Of Two Minds – The Tale of Ashan
A Short Story Series by Novem's Natural Roll
Chapter 3: Mourning Past
Takes Place: 4692 AR
First Draft
I roll the arrow over in my hand, contemplating it… contemplating the things I'd discovered. The suffering my brother had inflicted. It was so obvious if I just looked a little closer, thought a little longer. After finding the arrow, I'd tried to deny it had been him, tried to figure out a way it could all be a lie… but it wasn't. Examining the site of the massacre had cleansed my doubt with a cold wave of reality.
And it had been a massacre. The reason that man hadn't had his spear in hand when he died? Obvious with just a second of thought: the outsiders had surrendered, and then they were killed anyway. The dozens of dead bodies having died in similar positions, all clawing for the weapons they'd tossed in a preparation to negotiate were proof enough of that… All because they dared to walk a road, maybe go a bit deeper into the jungle than my brother had thought was allowed.
In the end, I had to face an undeniable truth: my brother is a murderer. Worse, a butcher of people. A cruel, terrifying bringer of death and suffering. Not just him either… every hunter who'd followed his command.
It's so hard to reconcile this image of Haya with the grinning mischief-maker who I know as my older brother. Even as I'd dug a mass grave for those he'd slaughtered, it was hard to imagine the scene in my head. Had he still been wearing that grin on his face as he'd given the order? As his victims screamed in pain and begged for mercy? As the lizard man's screams dulled and fell silent from repeated slams to the head with his own club that he'd given up…? Was Haya so much of a monster that he just didn't care, didn't recognize what he was doing? I don't know. I can't know. It's in a past I can't reach, and it's not something I even know how to begin asking him about. I can only see its results, flashing through my mind's eye. I can only see the terrified expression imprinted onto the face of every corpse I'd rolled into the pit.
The arrow snaps in my grip from the frustration of wishing I could've done more. The pain of the splinters digging into my skin, the redness of the blood leaking down the palm of my hand… I watch it and I don't even react. It's nothing compared to what those people had suffered in their final moments.
We do have at least one thing in common though, we'll never see our families again. Them not at all, and me… never in the same way.
"Ashan…?"
I look up. Standing there limp-tailed and worried is the one person that declaration doesn't apply to. It's weird to hear her say my name like that instead of the usual "big brother", but the devastation in my face must just be bad enough to warrant it. I'm sure it gets even worse when I see her and realize that she'd eventually have to face up to who they really were too. I freeze at the thought that I might have to be the one to break the illusion she's under, and time freezes with me. A memory jumps to my mind, a time when a dark truth about the past was revealed to me the first time. That description might not make it seem that way, but the recollection is actually a happy one.
It was ten years ago. I was three years old and Rin had been born just a couple days prior. It's embarrassing to admit now, but I was incredibly jealous back then. Rin's birth had prompted a flurry of activity from my parents to care for the newborn and it felt almost as if I'd been abandoned. My parents had always been doters, but with them focused on baby Rin and my brother focused on playing with his friends… I'd never felt more lonely in my life. I was even more quiet back then than I am now, which didn't help my social prospects much. I kept myself busy by practicing my transformation into a fox, but that could only while away so many hours. Eventually I'd just be left to curl up on my windowsill and wait as my toys sat abandoned.
I've come to appreciate such moments of calm now… the wind ruffling my fur, the slow drift of clouds in the sky, and the sights and smells of nature to explore… but back then, it just made me feel alone. Whereas now I get trapped in such moments out of a sense of wonder, back then I got trapped in such moments out of a sense of incredible loneliness. A sense that made me feel like crying. A sense that actually did get me to cry myself to sleep a few times.
Quiet as I was back then, my parents could sense how I was feeling, and I think they even saw me crying myself to sleep once or twice. Father made an effort to sit with me instead of the other kids during mealtime, constantly patting me on the head and excitedly playing games with my food to my mostly pretend annoyance. The few times my mother wasn't busy with the baby or catching up on lost sleep, she'd grab me off the windowsill unexpectedly and plop me down in front of my toys. They would even get my brother to play tug-of-war with me in fox form… the one game I was always better than him at.
But these brief interactions just weren't enough to satisfy me among the hours and hours I spent in isolation. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore. One day, I was sitting on the windowsill and I could see the treeline in the distance. The window – or, well, I call it a window when it was really just a grate made of particularly strong twigs – was unlocked, and a little blue bird landed right outside of it before heading for those trees. With all the ignorance of the danger a toddler has, I dove out the window excitedly to go after it… hoping we could play together.
Of course, it has wings and I don't. It lost me pretty fast, but by the time it did I'd lost all sense of direction or where I was. Which direction was home? I didn't know. You might expect me to have been scared given the circumstance, but I wasn't. Childish as I was, I just found a new playmate. This time a butterfly. A much more manageable target in terms of speed, but it lost me eventually too. I ended up next to a pond, and grew fascinated with a frog. I thought it was pretty funny and I tried unsuccessfully to imitate its croaking noises.
These little fascinations carried me all around the jungle for hours. It's a wonder I didn't stumble into anything more dangerous faster, but reality did catch up with me eventually. While trying to learn how to climb a tree in order to get to a bird's nest, I fell down and tumbled right into a hunter's net trap. It pulled me all the way up into a tree, so at first I thought it was pretty neat. But when I realized I couldn't get out, I turned back into my normal form and started crying in fear. This brought the hunters who'd set the trap, outsiders. I'd never seen any before, and it is a childhood memory so seeing them back then is quite the vague memory… but the fleshy things did fascinate me enough to stop me from crying.
"Hey look pa, we caught something… thank Erastil!" One of them said in Tien. "Dinner here we come!"
Luckily I was old enough to understand what that meant, and started crying again. I wasn't scared of these strange fleshy beings but I was definitely scared of being eaten. That's when the older fleshy beige person showed up, with his grey hair. I know they're humans now but it was new to me back then. I also know more about outsider expressions, and his face looked up at my aghast at what he saw, though I couldn't recognize that back then.
"Are you stupid son!? That's a kid! Get them down from there!"
"What? A kid? But that's clearly a fox!"
The older one slapped the younger one on the back of the head.
"Ow pa, what was that for!?"
"You never heard of the fox folk before?"
"Oh yeah, those Kitsune things, right?"
"Exactly. Now get that kid down! It's terrified!"
I wasn't good at interpreting context yet, so I still thought they were going to eat me.
"Mommy! Daddy! Please, they're going to eat me! I don't want to be eaten!"
"Calm down kid, we're not gonna-"
I'm sure he was about to say he wasn't going to eat me, but at that point an arrow buried itself right next to the face of the younger human. He turned deathly pale and broke out into a run. The older one tries to call off the attack by splaying his hands.
"H-Hey, wait, we're just-!"
As he says that, an arrow plants itself in his shoulder.
"Fuck! Fine, we'll leave him with you then!"
He cries that out, and then sprints after his son. At that moment, father comes dashing out the trees underneath me, his hunting bow brandished as he sweeps the area for further outsiders. I wonder now if he would've been eager to hunt them down if he hadn't needed to rescue me, but back then I was just so happy to see him. I started crying even harder, reaching my arms through the ropes toward him. Stowing his bow, he grinned up at me.
"Hey, hey! It's alright now buddy, I'm here! You'll be okay!"
Him saying that did make me feel a lot better, but I couldn't help myself but cry harder. I didn't stop until he'd lowered the trap to the ground, dug me out, and held me close to my chest. I didn't quiet my sobbing until he tenderly patted me on the back of the head while whispering, "there, there… it's okay now… can't believe you made it this far you little scoundrel…" The tears running from my eyes didn't cease until mother emerged from the trees with the rest of the hunting party, worry in her eyes until she saw me and sprinted over to hug me and her husband close. She held Rin in her arms, so I got trapped with her between our parents. Even back then, she knew my weakness and managed to calm me with an unconscious scratch behind my ears. I hugged my little sister for this act and promised myself never to be jealous of her again, not when she was so warm and gentle even as a baby…
My mother held us both on the way back, refusing to let us go. I'd been expecting to be scolded for what I did but my parents were more self-critical than anything. I could see the self-hatred my father was feeling in his eyes from the brief glances he gave me, and I could hear him whispering under his breath about what could've happened to me all because he'd been stupid enough not to lock the window. Mother did try to scold me a bit, "How could you run off like that!? It could've been so much worse!" but it didn't work at all because it was clear from every word she said the guilt she felt for leaving me alone so much recently. She also couldn't stop rubbing her muzzle against the top of my head, as if to confirm I was still there.
Still, their guilt became my guilt… and I cried a few times on the way home, feeling just awful for how I'd hurt their feelings. Every time, my dad would come over and pat me on the head, reassuring me that there was nothing to feel bad about when it came to being curious and how impressed he was that I'd been able to last so long on my own without getting into trouble. I knew that was more luck than anything else, but I didn't dissuade him of the notion that it had more to do with skill. After all… even with the scary stuff, it was back then that my passion for nature truly started. For those few hours of wandering, I hadn't felt nearly as alone anymore. I'd felt… connected. I'd met my friends.
But that's not the important part of the memory, not the one that jumps to mind as I look at Rin in the present day. The important part of the memory is what happened after we got home. What happened after my brother spent an hour prattling me about the things I'd seen, and I spent an hour answering every question he had with more enthusiasm than I usually bring to bear about anything either then or now. What happened after Haya made that promise which never quite panned out and that I'm now glad never did, that we'd become hunters together one day when I grew up. The important part came after Rin and Haya had been put to bed. The important part is when my parents found that rare moment where it was just as three together, in my parents laps as they sandwiched me between them on the cloth-covered stack of hay we considered a couch.
"Isn't it bedtime though mommy and daddy?" I wondered. I was confused, if happy to have the time and affection of my parents. It was quite late, and even though Haya was older he'd been put down before I had. It was just us in our living room, lit softly by the glowing orange oil lamp on the table in front of us and the mild white moonlight leaking through the now firmly shut – and locked – window grate.
Responding to my question, my dad patted me on my head with a smile.
"You're right furball, usually it would be bedtime. But considering what happened today, and how smart of a kid you are… mommy and daddy thought it was time for a special little storytime. And we'd do it in your room, but we wouldn't want you to fall asleep while listening."
"But daddy, you know I never fall asleep when you tell me stories! I wanna hear how it ends!" I protested, laughing a little.
"You're right about that you little rascal. If I kept telling you stories, you'd never get to sleep!" Mother said, tickling me a bit on the sides to my joy. I ran into father's arms to avoid her attack, and he flipped me around and sat me down on his knee as mother patted me on the head instead of continuing her assault. Mother, smiling, continued. "I've never really regretted telling them to you though. You're so well behaved, my perfect little baby you…" She scratched me under the neck at that point, to my great pleasure. I relaxed back into father's arms.
"Hey furball, don't fall asleep now." He said. "We've still gotta tell you the story."
"Don't worry daddy, I'm awake!" We both chuckled.
"Okay boys, that's enough playing around." Mother said, pulling father against her side again and nuzzling his neck. "We're not really setting the proper tone for this are we?"
"Sorry, sorry… you're right." Father took a deep breath. "Ashan… this isn't a happy or fun story, I'm sorry to say."
"Then what's the point…?" I turned my eyes up toward father. I knew that him calling me by my name made it serious, so my question was very genuine. My toddler brain couldn't process the idea of a story with a deeper meaning just yet. It hadn't been exposed to such concepts before.
"It's to help you learn baby." Mother smiled warmly at me. "There are so many bad things in the world, and if you aren't mindful of them… then they might hurt you."
"Mind-ful…?"
"Being mindful of something means you think about it in your adorable little head even when it might not seem important. It's like how you need to be careful to not touch the fire on the stove, because you know it's hot."
"Okay. And what do I need to be mind-ful of mommy? What bad things? Do you mean those pale talking ani-mahls I found?"
"Yeah, that's exactly right baby. You know those ropes that pulled you up into the tree? They're the ones who set them there."
"I don't think it was for me though mommy. They were trying to catch food. Don't the hunters build things like that?"
"They do indeed furball, but what makes you so sure that trap wasn't for you?" Father asked.
Looking up at him, I responded, "The big one with the furry chin told him to let me down. Though I think he was trying to eat me… Maybe you're right, maybe it was for me…"
"Could be, or could be they didn't care what they caught, huh furball?"
"Well, I don't think the big man was all bad… He saw I was scared, maybe he was just trying to help?"
"That would be nice furball… but probably not. That you would think he might is exactly why we wanted to talk to you. Tell me, do you still want to go play in the jungle at all?"
"Yes. Before I was about to be eaten, I was having so much fun!"
"Well, I'm not going to say no, but it's really dangerous so you need to learn how to stay safe and maybe get a little bigger first."
"Okay…"
"Do you know one of the ways I'm going to tell you to be safe?"
"Look out for traps?"
Father chuckled and rubbed my head.
"That's right, but more importantly you should stay away from the people who put down the traps. Well, except for our hunters of course."
"Why?" I wondered. "Maybe we could be friends, so you don't have to shoot them with arrows!"
"I'm sorry honey, that's not possible." Mother interjected. "Unfortunately, we and outsiders don't see eye to eye. You see baby… well, do you know what the word prejudice means?"
"Oh, I know! Prej-uh-deez was something Missus Bigsby said in class. She said prejudice means to be realllllly mad at someone, just because of something that doesn't really matter. She said it was like being mad at Haya because he's taller than me."
"Well, that's not exactly right baby, but you get the gist. Did Missus Bigsby ever talk about why we live here in the jungle, and why there's only other Kitsune like us?"
"Um… not really, mommy."
"Well it's because really, really long ago…"
"Like thousands of years!?" I asked excitedly. She chucked and patted me on the head.
"More like a few hundred." Mother said, I still beamed. I loved learning. "Anyway, a really long time ago Kitsune like us lived with all sorts of people like those pale talking animals. Those particular folks are a type of animal called humans, like we're a type of animal called Kitsune."
"But we're not animals mommy, we're people."
"Furball, people are just animals who can think." My father said.
"Oh, I get it!"
"Anyway, it doesn't matter." Mother said. "If you see any person who isn't a Kitsune, you should run away."
"But why?"
"Don't worry furball, she's getting to that. You just gotta be patient." Father smiled down at me, and I nodded.
"It's because they're outsiders baby. And outsiders like that are the reason we don't live together with everyone else anymore. Can you guess why?"
"Is it because of predge-uh-deece mommy?" I asked. "Were they mad at us because we were Kitsune and they weren't?"
"You're so smart baby, that's exactly right."
"But they weren't all mean, right?"
"Sure. But they didn't stop what the mean people did to us, and that's just as bad."
"What did the mean people do?"
"Well, all those hundreds of years ago, your great-great-great – and a few more greats – grandma Shadya was arrested by the mean people. By that I mean they put her in… well, you wouldn't know what jail is, but basically they put her in timeout. You know, sort of like I have to do to your brother sometimes."
"But she didn't do anything wrong, right?"
"That's exactly right furball." Father patted me on the head in congratulations. "And it was worse than timeout too, great-grandma Shadya wasn't sent to her room… instead they put her in a really dirty room underground with no sun, and they left her there for months. They barely fed her, and when they did it was only scraps and a little bit of water. They didn't even give her a different place to go to the bathroom, which only made the dirty room even dirtier."
My face fell on hearing this. I got frightened a bit, I turned around and hugged my father around the stomach. He gently rubbed my head while looking down at me.
"That's hor-uh-ble! Why would anyone do something like that to anyone just because they're mad? That's so much more than just being mean!"
"You're right Ashan, it absolutely is much more than being mean. It takes monsters to do things like that to someone."
"Yeah…"
"Do you understand why we want you to stay away from the outsiders now? Do you understand why we want to make sure they can't get you, and maybe put you in a place like great-grandma Shadya?"
"Yeah daddy, the outsiders sound real scary! Sowwy, I know I should be brave…"
"They are scary furball, you don't have any reason to be ashamed for being afraid. I'm glad you are, it'll make sure you keep your distance and that'll keep you safe. That's what fear is for."
"Daddy… did great-grandma Shadya ever get out? How?"
Mother reached over to place her hand against the back of my head.
"We'll tell you all about her and the rest of our family eventually. I think that's enough storytime for tonight. Except for maybe a happy story so you don't have any nightmares."
"That's okay mommy." I said, looking at her. "Daddy said fear is a good thing, because it keeps me safe. So maybe having a nightmare ever now and again is a good thing, so I don't forget to be afraid for real too. And so I don't get so afraid I can't do anything."
"That's really wise of you furball…" Father looked down at me with a half-smile. He seemed to have one part pride, and one part a bit of fear of his own. I guess he was afraid of the level of insight his three year old boy had. I'd learned since that it certainly wasn't normal for a kid as young as I was to talk like that, so I can't blame him anymore now when I get why he was upset then back then when I couldn't even see that he was. Either way, I felt an urge to go and see my little sister… with my protective instincts kicked in from earlier and now this dark tale, I couldn't proceed with sleep without looking in on her.
"Before I go to bed, can I go see Rin mommy?" I asked, looking over to her longingly. Mother smiled and gathered me up in her arms, nodding to father before taking me to my parent's room.
"Of course you can baby." She said, and she met the promise of those words. I was a bit of a runt even back then, so I could fit in her crib. Mommy put me down next to her. She was sleeping of course, soundly. I didn't want to bother her, so I just put my hand on her forehead.
"I'm sorry for being so mad at you Rin, just because I was prej-prejudiced of you for taking time with mommy and daddy away from me." I whispered. "I love you. I swear I'll keep you safe from all the bad things." With that, I nuzzled her forehead with my snout, then looked back up at mother. She looked on the edge of tears of pride as she hugged me close in her arms.
"Oh baby, you're such a sweet child… that was such a nice thing to say to your little sister, I'm so happy you understand… I'm so sorry you've felt lonely recently."
"It's okay mommy." I hugged her back, as much as my tiny arms would allow at least. "Rin was more important. I under-understand now. And you don't need to make me feel good for what I said either mommy. I don't understand how to say it, but… it's the right thing, so I…"
She shook her head, patting me on the back.
"I know. I love you baby."
"I love you too mommy. I'll go to bed now."
"Do you want to sleep in here tonight honey?" Mother asked, holding me at arm's length to look into my eyes with a giant toothy smile. It was so toothy in fact that an observer probably would've thought her sharp teeth we're going to devour me.
Anyway, I absolutely did want to sleep with my parents of course. But…
"Mommy, if I sleep in here and have a nightmare, I might pee on your bed… I don't want to do that to you."
Mother hugged me again, and whispered into my ear.
"It's not for you, you kind little soul. Mommy just needs her cute little son tonight, okay? So if you pee the bed, you can just blame me this time."
"Okay mommy." I hugged her back again, and luckily… I slept like the baby I basically still was.
As I said, a happy memory. In the present however, thinking on it now… it has dark undertones.
"They were just manipulating me… It was all a lie…" I whisper. "It was all a lie…"
Suddenly, bam. A scent too strong to be ignored travels up my nose. I realize that time hadn't frozen, it was just me. Rin is in front of me, concern evident on her face as she holds the empty canister of smelling salts she'd stolen from my bag to my nose. I guess petting me hadn't been enough this time. I cough as she draws it away and I refocus my eyes on her. She doesn't seem to know what to say any more than I do, so after she puts down the smelling salts, our mouths both end up ajar as we stared at each other… both end up at a loss for what to say. Still, she gets over it fast.
"Big brother… what was all a lie?"
She'd heard me, and I don't want to tell her the truth. It's exactly that I fear. I'm supposed to keep her safe from the bad things, just like I said… like I'd promised. Part of keeping her safe is to stop her from becoming one of the bad things herself. As mother had told me but failed to live up to, if you stand by while other people do bad things… you're no better. But how do I protect Rin from evil when it comes from within? From our own brother, our own parents? I don't need to wonder at the answer to that question, it's obvious. She has to know the truth, before she grows up and her mind becomes inflexible to the lessons she's been taught.
"R-Rin…" I stammer, I so don't want to tell her. She loves our parents, she loves our brother… just as much as I do, or did… I'm still figuring out where I stand on that. Either way, I don't want to take that away from her. It feels almost like I'm breaking my promise… almost like I'm failing to protect her. But I suppose I failed to protect her when I didn't see what my parents were. I suppose I failed to protect her by allowing her to be born. I sob as I realize the depth of that failure, tears pouring from my eyes as I continue to stammer her name.
"Ashan… it's okay big brother… you don't have to rush it, or even tell me at all…" She squeezes my shoulders, gives me a hug that I eagerly return. I finally manage to steady enough to speak something coherent.
"If I tell you, if I answer, it's going to hurt you… but if I don't tell you, it's just going to hurt later. Or maybe even worse, it won't hurt at all… and you won't be the same."
"So it's a bit like a poultice then big brother." She says calmly, running her hand along my back. "You can either do it fast or slow, and I definitely think fast is better…"
"I know… I know…"
"It has something to do with big brother Haya, doesn't it…?"
Doubtless she'd seen the arrow. I also recognize that I have a bandage on my hand where the splinters are. She hadn't removed them, but it was the best she could manage to simply wrap up the bleeding wound. I must've really been lost in thought there for a second. I hadn't felt the pain at all. I use it to help me focus on the moment.
"It… it does."
"I don't think big brother Haya would ever hurt me…"
She's right, in a way. He would never let her come to any physical harm, or at least I hope not. Emotional though… harm to her soul? Something gives me the feeling he would inflict brutal damage without hesitation, give the right reason. Seemingly, it's who he is. But unfortunately, the one who has to deliver his attack this time is me. It's the only way to stop her from losing the purity that made me love her so much.
"Rin, you followed me right?" I ask. It's the only explanation for how she found me, she must've seen me sprinting from town and gave chase out of concern. If she did, then…
"Y-Yes…" She trails off guiltily. I shake my head.
"It's okay, I was just wondering if you… if you saw…"
"Do you mean whatever was making that really bad smell? I saw you go toward it, but I waited for you to come back instead."
I hug her tighter.
"G-Good. That's good. I'm glad you didn't see it, but… just know, it was really, really bad. That smell, it's what dead things smell like. And there were a lot of dead things."
"Like, animals?"
"No, Rin… it was people."
"Like, Kitsune?"
"No, it was outsiders…"
"But aren't outsiders bad? Isn't it good they can't hurt us?"
"Rin, I… I don't think they were bad."
"Big brother, how did they die…?"
"Rin, it was…" I gulp. I don't want to tell her. "Damn it…"
"It was big brother Haya? Is that why that arrow has blood on it?"
I nod into her shoulder.
"M-Maybe they attacked him? Maybe he had no choice? Or, it was an accident, something confusing?"
I couldn't tell if the attack had started over confusion of course, but the brutality of the massacre made it clear that it was more than just that even if it had been the cause. Besides… I believe in my brother's skills and judgment. If he did this, it wouldn't be over something like that. So I tell my sister the honest truth, instead of the convenient one.
"No Rin… No, I don't think it was. He didn't just kill them, he… he treated them like all the bad outsiders from the stories treated our ancestors."
Tears start to run from her eyes.
"So, that was what you meant… by it was all a lie…"
"Yeah… I'm… I'm so sorry."
"But big brother, you didn't do anything wrong. Why are you sorry? Big brother Haya should be sorry… All of the adults should be sorry!"
"I know, you're right, but… I know how much you love them all. I didn't want to… I didn't want to take that away…"
Rin hugs me tighter. She's crying, loudly sobbing now even.
"I can't believe mommy and daddy and big brother Haya are so bad, that they could do something so wrong… but… I have you, so it's okay… You would never do something like that, right? You would never hurt people like that? You would never lie to me about something so bad?"
"Never. I never would. When you were a baby, I swore I'd protect you from all the bad things. And I still want to keep that promise."
"Thank you…" She said. "Thank you…"
"You're welcome Rin… You're welcome…"
We stayed hugging like that for a long time. Eventually, Rin had to stop crying and pull away, but she looked completely lost.
"What do we do…?" She wondered. "Are we… going to run away?"
I hadn't gotten around to thinking of how I was going to respond to this yet. But I know at least that running away isn't an option, so I shake my head immediately in response.
"Maybe that is the right thing to do, but you know they kept a few of the outsiders as prisoners. They have a girl with them, she's your age… And they're nice people, they're not at all like the outsiders in the stories. We can't leave them, or…"
"We'd be just as bad. I know. Mommy was telling the truth about that at least."
"Y-Yeah…"
"But what are we going to do then big brother? I'm just a little girl, and you're not much older than I am. You're so nice too, and you don't know how to fight. How are you going to get the outsiders away from the hunters?"
"I don't know. But… I want to believe in our people, in our parents and Haya. I want to believe that they're not all bad, that they can change and realize they were wrong, and make amends. Especially the people who didn't do this, but just believe what they've been told about the past without question. Surely they're not all bad, surely the ones that are aren't bad to the core… right?"
"Y-Yeah!" A bit of hope restored to her, she pumps her fists enthusiastically. "But big brother, how are you going to convince them? You're not so good at talking to people…"
"I don't know, but I have to try."
"I'll come with you."
"N-No. If I'm wrong, there's a chance something bad will happen. It should only happen to one of us, and I'm the one who made a promise to protect you."
"B-But… big brother…"
"Mother, father… I don't think they'd hurt me. I'll just be punished, it's okay. And don't you want to believe too?"
"Yeah, I do… Okay. I'll just go home then, and I'll leave it all to you. And if you can't change their minds, we can work together to help the outsiders!"
"Thanks Rin. Follow me back, and don't go far alright?"
She nods, a look of determination like nothing I've ever seen cross her face. It's a new sight, but not an unwelcome one. I take her hand, and we head into the jungle… in the direction of a place we hope to still call home when the day is over.
