Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
Challenges listed at the bottom.
Word Count: 337
Warning: Mild sexual content/Hate Sex
hate doesn't hurt like love does
You don't mean to seek him out, and you know that he isn't intending to end the night with you either. Not because he's sensitive to your wants, but because he hates you as much as you hate him.
But when James tells you you'll never get Remus to look at you twice until you stop your messing around, something inside you snaps, because you've been trying, haven't you?
You've been on your best behaviour, but Remus is still oblivious, and being around him hurts, but not being around him hurts more, so you do your best to deal with the pain, and then you slip away to find someone who can't hurt you.
Why it's always him, you don't know.
You wish it wasn't sometimes, because it's been happening more frequently, and you don't want to stop hating him. You don't want him to stop hating you.
Hate doesn't hurt like love does.
You find yourself in the fire escape with Lucius, and his hands are rough, and his lips demanding, and you can't help but give in; you don't really want to stop.
He hates you, and you hate him, and it's something. It's something that isn't numbness, and that's better than nothing.
It's better than the way love hurts.
Neither of you undress, and you don't whisper words of love, or passion, or anything at all beyond now, or more, or harder.
The feeling, the pleasure, only lasts as long as it takes to zip your jeans up, and straighten your jacket, but for a few minutes there, you had mindless pleasure.
For a few minutes, you were saved from thoughts of Remus, and his utter perfection, and your utter lack of it.
He glares at you before he leaves and tells you it has to have been the last time. He's said that before and so have you.
Until Remus can look at you and really see you, you know it won't be.
You're not as angry about that as you should be.
Written For:
Valentines or Palentines: Day 9: SiriusLucius
365: 206. Sensitive
Musical Yearly: 351. Ska: Rudy, A Message To You: Stop your messing around
Insane House: 903. Hate sex
