"You've got to put more force into it," James explained, demonstrating the wand movements for Lily. "Arc it around slowly, and then swish it into existence." A small blue parakeet materialized on the table between them, blinking around at James and Lily before spreading its wings and flitting away across the empty common room.
"All right," Lily said; "my turn." Clearing her throat, she mimicked James's arc and swish with her wand and muttered "Avelio" under her breath. Another parakeet, this one green like her eyes, appeared before her, quickly flying off to join James's conjured bird.
"Perfect." James grinned. "I told you I could teach it to you in less than twenty minutes, didn't I?"
"Surprisingly, you are not as horrible a tutor as I expected," Lily admitted. "When did you become so good at Transfiguration?"
"I've always been good at Transfiguration." He was an Animagus, after all. "We should study together more often."
"Maybe we should." James raised his eyebrows, surprised; Lily slumped forward onto her elbows and rubbed at her temples. "I used to study Transfiguration with Severus, mostly. And Remus, but even he's not dedicated enough to study the one year we don't have finals. And Severus and I…we haven't seen much of each other lately, if you hadn't noticed."
James had most certainly noticed—he kept close tabs on both Lily and Snivellus, and he hadn't seen the two of them together in months. "Why is that?" he wondered, barely resisting the urge to throw in a dig about Snape.
Lily sighed. "It's who his mates are, really. Mulciber and Avery—they're going around worshipping You-Know-Who, and I swear Mulciber's even got himself a Dark Mark. He threatened to Crucio Mary the other day, you know, because her parents are Squibs. Told her she shouldn't come back to Hogwarts next year or she'll be sorry. And Severus is friends with him. I just…." Her eyes met James's and she trailed off, seeming to realize who exactly she was talking to. "Not that you would care about any of it," she added quickly.
"I do care," James assured her. "I don't like those pricks any more than you do. Peter's Muggle-born too, you know. And Remus's mum was a Muggle."
"Yeah, I know." Lily pursed her lips. James leaned forward, just a little. "It's just…hard for me to understand what's happened to him. Why he'd associate with people like that."
"He's one of them, Lils," James said quietly. "I don't know if he's been Marked yet, but Sirius saw him at a big Death Eater party his family threw. He's following Voldemort, too."
James half-expected Lily to defend her former friend, but she only shook her head. "I'm not surprised," she admitted. "He'd never say anything to me, but I'm not surprised."
"Lily," James said as she stood to leave, stacking her books up forcefully before her. "Lily, don't—"
"There is something I'd like you to help me out with," she interrupted, turning around mid-step and narrowing her eyes at James. "Slughorn's having another end-of-term party this year, and I need to go with someone who can fend off Severus for me. Assuming you're not attending as Remus's date again, I think you would be the ideal choice."
James gaped at her. He rose to his feet. "Did you just ask me out, Lily Evans?"
"Not really," she said, though James could see a bit of a smile in her eyes. His heart leapt; he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Lily Evans, the girl he'd been mad for since third year, wanting to go to a dance with him? "But I suppose you wouldn't be the worst date I could choose. And who knows? Once we're rid of Severus, we might even be able to enjoy ourselves there."
James ran his hands through his hair. "Yeah, I reckon we could." He bit back his grin. "What…what day would this be?"
"June first," Lily said.
"June first…June first." The date sounded vaguely familiar to James; his stomach turned. "Hold on a second." He teased out the star chart Lily had pressed between two of her books and scanned his eyes over it. "Shit. Shit, Lily." As he'd suspected, the first of June also happened to be the night of the next full moon. He'd be needed in the Shrieking Shack with Remus, keeping his werewolf friend from tearing himself apart. "I can't make it that night."
Lily crossed her arms. "How come?"
"I…." James racked his brain for an excuse, any excuse, but his mind had gone blank in the presence of Lily's suspicious green glare. "Sirius was going to take me to Madam Puddifoot's that night," he finished lamely.
Lily rolled her eyes and threw back her head, exasperated. "Right."
She turned to leave again—her heart clenching, James leapt forward and grabbed her arm at stop her. "I want to go with you, Lily, I swear," he said. Desperation was leaking into his voice; shit, shit, shit. "But what I have that night…it's important."
"You're unbelievable, James," Lily said crossly. "You act like you care so much about me, and yet you'd rather spend your nights pulling off some stupid prank rather than go to a dance with me. For a moment, I thought you might've actually grown up a bit."
"It's not a prank, Lily."
"Then what is it? A tea date with Sirius?" James clamped shut his mouth; he really should not have said that. "I've had it with you and your friends and all your stupid little secrets. You might be some of the best wizards here, but really you all still behave like a bunch of first years. God, I don't know why I even asked you at all."
"Lily, it's not like that—Lily!" But Lily had wrenched her way out of James's grasp and was stalking towards the common room exit, refusing to turn back as his protests grew more and more distressed. James had been so, so close to a date with her, and the playful glimmer in her eyes when she'd asked him out was just as firmly etched into his brain as the hurt on her face when he'd refused her. How in Merlin's name had that even happened?
He spent another empty twenty minutes standing frozen in the center of the common room, his heart hollowed out and his eyes glued to the spot where Lily had vanished through the portrait hole as if they might find her there once again, as if the enormous mess he'd made could somehow be undone.
