Disclaimer: This story is mine, but the characters do not belong to me. I make no money from this, but I did have a ton of fun writing it.
A/N: This is part of a series of background stories I wrote to make sense of David's strange behavior towards the later part of Season 5. This story will make more sense if you've read the stories leading up to it. They are "Since I Lost My Maddie", "Counting on Christmas", "Lovin' on Empty", "Judge, Jury and Disillusioner" and "Friend Therapy".
Tuesday, March 28, 1989
By the end of it, David felt like this was probably the longest day of his life, not to mention one of the most difficult… one he wished he could go back and change if he could.
However, it started out simple enough.
David had been sound asleep in his hotel room when the phone started ringing at 7am sharp. He moaned and rolled over. He'd wanted to sleep in, he really did. But he knew that had to be Maddie calling, so he forced himself to sit up and answer the phone. She asked if he would meet her for breakfast on their last day in Paris. Naturally, he couldn't say no, so meet they did, an hour later at the Café de la Paix.
Maddie was in a great mood, and ordered what was, for her, a hearty breakfast: hot tea, freshly squeezed orange juice, low-fat yogurt with berries and a croissant. Not a fan of the French cuisine, David opted for the most American things he could find on the menu, which essentially turned out to be buttered toast and a small, or rather petite, mug of hot chocolate. He wanted to complain… it was on the tip of his tongue… but he knew better.
When she wasn't looking, David admired Maddie from across the table. She looked relaxed, radiant and very, very happy. She'd had a nice time there… they both did. But David had a sinking feeling that this heart-shaped vacation bubble they were in wouldn't last. How could it? If only four days in Paris could be the answer to all their problems.
Since they were a little crunched for time, David went to the counter to pay the bill, while Maddie finished sipping her tea. Then they stood outside in the misty rain where David hailed a taxi that would take them to the airport. Driving through the city, Maddie said she thought Paris looked romantic in the rain. David nodded his head, but really, the word that came to his mind was gloomy. He hated rainy days.
They got on the plane in Paris at 11:45am for a 12-hour non-stop flight to Los Angeles. The flight itself wasn't bad, just long. Lucky for them, Bert had negotiated for first class accommodations, which included plush, spacious seating on the plane. And since being in the City of Love had been good for them, relationship-wise, David felt comfortable enough in those spacious seats to stretch out and place his arm around Maddie, pulling her close. And since she was feeling equally good about their time spent in Paris, she too was comfortable enough to let him.
When they finally touched down, the local time was 3:05pm. After collecting their bags at the luggage terminal, they were met by the driver who would take them home. Maddie's house was the first stop. David got out and walked her to the door.
'Hey, can I call you tonight? Maybe tuck you into bed over the phone?' he teased, sweetly.
She did not respond as he had hoped she would.
'Please don't call,' was what she said. 'I'm really tired. All I wanna do is make a quick dinner, and then turn in early for the night.' He understood, but couldn't keep from feeling a little disappointed.
When David finally made it to his apartment, it was shortly after five o'clock. He threw his suitcase on the bed, opened it and tossed all his dirty laundry into the hamper. He walked back into his kitchen where he checked to see if he had something… anything… he could easily make for dinner.
'Bingo, this'll do… one can of Boyardee Beefaroni comin' up.'
David opened the can and started heating up its contents on the stove. He went back into his bedroom where he noticed the message light blinking on his answering machine. He pushed the button.
'Hi Dave, it's Angie. Listen, I have some bad news. Benny's been in a car accident. He'll be okay, but he was admitted to the hospital. If you think you wanna stop by tonight, visiting hours are from six to eight. Maybe I'll see you there?'
'That's just great,' David said, slumping down onto his bed. 'I can hardly keep my eyes open.'
David got to the hospital about an hour later. He went in to see Benny, who was quite groggy due to the pain meds the doctor put him on for the night. He told David his version of what happened… that he was driving around on his lunch break… a little old lady stepped off the curb in front of him… he had to swerve to miss hitting her… next thing he knew… he had a tree branch crash through his front window. He was fortunate. He wasn't going very fast at the time of the accident, so his injuries were superficial. The doctor just wanted to keep him overnight to be sure there was no internal bleeding.
Feeling confident that his friend would be fine, David didn't feel the need to stay long, so he walked out into the hallway. Angie was sitting there waiting for him, holding two cups of coffee.
'Here, I got you one,' she handed David a cup.
'Thanks,' David said, as he took a seat next to her.
David liked Angie a lot. She was the good girl who came from the wrong side of the tracks. She was smart, and it was entirely possible she might have used Benny to improve her lot in life, but at some point, she truly fell for the guy. She had a pretty face framed by her long, dark brown hair. She was thin, and had a nice figure. David thought she was probably a few inches shorter than Maddie. And she was young… only about 24, and a brand new mom. But while most 24-year-olds were out there in the world somewhere studying or partying or working, Angie was sitting here in the hospital feeling the weight of the world on her back.
There was a strange, uncomfortable quiet between the two of them, like something needed to be said, but neither wanted to go there. So, they sat for a minute, both of them staring at the framed art prints on the wall, while they sipped their hot beverages.
'Have you noticed it, Dave?' she asked. 'I mean, that he's been drinking too much. Ever since his dad died… it's gotten bad.'
David couldn't deny it; he knew it to be true. 'Yeah, I've noticed it. I didn't say anything, but while you were in the hospital one night, he and I went out to a bar… I had to stop him from driving home. Was he drinking before the accident today?'
'Cops said his BAC was 0.05%, not illegal to be driving, but still… that's two drinks, Dave… and he hadn't even had lunch yet!'
'Jeez,' David mumbled under his breath.
'Dave, he drinks all the time now! He thinks I don't know. And I worry about him with the baby. The other night he was holding Peter while I took a shower, and when I walked out of the bathroom, Benny had nodded off on the couch… with a one-week-old baby practically falling out of his arms!'
David felt like Angie was looking to him for some kind of help. He thought back to that night just before Christmas, when a drunken Benny pushed his way into Maddie's house, and Maddie's words to him the very next day, "Your friend needs professional help, David!" Why didn't he just listen to her? Why didn't he do something then? And, why on Earth did he still go out drinking with him?
Angie stood up, and went to peek in on Benny. When she came back, she said, 'I know someone… a girlfriend of mine from high school… she went to this place a couple hours north of here… a rehab. They really helped her to get her life back on track. I'm gonna call that place; see if I can get him to go there. But I'm gonna need your help, Dave. He won't listen to me, but he may listen to you. Will you help?'
David didn't need to even give it a thought. 'Definitely,' he said, 'whatever it takes to help him, I'll do it.' He got up off the bench, and went to give Angie a hug. 'You call me tomorrow?'
'I will... when he gets outta here.'
'Good night, and give that baby a kiss from his Uncle Dave, okay?'
Angie looked up, and nodded her head. 'Good night.'
Wednesday, March 30, 1989
The next morning David made it to the office building just a few minutes late. He hardly slept the night before, consumed with thoughts of tree branches crashing into car windows and how he was going to tell a guy who just became a father for the first time, that he should spend the next four weeks holed away in a rehab somewhere. He was exhausted, but he couldn't let anyone see how tired he was… especially not Maddie. The last thing he needed right now was her saying, 'I told you so.'
He walked up to the office window and peered inside… just in time to see the employees crowding around Maddie, eager to hear all about their exciting trip to Paris. 'Time to wake up and turn on the charm, Dave,' he said to himself. Then he turned the knob on the door and walked in.
'Mr. Addison!' the group yelled. 'You're here!'
'Now, now everyone, I know you're all wondering about our trip to Paris, and yes, yes… the art museums were nice, but…' David announced in a loud voice... holding up his hand, trying to gather the staff's attention. 'Step back, step back…' David cleared a circle around Maddie, while directing everyone to look at her. 'This, we have here, is the most beautiful piece of artwork known to the modern world. Note the exquisite lines… the curves! The vibrant colors… the golden hair, the rosy pink blush of the cheeks…'
Maddie smacked David on the arm. 'Would you stop that!?' she playfully scolded. Turning towards Dipesto and the rest of the Wobblies, she said, 'David and I had a wonderful time in Paris. We had a chance to visit several of the art museums… we went to the top of the Eiffel Tower… ate some really delicious French food.'
'The fries were to die for,' David interjected, which got him another smack from Maddie.
'We had a really nice time, didn't we, David?' Maddie asked, looking him directly in the eye.
His features softened when he looked at her. 'Yeah, we did… we really did.'
The noise in the office had died down, creating an awkward moment of silence. Suddenly, Ms. Dipesto started to smile and clap for them. The others joined in.
Quiet up 'til then, Bert Viola appeared from behind the crowd.
'Ms. Hayes… Mr. Addison… we are thrilled you two had an exciting time in Paris, and we welcome you back with open arms,' he said. 'I am happy to report that, as the lead investigator in your absence, I took the initiative to make some great strides with our existing caseload. On each of your desks, you will find that I placed the…'
Knowing this would go on forever, Maddie jumped in to thank Bert, while David put his arm around him, and said, 'Very impressive, very thorough, Bert, my man. But the lady and I have lots to do today, so we hate to do it, but we're gonna have to cut you short. Oh, I'm sorry,' David stood back and looked Bert up and down, 'looks like somebody already beat us to it.'
'Excuse me, everyone,' Maddie said, 'as you all know, it is tax time, and that means I will be in my office all day working on the bookkeeping. I really must focus, so please don't interrupt me unless it is entirely necessary. David, you'll get caught up on the casework?'
'Absolutely, m'dear.'
And with that they each disappeared into their respective offices.
As the sun began to set, Maddie emerged from her office to find that everyone had left for the day. 'Wow,' she thought to herself, 'they sure took me seriously when I asked not to be interrupted.'
She had gotten all her work done, so she thought maybe she'd see if David would like to join her for dinner. But when she looked in his office, he too was gone for the day. That was strange, she thought, that he would leave without saying goodnight to her. It was then that she saw the message light blinking on his phone. Having convinced herself that it was likely business-related, she pushed the button.
'Dave, it's a little after five o'clock.' Maddie's interest was piqued upon hearing the female voice. 'I don't know if you are already on your way over here, but I wanted to let you know I spoke with someone at the rehab I told you about. If we can talk him into going, they said they can admit Benny tomorrow morning. Please call me when you get this message.'
'Oh, David,' Maddie said to herself.
David looked down at his wristwatch… it was a quarter past ten. He decided he could use some fresh air so he went out front to sit on the porch steps. It was chilly out, but it felt good, refreshing... things had gotten pretty heated inside. Benny's house was situated on a peaceful side street, so David welcomed the quiet. Listening to three plus hours of arguing and yelling and crying can get to a guy. That's how long it took for David and Angie to convince Benny that he should spend the next thirty days at a rehab facility nearly two hours away.
He finally said he would go, but there were conditions. The first was that David had to be the one to take him because he didn't want his wife to have to drive him all that way with the baby. David suspected the real reason was that Benny felt ashamed and didn't want his wife to see him being admitted.
The second was that he wanted to be able to enjoy a few beers with David that night. They all knew that going forward everything would be different, so since this would be the last time, the three of them agreed that it would be okay. A final send-off of sorts… and a drunken one at that.
While David waited outside, he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and tossed them back and forth from hand to hand. Earlier that night he had stopped at a convenience store to grab a couple of hot dogs for dinner. He found himself staring at the cigarette rack behind the counter, and after a short internal struggle, he asked the clerk to ring up two packs. With the exception of maybe three or four occasions that he could think of, he hadn't bought cigarettes for himself in a very, very long time. He hadn't smoked on a daily basis since the day Maddie agreed to work with him four years ago. He never told her that… that he had stopped smoking because of her… well, for her, really. He knew there was no way she'd ever work with him if he smelled like a smokestack all the time.
Four years was a good run, he thought, and then he lit one up.
'Hey, good idea,' Benny said, as he stepped outside, and handed David a beer. 'Can I bum a cigarette off you?'
David gave Benny the pack and a lighter so he could help himself.
'My new vice,' he said, as he sat down. 'I was never much of a smoker, but I have a feeling that's gonna change.'
'You and Angie finally get Peter down to sleep?' David asked.
'Yeah, and then she fell fast asleep herself, right there in the rocking chair!'
'I can't blame her.'
'Dave, I know I put her through hell the last few months. I gotta owe up to that if I'm ever gonna get better for her and my kid.'
'You will. This place you're going to… just do as they say and you'll be fine.'
'This is gonna change things for us… me, you, Gus and Lou. Bowling nights… hanging out at the bar… all that.'
'Benny… you are a father now. Even if you weren't an alcoholic… guess what? All that would have to change. You think you're gonna have time to hang with the guys at the bowling alley while your kid's in little league or the school play? Hell no! You're gonna be there on the sidelines… cheerin' him on. That's where I'd be if I had a kid.'
The guys took a few long drags on their cigarettes, expelling nervous energy each time they exhaled.
'Could you do me a big favor, Dave? Could you check in on Angie while I'm away? She's got the baby, and she's probably gonna need some help. I mean, I know her sister's around, but between you and me, she's not the most dependable person in the world. I can count on you, right?'
'You know it! Every day… I'll call… I'll stop by after work when I can. That's not a problem at all.'
'Good. Knowing that makes it a lot easier for me to go.'
'I'm happy to do it.'
'Thanks, man.'
A little time passed… some small talk. More than just a few beers were knocked back, and the walls came crumbling down.
'You're a lucky man, Benny… a lucky sonofabitch, you know that?' David slurred.
Benny just looked over at David and listened. At least he looked like he was listening. He was drunk and tired, and not the least bit offended at being called a son of a bitch. In addition to the booze, smoking a half pack of cigarettes will do that to a guy… take the edge off and he'll tolerate his best friend calling him any name in the book.
'You got everything you wanted, man. Not me, though. Nah, I came close.' David sloppily held up his pointer finger to his thumb to emphasize his point. 'This close to having everything I wanted with Maddie and the baby.' He held onto the railing and stood up; throwing his beer can out into the street. 'Why couldn't I just make her happy, God?' he yelled up to the heavens, and then he chuckled, sitting back down. 'She made me so happy… hiccup… so happy. I could never be that happy loving another woman. I told her that, ya know? I woulda bent over backwards for her. And our kid… Maddie and I woulda had the cutest kid.' He looked down at the ground, and shook his head. 'I was powerless to save him. You know that? He died right there while I held Maddie in my arms, and I couldn't do a God damn thing. I wasn't good enough for either of 'em. Fucking failure, that's all I am.'
Angie had been standing in the doorway. For how long, he didn't know. 'You did the only thing you could, Dave. You held Maddie… that was all you could do. You were good enough.'
'Why didn't God help us that night?' he asked her.
'I don't have an answer for you. I wish I did, but I don't.' She opened the screen door. 'You two should come inside now. It's getting late, and you both have to leave early. Dave… I left you some sheets and a pillow. You can sleep on the couch. I'll wake you when you need to get up.'
Thursday, March 31, 1989
Maddie woke to the sound of her phone ringing. 'Hello?'
'Hey Blondie, it's me. Listen, I'm not going to be in the office today. I must've caught somethin' while we were in Paris. Some kinda stomach bug, or somethin' like that. I don't want you to catch it, so I'm just gonna stay in and rest today.'
Maddie knew David wasn't telling her the truth. She could tell he had his car window rolled down, and she could hear a man's voice - Benny's voice - in the background. But, she played along.
'You sure you're okay? Can I bring you anything?'
'No, I'll be fine. I've got some soup I can heat up. Don't worry about me.'
'Okay, if you need anything, just give me a call.'
'Yeah, I will. I'll talk to you later, Maddie.'
'Okay, good-bye.'
Before she even hung up the phone, Maddie knew exactly what she was going to do.
David wasn't home when Maddie arrived, so she let herself in with the key he gave her a long time ago. She wanted to be there for him when he returned, knowing it had to be a difficult morning for him. She brought breakfast with her and she wanted to have a place set where they could eat. So, she pulled a card table out of the closet and set it up in front of the trunk they used once to sit upon.
While she waited for him, she felt anxious and jittery so rather than sitting still she ran around and tidied up the place. She was wiping down his kitchen counter when she heard him come in the door. She swore she felt her stomach clench at the sound. 'Why am I so nervous?' she wondered to herself, but she knew why. She knew lines were crossed, and their relationship wasn't what it used to be.
She appeared in the kitchen doorway… he stood with his back to her… hands in his pockets… looking out the window. He still had on the same suit he wore yesterday, though it was unkempt, as if he had slept in it.
'Hey,' she said, startling him.
'What? Maddie, why are you here?' She could tell by his tone and his demeanor that he was already annoyed with her.
'I just thought maybe we could talk… that maybe you needed to talk. I feel badly… I know your friend went to rehab this morning.'
'Oh really, and how do you know that? I told no one about that.' He went from being annoyed to agitated.
Maddie suddenly became very nervous. She stuttered, 'Well, before I left work yesterday, I went into your office. I wanted to ask if you would have dinner with me. I saw you had a message. I thought maybe it was a client, so I listened to it. I'm sorry.'
'That's just great, Maddie. Now you're back to snooping in my office!'
'I wasn't snooping, David, and I said I was sorry.'
'Well, you should go home. I'm not in the mood to talk.'
'Well, maybe there's something we could do today… go for a walk at the park… drive somewhere… stop for lunch,' she said, trying to sound enthusiastic. She didn't want him to be alone at a time like this.
'Did you not hear me, Maddie? I said I don't wanna talk! Not at a park, not anywhere!"
'David, I'm worried about you! If you don't want to go out, that's fine. We can just stay here and do…'
'Do you wanna know what I feel like doing right now? Do you really wanna know?' David looked like he was going to explode.
'Yes.'
'I drop him off, right… and all I wanna do is go get smashed… all I wanna do is stop at the first bar I see and get completely smashed. But I'm thinking I can't do that. That's not right.' He wants to cry and she knows it.
'David, c'mere,' she said, as she reached out to give him a sympathetic hug.
'Don't,' said David. 'Don't do that,' he warned, holding his hand up to stop her.
'Why?' she asked, wanting nothing more than to be his friend in this moment.
'Because if you touch me right now, then I'm gonna wanna touch you. I'm gonna wanna rip your clothes off, push you down on the bed, and fuck you senseless until we both can't see straight! Then I'm gonna wanna throw the covers up over our heads, wrap my arms around you and hold you 'til I'm ready to face the light of day. That is what I feel like doing!'
Maddie was stunned. Her eyes widened, and she took in a sharp breath.
'Well, I can't do that, David, we can't do that! And frankly… you're scaring me right now!'
'Fine! Then you know what? Leave! The best thing for you to do now is leave me alone! You can take your coffee and your donuts, and you can leave!'
David frantically grabbed the drinks and the food from the table, and rushed to open his apartment door. He threw everything out into the hallway, where the coffee spilled and the donuts scattered on the dirty floor.
Maddie stared at David, shocked. Her mouth fell open, but she had no words.
He stood in the doorway, holding the door open for her.
'LEAVE!' he yelled.
Maddie calmly picked up her purse and keys. She was determined not to let him see any of the raging emotions he'd stirred up in her. The only thing she couldn't hide… the only thing that betrayed her cool exterior… was her shaky, heavy breathing.
Her heart was beating a mile a minute, and so was his. His was beating so fast, he thought he might pass out. As she approached the doorway, he refused to look at her. He couldn't look in her blue eyes. He wouldn't dare let himself see the disappointment he knew he would find there.
When she finally brushed past him, all he could feel was cold. His hands wanted to reach for her… to pull her back… to erase what just happened. But he wouldn't let them.
She was gone in an instant.
David slammed his door shut so hard it practically came off its hinges. He turned and pressed his hands and his forehead up against its hard wooden surface. Standing alone, squeezing his red, teary eyes shut, he mumbled, 'I'm sorry, Maddie.' He knew she couldn't hear him, but he needed to say the words anyway.
Maddie slammed her car door shut. She took a deep breath and looked in the rearview mirror, brushing the tears away from her eyes. She started the car and began the drive back to her house, all the while talking to herself as if David was sitting right next to her.
'See, this is exactly what I was afraid of, David… I knew that if we slept together that it would ruin our friendship. Ugh,' she groaned, 'I just knew it!'
EPILOGUE
Friday, April 1, 1989
The heavy rain stopped just as the cab pulled up to Maddie's driveway. After it had poured all day, David saw this as a positive sign that things were going to be okay.
He walked up to her front door, took a deep breath and knocked. While he waited for her to answer, he looked down to check how he looked – soft grey sweater… snug jeans, definitely showing off his best assets. But he was still so nervous. He wrung his sweaty hands together and took another deep breath.
She took a long time to come to the door, but when she did, he saw that despite the early evening hour, she was already dressed in her silk pajamas and bathrobe. She had not a stitch of makeup on and he thought she looked beautiful.
'Hey,' he said. His voice was gravelly, so he cleared his throat. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest.
'David.' The tone of her voice was confirmation of what he already knew… that she was indeed very upset with him. She had every right to be. And she seemed… distant and unwelcoming, the way she held the door only slightly ajar, as if she was talking to a stranger.
'Can I come in?'
'No,' she said, matter-of-factly.
Did he hear her right? 'You're not going to let me in?'
'No.'
'Okaaaay.' The vision in his mind of her passionately embracing him after he made his heartfelt apology suddenly disappeared. He shoved his hands in his pockets and said, 'That's fine. I can stand here and still do what I came here to do.'
'What's that?' she asked.
He looked her straight in the eye.
'Apologize. Maddie, I owe you the mother of all apologies… scratch that… the grandmother of all apologies. I was way outta line yesterday… the way I yelled at you, the way I treated you. I was rude and disrespectful, and I'm sorry.' He held up his hand to his chest, and in the sincerest of voices, said to her, 'From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry.'
He then gave her that grin of his, that smirk that almost always made her melt or cave or forgive.
'So, given that, can I come in now?' he asked.
'No.'
Three "no's" in a row concerned him. The night was not going as he'd planned, and nothing, not the apology, not the grin… none of it worked.
'Why?' he asked.
'Because we need some time apart, David. We need to take a break from each other. We still have the business to consider, so we have to maintain our professional relationship, but personally, David… you and I… we need a break.'
If her words were an arrow, it struck him right where it hurt. 'No, Maddie, c'mon. That's not fair!'
She tried desperately to ignore his bleeding heart. 'Can you do that? Just be my business partner?'
'Why, Maddie?'
She didn't say a word, just stared at him, impatiently waiting for an answer.
'Yeah, I can do that. I don't agree with it. I don't like it, and you're not giving me any other choice. But I guess what I want doesn't matter to you anyway. It never did.'
Surprised at his accusation, she said, 'That's not true!'
'It is true! You know what, Maddie? You want us to be all business. Fine, but that means you stop snooping around in my office, and for God's sake, stop asking me what I'm doing, where I'm doing it, and who I'm doing it with!'
Feeling like he just put her in her place, Maddie was fuming inside, but she said nothing.
David turned and started walking down Maddie's driveway, lighting up a cigarette as he went along, which did not go unnoticed by Maddie. She grimaced at the thought that he'd smoke just to get back at her. Didn't he know that she was hurting, too? That she felt conflicted all the time? That she loved him, but worried that her love wouldn't be enough in the long run? That being with her likely meant that he would never have a family of his own? That she was scared? How dare he guilt her with a puff of smoke. She needed to say something more… to reassure him that she still cared.
'David, let me call you a cab! Just wait there at the end of the driveway!' she yelled out to him. The thought of the trouble he could get himself into… aimlessly walking around LA at night… worried her.
'Don't do me any favors, Maddie. And don't call me this weekend. Strictly business now! Just go inside and go to bed. Leave me alone, I'll be fine.'
He took a seat on the curb where she couldn't see him from the house. He felt relieved he had the cigarettes. If he didn't, he thought he might just go insane. David knew the cab would take a little while to come, so he pulled out another cigarette. He flicked the lighter and stared intently at the flame. Just then, a car drove through a nearby puddle, kicking water up all over him, drenching him to the bone.
A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated, thank you!
