[NOTE]
ok, warning.
yeah, you guys know the drill.
9:15 PM
"Sometimes I wonder why I was put into this world. To experience happiness? Or to experience sadness?"
Rin began sobbing, her loud crying filling the dead silence lingering in the room. She had lost so many important things to her, her best friend, her brother, and her academic studies.
All due to stupid things she had done.
"Fuck my LIFE!" She sobbed, burying her face in her vanilla-colored blanket, the tears dabbing onto the warm cloth, her heart ached as she continued to cry uncontrollably, every sob making her eyes sore and swollen. "AGH!"
She sat up, tears rolling down her crimson cheeks as her body unconsciously began strutting towards her dresser. She pulled out her drawer and grabbed her pocket knife. Rin ran towards the bathroom, staring at her dead reflection. Her eyes were ringed with black bags, each one representing the number of sobs she had cried out.
[Stop]
As she began cutting herself, each cut was unbearably painful, but she didn't stop. Blood began trickling down on her pale slim arms like a throbbing river, each drop of crimson liquid falling onto the floor, making a tiny pool on the marble surface. After she was satisfied with her amount, she turned on the faucet before beginning to undress from her gloomy clothes.
She set them into a careless pile on the corner, before entering the shower.
The cold water washed over her pale, bare skin. Beads of red cindery water washed over the white surface of the bathtub, drowning in the deadly holes of the drain that pulled them down one by one to their death. The cold water eventually controlled her and all she did was just stand there, frozen like a statue made out of frozen glass.
Rin had felt so numb she didn't even feel a single thing, she couldn't tell the difference between her tears and the water coming from the shower.
She wished she could become the water.
Water is nothing.
It tastes like nothing.
It gives off life.
Rin wished she could give someone happiness, but she feels like a broken flower. A flower that had been torn apart into pieces, into nothing. Its withered petals were now turned into dust that flew across the sea, lost in despair because it didn't have a place to go home.
No purpose.
She doesn't need to be in this world.
She doesn't have a purpose to live.
[Start]
After her cold, freezing shower and thinking about her life decisions, she went straight to bed. However, due to the voices screaming in her head as they split her brain in half, she tossed and turned frantically but could not get a single shuteye no matter how hard she tried. Rin huddled inside her cold bedsheets, shutting her eyes tightly as she began to sweat and tremble with fear so much she couldn't stop. "What the actual..." Rin snarled as she groaned in frustration. "Ugh."
"Fuck..." She cursed, continuing to shiver uncontrollably, the only warmth she could feel was the warmth of her own monotone-colored teddy bear that was lying helplessly beside her. "...Why can't I sleep...?" Rin questioned, staring blankly at the empty space next to her shallow body.
All of a sudden, she had this yearn to feel someone's warmth beside her. Someone that she truly found endearing and that would help her feel better instantly no matter the situation.
But at the same time, she didn't want to give in to her feelings.
Perhaps, she only liked the soft feeling.
And it was that same feeling that you get while squeezing a teddy bear, or going insane because of all the emotions you get while thinking of someone that you share deep feelings for.
Love.
She wanted to feel love, and feel loved.
Rin didn't know if her brother truly does love her, none of them ever admitted to each other about their feelings. They both didn't know how to say what they wanted to say.
She also doesn't know if Gumi or Fukase love her as much as she loves them. She didn't know how to show her feelings towards her brother, but she does care about him and loves him just as much as she loves her friends, but she didn't know what to even say.
What could she even say in the first place that wouldn't seem weird?
She had fallen asleep to her murmuring thoughts that were floating in her head as she dreamed peacefully, the tranquil atmosphere of her bedroom was soothing and it helped her sleep. The room was filled with the soft sounds of her calm breathing, but it wasn't until she had woken up.
Rin opened her eyes, yet she couldn't see anything in the darkness.
She had attempted to get up, but...she couldn't.
What the heck?
She opened her mouth to speak, but...she couldn't.
Rin couldn't do anything.
I...I can't move.
Suddenly, her bedroom door burst open, a silhouette cast over the white ivory door. It looked demonic, its sharp teeth were glistening in the darkness, beady eyes glowing eerily in the bedroom.
It stared at her deadly.
Oh no.
Paralyzed, Rin attempted to open her mouth to speak, but her lips were frozen shut. She attempted to move but her legs and arms wouldn't budge. All she could hear was the hypnotizing rhythm of her throbbing heart and her heavy intense breathing, along with the overlapping sound of faint whispers.
You're a failure.
You're nothing in life.
Just die already.
The demonic nature had sprung towards her bed, its bright shallow eyes staring into Rin's horrified blue ones.
'No..don't hurt me! GO AWAY!' Was what she wanted to yell, but no matter what she did her lips wouldn't move.
She breathed intensely as she continued to attempt to make her body move, and her fingers slowly began twitching in the seams of the sheets. She kept her eyes shut tightly as beads of sweat were drenched in her messy dirty blonde hair until she could finally move.
Rin opened her eyes.
The figure was gone.
"Goddamnit, leave me alone!" She yelled out abruptly, sobbing uncontrollably and her breath shaking. She slowly got up from her bed, her body lazily strutting to the kitchen as she grabbed a small plastic cup, then filled it with freezing water. Rin gulped the cold liquid as it trickled down her throat, the impact of it made her chest go all chilly and weird. "Agh,"
She sniffled, "Why did that bastard leave me all alone..?"
She wished she never told her brother all those things, she didn't want him to think that she actually hated him. Rin truly and deeply cared about her brother, she was just confused on how to tell him or show it that she cared about her brother.
Maybe we weren't even meant to say anything to each other at all.
9:16 AM
Miku was awakened by the morning light, the warm soft rays of the sun crept in the room as they greeted her politely. She softly yawned, shifting her head towards the side to see Len's slim figure sleeping peacefully inside the bedsheets. His cute sleeping face made her giggle.
[Stop]
Miku was about to go back to sleep, but she was abruptly interrupted by the horrible sound of retching and vomiting.
...Luka?!
The tealette scrambled from her bed, throwing her bedsheets to the blonde male's side as she ran out of her room, hastily walking towards the bathroom to see Luka's figure kneeling near the toilet seat. "LUKA!" Miku yelled abruptly, she didn't care if she was being loud, she was more concerned with why the heck her sister was throwing up. "What the hell, are you okay!?" She exclaimed with worry as the pinkette continued to throw up. "...The counter.." Luka coughs as she speaks with a weak tone, "Check the counter.." Luka hoarsely whispered, pointing towards the gray marble counter beside the tealette.
Miku quickly shifted towards the counter with fear as her eyes widened with shock and dissatisfaction.
...A pregnancy test..?
Miku heavily breathed as she slowly grabbed the test, flipping it over to see the results.
She froze.
Miku abruptly dropped the test as it fell onto the cold surface of the marble floor, she couldn't even hear anything. She was in pure shock.
All she could hear was the sound of her sister horribly throwing up and the hypnotizing sound of her heart throbbing in her eardrums.
[Start]
"Luka," Miku says with a dead tone.
Luka coughs as her attention focuses on her younger sister, her eyes dead and cold and her skin out of color. "Yes..?" She says weakly, coughing up the last bit of her strength. "When did you hook up with someone?" Miku growls, her blood boiling through her veins. "And how long have you freaking known?" The tealette snarls again, her tone strong. Luka sniffles as she wipes her red-tinted nose with her thin finger, "I...hooked up with my boyfriend last week." The pinkette states, making her younger sister pissed even more. "I've known for two weeks, actually."
Miku cursed under her breath, "So you're telling me that I've been alone these whole two damn weeks just because your ass was holding a freaking baby!?" She yelled, louder than expected.
"Luka, why didn't you tell...No, why did you hook up with some random guy!?-"
"He's not a random guy Miku, he's my ex-boyfriend!" Luka exclaimed in return as Miku froze. The tealette whipped her head instantly to the older woman, her eyes fuming with searing anger as her breath quickened and became intense. "What?" Miku growls, her fists clenching tightly.
"Your ex?"
...
"HE'S YOUR FUCKING EX!?"
Luka stood silent for a while.
"I-I was thinking if..." Luka swallowed nervously, the tears slipping out of her ocean eyes. She knew that her little sister was upset but everything was too much for her to handle. "M-maybe..you c-could move out?-" Miku breathed heavily, each with a grimace as she finally turned the waterworks on.
"Luka...why!?" She yelled out, sobbing. "I'm not moving out for nine months, Luka! I'm not going out into the streets like six years ago!" Miku yelled, turquoise eyes watery.
Miku sobbed uncontrollably, "Fine. Do whatever the hell you feel like doing. I'm leaving." She snarled, slamming the bathroom door as she ran towards her room, crying her heart out.
"M-Miku?!-" Len sat up from Miku's bed as the tealette unexpectedly hugged him tightly, burying her face in his chest. "Miku..?" Len says, his warm voice soothing her.
She just stood there, crying in his arms as she spoke nothing but silence.
10:09 AM
Rin was awoken by the screeching sound of her cellphone ringing in her ears, she abruptly scrambled off her bed, then groaned as she grasped her cellphone.
The sleepy female answered the call, "Hello..." She hoarsely whispers, gently sighing in exhaustion as she rubs her eyes. There were some sounds of shuffling, a printer going off, some more sounds of shuffling and then blows of wind.
"Kagamine Erin!" Meiko's scolding tone spoke from the small box beside Rin's ears. "Why did you get suspended!? Len told me everything yesterday, oh my God." Meiko sighed in frustration, her hazelnut voice humming from Rin's cellphone. "Are you okay? He better be taking care of you right now, dear God."
It had been a while since she heard her full name being spoken by another. She wasn't used to it and thought it was too formal so she preferred to use nicknames instead.
The last time she had heard her full name being spoken was on...that day.
"Where's Lenny? Is he home right now?" Meiko asks, shuffling around her car and sipping her last drop of coffee. "No. Len isn't home right now. He's with his girlfriend." Rin replied with a bored, low tone as she picked at a piece of lint in her nail.
"He...he has.." Meiko sighed in frustration, shaking her head. "God, whatever. Kids these days always want to date early." Meiko sighed again, "Rin, you're telling me you got suspended just because you got into a fight with some girl? Len also said that you were defending a classmate that you don't know well either?" Meiko continued complaining as Rin stood in bitter silence.
"Rin, you need to be more responsible, please. Sigh."
Completely pissed off, Rin slowly began losing it.
"Oh yeah!?" Rin finally yelled back, "Then where the hell were you when they were signing the papers!? I bet you were drinking away your problems," The female snarled, "Like you always do."
The line went so silent for a while, she thought that Meiko had hung up.
"...I-I'm sorry.." Rin mumbled, realizing how terrible she must have sounded. "I...I-I didn't mean to-" her sentence was interrupted by the small sounds of Meiko's sniffling. "...Mei-chan?" Rin spoke gently. "Ah, nothing. Take care of your brother okay?" Meiko sniffled, "Bye, Rin." The brunette muttered under her breath before abruptly hanging up the call. "W-wait...Meiko?!"
Rin attempted to call her again, but...
We're sorry, the number you have tried to reach is temporarily unavailable.
Rin sobbed. She didn't mean any of those things, they just came out of nowhere. You know the feeling when you say something that you don't mean but it's too late to even say anything?
Yeah, she hates that feeling.
Rin unexpectedly decided to scroll through her contacts, until her teary gaze landed on a certain someone. To be more specific, that boy who had called her cute at the amusement park and then reunited with her at school. "...Nah." She scoffs, holding back tears.
Nah. I'm not gonna call him.
Rin sighed in frustration. "You know what, fuck this, whatever." She clicked on his contact and clicked the cellphone icon as the line began ringing. Rin anxiously bit her lip, her heart throbbing in her eardrums.
Why am I so nervous?
Sure, it was her first time talking to a guy on the phone, besides Fukase and Kaito, but she felt her body grow weary and weak.
The cellphone line began ringing continuously until she heard someone pick up the phone.
"Hello?"
[NOTE]
How are you guys holding up?
Anyways, I should probably have said this earlier, but
If you guys are planning to end your life, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get some help.
Don't lose hope in life man, seriously. Yes, it sucks sometimes but I assure you, it will get better.
Anyways, have a great day/night!
