I'm about to play a campaign of Rise of the Runelords in 2E and I was so inspired by the character I came up with that I decided to write a novella chronicling their backstory. And so here it begins!
Of Two Minds – The Tale of Ashan
A Novella by Novem's Natural Roll
Prologue: The Nature of Things
Takes Place: 4692 AR
Second Draft
I sniff the air as I awaken, my bulbous black nostrils dragging in the atmosphere like a predator seeking its dinner. The scents of home tickle my snout. The first thing I catch whiff of is the strong smell of mother's cooking. It's drifting in from the kitchen through the ramshackle collection of planks we call my bedroom door, giving away that she's preparing breakfast. The aroma of the different ingredients is easy to separate, so I can even figure out what's cooking. The spongy scent of steam infusing wheat indicates stuffed buns, while the sizzling smell of frying vegetables combined with the pasty odor of cooking rice noodles indicates a dish to go alongside them. My hungry stomach forces a smile onto my muzzle as it seeks the good fortune of its first meal of the day. But before that... I smell deeper, the way my friends do.
The next scent underneath the cooking is the basic smell of the materials making up our home. The sweet, woody smell of our straw roof. The dry aroma of the aging wood planks making up the wall, intensified by the heat of the morning sun. Finally, the fruity perfume of the laundry detergent mother uses on the cloth that makes up our curtains, blankets, and the pillow beneath my head. I still haven't gone deep enough, so I seek even further into the depths of smell in the air. I seek past the familiar scents of my family members and neighbors, past the spices mother keeps in the kitchen drawers, and past the strong repulsing stench of livestock. I search beyond the natural scents of wet tropical jungle intermingling with those of the lively commune where I live... for the more subtle odors, the one's hiding details that I should be incapable of perceiving. And there, I "see" it, what my friends always saw... a maze made of the rainbow.
It's a sight I see only in my mind's eye, a visualization I use to break down the overwhelming amount of stimuli my nose is picking up on into something I'm capable of interpreting. Every smell is represented by a different shade of a different color, and a smoky line leading down one of the maze's many passages. A teal line whirls to and fro, leading to my favorite pond and all of its playful water creatures. A line of solid earthy brown traces a straight path to the calm wild herbivores, munching on grass and easily spooked by foxes such as I. An intense line of deep purple leads to a den of monsters fraught with savage danger. Those are just a few of the ones I'm familiar with… there are many more. Every other line is an unknown thing to discover. An object, a life, or even a corpse… a mystery one could only solve by following the line to its terminus, or by making some intelligent inferences.
For instance, a faded white line leads to the house next door... it smells of steam and sweat, the signs of a bathing neighbor. Another line red as blood leads to the butcher, stinking of freshly slaughtered meat that turns my nose. Yet another line - this one a bright pink - leads to the local women's hut... it reeks of freshly made perfume. Beyond the commune however are the most interesting lines, one's hiding secrets I hadn't yet unearthed and whom scant details could be inferred about. Specifically, a collection of particularly interesting and brand new scents I'd never detected before caught my attention. It wasn't rare for me to pick up on new scents - I was still exploring this ability of mine after all - but these smells stood out because sniffing at them seemed to suggest something alive, something I definitely would've caught onto yesterday if it was there. This indicated some new creatures had entered the forest since the previous morning. Curious, but that was all I could tell from here... there are limits to what my nose is capable of, after all.
The mystery of it doesn't bother me though, it's just a series of wonders to be later revealed... and my nose isn't so precise that I can guarantee these scents are even real. They could just be a flicker of my imagination, for all I know. It wouldn't surprise me, or demoralize me. Every truth is valuable after all, and every mistake a chance to learn. That I'm familiar with so many of these smells doesn't bother me either. The recognizable aromas instead enrapture me with the relaxing familiarity of home... something that certainly holds its own appeal. The unfamiliar can be as scary as it is exciting, and the familiar can be as comforting as it is boring. I embrace the comforting part and become a bit meditative, taking a deep breath while sinking further into my blankets. My stomach may be eager, but it's easily suppressed by the calming urge to simply exist for a little while. Unfortunately, this urge is quickly disrupted, as a sharp pain strikes me on the side of the head.
"Ow!" I cry, bolting up while grabbing the side of my head in pain. The orange-red fur of my tail bristles with caution as I seek out the source of my problem. Clearly, I'd sunk a bit too deeply into the scents of the world. I'd not noticed the muzzle of my older brother peeking through the window – nor the clawed fingers of his hands wrapped around his slingshot – until now, when they are withdrawn to better watch my reaction. Well, I say older, but in truth the maturity in my family runs in the reverse in terms of physical age. That said – since I'm the middle child – I'm not against some fair turnabout.
I pretend not to notice my brother as I scan the floor for the pellet he'd fired while rubbing the spot he'd hit. Finding it, I make an act of standing up. I bend my knees and lean forward as I lift myself off my bed, allowing me to grab the projectile from where it rolled onto the floor... all without arousing suspicion. It's a hard nut, perfect for a secret assault at a distance, and unlikely to cause any serious damage. The reasons an experienced hunter like my brother chose it, no doubt. I roll it over in my hand for a second to familiarize myself with its weight, shape, and heft. Then - with keen precision - I turn and roll the nut across my hand, up my finger, and to the tip of my claw... all as I extend it in an effort to maximize the force of my throw. It's a perfect one too. The nut cuts the air with a whistle and blows past the curtain with ease to land directly on target, right in the center of my brother's forehead.
"Owwww!" He yells, falling back as the nut cracks apart from smacking so hard into his temple. Having falling to the ground and surely rubbing his pained temples, he calls out to me. "Cmon Ashan! I didn't hit you that hard!"
"Sure, but it's also not the first time you've done that. Besides, I told you to stop and leave me be! You didn't listen!"
"I was just playing around, and you were so spaced out! Like usual…"
I guess I couldn't blame him for not understanding the importance of training my nose to me, or my appreciation for the lazier things in life. He'd always been much more firey and driven than me. I kind of looked up to it, but it did get infuriating sometimes. Especially when I'm trying to concentrate! Still, I'd gotten my revenge and I'm not a mean-spirited guy, so I sigh as I head to the window. Pulling aside my curtain, I see a short trail of blood running from where I'd hit him. It blends nearly seamlessly into his red fur, but I have a trained eye.
"It's not too bad. Come here."
He grins up at me from the ground as I reach out my hand. He takes it and I pull him through the window onto the top of the makeshift desk I have sitting underneath it. He smiles and sits down as I dig through the drawers for some bandages.
"You're so reliable Ashan!"
I grimace as I pull my wooden first-aid box from the drawer and set it down next to him.
"Don't make fun of me Haya." I complain as I pull some freshly sanitized white cloth from the bin, along with a bowl and pestle for grinding herbs. "You know you're the bigger brother right? You're even taller than me! Act your age!"
He frowns a bit sadly.
"Loosen up Ashan, I was being serious that time." Smiling again, he pumps his arm. It's the gesture he usually does in the rare times he's being genuine. "It was a compliment, swear!"
"Okay. Sorry then."
"It's fine little brother, I'm already over it!"
I smile a bit.
"I'm not surprised, you get over things fast."
"No, I just don't get over things as slowly as you do." He sticks out his tongue in a teasing gesture and pokes me on the head where he hit me, hard. It hurts a bit but it's light enough that I slap away his hand and move on. I also can't help but admit he has a point so I simply grin a little and shake my head as I crush and grind some medicinal herbs. Wetting the cloth with some clean water from a bottle inside my kit, I dip it into the cup to adhere the herbs to it, then I wrap it around his head. After briefly examining my work and tightening the bandage to my satisfaction, I nod and smile.
"Good as new. You can take it off in a few hours once the pain goes away, alright?"
"Got it!" He hops down and pulls me into a hug. I awkwardly accept it. His tail wags fiercely while mine kind of just swishes with uncertainty. It's not that I hate this kind of thing, but the touchy-feely stuff has never really been my strong suit. If I had pale cheeks like the humans or elves I'd seen in books, they'd be super red right now. I'm glad when he lets me go… but also kind of sad too? It's complicated. I distract myself from the emotions by repacking my box as he leaves, though I'm sure to turn about and tell him something first.
"Next time save that thing for hunting and target practice… on things that aren't my head!"
He shrugs in response. Then approaches me and taps me eagerly on the shoulder, even though I'm already looking at him.
"You know though little brother, you'd be a great hunter if you tried! That was one helluva throw!" He makes a show of imitating my form to emphasize his point. He's genuinely impressed. Still, I sigh as I roll my eyes and stuff my first-aid kit back into its drawer.
"Thanks for the compliment Haya, but you know I'm a vegetarian for a reason, right?"
He splays his hands indignantly.
"Yeah, yeah… you don't want to hurt the poor animals. I get it."
I turn to him and smile.
"I don't think you do." I scratch my head awkwardly. "For me, eating one of them... it would be like eating you."
"Oh no, am I that tasty!?"
His face contorts as he backs away in mock horror. I scowl.
"You know what I meant!"
He laughs as he steps out of the door with a wink and a, "I love you too little bro."
"Yeah, yeah…" I trail off as I scratch the back of my head while watching my brother's puffy tail disappear through it. I should've just said I love you back... why is that so hard?
My tail sags guiltily at the thought as I turn around and fetch my clothes for the day, the same white silken robe I wear every day… as is required of me as the healer's apprentice. I have to shake my tail to get it through the slit on the rear, but otherwise it isn't too bad. It's light, easy to move in… and the material is gentle enough to make a soothing experience when it brushes over my fur. Yet I still don't like this getup. My preferred arena is the wild, and I'd been scolded any number of times for sullying this robe with the stains of nature. I'm so used to being forced to wash it and my master's robes as punishment that whenever I wear it, I feel like I'm going to turn around and trip over a washbasin.
Anyway, after dressing and taking care of some basic grooming – trimming the black-tipped fur of my ears and tail, brushing my teeth, taking a quick dip in the washbasin to remove the aroma of sweat that had built during the hot night, etcetera – I make my way to the kitchen. My family's already there, and a few others beside. This is a commune after all, so it's hardly unusual for the children and parents of our neighbors to stop by for breakfast. My mother is an excellent cook, and she'd been gifted by our elders a gloriously large table to show for it. This is all to say I'm not surprised by the number of guests arrayed around the long eating surface, populating its benches. Choosing my own seating, I'm careful to avoid the very young children… I'm not a fan of having the fur on my tail pulled at, especially after I'd just combed it. I'm happy to see I avoided notice by the little monsters as I sit down at the unpopulated end and bury my face in my arms with a throaty, but pleasant yawn. My tail shakes a little unconsciously as I observe the others out of one red eye.
Most of the adults are arrayed on either side of the young children on the other end of the table, father included. He's the enthusiastic sort just like my brother so it's no wondering where that personality came from. Others probably would be disgusted by how quickly he scarfs down his meal while playing around with the children, patting them on the head and making games out of eating their food, but not us sitting here. We're used to it. Though you can tell my mother has mixed feelings, watching him out of the corner of her eye from the stove. She simultaneously smiles at how good he is with children... and has her pupils dilate in righteous fury at the mess he's making. He'd pay for it later, being forced to clean up the mess himself while being scolded about it, but he's used to that too. Maybe he's a masochist, he seems to enjoy it every time. He's always wearing that stupid grin on his face.
I shiver a little, I'm glad no one knows the weakness that makes me so easy to manipulate. Except…
"Good morning!" The one small child I actually like makes a bold declaration upon her arrival. Standing in the doorway from deeper inside the hut we call a house, she splays her arms forth as if expecting a hug. I don't blame her. She's small for her age, and she has bulging green eyes and lush black fur (a far more common color among our people than mine, but the shine she has makes it more uniquely compelling). That is to say my little sister Rin is very adorable. If I wasn't an awkward loner, I'd probably eagerly accept the unspoken offer of her gesture. Luckily, as she always does, she makes the first move and runs up to me. Hopping up onto the bench next to me, my ten year old sister gives me a generous hug from the side while enthusiastically crying out, "Good morning big brother!"
If it was anyone else, I'd get annoyed... but she was far too precious for that. I feel bad but I'm way too anxious about it to return her gesture of sibling love with any amount of serious enthusiasm. Instead, I simply pat her on the head while replying with a smile, "Good morning to you too, sis."
Lucky me, this seems to be enough for her. Her sharp toothy smile soothes the pain of my guilt at being unable to return her gestures of appreciation. She slides down into her seat next to me while humming, and I appreciate her consideration. I know in truth that her preference would be to sit on the other end of the table with her equally aged friends and my other family members, but she's way too kind to leave me alone. More than that, she shows not even a hint of the contempt I deserve for being so anti-social only for her to pay the price. Rather, she's always seemed content with me the way I am. I don't deserve it, but I do appreciate it… and the maturity it takes to look out for a person whose responsibility it should be to look out for you. Some big brother I am…
I'm distracted from the pity party I'm holding for myself by mother going to the head of the table. Her air of authority is impenetrable even for the tiny fox children too young to speak, and even they stop eating in respect as they'd been taught.
"Everyone's here…" She says. "…so before we continue, it's time to give thanks for our good fortune!"
Everyone folds their hands as tradition dictates as we silently pray to the chosen goddess of our commune, Desna. Well, not "we". I simply sit in silence and sniff the air as a distraction. Not that I'm stupid enough to deny the goddess's existence or power, but I am principled enough to deny their right to wield that power over me. In fact, maybe you could consider this my way of worshipping her. She's all about freedom, right? Worship isn't very freeing. Anyone who wants you to bow to them in return for their charity isn't worth serving. If the stories I was raised on taught me anything, they'd taught me that.
The entire reason my people were out here living in this little jungle commune in the first place was because we'd been persecuted so many centuries ago by the Lung Wa Empire. They hadn't been big fans of non-humans like us, and the citizenry had mindlessly accepted that rather than defending their neighbors. As a result, our ancestors disappeared into these jungles to live our lives in peace and seclusion. They'd formed this commune and set limits to ensure it would never grow, such as our three-child rule or our population cap. This way, we wouldn't become beholden to any form of grand civilization seeking to take away our rights and disintegrate our bonds with each other. It was a story I'd always resonated with, and why I understood the steps we took to keep our home secret from outsiders. No Non-Kitsune had ever visited the commune, and presumably none ever would.
Anyway, you'd think people raised on stories like that would recognize the dangers of unconditional servitude to a greater power. But no, they simply say the same morning prayers to our goddess they always do, not realizing the contradiction. It's fine... no big deal. It's perfectly harmless for those like us, living our isolated lives in the middle of nowhere. And I'm not really the type to challenge expectations anyway, it'd be awkward, so I always pretend to pray with everyone else just like I am now. Maybe if I opened up, I'd get lucky and find some kindred spirits had also been faking their "thanks" for the things we'd earned with our own hard work... but it's not worth the risk. I already have friends. Plus, as I said, if Desna is the real deal then I'd prefer to embody her values than kiss her feet. So that's what I do, every day... or at least every day I can afford to.
As my mother hands me my bowl of food after the conclusion of Morning Prayer - and I thank her for it - I wonder how I can embody those values today. As I bite through the steamed bun and savor the taste on my tongue, I consider the new scents I'd detected this morning and determine this day would be the perfect one to seek them out and find out something new about the world, just as Desna would want. But first, I did have my duties to fulfill. Cleaning was of course left to my father after breakfast, especially since everyone knew how important it was for my robes to stay clean. Though Rin always volunteered to help with a cheer only to make things worse on purpose in order to get a laugh out of father. Crazy for sure, but also way too cute to hate. Left with no responsibilities to fulfill at home, I'm left to depart and link up with my master at her own hut, and so that's what I do.
My master is an older woman called Miss Minako. She's of a sort that is both gentle and ruthless. She has high standards because she recognizes the importance of her duty as the sole healer in our commune. As I'm her apprentice, she also has high standards for me. Her scathing critiques – accompanied by the terrifying look of her narrow flame-colored eyes and her long sharp molars – had become something I deeply feared. I'm lucky then that I'm quite suited to her work, so I rarely invite her wrath and instead invite the gentle headpats of a pleased mistress. This is very close to my weakness so I try not to drool when she does that. Luckily, she's a bit of an airhead when it comes to details unrelated to the work at hand, so she's never noticed and figured out how I can easily be controlled. If she did it would be quite terrifying...
Regardless, when it comes to work, she's incredibly responsible and dutiful. I've always admired these traits in my master and tried to replicate them in myself. She's not the type to use me to cover for her own failings or take up the work she used to do herself. Miss Minako understands the deep importance of my training to our commune and takes it incredibly seriously, never wasting my time by sending me off on her errands. Rather, she takes me along, today included.
We go out to pick herbs together, but I do not participate. Instead, she sits me down in front of every herb we need to pick with a sketchbook in hand, making me draw them and take notes as she lectures me on their potential uses. If anything, this makes more work for her... but she does it happily, and appreciates my intense focus on learning the things she has to teach. More than that, she appreciates that I take to the information so well, rarely needing to ask questions while still clearly maintaining the knowledge (which she ensures by testing me at complete random with quizzes or challenges, like pointing out a specific herb the second I hear its name). When we return from our venture, she beams with pride as she rewards me with one of her famous headpats. Again, I try not to drool.
"Now Ashan, we're both getting older all the time… I'm getting closer to the end while you're getting closer to the beginning, so I'm very proud of you for taking so well to my teachings." She says this while rubbing me between the ears. It takes all my willpower to not let my tongue hang out like I'm a dog. Still, I try to pay attention to what she's saying, even if it doesn't make much sense. She's only in her late thirties for crying out loud! But with the way she's talking about it, you'd think she was knocking on Pharasma's door. "Anyway, since you did so well today, I want to see how well you're progressing. Here." She hands me a bundle of papers tightly bound with a flexible band made from natural materials. Contained within is a number of recipes for herbal medicines, which I figure out by carefully flipping through the tops of the pages with one of the my claws. "Take these, gather the materials, and mix the medicines all on your own. I'll use the medicines on myself afterward, so they better be good!"
"But... Miss Minako, what about the medicines that require an open wound?" I cock my head in confusion. The first medicine in the stack is literally a coagulant. She takes on a prideful grin while closing her eyes and picking up a knife.
"I will be manually causing injuries to myself to see how well you repair them. So be sure to take this seriously."
Now my tongue does hang out, along with the rest of the insides of my muzzle.
"What!? Are you insane!?"
At this question, her smile widens into something warmer as she pats my head some more.
"I'm glad to see that you have the concern for others which will make you a great healer, but we will be doing this." Her expression is even and strict as she says that, it's an order, not a request... and her orders are absolute. As I shift uncomfortably, she frowns and looks down at her blade. "Do know that I'm not doing this because I enjoy getting hurt. Injuries don't happen that often around here, but when they do you need to be ready. You can't be ready unless you have someone to practice on. And I know that you would never be okay with using animals. As your master, it'd be wrong of me to disrespect your value for life, when our profession is fundamentally all about protecting it."
I don't reply, I just grind my teeth and look down in frustration. She's going to be hurting herself out of consideration for my feelings... and that makes for the sharpest guilt to pierce my heart I've ever had. That's no easy feat, I shoot myself in the heart with that weapon on a daily basis. Seeing my guilt, Miss Minako sets herself down on one knee and holds both of my cheeks tightly in her clawed hands.
"Know that my willingness to do this has everything to do with my faith in you, Ashan. I'm sure that any harm I suffer will be rectified by you in short order."
Knowing this whole situation can't be avoided, and being humbled by how incredible my master was to be willing to put herself through this, I find some determination in my heart and meet her gaze with a nod.
"I won't let you down."
"I know that already." With that, she stands and points out the door. "Now get to work! And take your time! A healer must never rush…"
"…lest they do more harm than good." I finish with a smile.
"That's right. I'll see you tomorrow Ashan, but only show up when you're ready. Make sure to collect quality ingredients and come ready to address my injuries with a steady mind."
I nod again, trying to avoid trembling at the pressure she's placed on me as I turn and leave. I'm glad for the ample deadline, it means I don't have to get right to work and I can wait until the tension inside me goes away. To help ease it, I decide it's time to pay my friends a visit. After carefully placing the papers my master had given me into my pack, I bend over forward, splaying my hands onto the ground. Taking a deep breath, I let the pressure of my nature take over. My things are absorbed into my fur as my body shrinks to an eighth its usual size. Now looking no different from a normal fox, at least beyond the distinguishing black tips of my ears and tail, I bound out into the jungle surrounding our commune.
My friends are not difficult to locate. In this jungle, they're everywhere… and as long as I play my part in their grand game, they are none the wiser that I don't belong. The animals of the forest see me as just another one of them, especially since I'm so practiced at the act. I'd lived among them my whole life. When the burdens of being a member of our community got to me, I'd go out into this jungle to be the truest version of myself. For most Kitsune, the form where we stand on two legs in our true self, but for me... it's a mask. Out here… roaming the jungle... seeing things in a way no other living being could... learning the skills of its denizens… I feel free. I feel happy and unburdened. Whether it's digging literal foxholes to blend in with others of my kind, or teasing the herbivores to summon my own foxy laughs, or watching the monkeys high in their branches where they feel safe from my teeth… I feel at home out here in nature. Even the times where I have to break character and care for an injured animal with my medical skills, I feel at peace.
But peace is overrated while I have mysteries to solve! I indulge in it for a while nonetheless to cure the fear ailing my heart, but ultimately I remember I still have my service to Desna to worry about. Clocking those new scents as the animals of the jungle had taught, and employing the tracking skills I'd learned from my brother when I was a child, I navigate the jungle in search of the source of the smells. At some point during my pursuit, I recognize a change that I can't quite interpret, which only excites me to chase after them more. The passage of time begins to feel like a plaything as I slide across it as if I'm riding a sled. But when I finally find my quarry, the excitement in my heart vanishes in an instant. I'm close enough now and it's been long enough that I recognize the scent of death, a scent that drives me forward in a much different way. In a panic, I start running as quickly as my little fox paws will carry me… and wary that it might be outsiders, I bound up into the trees to get a better vantage point. Finally, peeking over the edge of a large branch, I catch sight of a view that will change my life forever. I don't know it, but the corpses of dead outsiders – and the remaining signs of battle around them – will signify the end of the peaceful life I have long treasured.
