November 15, 1998

"Minerva, you know I love these visits, but if I was never summoned to your office to discuss these eighth years, it would be too soon."

The headmistress looked at her defense professor with pursed lips and bid him to sit on the other side of her desk.

"Speaking of, how are the eighth years you have the honor of hosting three nights a week doing?"

"Oh just splendid. They were delighted to learn that they're spending this week cleaning out greenhouse nine."

"When was the last time greenhouse nine was utilized?"

"Pomona has a faint memory of it being usable in her early years as a student here."

Professor McGonagall smiled wryly at this before she said, "How much longer do you think they need before they learn the importance of discretion?"

"Oh, the Malfoy boy is there now."

"Excellent. So you'll free them at the holiday break?"

"Oh, I thought I'd let them know they were free after the break. Let them think it might last all year."

Professor McGonagall good-naturedly rolled her eyes at this suggestion.

"Were you able to have a productive conversation with Mr. Malfoy? I tried speaking with Miss Granger when she was in the hospital wing after the fight, but she refused to level with me."

"I told him to act like he's on probation but I left it at that. Minerva, you know these children have all been adults for a year now, right?"

"Yes, and I'm also aware that they are all veterans dealing with a variety of mental traumas they have no idea how to handle. They still need guidance, even if they don't realize it."

"I forced Mr. Malfoy to have dinner with his mother immediately following the incident. That is exactly as much guidance as I'm willing to help with. What is your plan for Miss Granger since she finds herself parent-less?"

Professor McGonagall sighed softly before speaking.

"I reached out to a variety of adults in her life that she might listen to."

"Was anyone particularly helpful?"

"No, but I'm still trying. In the meantime, we need to make sure there's no more half-naked brawls in the corridors. Do we need to worry about Miss Granger and Mr. Malfoy picking their affair back up when they've got free time again or is that whole mess over?"

"It's hard to say because, while they've been ignoring each other in classes and detention, they were also ignoring each other in public while the affair was happening in earnest. It's best if we assume they'll pick it back up. Our biggest problem isn't the star-crossed lovers, but Miss Parkinson. Is it not possible to have her expelled? She has her OWLs, she doesn't care about her NEWTs, the ministry didn't require her to be here and she is a nuisance to all who come in contact with her."

"If you would like to be the one to explain to her mother why her daughter can't finish her education here, be my guest."

Professor Snape scoffed at this suggestion.

"Are you telling me that Miss Parkinson is here because you're scared of her mother?"

"Is this you volunteering for the job then?"

They shared a knowing look before they continued.

"Between Miss Parkinson's destruction and the inappropriate actions of the older couples and the tornado that is Mr. Nott, I'm very close to quitting and finding myself a job where I have to speak to no one. Did you know that Mr. Nott and Mr. Zabini ate so much food in the kitchens last weekend that the house elves actually complained? How am I supposed to pretend that I don't know what the smell in the common room is when they do stuff like that? I'm ready to let the entire eighth year class use my Floo everyday so they can live at home."

"I certainly wish someone had had that wonderful thought before the year started, but I suppose we were a little preoccupied with piecing our own lives back together."

The conversation stalled for just a moment before the headmistress' face lit up.

"But that idea could solve our love bird problem."

Professor Snape stared at his long-term colleague clearly not understanding where she was going with this.

"Just tell Mr. Malfoy to find somewhere else to meet with Miss Granger. He can use your Floo, she can use mine. As he's your godson and she's been a star pupil of mine for years, no one will think it's odd that they're visiting our offices. As long as they keep it quiet, we'll at least head off any more beatings."

"You only like this idea because my snakes are winning."

"I won't lie and say I wasn't embarrassed by my house's performances but, as headmistress, I just need it to stop."

"Are we supposed to open our Floo connections to all the students who can't keep their hormones in check?"

"It's my understanding that this is our only eighth year couple in different houses, it's obviously different."

"You just have a soft spot for Miss Granger."

"Severus, would you like to discuss your special standards for Mr. Malfoy or shall we move on?"

"I'll chat with Mr. Malfoy about this arrangement as I'm freeing him from detention. Between his classes and detentions, he has no business sneaking off the grounds every evening. Would this arrangement not break any school rules or are we just making it all up as we go along?"

"To my knowledge, this is the first ever eighth year class in Hogwarts' history. I'll just write a rule that says eighth years can have sleeping arrangements off the grounds if they're passing all their classes."

"So we're making up new rules as we go then. You learned a lot from Dumbledore. Speaking of our shared mentor, you do realize that even he never taught a class as headmaster, right? Are you looking for a new Transfiguration professor?"

"As a matter of fact, I have one contracted for next year that will also, thankfully, relieve me of my duties as Gryffindor head of house. Godric knows I am not doing a very good job this year."

"Glad to see you know it too. Can I ask who is it that can't start this year when you so clearly need the help?"

"You could ask, but you would not like the answer so you ought to refrain."

"Minerva."

"Severus."

"It's not him."

"He's highly qualified. In fact, he's uniquely qualified for both positions. To my knowledge, he's the only other living Gryffindor Animagus."

"Consider this my resignation. I'll have my office cleaned out the day before he arrives."

"Over petty schoolyard disagreements? Are you not a fully grown wizard? This is pathetic."

"Why didn't he come this year? I would have assumed he'd have jumped at the opportunity."

"His exact words were, 'I taught Harry and the Weasleys everything I know. I refuse to be responsible for reigning that in.'"

"He always was a coward."

"Can you blame him? Between the house elves that absolutely fawn over Mr. Potter and Peeves dying to help The Chosen One, I am jealous that he has the option to wait it out. Not that Mr. Potter has too much time for shenanigans with his relationship with the youngest Weasley. I'm just glad they haven't been too obvious unlike…"

"Her brother and that insufferable Miss Brown? Yes. That is a nightmare."

"I suppose if you're resigning, I can have Mr. Lupin take your place. He'd be a better fit for head of Gryffindor anyway and Slughorn can take over Slytherin house again. Are you serious about resigning?"

"Minerva, have I ever seemed, for a moment, like I enjoyed being a teacher here?"

"We'll miss you."

"No, you won't."