December 23, 1998

"Oy, Hermione!" Ginny called from the Christmas tree over to the couch where her friend was adding popcorn and cranberries to a string in what Ginny could only surmise was yet another muggle tradition Hermione loved.

"Yes, Ginny?"

"We should set up a NEWT study group when we get back to school. Merlin knows I'd fail half my exams if they were held today." Hermione perked up at this as she was never one to turn down a study group. Ginny continued, "I was thinking we could do Tuesday evenings. Does that work for you?"

Hermione's entire face turned beet red in an instant as she realized where this conversation was inevitably heading. She turned to leave the room and found the door to the kitchen blocked by the twins and the door to the stairway occupied by Harry's godfather who was chatting with Mr. Weasley about something.

Ginny refused to back down. "So Tuesdays at 7pm sound good? I think it should work for most of the 7th and 8th years."

Hermione sighed resignedly, hoping she could at least mitigate the fallout. At least Mrs. Weasley was off doing some last minute Christmas shopping with Percy.

"No, Ginny, I cannot do Tuesdays at 7pm."

"Oh," Ginny said with a grin, "What about Thursdays? Gryffindor has Quidditch practice on Wednesdays."

"Nope, can't do Thursdays either."

"Oh, man, you are really busy. Fridays should work though, right?"

"No, they also do not work which you know perfectly well."

Remus, who had entered the room at Sirius' behest during this exchange, piped up, "What on earth could keep you so busy? Did you restart SPEW or something, Hermione?"

"'Or something' is about right," Hermione mumbled under her breath.

"No, really," Sirius jumped in at this one. "What has our little Hermione so busy that she doesn't even have time for a study group?"

Harry spoke up from the tree where he had been helping Ginny, "Yeah, Hermione. Do you not have time to help the less fortunate students anymore?"

Hermione sighed, looked up at the ceiling and said, "Nope. Because I have detention all of those evenings and you all know it so let's move on now."

Fred and George looked up as though they had been personally summoned into the conversation. "Wait, you have detention every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday? For how long?" George queried.

"Until Snape and McGonagall let me go, I suppose."

"George, I think this little lady might have broken our record for the most detentions given for one offense. I don't know if I'm offended or impressed."

"Fred, I think that depends on what exactly our lovely troublemaker did."

"Ah, yes, George. Hermione, what ever did you do to earn yourself unlimited detentions?"

"It's not unlimited. I'm hoping they let us go by Easter."

"'Us?' Who is this 'us'?" Remus asked good naturedly.

"Might as well tell the whole story, Mione," Harry piped up from his little corner.

"I'd really rather not," Hermione sighed, but at Harry's knowing look continued on. "Okay. Fine. There was an incident."

Ginny snorted in the most un-ladylike fashion.

"An incident wherein an absolutely insane Slytherin pulled me out of a broom closet where I had been minding my business."

"Draco Malfoy's business," Ginny amended.

"And promptly went to assaulting me. I couldn't locate my wand as my mind and hands had been previously occupied."

"With Draco Malfoy's business," Ginny added, not so subtly making crude hand gestures whenever she was certain her father wasn't looking her way.

Sirius guffawed at this story and summed it all up, "So you and Draco got caught in a broom closet and his little girlfriend beat the stuffing out of you?"

Ginny was laughing so hard that tears were pouring down her face but she nodded at Sirius while Hermione steadfastly refused to look anyone in the eye.

"I don't know why you're all ganging up on me over this whole detention fiasco. Ronald somehow managed to get in trouble in the whole thing too."

"How did Ron get in trouble in that story?" Mr. Weasley finally spoke up from his chair where he had pretended to not hear Hermione's sordid tale.

Ginny jumped up, "Oo, I forgot to tell you in my letters. Little Ronnie here jumped to Hermione's defense when he heard the news."

Ron finally decided to join the conversation from the chair in the corner where he'd been stewing in anger since Ginny started it up.

"Excuse me for not immediately thinking that my best friend is a massive whore who just lets Slytherins do whatever they want."

"Do you mean to say that she let the Slytherins slither in?" George supplied.

Ron and Harry both gagged.

"That stupid Nott kid came running up to me right after it happened, telling me that I should go visit Hermione in the hospital wing because Pansy broke her nose. I asked him why Pansy would bother with Hermione at all since it was Sunday and the two of them had no reason to be anywhere near each other."

"It was a fair point," supplied Harry.

"The git giggled like a first year girl before he told me that she'd caught Hermione and Draco unclothed in a broom closet and I thought he was just starting shit."

"Ron…" Arthur cautioned.

"Fine. I thought he was just starting a rude rumor so I punched him."

"And then another Gryffindor went down to a Slytherin in a muggle battle of fists. Truly embarrassing for us all. And Ron, would you please quit calling my friend a whore? You do know the house knows what you and Lavender get up to in that corner, right?" Ginny sighed.

"You'd have never punched him if you would just learn to let stuff go, Ronald." Hermione commented.

"I can't believe I'm getting crap for defending you. I just thought there's no way you'd ever do anything with Malfoy, especially not when you know he's engaged."

"Malfoy is engaged?" Sirius asked, mouth open as he stared at Hermione.

"Not anymore," said Ginny. "Pansy announced to the entire Great Hall that the betrothal was off about a week later."

Everyone sat in silence for a moment before Ginny plowed on.

"That would explain why Hermione still disappears from our dorm room nearly every night."

"Ginny, I will kill you."

"I saw what Pansy did to you, I'll take my chances."

"You know," Hermione said in a weak attempt to change the subject. "I had thought the only good thing about having parents who literally don't remember you is that McGonagall can't send them letters ratting on you."

"That may be true," Remus said as he sipped his tea. "But she can still send letters to me."

"And me," Sirius announced.

"And me," Mr. Weasley said weakly.

"WHAT?" Hermione shouted as the boys, except for Ron, positively cackled at her despair.

"I think Professor McGonagall is just worried about you, Hermione. She seemed shocked at your behavior." Remus said reassuringly.

"Yeah, and Minnie definitely thought it was hilarious," Sirius noted. "But what I can't figure out is why you didn't use the map when you were having your dalliances with your Slytherin charity case."

"Oh!" Hermione said, latching on to something that could actually get the subject changed, "That's because Harry and Ginny were using it at the time."

"What map is this?" Arthur asked although he looked as though he didn't know if he actually wanted the answer.

Fred and George pulled their father to the side for a moment, chatting quietly enough no one else could hear them as Ginny and Harry tried to leave and were blocked by Hermione and Ron on one end and Remus and Sirius at the other.

"...But why would Harry and Ginny be using the map?" Arthur asked, finally raising his voice loud enough that everyone could hear.

"Dad…" George said while giving his father a knowing look.

Comprehension dawned on the horrified Weasley patriarch. He looked at the whole room with despair as he said, "There's not enough liquor in this house. There is simply not enough liquor in this house."

"Here, here," Sirius added from the couch where he was not so subtly giving his mortified godson a thumbs up.