February 15, 1999
"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she wears the same colors as me, but sometimes I think Hermione got mis-sorted," Ginny said while laughing so hard she was wheezing. "The twins would love to have her at the joke shop after graduation if she'd have it. Where does she come up with stuff like herpes that won't go away?"
Luna and Ginny found themselves alone at the Gryffindor table after Hermione went off with Professor McGonagall to help Pansy clear up the sores in her mouth.
"I thought it was mean, Ginny. Pansy is obviously embarrassed."
"She's the one who told the whole hall about them! Come on, Hermione didn't force her to do that."
"I suppose that's true."
"Plus, Pansy attacked her when she didn't have her wand. That was obviously an unfair fight, you can't exactly expect Hermione to take that without responding."
Luna looked around thoughtfully before responding, "Doesn't Pansy seem sad to you? She lost her betrothal contract and she's always seemed so lost to me. I tried to befriend her after the fight but she seemed to think it was some kind of prank."
"Pansy has never once seemed sad to me, Luna. In fact, she routinely appears more than happy to cause as much chaos and damage as she can. I have it on good authority that even the Slytherins are tired of her crap right now."
"All the more reason for her to be friends with me, but…" Luna shrugged. "I know Pansy likes to put on a show, but I have no idea why she let Hermione bait her like that. It's pretty obvious that Draco and Hermione aren't engaged."
"Is it obvious? You saw what finger that ring was on, right? I wasn't completely sure if it was real until Pansy started her fit, but if anyone knows rings, it's her. That is a giant diamond on our friend's hand."
"Draco and Hermione haven't been seen together except for that unfortunate business involving the broom closet, there is no way they'd announce an engagement like that. The ring was poorly disguised bait. I could have told her if she would have accepted my friend request."
Ginny slow-blinked at this observation, "I didn't think of all that. I suppose that makes sense, I never thought Hermione would get engaged while we were still in school. I can't make heads nor tails of her behavior recently though."
"We all went through a lot last year. I know I still have nightmares from the war and you're far jumpier than you were two years ago. We bear a lot of new scars but at least we still have our parents. It can't be easy for her."
"I know my mom and dad tried to talk to her this summer. She was polite and everything, but refused to talk to them about anything important. I can't say I was surprised, she's never been close with my dad and my mom can be a lot. I think she ended up putting down Remus as her guardian for school. They've always gotten along but even that's been cold since the war."
"It would probably help her a lot if she'd quit drinking so much."
"What are you talking about? I haven't noticed her drinking at all. If anything, Harry and Ron need to lay off on the weekends."
"She's got dabberblimps floating around her all the time," Luna said simply. "They feed off the sweat of those who frequently drink. They're also attracted to shiny bald heads, but I don't think that's relevant here."
"Maybe," Ginny said thoughtfully before she asked her next question. "You really don't think they're engaged?"
"Not to be married, no. But I do think they're engaged in routine acts of fornication."
After gagging at Luna's choice of words, Ginny carried on, "Yeah, she moved out of the dorm over a month ago now and will not fess up as to where she's sleeping."
"Is she not sleeping in the dungeons?"
"I have it on good authority that neither she nor Draco are sleeping in the dungeon."
"Did you learn that from your new friendship with Theodore? You guys make such cute friends. I still think Pansy and I would make cute friends too. Do you think she'll come around on my friendship proposal?"
"I don't know that I would get excited about that idea, Luna. Pansy can be really stuck up when she wants to be."
"Oh," Luna said while both girls stood up to head to their first class of the day.
"If they aren't sleeping in Gryffindor Tower or the dungeons, I don't see where they could be sleeping but they're both as well-rested as ever. I did think maybe they're in the Room of Requirement but I can't catch them."
"Oh, they haven't been in there. I've been doing my graduation project there in the evenings. A bunch of close-minded students made the library untenable for me so I moved into the Room of Requirement. It's an upgrade really because I can spread out there."
"I haven't even started my final project yet, what's yours?" Ginny asked as they turned into the corridor.
"Oh, I'm tracking the movements of the Loch Ness Monster so I can introduce him to the giant squid."
"That's a very ambitious project, Luna. Is it going well?"
"Not as well as I'd like. The giant squid was positively against the idea the last time I broached the subject with him."
"I guess that makes sense," Ginny said while trying to hide her far too wide open eyes.
"Yes, it was to be expected. So what else did you learn from Theodore?"
"Not much to be honest, I think he's getting more from me than I am from him most of the time." Ginny sighed. "I just can't figure out why Hermione and Draco are keeping their relationship quiet after Pansy caught them. We all know."
"They probably keep it quiet for the same reason they hid their relationship during the year before the war."
Ginny stopped in the middle of the hallway as her jaw dropped so hard she thought she might need to get it reset by Madam Pomfrey.
"What are you talking about?"
Luna stopped and faced her friend as the rest of the school dispersed to their respective locations, "Oh, yes, they were apparently in a relationship before that terrible night at the astronomy tower."
"How do you know that?" Ginny asked as she tried to recall as much of her fifth year as she could.
"Yeah, you probably would've caught on to them sneaking around but you were a bit busy dating all the boys in your brother's dorm."
"I only dated two of his dorm mates."
"Two for four," Luna clarified. "And Seamus and Neville both like guys so really it's two for two."
Ginny blushed at her friend's blunt assessment of her dating history, "Okay so what did you catch them doing?"
"I never actually caught them, but I suspected something was up when both the virgo and gemini horoscopes kept talking about secrets."
"Luna, you thought Draco and Hermione were dating because of their horoscopes? How do you even know what their signs are?"
"Oh, I know everyone's sign."
This obviously made complete sense to Ginny as she replied, "Cool. What does my horoscope say today?"
"You should keep up with your birth control."
"My horoscope says that?"
"No, but your family history does."
Ginny glared at her well-meaning friend as Luna continued, "I knew my hunch about the secret relationship was correct when I overheard Draco and Hermione talking in an empty compartment on the train at the beginning of this year."
"You eavesdropper!" Ginny exclaimed as she inched closer to her friend.
"I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I noticed there were a lot of nargles in that compartment so I decided to climb into the luggage area and clear them out. I suppose the couple missed me because they entered in a hurry while they were pulling at each other's clothes violently."
Ginny put her fist in her mouth to muffle the excited noises she was making.
"Hermione pulled away first and told him she didn't think this was a good idea anymore. Draco pointed out that both of them had held up their end of the bargain. Apparently, the only promises they had made to each other before their break was to stay alive."
"...Wow." Ginny said softly. "So they got back together at the beginning of the year?"
"No, Hermione said she didn't know if they could just pick up where they left off. Too much has changed for her, I suppose. Draco said he'd rather die than see her with anyone else."
"I didn't know he liked anyone that much."
"I agree and you know he doesn't get enough credit for how dramatic he is."
"Merlin! That's so romantic though. No wonder Hermione found herself in that broom cupboard. If Harry told me something like that, I'd jump him so fast."
"Hence the birth control."
"Yes, thank you. Okay, so they didn't get together even after he said that?"
"No, but they agreed to not date anyone else."
"But Draco broke that promise, didn't he? What was that business with Pansy?"
"Draco claims that his dad set that up during the war without consulting Draco. Draco's been looking to get out of it since he found out about it."
"He said all that in the compartment too?"
"Oh, no. I learned that when I was trapped in the potions storage area on Hermione's birthday."
Ginny didn't even try to hide her excitement at this point when she asked, "How were you trapped?"
"You know how Slughorn basically made a maze with the bookshelves back there?"
"Don't tell me you got trapped in one of the dead ends and…"
"It would have been quite rude to excuse myself by the time I figured out what was happening."
"Luna, I could kiss you right now."
"We can do that later if you'd like, but I don't think this is the place for all that."
Ginny giggled, "What all happened in the potions storage area?"
"He asked her why she won't respond to his messages and she told him she didn't want to talk to him since he's engaged. He told her he didn't set it up and wanted a way out of it, he just needed Hermione to talk to him."
"This is crazy! He actually loves her. I thought this was just hate sex."
"I don't want to get into the details of what I overheard at another point, but I think that's how the whole affair started."
"I knew it."
"You didn't know any of this thirty minutes ago."
"Fine. Was that all that happened?"
"Just about. Draco also tried to give Hermione a gift that she refused to accept. She was really upset with him. She told him to get out of his betrothal and try again later."
"I guess she changed her tune at some point."
"Draco was adamant that there was a loophole. They must have used it."
Ginny scoffed, "What was the loophole? If you don't do it in a bed, it doesn't count?"
"I somehow doubt that was the loophole, but Hagrid is gonna be really cross with us if we don't get to class soon."
