6:58 PM {Rin's POV}

[Kagamine Residence]

"Is it okay to lie sometimes?"

I quietly cried while I stuffed her face in my pillow, screaming uncontrollably with anger and remorse as saliva drooled from the edge of my lips. My face was hot and red, I felt like I was suffocating myself.

No way...I was focused on so many other things I couldn't even focus on what had made me pissed from the start. My mind just kept replaying the scene from earlier that broke me inside.

They kissed.

My worst nightmare had become a reality.

My sobs were overlapped by the sound of my cellphone vibrating from beside me, and I picked it up hastily, expecting it to be my brother, and yet...

It was a text from Gumi.


Gumi: Hey, are you okay? You left pretty early today, and Fukase told me you were crying.
Is everything okay? Did something happen? Len-kun told me he was looking for you.
He said Meiko-san picked you up and left without telling him, so I assumed something was up...

Rin: I told her not to.

Gumi: Oh...
Why not?

Rin: I don't wanna talk about it.

Gumi: RinRin, is it...
Is it about Miku?
Read

Rin: No.

Gumi: Alright then.
I'm going to go back to my nap, talk to you tomorrow!

Rin: Yeah. Talk to you tomorrow.


I didn't want my brother to leave me alone for some girl. I didn't want to end up alone. I'm going to be alone till the very end of my screwed-up life and I'll be a spirit haunted by the past, wandering around helplessly.

My heart ached as I continued screaming into my pillow, then finally ended my dramatic actions with a frustrated sigh. I clenched the core of my chest as it ached even more, making me cry. What was this feeling? Hatred? Words couldn't describe how I felt on the inside. I felt like a needle was stabbing me in the heart and tearing off my skin and flesh effortlessly yet painfully.

Why did that girl have to come into me and Len's life like it was nothing? She ruined everything, all of it. She always has that freaking smile on her face like what she was doing to me meant nothing to her.

What the hell was wrong with that girl?

She's a freaking alien from a different universe, who so happens to take some sort of happy pill every time she's around me just to make me jealous.

...

Wait.

Jealous..?

That girl...I hate everything about her. Why am I so envious of her? She has nothing special that I don't have. I'm not jealous of her. Is this what this aching feeling is? The desire to have what someone perfect in your view has? What does she have that I don't!? Love, money? I thought about all the things that she could have that I didn't and a couple of things came to mind.

A supportive sibling, a boyfriend, a loving family, popularity, good grades, high beauty standards...she had everything I didn't have. Why the heck is life treating me like bullshit? What did I do to deserve this? Did I do something wrong in the past? Is this my punishment now?

My blood coursed in my veins with pure fuming anger and hatred.

Anxiously, I crawled off my bed and began pacing around my bedroom, sobbing uncontrollably before I abruptly slammed open a drawer from my dresser and took out a pocket knife.

No. Not yet.

I felt my stomach churn and ache badly I immediately run to the bathroom and slam the door, before unexpectedly throwing up in the toilet.

Wh-what the hell?

I freeze as I felt the liquid bubble up from my throat as I continued my actions, my head began aching I felt like it was being split in half. I started crying uncontrollably as my stomach ached, even more, I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I throw up again, again, and again.

Damnit, make it stop...

It hurts badly. Like my stomach was being torn into pieces with a sharp knife, each organ ripped apart from my abdomen. After about ten minutes, I take a deep breath, slowly backing away from the toilet sink as I stood up carefully.

I should be fine now.

...Miku...compared to me...

I'm just a worthless piece of trash, aren't I?

7:27 PM {Len's POV}

[Kagamine Residence]

Jeez. Where the hell is my sister?

Having failed to open the door more than once, I burst it open. In a frenzied attempt to find anyone in the kitchen, I slammed the door and ran there, but to my surprise, there was no one there. "Rin-chan..?" My words come out silently, but then I lost the rest of my sentence. "Rin-"

While leaning against the wall, one hand rests on Rin's stomach and one free, she says with a stern voice, "Have fun with your girlfriend?" Those same illustrious pools of clear azure water were now blue flames screaming out into the darkness.

Clearly, she was pissed off.

What the heck?

"Erm, what? Uh, yeah..But..that doesn't matter. Are you okay?-"

"I had been crying and throwing up for about half an hour and yet you come home after your stupid date and ask me if I'm okay?" She screamed abruptly, her blue eyes fuming with regret as she grabbed my sweater tightly, my eyes grew wide with shock. My focus was overtaken by her angry expression, her blue eyes, usually filled with joy and warmth, were now coated with fumes of blaring anger. I wasn't aware that she had pinned me against the wall at the time.

What the heck? Why was she so pissed? "Excuse me, I did not know you were throwing up! Why didn't you text me? Or- Or call me, even!?" After seemingly endless yelling, Rin grimaced, holding her stomach after raising her voice too much.

She irritated me to no end. "Because I obviously didn't want to interrupt your fucking cliche moment with Little Miss Perfect." Rin cursed under her breath, snarling as her body began to tremble with anger.

I snarled, "Little Miss What?"

"You heard me, stupid! I saw all of it. She made goo-goo eyes at you, you talked to her, I saw everything." She shouted louder than she had intended. With anger coursing through my veins, I pinch the edge of my nose bridge in frustration, struggling not to raise my voice. We had argued about stupid things before, but this time it felt different.

Too different.

"Don't start shit, Rin. I'm tired. Can we just talk about this tomorrow?-"

"No." She says angrily as she interrupts me, her eyes sending murderous shots of daggers through my angered soul. "I don't care if you're fucking tired or not. I just...why do you like her so much? What's there that is so special about her!?" She yelled loudly, her voice shaking and crying like she was about to cry any moment.

"My gosh..." I gritted my teeth, "Why are you wearing a sweater?" I ask, changing the subject in which she raises an eyebrow, and scoffs under her breath while mumbling inaudible words.

I clenched my fists, sweat rising in my body and heat crawling on my skin as I tried not to get upset. Yet she was making it too hard, she makes it so easy to get mad at.

"Don't change the subject here, you fucking asshole," Rin replies, which makes me want to rip her mouth off and make her shut up, she had never called me that before and it was pissing me off. "What did you fucking just say?" I growled as I stared at her with a stern look.

"Rin...I'm tired. Stop." I say once.

Rin stood silent and shook her head.

"Rin, please," I say twice.

Rin shook her head again as I stood up, then she unexpectedly grasped my wrist tightly making me wince.

I was losing it.

"Rin...go to sleep, please," I say finally.

She shook her head, reddening with fuming anger. I took a deep breath, biting my lip with anger written all over my face. I stared at her deadly for a second, then sighed in frustration. "I'm not going to let you-"

I grab her wrist tightly as she yelps in pain, then shove her away from me and throw her a deadly glare as her eyes widened. "What the hell-"

"Go to sleep," I say sternly, then stomp over to my room and slam the door as I sigh in frustration. I am responded with silence before I hear a horrible scream creep out of Rin's room. The horrid sound of it made me pissed so I came out and stomped over to her room, breath heavy. "You know what? I'm done playing goodie two shoes with you. What the hell made you so freaking pissed, Rin?! Do you think we're dating now or what!?" I yell out, snarling. "Yes, I do!" Rin yelled back in return. "Oh, my fucking..." I struggled to hold in another snarl.

"Well news flash for you, WE'RE NOT!"

"YES, YOU ARE!"

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW!? ALL YOU SAW WAS THAT WE WERE MAKING STUPID OPTIONS, WHAT ELSE DID YOU SEE!?"

"YOU KISSED THAT GIRL, DUMBASS!"

I froze.

"Wh-what?" I quietly say, my brain trying to process the words she had just said. Rin breathed heavily, each with a grimace before she slammed a palm to her mouth and ran to the bathroom. "Rin!?-" I chased after her, kneeling beside her by the toilet seat. Rin sobbed uncontrollably as she threw up, then held her aching stomach and groaned in searing pain. What the hell was going on.

"Rin, what's wrong?-"

"Your girlfriend, that's what." She says in a weird tone before throwing up again, "What the hell did Miku ever do to get you pissed!?" I yell as I stand up, my voice bouncing off the porcelain walls. "Jeez...why do you hate her so much? She does everything she can to be nice to you-" I muttered under my breath, the terrible sound of my sister throwing up interrupted my sentence.

"I wouldn't necessarily want to kill myself because of her," Rin mutters.

I froze.

"What the hell did you just say?-"

"EVERYTHING IS BECAUSE OF HER, OKAY!? I HATE HER AND I'M NOTHING COMPARED TO HER! I AM A WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH!"

I stayed quiet after that. Slowly, I stood up then sighed in frustration and ran a hand through my blonde hair, grasping a chunk of it tightly.

"Rin, could you just shut up for once?"

Rin sniffled, staring at me confused. "Wh-what?" I snarl, "Why is it that almost every time you treat me like shit? Am I just some sort of toy to you instead of your brother or what?" I growl, clasping my hair even tighter. Rin sniffled again, "Th-that's because...I-I.." she hesitated, tears dripping from the edge of her cheeks. She swallowed nervously as she sobbed, breathing heavily as her voice cracked every time she spoke. "I-I don't.."

I clear my throat violently, frustrated. "What? You don't know?" Rin nodded in reply, making me growl. "What do you mean you don't know!? That's always your answer, why don't you ever tell me!?-"

"I hate you."

I froze.

What did she just...

...

It was silent. None of them could process what the other had said, or heard. Their ears rang out deafeningly as it blocked their hearing, nothing could be heard and nothing could be said.

A careless sister had just said something she didn't mean to say, and a careless brother was too focused on the girl he had liked instead of giving attention to the broken one.

Because neither of them will truly ever know how they feel.

And that was final.