29

Jack was in the bed with Shay clutched tightly to his chest, Hawk sitting beside them with matching wide eyes. Finally Hawk's eyes swivelled to focus on his father "Damn boi… you be in da shite now!"

Jack turned his head to stare back at the miniature Hoodlum who was REALLY far too accustomed to the mannerisms of those men before he answered "Did you just cuss?"

"Nope. I said Shite" Hawk smiled slowly and then before Jack could stop him Hawk screamed loudly "TADDA IS SHITE A CUSS WORD? IT MEANS SHIT BUT IT IS NOT THE SAME WORD AT ALL! RIGHT?"

Jack knew his jaw had loosened as he gaped at the little demon, those skinny little arms folded over the small belly with a look of pure satisfaction as the thumping of slippers coming up the stairs told Jack that their son had called down the fucking Kraken. Oh god.

What. The. Duck. Did. You. Just. Say?" Ianto snarled.

"Shite." Hawk repeated with a nod of his head for emphasis. "Dad told me to stop being so Hoodlum and I told him to bog off."

"I did bloody not!" Jack squeaked. "That was not what happened at all."

Ianto took a deep breath and gave Jack the 'Look' making him slam his mouth shut. He was just making it worse by continuing the argument. Right. He knew what Ianto wanted and so he said calmly "Hawk. Do not argue with me, I am your father."

"Noooooooo" Hawk dramatically slid from the bed with an arm outstretched, the other hand sliding into the PJ top so he was suddenly Luke Skywalker arguing the Darth Vader.

"Did you really just cast me as Darth Vader?" Jack asked with horror. "No. I am Han Solo all day long. Babe? Right? Babe?"

"Oh Forfucksake" Ianto said with a huff, turning to walk away like this was beyond his realm of ability to deal with right now.

"Taddy said Fuck"

"Yeah. I know" Jack flopped back.

"Fuck"

Ianto looked at the little one on his chest with a cheeky look on Hr face, then with emphasis that caused some spit to fly into his face Shay repeated "Fuck!"

"Oh god. He will blame me for that even if he did it" Jack groaned then he started singing a song hoping it would take over. Old McDonald's Farm is silly but the E-i-e-i-o usually reset the toddler but today for some reason, the midst of a maelstrom… the little shit took the word and ran with it.

"Fuck goes Quack."

Jack stated the song again, this time without a fucking duck in it. Come on kid, work with me.

"Let's watch a Muppet Movie" Jack said in the end, unable to deal with it much more either.

How many more days were they trapped here?