the claw off the giant crustacean. It screamed in pain only for a second before Jaune stabbed right into its head, killing it instantly.

A Crab tried to attack Argent from behind, but he was well known for being a quickdraw, easily deflecting the claw before slamming his sword onto the crab's head, forming many cracks on its shell. It stumbled back and forth before falling to the ground, black water and blood seeping out of the dead crab.

"Huh. I honestly thought I would cut right through it."

"Mole Crabs have incredibly tough shells. You'd need to use your Semblance if you want to cut through it with Crocea."

"How come your Sulfur Fish was able to cut through?"

"Sulfur Fish tails are superheated. Their barbs are usually only hot enough to cause severe burns, but Enhanced I can cut through New Mantle steel with these bad boys."

"Neat," Argent said as he slammed his shield onto another Crab without looking.

Nimueh kicked up a Crab, exposing its belly, before giving it a barrage of kicks that caused the upper shell to splatter all over the sand. The sight of her act scared the rest of the crabs away. "Punks."

"Great work as always, babe," Jaune said.

"Mhm. So, what are we going to do with these things?"

Jaune looked at the four crabs his family killed. "I think Sun said there was a settlement not too far from here. We could get some lien and some supplies if we sell these guys. Maybe get a Vacuan cook to prepare the one you killed."

"Crab for lunch? I approve," Nimueh said with a smile.


Argent looked at the crab curry in front of him, amazed that someone was able to make this with that huge crab.

"Ya gonna stare or eat, kid?" He looked at the bartender, who was cleaning a glass. "Yer Pa can easily afford it, but it's on the house."

"I mean, we were the ones who brought the meat, right?"

"That's why it's on the house," the bartender said, making the other patrons laugh.

Argent looked at the dish and took a bite. His eyes lit up before he scarfed the rest of it down.

"You are now no longer able to complain about my eating habits again," Jaune said to Nimueh.

"Oh, yes I am. You're his dad, meaning he learned how to eat from you."

Jaune shrugged before finishing the rest of his food. When he was done, his family was ready to leave. "Thanks for the grub," Jaune waved.

"Thanks for the haul. Haven't seen a catch that big in ever."

"Keep'em comin', hero," the cook called.

Jaune waved with a roll of his eyes before leaving. The Arcs then hopped onto the King's Glaive and rode off.

Argent looked back at the little settlement before looking at his dad. "Are most Vacuo towns like that?"

"Pretty much. Vacuo is the only real town in the entire desert. Vacuans are nomadic, kiddo."

"Nomadic? Oh! They move around and almost never stay in one place, right?"

"Bingo. Told you you'd learn some useful crap in school."

"Uh, dad, I know that from a movie Uncle Sun showed me."

"Oh."

"I'm beginning to wonder what's the point in sending him to school," Nimueh said.

"Don't put any ideas in his head, Nim." She shrugged.

The family rode through the desert, taking out a few stray Grimm, or letting Jaune Conquer them so they can A. get more allies and B. find out where the Head Grimm was. After a few Sand Sharks and a few Dromedon fights, Jaune was driving them towards a rockier area of the desert.

"Hey, dad, is that where the Boss Grimm is supposed to be," Argent asked as he pointed towards a cave.

"That's what I kept getting out of the other Grimm. Plus, I can sense some pretty dark energy coming from over there. It's our best bet," Jaune said as he reeved up King's Glaive and sped into the cave.

Moments later, they were inside a large area with stone pillars here and there.

"Looks more like a den for Grimm," Nimueh said.

"But with no Grimm. That's not ominous at all," Jaune said as he drove at a snail's pace.

Argent was looking up at the stone ceiling. "Shouldn't there be a giant monster hanging from the ceiling, or at least its minions?"

"Some Grimm are purely solitary, Arie. Due to choice or power or both. It's a bit rare, but it happens. Nevermores and Deathstalkers are usually alone, right?"

"Right. But seriously, where is this Boss Grimm?" Argent then thought of something and looked at the sand. "Sand Sharks swim through the sand, right?"

Jaune stopped driving. He then looked down, gathered fire in his hand, and threw it into the ground. The fireball burrowed into the sand, leaving a glass hole behind before a boom was heard.

It was quiet. Then, a rumbling was heard directly beneath King's Glaive. Jaune reeved the motorcycle to speed out of the spot they were in.

Right as the bike zipped away, a roaring Grimm the size of a King Taijitu shot from the sand, slamming its mouth shut with a boom before it swam in the sand. It was moving even faster than Sand Sharks, the huge Grimm swimming towards King's Glaive.

"Whoa, he's fast! And big," Jaune went as he sped off. "Nim, can you knock it out?! Remember, no killing! We need that thing alive so I can Conquer it!"

"I know the deal, babe," Nimueh yelled as she held out her pinky. A tiny bit of energy formed at the tip. When Nimueh thought it was ready, she fired.

"What the- It bounced off," Nimueh yelled.

"YOUR energy bounced off?! That's impossible," Jaune went.

"Who do you think you're telling?! I know I was holding back, but still! That should have been like a sledgehammer slamming into a helmet! It should have hurt like hell and knocked it out! NOTHING has ever bounced off my energy!"

"I guess this thing isn't the Lord of the West for nothing," Argent went.

"Guess I'm going to have to jump onto it," Jaune said.

"SPEAKING OF JUMP," Argent yelled.

"OH, SHIT," Nimueh went.

"Huh? What's going-" Jaune went before he saw how it was getting darker, hearing a roar as well. "OH, SHIT!"

Jaune drifted just in time to avoid the Grimm from swallowing his family whole. Jaune looked in time to see it disappear into the sand. "That's one hell of a snake," Jaune said.

"I didn't think it would lunge at us like that," Nimueh said.

"My heart's actually pounding. How are you going to beat it without killing it, dad?"

"I'm sure I'll think of- WHOA!" Jaune activated King's Glaive's boosters, driving up the Grimm's bone-plated face right as it began to open its monstrous mouth. When it realized its prey had avoided it once more, it roared in anger and annoyance before it turned and chased after the bike.

"Thing's relentless," Jaune went.

"I think it's mostly just pissed," Nimueh said.

Argent looked back at the monster. "WHOA! Those eyes'll give ya nightmares! Hm? Eyes? . . . Mom, shoot its eye!" Nimueh didn't even think of asking her son and just aimed and fired.

The Grimm cried out in pain before it began to swerve, obviously blinded.

"Alright, mom!" Nimueh snickered at her son.

"Hold on! This'll be a rough turn," Jaune warned, his wife and son barely grabbing him in time as he made an off-the-wall drift. Then, the Grimm slammed into the wall, its body sticking up in the air like an arch.

"Good job with the eye, you two," Jaune went, making his family giggle in both pride and slight embarrassment. "Alright, Nim, take over," Jaune said as he hopped onto the Grimm, Nimueh grabbing the handles and driving at a safe distance.

Jaune slid towards the head of the beast and placed his hand on it. "Alright. You're mine now!"

The colors occurred, and Jaune's yellow quickly took over. But then, not long after, the purple began to push back until it began to spread across Jaune's hand. 'WHAT?!'

'You DARE believe I would be so simple?!' Jaune looked at the squirming Grimm. 'I am no mere Grimm to be tamed! I was created by Lord Darkness himself! You cannot capture my will so easily!'

Jaune ripped his hand off of the Grimm, only to have to grab its fur when it stood upright. It then began to fall back, trying to smash Jaune into the sand.

"Oh, boy," Jaune yelled before running across the Grimm. Jaune was able to kick off the Grimm before it smashed onto the ground, sending out a mini dust storm as he landed on the King's Glaive. "Well, this just got tougher."

Jaune rode through the area, looking out for the Grimm. He then heard a rumbling and looked towards a column, only to be surprised when the Grimm smashed through the pillar, mouth wide open, ready to swallow them whole. Nimueh blasted a beam of Aura behind them, rocketing the bike out of the path of the Grimm.

"Whoa, that thing is dangerous," Argent went.

"Guess Darkness doesn't mess around when he personally creates a Grimm," Jaune said.

"Knowing my father made it makes it really tempting to just destroy it, but it sounds even more fun to make it work for us," Nimueh said. "Now where are you, you overgrown maggot?"

"THERE," Argent went.

The family looked to see the Grimm pop its head out of the sand, its eyes peering into one's very soul.

'Creepy,' the family thought in unison.

Then, the Grimm opened its mouth, energy gathering within it.

"OH, CRAP," Jaune went as he reeved the bike. Not a moment too soon, the Grimm unleashed a laser, the beam chasing after the racing King's Glaive. When Jaune noticed the beam weakening, he gathered fire in his hand, forming a ball. When the beam ceased, he drifted to be able to see the still open mouth of the beast.

"DOWN THE HATCH," Jaune yelled as he threw the fireball down the open mouth.

An explosion occurred, the Dirge of the Sand screeching in pain before it began to wriggle around in the sand, kicking up a storm.

"Nim, take over," Jaune said as he jumped off the bike towards the Dirge.

"Whoa," Nimueh went before grabbing the handles, regaining control over the bike.

When Jaune landed, he tried to Conquer the Grimm again.

'Again, you insult me?! I will not be broken by you, traitor!'

"Traitor," Jaune asked.

'You betrayed our creator! You should be using your power in his glorious name, yet instead, you try to undermine him!'

"Of course, I do! Darkness isn't here! But I am! While he sits around in the void of space, twiddling his thumbs as we suffer, I'm trying to use the Grimm to IMPROVE life on Remnant, not destroy it like he wanted to!"

'BLASPHEMY! You are not worthy of the Lord's great power! You are not worthy of me! YOU ARE NOT MY LIEGE!'

The Dirge then shot into the air before diving towards the sand. "OOOOOHHH, SHIIIIT," Jaune went. He was then dragged beneath the sand.

"JAUNE/DAD!"

Mother and son looked around for Jaune, worried about where he might be. Then, a rumbling occurred.

BOOM

"WHOOOOOAAA," Jaune went along with Dirge's roar. Nimueh reeved the bike to chase after them.

As she rode next to the Grimm, she saw Jaune hanging on to the hairs on the monster's back. "JAUNE! JUMP OFF!"

"NO! I HAVE A CRAZY IDEA!"

"HANGING ONTO THAT THING IS CRAZY!"

"THIS MIGHT BE CRAZIER!"

"WELL, THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER!"

"TRUST ME," Jaune yelled as he climbed up the serpent's back. He then began to climb its stone head, making it roar in annoyance. He then began to do a barrel roll in the sand, the coarse grains hurting Jaune a bit, but in more annoyance than pain. He then climbed farther up until he grabbed above the eye of the beast.

Jaune then held up his arm and whistled, waking up the Sulfur Fish on his arm. He then whistled a different tune. Nimueh and Argent noticed that the Sulfur Fish wasn't stiffening its tails. Jaune then reeled back his arm and swung forward, the barbs swinging like a whip.

The barbs stabbed into Dirge's eye, making the Grimm roar in pain as it swam out of control before slamming into the wall.

Jaune then jumped off the monster's back and gathered his strength into his fist. Next, he looked towards the arched body and aimed for the highest point it rose. Then, with a lunging battle cry, he punched the stomach of the Grimm, making most of its body burst out of the sand, only the tip of the tail so much as touching the sand.

"ARIE, GRAB ITS TAIL!"

Argent didn't hesitate, jumping off the motorcycle and grabbing the monster's tail. Then, activating his Semblance, channeling his Aura into his arms, he gave out a roar of exertion as he yanked the Grimm out of the wall and slammed it onto the ground. After the heavy impact, the beast tried to swim away back into the sand, but Argent was too strong for it.

"THROW IT INTO THE AIR," Jaune yelled as he was gathering magic in his hands.

With another roar, Argent spun the creature around before throwing it towards the ceiling. As if for payback, Dirge spat out a laser at Argent, but Nimueh appeared in front of her son and swatted the beam away like it was nothing.

Then, Jaune threw the magic he gathered at the Grimm. When the ball struck the Grimm, it sent it hurdling into the ceiling, and froze it into the wall. It roared in both anguish... and defeat. The Lord of West Vacuo Desert had been bested, and it knew it.

Jaune looked up at the now-humbled monster, growing wings so he could fly up to it. When he reached the beast, it looked up at him with the same eyes as before, only they weren't as terrifying as before. They weren't scary at all to the King. If anything, they looked sad.

Fearlessly, Jaune reached out and placed his hand on the great sand serpent's snout, Conquering it.

'This is humiliating. I lost... to a traitor.'

"Maybe. . . but you gave me one hell of a fight. You truly do deserve to be the Lord of the Desert Sands."

'Don't patronize me, human.'

"It's not patronizing if it's true, my friend. You were a true challenge."

'Only because you did not wish to slay me.'

"Be that as it may, you are truly powerful. One more than worthy of leading the Grimm of this land. However, you are no longer under the rule of Darkness. You are under mine. As such, you are to lead the Grimm to make sure they never punish the innocent again. From this day forward, you and your Grimm will be the protectors of these sands and those who live in harmony with it. You will be the guardians you should have been from the beginning."

Dirge was silent. 'This will displease My Lord.'

"Probably. . . But I'm the one who'll need to deal with Darkness. You just worry about helping Sky Serpent keep peace and order in the desert... Sand Serpent."

'The Sky and Sand Serpents. . . You are terrible at naming us. . . My liege.'

Jaune chuckled. "You're just going to have to get used to that."

And with that, Jaune's Yellow Conquered the Sand Serpent's Purple, the light enveloping the both of them.

When this happened, a Jackalope preparing to pounce on a panting Huntsman stopped abruptly, confusing the warrior. He was even more shocked when the beast hopped away.

A herd of Dromedon chased after a caravan before stopping abruptly. Then, they just walked away.

Finally, just when a Huntress ran out of ammo and thought she would be swallowed alive by Ziraph, the tall creature stopped and turned to walk away.

Elsewhere, an angry man kicked the wheel of his broken cart before a Sand Shark appeared beneath it. Then another appeared to balance it out. The old man just stared. "Meh. Mirages," he said as he got on the cart. "Come on. To the settlement with ye," he said, the Sharks following his order.

Vacuo Desert was now officially under Jaune's control.


The Arcs rode through the desert, Argent looking out to see the various Grimm just walking and hopping and swimming around. He then saw a Jackalope digging. "What's it looking for," he asked no one in particular. But as soon as he asked, the Jackalope was sent flying out by a geyser of water. When it landed, it shook its head in a cute way only a rabbit could do before hopping away.

Jaune drifted and drove towards the geyser. He parked the bike a bit away from the water and walked up to it, a canteen in hand. He held up the canteen, collecting as much water as he could before walking away, shaking the water off of him. He then drank out of the canteen, letting out a content sigh. "Thought so. Pure spring water."

"You had the Grimm look for spring water," Nimueh asked.

"Of course. Nomads don't exactly have the time to dig around in the desert. I thought that Vacuo had the largest dust deposit in Remnant AND an oasis, but who said it was only in the spot they were found? So, I had the Grimm, who can take the heat and don't need to drink, search for any other water veins. Might take a few years, but this will be a nice oasis in no time." Jaune then took a picture of the geyser before sending it.

"Uncle Sun," Argent asked.

"Bingo."

His scroll rang.

"That was way too fast," Jaune said before answering, but holding it away from his ear.

'TELL ME YOU DIDN'T JUST FIND A WHOLE FREAKIN' WATER SOURCE IN VACUO!'

"What you saw was real, Sun. I even sent you the coordinates. Just don't let anyone go too crazy. It'll be a long time before this is an actual oasis."

'DUDE, THIS IS VACUO! THAT GEYSER WILL HAVE A THRIVING SETTLEMENT THERE BEFORE YOU GET RUBES PREGS AGAIN!'

Jaune stiffened. "The hell are you talking about?"

'Ah. Uh, could you... forget that,' Sun asked nervously.

Jaune's eyebrow twitched before he sighed. "You reach Haibin yet?"

'Uh, yessir. Don't worry. I've already found Ahab, too. I'm just waiting for you guys at this point."

"We'll be there soon enough."


Later, Argent was excited to see the ocean town. "That's Haibin?! It looks like one of Aunt Blake's paintings!"

"Well, Sun did base it off of Menagerie," Jaune said as they drove into town.

As they walked around, they saw how plentiful the town was. Happy people, a good number of Huntsmen, and a lot of trade. Fish, pearls, and Dust. Neptune was honestly surprised he found such a huge Dust vein when he led the first underwater excavation of Vacuo's seas. It's what helped the town prosper.

The Arcs then found the Salty Spitoon, the bar Sun texted Jaune to meet him in. Before they could even enter, some smuck was sent flying out the doors, Jaune catching the guy by the head. "You alright?"

"That all ya got," the bloody guy with a swollen mouth said as Jaune put him back on the ground. "Ya call that a punch? Me ma punches harder." The guy stood there before he fell face-first onto the ground.

"And stay out ya punk."

Jaune looked up to see what he guessed was the bouncer. "Welcome to the Salty Spitoon. How tough are ya?"

"What the? Is this a bar or a club?"

"This is the toughest sailor club ever built in all of Remnant."

"Mm. Remind me to kill Sun for making us meet him here," he said to Nimueh, who held a thumbs up.

"Heh. Sure. You know Sun Wukong. And I know Jaune Arc."

"And you know me how exactly?"

"Hah?" The man then looked Jaune over. "You think YOU'RE Jaune Arc? The Vale Knight?!" The bouncer then laughed. "The biggest, baddest sonofabitch to ever walk on Remnant? The big guy who turns Grimm to stone with a blink of an eye?"

"That's Ruby. If you're going to make trivia about us, get your facts straight."

"Oh, yeah? Well, you ain't Arc, pretty boy. He's a freakin' giant with a sword the size of a mountain."

"Does he mean Crocea or mom?"

"He'd BETTER mean Crocea," Nimueh went with a death glare, but the bouncer was too busy staring... well, up at Jaune to notice.

"So why don't you take your cute little family to Renny's or somethin'?"

"The hell is Renny's," Jaune asked with a raised eyebrow. "Anyway, I don't care if you think I'm who I am or not. Is Sun in?"

"Yeah, he's in here, but you ain't coming in. This place is too tough for a prissy family like yours. That is unless you think you can take me."

Jaune then punched the guy in the face faster than an eye could blink, sending him crashing through the bar and into the next building. "Guess I'm tough enough." Argent laughed his butt off at that, with Nimueh struggling to keep herself from doing the same.

"But seriously, dad, how can someone NOT recognize you," Argent asked as the family went into the bar.

"Vacuo doesn't really keep up with international news. It's honestly a miracle anyone knows my name around here, besides Teams SNNN and CFVY."

"I knew you were the one who did that." Jaune looked over to see Sun sitting at a bar. "Only you and Yang could do that much damage." Jaune walked up to Sun and conked him over the head. "Ow."

"That's for making us meet at a bar."

"Sorry. I didn't think things through."

"My ten-year-old son literally slept in your house."

Sun shrugged. "I'm a bumbling fool, what can I say? How about I treat you to this bar's special cocktail, the Salty Sea Serpent?"

"Lot of Ss in this place," Nimueh said as she sat down.

Jaune sighed as he sat down.

"Hey, Will, three Salty Sea Serpents and a Little Mermaid's Voice."

"On it," the barkeep said.

"So, where's this captain of yours? Ahab?"

"He's in the little captain's room. Guy was getting drunk before you showed up," Sun said as the bartender placed three blue drinks in front of the adults and a red cake in front of Argent.

"Why am I just now realizing that a barkeep is serving a kid," Jaune said.

"Listen, bud, this is Vacuo. We don't got a lot of rules around here. If you can survive here, you're welcome here. Besides, it's just a cake with rum in it," the barkeep said as he walked off to care for another customer.

"A cake with what in it," Argent's parents asked as they looked at their son.

"Hey, this is really good," Argent said as he ate the cake. "Think we can have this on my birthday?"

Jaune groaned as he put his face in his hand. "First he drinks whiskey in Anima, now he eats rum in Vacuo. Ruby would kill me if she found out."

"Least we know the kid can hold his own," Sun joked.

"Wukong, we will hurt you," the husband and wife said in scary unison.

"Noted," he said as he held up his hands in defense before taking his glass. "To Haibin," he said as he raised the glass.

The couple sighed before following their friend's lead. "To Haibin."

They toasted before guzzling down their drink.

"That really is salty," Jaune said.

"Wouldn't want to have this while lost in the ocean," Nimueh said.

"That's actually why it's popular. Sailors say that only real men drink this while out in the ocean to spit in her face and tell them they aren't afraid of her," Sun explained.

Jaune chuckled. "That's kinda dumb. . . I like it."

"Aye. But sometimes lack of brains be needed in her cruel realm."

Jaune looked behind him to see a grizzled sailor in an ocean blue trench coat, watery brown hair, a scar on his right cheek that looked like something tried to bite his face off, and a pegleg that had a muzzle at the end.

"Captain Ahab, I presume."


Here's a fun reimagining of the How Tough Are You scene:

"Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are ya?"

"How tough am I? Uh, well, these things on my arms are real," Jaune said.

The bouncer looked at the sleeping Sulfur Fish. "Yeah, right. They look cool, but everyone knows Grimm turns to dust after ya kill 'em. Nice try, pretty boy."

Jaune had a neutral look before he whistled. The Sulfur Fish flashed awake before they crawled all over Jaune and stood on his shoulders. They hissed at the bouncer before wrapping their tails around his head, not touching him, but the tails were close enough for the man to feel the heat.

"AH! Uuuuh. R-Right this way, sir. Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Mm," Jaune went before walking in.

"Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, Sweet Cheeks. How tough are ya?"

Nimueh's eyebrow twitched. "Sweet Cheeks?"

She then punched the sign right next to the bouncer's head. The bouncer knew full well that the sign was made out of pure steel, and the beauty in front of him didn't just punch it, she sent it flying through the bar so fast, that not only did it blast out of the bar, it made a sonic boom.

"Wanna try calling me that again?"

The man lost all color on his face. He cleared his throat. "Right this way. Sorry, ma'am." Nimueh sucked her teeth before walking in.

Argent was about to follow her.

"Hold on, kid. How tough are ya?"

"Hm? Umm. Oh!" Argent then grabbed the man's leg.

"Heh. Yeah. Nice grip. Now, why don't you run along, cutie."

The parents then stopped. "Oh, crap," they went in unison.

Argent then had a dark aura around him. "Did you just call me... cutie?"

"Yeah. You're a cute kid. This place is too tough for something so preci-"

Argent flung the man into the sky, the man screaming as he flew.

"Tough enough for ya," Argent called. He then walked into the bar.

Moral of the story: Calling Argent cute is a bad idea. Calling him a cutie is a death sentence.


A/N: I just realized something. The next chapter is the big 5-0. I think chapter fifty is a great time to ask you guys something: Who's your favorite character so far? Is it our main hero, Jaune Arc? Is it his hot yet slightly bitchy wife that some of you like to call Sword Mom? Is it his adorable son who can and will tie you up into a pretzel if you call him cute? Maybe it's Sparrow or Lyra or Verde. Ruby, Winter, or even Raven. Don't be shy. Tell us if you have a favorite character so far and why. Or not. Whatever. We're going on a boat next chapter anyway.

Until then.