November 2, 1998
"RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY, WE NEED TO TALK," came a voice from around ten feet behind Ron as walked down a corridor headed to the courtyard.
"Could you maybe not yell at me quite so loudly when we're in public?" Ron asked while holding his head.
"Oh, don't pretend that it hasn't anything to do with being in public. You're just hungover from hanging out with Harry and the twins at The Three Broomsticks last night. Don't think I didn't hear about that." Lavender hissed as they approached their normal bench.
"It wasn't a secret, Lavender. I just needed to let off some steam, I don't know if you heard but I kinda had a rough day yesterday."
"Yes, would you like to discuss getting in a fight over another girl first or your getting plastered on a school night because I'll have you know that I am frustrated about both issues."
"You are always frustrated," Ron stated flatly as he laid down and pushed her off the bench.
Huffing as she used her bag to hit him in his head so he'd sit up where he could put his head in her lap, "How exactly was I supposed to feel when I found out that you were in the hospital wing after getting in a fight with one of those criminals in Slytherin? And to top it all off, it started because the felon told you Hermione Granger had been off jacking around with a former death eater? Why do you even care what she does?"
"I don't know if you read the newspapers right after the war, but if you had, you'd know that she and I spent a lot of time together in our childhoods bonding and whatnot. To top it all off, we helped our third best friend destroy the greatest dark wizard of all time. It's a thrilling tale, you should look into it." Ron said all of that while refusing to open his eyes and trying to prompt Lavender to rub his head.
"Okay, so she's your friend, I guess. How am I supposed to feel knowing you've gotten in a fight for her honor but not mine?"
"I'm sorry, did someone question your honor and I missed it?"
"No, I would never put myself in that situation. Perfect little Miss Granger finally getting what's coming to her after years of her judging me. Can you believe she was actually in there with Draco Malfoy? What were either of them thinking? I mean, I suppose we can guess what he was thinking. None of this explains why you didn't meet me in our corner of the common room after you got out of the hospital wing. I only found out where you went when I saw Madam Pomfrey and she said you'd headed to Hogsmeade with Harry against her medical advice."
"I don't really want to think about where Hermione and Malfoy were or how they got there, Lavender. I'm still not completely convinced that she wasn't under the Imperius curse but Harry says they checked for that." Ron paused here while he fought the urge to dry heave. "As for Madam Pomfrey's medical advice, she tries to keep people overnight for hangnails, I took my chances and I lived."
"Yes, that's why you were still drunk in class this morning and are absolutely miserable right now."
Ron groaned at that observation before stating, "Harry is not upset enough about this Hermione situation. I suggested doing an intervention or something and he just shrugged me off."
"Why would Harry care? He has Ginny, doesn't he?"
"Lavender, would your whole world crash around you if I told you that people can care for members of the opposite gender without it being more than friendship."
Lavender promptly burst into silent tears that Ron missed as he put his arm over his eyes to block as much sunlight as he possibly could.
"Enough of that nonsense, how was your shopping trip with my sister and your friends on Saturday?"
Lavender paused for a moment to calm herself before she spoke.
"Yeah, it was fine. I know I'm supposed to figure out how to get along with your sister, but it seems useless when she obviously doesn't want to get along with me."
"What makes you say that?"
"She's mean to me for absolutely no reason. I was simply telling the group about this new muggle television show called The Bachelor where a bunch of women try to get the one guy to marry them. What a great love story that's gonna be for the winner. In like 50 years, when they have grandchildren, they can watch that show and see how it all began."
"One bloke marries a bunch of women?"
"No. One bloke dates a bunch of women and picks one to marry."
"And people watch this?"
"Obviously." Lavender glared pointedly at him. "Anyway, I wondered aloud if they'd make a wizarding version of the show because I'd watch that in a heartbeat and Ginny said, 'I don't think the wizarding world likes things that are stupid.' That's such a rude thing to say considering you can't even see what's happening most of the time in Quidditch but no one ever shuts up about it."
"Is that all she did because, I'll be honest, that's just breakfast conversation with Ginny these days. She's starting to look like our mother with her lack of patience."
"Of course not, that's just the first thing that happened. She said my suggestion of having lunch at Madam Puddifoot's was dumb, said my aversion to the joke shop showed a lack of humor and then asked if I needed to restock my love potion collection since I'm probably running low these days."
"What did she mean by that last bit?"
"She's clearly insinuating that the only reason you're with me is because I have you under a love potion."
"Oh."
"Oh?" Lavender asked, borderline hysterical.
Ron shrugged, finally sitting up but still refusing to look anywhere near the sun.
"I don't know, Lavender. Still seems like you had a better day than me. I couldn't find Hermione or Harry so I was forced to listen to Neville go on about plants and shit for the first part of the day. It would be a lot more interesting if he had any interest at all in growing hallucinogens but he's such a prude that I'm scared he'll write to my mom if I ask again. Then McGonagall volunteered me to help the prefects set up the Halloween feast. I thought one of the best parts of there being no eighth year prefects was that I didn't have to do menial labor anyway, but whatever. She still volunteered all the former prefects she could find."
"Yeah, Ginny, Luna and I were all a little late to the feast but we still beat Harry and Hermione, didn't we? Hm, I wonder what The Chosen One and The Golden Girl were up to?" Lavender asked suggestively.
"Don't be like that."
"Be like what? I'm sorry but after Pansy Parkinson caught Hermione and Malfoy naked in a broom closet, I think I can make those comments in peace. It's not like Granger has a leg to stand on here."
Ron sat in silence while he appeared to be fighting the urge to vomit.
"Plus, I'd love to see Ginny catch Hermione with her boyfriend like that. Between the hexes and punches, there would be nothing left of Granger."
Ron chuckled softly at that, "You might just be right on that one, but I still don't think Hermione and Harry were off doing anything like that. Harry would never do that to Ginny."
"Then what was he off doing on Saturday?"
