It was nearly midnight when Remus was finally cleared to leave the hospital wing, three days after the full moon. Madam Pomfrey had to escort him up to Gryffindor Tower so he wouldn't get in trouble for being out of bed after hours. "Remember to take it easy for the rest of the week," she reminded him when they reached the Fat Lady's portrait. "Nothing too strenuous."
"Don't worry, I know," Remus assured her. He knew he'd spend the next few days feeling too weak and drained to even consider doing anything that would be called strenuous.
He made his way up the stairs to the top-level dormitory, wishing as he always did around full moons that he and his roommates hadn't been so insistent on keeping the highest room. Breathing heavily, he pulled open the door to find all the room's lanterns lit and James, Peter and Sirius sitting up on their beds, watching silently as he stepped inside.
His roommates being up at this hour was nothing too unusual—the four of them would often stay up to plan their next adventure or play Exploding Snap late into the night (or at least until a prefect came up to make them quiet down). What was unusual, however, was the fact that all their eyes were fixed on Remus, as intently as if they were studying him. He felt his cheeks going pink under their gazes.
"What is it?" he asked cautiously, closing the door behind him. "Did something happen?"
"Nothing happened, mate," said James slowly. Confused, Remus went over to his bed and began to unpack his bag.
"Sorry I was gone for so long," he said after a good thirty seconds of silence. "My dad was working, so I had to take my mum to her doctor appointment today."
The other three boys looked at each other. "Er…Remus?" Sirius said. "We know you didn't go home to visit your mum."
Remus's blood froze in his veins. "What? Of course I did." No no no no no.
"No, you didn't," Sirius pressed. "You went into some tunnel under the Whomping Willow for a night, because it was the full moon and you're a werewolf."
Remus couldn't have heard that correctly. They were words he'd feared one of his roommates would utter ever since he met them, but in his thoughts and nightmares they'd always been accompanied by frightened screaming. You're a werewolf.
He didn't know what to do, what he was supposed to say. This was the moment that everyone—his parents, Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey—had warned him about his entire life. Remus saw the life he'd been living for the past year and a half, learning spells and laughing with his friends and pretending to be normal, vanish before his eyes. He'd been so careful to hide his scars and cover up his disappearances…where had he gone wrong?
"How did you find out?" Remus choked out.
"Well, you've been disappearing a lot, Re, and we were all kind of worried about you," James explained. "So this last time you told us you were going home, we—well, we followed you under my cloak," he said apologetically. "And we saw Madam Pomfrey taking you to the Whomping Willow. And then Sirius figured out that you're always disappearing the night of the full moon." There was something wrong about his tone; James didn't sound angry or afraid, almost like he…. No, Remus told himself, that's stupid. Wishful thinking.
"Look, you guys," he said, "I am so, so sorry." He stood up shakily to leave. "Coming here was a bad idea—I always thought it was. I'll go talk to Dumbledore right now; can you please just not say anything to anyone else until I get back?"
All three of his roommates looked at him like he was crazy. "Where d'you think you're going, mate?" Sirius said. "Sit your arse back down." Remus did, not knowing what was going on. Did they want to yell at him a bit first, for deceiving them into thinking he was just some normal wizard boy?
"Remus, we don't want you to leave," Peter said softly. "I've always been afraid of werewolves, and pretty much everything else…but I'm not afraid of you."
"I don't think it's possible to be afraid of you, Re," James said with a laugh. "I mean, sure, we were all a bit freaked out when we first realized it, but I figure if you haven't attacked any of us by now, we're probably safe."
Remus blinked. "Of course I haven't attacked any of you! But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be afraid! I've got this…this condition…."
"So what?" Sirius demanded. "It's not like you chose it. I'm an inbred pure-blood from an insufferable family of Slytherins, but none of you rejected me when you figured that out. My family are the ones who hate people for things they can't control; and as I'm sure you know by now, I do everything I can to be the exact opposite of them."
Remus shook his head. Did they not understand? "This isn't like the difference between pure-bloods and Muggle-borns. Werewolves are Dark creatures who kill people, and lycanthropy is contagious. I put you all in danger by being here, and you're not even mad about that? If I'm not careful, everyone at this school could end up like me."
"Well, good thing you're the most careful person we know," James said. "Too careful, if you ask me."
"Honestly, Re," said Sirius, "it's like you want us to be pissed with you. We're not; we understand why you kept it a secret. And now that we know, we're trying to tell you that we're all right with it. We won't tell anyone else, and we definitely still want to be mates with you."
"Yeah," James added. "Having a werewolf for a friend is pretty wicked, actually."
Remus just gaped at his roommates for a long, silent minute, his frazzled brain slowly processing everything they had said. He felt tears gathering in his eyes, and put his head in his hands as they began to rush out. This had to be a dream; there was no way this was real.
"Remus, are you crying?" Peter asked. It only made him cry harder, his whole body shaking. He felt like he had when he was a little boy, a lonely little boy who'd always fantasized about having friends he could share his secret with, friends his parents had convinced him would never exist.
"Hey." A hand gripped Remus's shoulder; he looked through his fingers to find Sirius perched on his bed beside him. James and Peter had come over, too, kneeling on his bedsheets. None of them looked the tiniest bit afraid, not even Peter.
"Do you…do you really mean it?" Remus whispered, almost too quietly for them to make out. "What you said?"
"'Course we meant it," said Sirius, squeezing Remus's shoulder. It sent a wave of pain down his weakened body, but Remus couldn't have cared less. "We're a team, the four of us. No matter what."
Remus let out another, louder sob, and his roommates drew in close around him and pulled him into a tight hug. Remus hugged them back, crying against their chests and feeling like he'd somehow found the three best friends in the entire world.
