Levi limped his way over to the dead bodies. Even though his face was masked with indifference his eyes spoke volumes. Those close by noticed but gave him space.

Not even Jean could make light of the moment of weakness. He wasn't sure how to feel at the sight of Humanity's Strongest favoring a leg. The captain's long history showed a clean record of no injuries.

"Levi." Erwin approached. He didn't refer to him as captain, as he had during the entire mission. His voice was strained, as if for once he didn't know what to say.

"Save it for when we're home." Levi didn't have the usual bite in his voice.

The commander stared. He understood. Even so it hurt. He gently placed a hand on a small shoulder. So tiny compared to his hand.

"I'm still proud of you. They would be, too." Erwin walked away.

Levi grit his teeth. In a way he did bond with more people than just Erwin over the years. However he felt that he failed. He had chosen to stay by Erwin's side for too long.

He was so confident that his squad would take care of Eren. He counted on them being the best of the Survey Corps. Then one by one he came across their bodies.

His heart screamed and cried. And yet none of it could come out. Levi had buried his emotions so much that releasing them would be a near impossible task.

This was the closest he came to breaking.

He heard sniffling. Levi turned to see Jean. He glanced down at who he was crying for. Levi limped over, ripped off the Wings of Freedom off their uniform to place in Jean's hand. He blinked, surprised that it was the captain of all people comforting him.

"Remember their sacrifice and carry it on in your heart. Carry their dreams. Never forget." He spoke the wisdom that helped him move on.

Jean didn't reply. He gripped the patch in his hand tightly. He wasn't sure how but that was exactly what he needed to hear. Those within earshot cried silently, moved by what the captain said. A few even bent down and ripped patches of those they wanted a piece of.

Erwin ordered the signal to retreat. Levi limped his way over to his horse. She met him halfway, understanding of his injury. He reached up and tried to climb. His usual method was to sort of leap up then pull with his arms.

However with only use of one leg his ability to leap up didn't quite meet the requirements. Levi grit his teeth as he clung on awkwardly, not able to fully use his arms to pull all his weight with how exhausted he was.

Someone moved to his aid and gave the captain the extra boost. Levi swung his injured leg over and into the stirrup. Once secured the captain glanced down and blinked at the sight of Jean.

"...You've earned my respect, Jean." Levi decided to be generous. The young man blinked in surprise. That was all it took? An act of kindness?

"Let's see how long you keep it." The captain stated as he moved closer to the cart that had Eren.

"How is he?" He inquired.

"No changes, sir." Armin reported.

"Should he awaken, be sure to keep him from doing something stupid."

"Captain. About earlier..." Mikasa had watched him struggle to climb up his horse.

Guilt was in her eyes. She felt horrible now that she's seen the extent of his injury. He had carried off like it was nothing serious. And now with the best squad only having two survivors, it might seem the captain might be out of commission until his injury healed.

A devastating cost to the Survey Corps as a whole.

"Apology accepted. Make sure it doesn't happen again. When you wish to protect your most important person in your heart, you need to keep a clear head."

"Are you speaking from experience, captain?"

If she weren't someone who could match him, if he wasn't so exhausted, then he would have said something. As it were Levi sighed.

"I've learned to trust that Erwin has the sense to stay alive. I learned to trust in the Scouts that follow him directly to help him. Only very specific situations require my strength."

"But Eren is sought after and we don't know the enemy." Armin pointed out.

"Which is why my squad didn't survive. They were the best for me. Picked by me for me." His words earned flinches. "Their hearts were in the right place. But in the end they weren't enough."

"Will you pick your new members again?" Armin wondered.

Signal flares went off. They were about to make a run back home. Levi moved so he was in front of the cart. Hange, the driver, glanced at him briefly.

"What's your problem, goggles?" Levi snapped a little too harshly.

"That's a bit harsh to talk about your squad members. Their bodies have barely gone cold." Hange held their ground.

"It's the truth. Simple as that." Levi felt his hands tremble as he spoke.

Fortunately Hange didn't notice. They began to move. And because the sun was beginning to set Commander Erwin set a fast pace in order to return home before nightfall.

Flares went off. Titans were charging towards them with great speed. Levi dared not look back.

"Release the bodies!" Erwin ordered.

Everyone heard. And all of them dropped the bodies from the carts. Levi turned only to watch the sight of Petra's unravel from the cloth that wrapped around her. She seemed so peaceful. Her hair had a shine in the sunset.

And then she was gone.

Levi focused ahead with grit teeth. He felt his horse tiring so he urged her to stay in pace with the group. Despite the pain he used his leg as if it weren't injured.

Only when they breached the gates did Levi stop. The cheers were so foreign to him. Why were they cheering? Was it because there were no bodies that were brought back?

His horse snorted. She was exhausted as he was. So the captain climbed down to lead her for the long walk back home. Along the way Petra's father approached with a letter in his hand, going on about her with pride.

He didn't have the heart to tell him.

When they were outside that town Levi collapsed. His leg gave out and he couldn't limp anymore. His horse nudged his shoulder gently.

"Captain!" Hange screamed. From their angle they couldn't see if he was trampled or not. But they knew his horse wouldn't be that cruel.

The line stopped and everyone turned in surprise. Levi couldn't meet their eyes as he averted his gaze. He didn't have to look up to know Erwin approached. His white horse was the only pale one of the whole Survey Corps.

"Can you stand?" Erwin asked gently.

"No." He admitted with venom in his voice.

Levi knew he made a poor sight. His body shook violently. And for the first time felt as if he will vomit. It's been years since he felt like this. So long that it was almost foreign.

Erwin climbed off. He knelt so he was eye level. Levi stared into them. Not for the first time in his life he clung onto the sight of them giving him full undivided attention.

"It's not considered weak to ask for help." He stated calmly.

"This isn't about my pride that's stopping me, Erwin!" Levi snapped.

Those blue eyes softened.

"Will you allow me to help you, then?" Erwin asked softly.

"...Do whatever you want." The captain couldn't think clearly.

He was too overwhelmed. His body was exhausted and hurting. The loss and grief he felt was drowning. He felt like he was gasping desperately.

All too gently strong arms scooped him up. Levi didn't struggle or argue as he was being carried to the white horse. His own followed them anxiously.

Erwin placed Levi on sideways. Had he been in the right state of mind he would have commented on this position. Words died in his throat as he resisted the urge to vomit.

Erwin climbed up. Gently he moved Levi so he was partially on the commander's lap. Despite himself the captain leaned against the taller man.

This was the most vulnerable Levi allowed to show in front of everyone. And he hated it. Even so he welcomed the support Erwin was showing him without a second thought.

"Go ahead and rest. You've earned it." Erwin encouraged as he held Levi close with one arm and the other had the reins.

They moved back to the front of the line and continued the easy pace back home. The riderless mare followed closely. Occasionally she was beside them to eye both horse and rider to make sure her own rider was fine.

Levi couldn't rest. His body trembled against the commander. He focused on watching the landscape as they made their way home. Along the way they passed a few villages, and everyone saw the state he was in.

Commander Erwin paid them no mind. So Levi followed his lead. Although he couldn't help but wonder what sort of rumors will spread now.

Before he knew it they reached the castle just as the last rays of the sun was disappearing. Erwin glanced down to see Levi still awake.

"Think you can walk?" He asked.

"I'll look like a newborn foal if I try." Levi knew it.

His legs felt like noodles. The pain was throbbing on the injured one. He really hadn't been gentle for the ride home.

"Mike." Erwin called out to him. His second in command urged his horse beside them.

"Yes, commander." Mike for his part remained professional despite the odd sight the pair made.

"Make preparations for the funeral. Use some dead wood collected from trimming the trees." Erwin instructed.

"It will be done. Anything else, sir?" Mike watched as Erwin made for the stalls.

"Yes. When dinner is done, bring it up to my office."

"Am I to bring two meals?" The scout leader wondered.

The idea of food made Levi want to vomit again. He tensed as he tried his best not to lean over and heave. The commander felt the change with the captain.

"You know he doesn't eat after a particularly hard mission." Erwin reminded.

"Tea it is then." Mike silently berated himself.

Upon reaching the barns Erwin swung down. Gently he brought Levi down into his arms before placing him on some barrels to sit while he took care of both horses.

They stood side by side out of the way of stall doors. Even without being tied they knew to stay still. Erwin soon had both saddles off and was going back and forth between them to brush.

"I can brush her." Levi hated not doing something. Plus it was his horse.

"Even with you sitting you won't reach everywhere." Erwin pointed out, ignoring the heated glare.

"I know how you take care of her. I'll do the same." The commander promised.

So Levi sat and watched. He made sure that Erwin did. Although he felt a bit silly, because Erwin had always shown the same care towards his own. Around them the Scouts were doing the same silently.

"Commander?" Eren approached, having woken up. His two friends were still taking care of their own mounts. His had gone missing and hadn't turned up to join the rest.

"You wish to help?" Erwin knew what he was asking.

The young man nodded. Erwin handed him a brush, but continued focusing on Levi's horse. So Eren worked on the commander's. They worked with care.

Erwin even felt over each leg and checked the hooves of the mare. It didn't matter on the age of the horse, sometimes injuries occur from missions outside the walls.

"She's good." Erwin announced before leading her to her respective stall and feeding her a bale of hay.

Eren just finished brushing, so Erwin showed him how to feel and check over the legs and hooves. He allowed Eren to check one front and one back leg.

"I think he's good." Eren felt confident.

Erwin had watched carefully and accepted the boy's observation. He lead the pale horse to his stall. Eren already grabbed a bale and tossed it over.

"Thank you, Eren." Erwin was moved by the kindness. He made his way back to the captain, who anxiously wished to be out of prying eyes.

"Does...does it get any easier?" Eren asked them both as Erwin scooped up Levi in his arms again.

They both stared at the question.

"You want the truth? Or lame sugar coat lie?" Levi wasn't sure which the titan shifter needed to hear.

"The truth." Eren bravely chose.

"No. It never gets easier. Anyone can die. Old and familiar faces fade away and replaced by strangers. Young and hopeful. Until they venture outside the wall for the first time. Then the cycle repeats itself."

Everyone in the stalls heard them. Most of them were the new recruits. Some turned to stare with saddened eyes. Others had horror at the reality of their situation.

And suddenly everyone understood the captain at a certain point. The way he didn't allow himself to immediately get close. Didn't open up and instead became something to focus on to hate. He carried a heavy burden as Humanity's Strongest.

He closed his heart so he wouldn't crumble.

"...Thank you. For being honest, captain." Eren surprised them again.

Levi didn't reply. Erwin silently carried him away into the castle. When the funeral pyre was done, Levi didn't join. Erwin said the farewells and the pyre was lit. Although no bodies were to be burned this time it was a tradition he still carried.

"What will happen with the Levi Squad?" Mike asked what many dared not to yet.

"He needs time to heal. While he's healing, he will decide who to pick to form a new squad. Until then our exertions outside will have to wait." Erwin answered honestly.

"...Will he heal this time?" Mike knew that with each personal loss Levi endured it chipped him away.

To witness him collapse and unable to get up was something Mike never wanted to see. Levi was seen on a high pedestal with his strength. If he had the ambition he would aim for second in command.

The idea of someone like Levi as commander made Mike shiver. The ruthlessness and cruelty would be immeasurable. And yet he would inspire thousands similar enough to Erwin.

But Levi didn't have the patience or the want. He knew his way with words wouldn't win people over. He knew where he stood and stayed where he knew it was for the best.

But to see him crumble was frightening.

"He has to. Therefore he will."

"Erwin, you know what I meant." Mike pressured.

Erwin studied their surroundings. He noted Hange, Eren and his friends were listening in. Even the boy Jean was listening. They pretended not to as they watched the flame.

"He understands what is necessary. Besides, it isn't within his nature to give up. He won't give up even as he stares death in the eye." Erwin knew it.

The recruits saw the commander in a new light.