"One last present for you, Remus," said Hope Lupin, handing her son a little blue box from under the Christmas tree. Attached to its bow was a tag that read Llywelyn's, a local wizarding shop; Remus glanced up at his mother with surprise.
Hope smiled, her cheeks going a little red. "I don't know much about gifts from the wizarding world," she confessed. "But I thought you would like this."
Remus opened the box to find a little black sphere inside of it. He pulled it out, and it slipped up through his fingers to hover about a foot off the ground. The lights throughout the house seemed to dim, and the sphere lit up, projecting a starry night sky onto the ceiling and the walls around them.
"Whoa," Remus breathed, gawking upwards. Every time his eyes fixed on a particular group of stars, lines spun out like a spider's web to connect them into constellations. Remus gave the sphere a spin, watching the stars rotate as well until a whole new sky of them was displayed, stars seen on the other side of the world. And nowhere in the sky was there a moon to eclipse the starlight; Remus wondered if his mother had checked before buying it.
"I love it, Mum," he said truthfully. "Thank you."
"That might even help you study for Astronomy," said his father Lyall. Remus smiled, placing the orb back in its box; it flickered off, and the surrounding light grew brighter again.
"I'm surprised wizards take classes in astronomy," his mother murmured. "Muggles have astronomy, too, but I'm sure it's different."
"I love it," Remus said. "Our classes are held at midnight, and Professor Sinistra is great." He grinned. "My friend Sirius once got two weeks of detention from her, though, for 'accidentally' setting the star charts we were supposed to fill out for homework on fire."
"You talk about your friends a lot," Lyall observed; Remus noticed a furrow forming on his brow. Lyall and Hope exchanged what looked like a worried glance.
"Should I not?" Remus asked, confused. "I thought you wanted me to make friends at school."
"Of course we do, honey," his mother assured him quickly. "It's great that you've gotten along so well with your classmates. It's just…." She trailed off, looking to Lyall to finish her thought.
Lyall took a breath, hesitating. "Look, Re," he said. "Your mum and I…we just wanted to make sure you understand that you can't get too close to anyone, what with your condition and all." He paused. "As a family, we simply move away every time our neighbors grow suspicious, but, well, you won't be able to do that at Hogwarts. You understand?"
Remus nodded. The great joy he'd felt minutes before while unwrapping Christmas presents was all but gone now, replaced by the cold sting of reality. "I know what would happen if they figure out I'm a werewolf," he said. "Don't worry; I'm being careful. I've been getting dressed behind my bed curtains, and telling them that I'm visiting my sick mum on full moons."
Remus's parents looked at each other again. "That's good, honey," said his mother, "but not all we're worried about." She put a hand on Remus's shoulder and squeezed it. "When you get really close with someone, you know…you feel like you can trust them. You start telling each other secrets, maybe, things you don't want other people finding out about."
"Oh." Now Remus understood. "You think I'm just going to tell them I'm a werewolf." He shook his head. "Of course not, Mum, don't worry. I know I can't."
Some of the tension left Hope's shoulders at that. "Good, Re. I know you'll be smart; you always are. Your dad and I just don't want you to get your hopes up."
"I'm not," Remus insisted. "My friends are great, but I know they'd want nothing to do with me if they knew what I was." His mother, upset by the tone of defeat in his voice, wrapped Remus up in a tender hug.
"I'm sorry it has to be like this," she murmured in his ear. "You deserve to have people who love you just the way you are."
"Well, that's what you and Dad are for," said Remus with a sad smile, wiggling out of the hug. Hope wiped a tear from her cheek, leaning back into Lyall's comforting arms.
Remus took a bite of one of his new chocolate bars, but the taste turned sour in his mouth. He'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he'd thought about what would happen if his roommates knew about his lycanthropy, that he'd wondered if them finding out would really be so bad. Sirius had grown up in a house filled with prejudice, after all, and he didn't seem to mind that his best friends were now a half-blood, a blood traitor, and a son of two Muggle-borns.
But that was different, he knew. Muggle-borns and blood traitors weren't dangerous, but werewolves certainly were—they were monsters. It wasn't just prejudice that made wizards hate werewolves, it was fear. Fear they had very good reason for.
But how can they really be my friends, Remus wondered, if they don't even know me? They were friends with a fake Remus, one who didn't turn into a murderous beast once a month. The real Remus they would hate, and run away from as fast as they could. It was not a pleasant thing to think about.
But Remus was a werewolf, only disguised as something else. And so he knew, with a sinking feeling in his chest, that the half-real friendship he had right now with James and Sirius and Peter was the best he was ever going to get.
Chapter Management