June 30, 1999

"This is so boring," Theo moaned around an annoyed Ernie MacMillan to Draco who was adamantly ignoring Theo's relentless attempts to get his attention as the graduating class stood in line to get their diplomas.

Ernie finally spoke up after Theo's sixteenth attempt, "Mate, would you please just make this guy shut up?"

"MacMillan, if I knew how to make him shut up, my whole life would be a lot easier right now."

Theo's voice carried across the Quidditch pitch that was being utilized for their graduation ceremony, "I'm not the problem in your life right now and we both know it!"

The boys each took a swig from the flask Seamus Finnegan was sharing with the group and completely missed Narcissa Malfoy walking up.

"This would be a lot better if someone else here had your last name, Draco. I bet she would talk to me. Wait, is she going to take your last name?"

"Is who going to take Draco's last name?"

Draco stared up at the sky and groaned gutterally before he turned around to face his mother. He met her eyes and said, "Hermione."

"So you are engaged! I can't say I'm impressed that you two lied to me about that."

"Oh," Theo's whole face lit up as he realized the havoc that could be wreaked in this situation. He adopted his best theater voice to ensure that the conversation would carry. "They didn't lie, Narcissa. They weren't engaged then because they were already… Ow! Draco, you and Severus have got to quit using that stinging hex in the same place over and over again. It fucking hurts."

"Mother, I was going to tell you this after the ceremony, but since we're all here now," Draco stared daggers at Theo, "You should know that Hermione and I are married."

"No, you're not," Narcissa said simply.

"Okay?"

"You can't be married without a proper binding ceremony which requires at least one of your parents and since I'm the only parent between the two of you, you are not married."

As he quit limping, Theo chimed in, "Did you know that you only need a witness to get muggle married? They don't have to be related or anything. You can pick up any old Chosen One off the streets and use him."

Walking over from his spot right in front of Draco, Luna joined the group with a, "Oh, is that what's been different between you and Hermione? An un-bonded marriage makes so much sense. I should have guessed."

"Wait, Hermione and… Draco are married?" Neville gasped as his mind tried to wrap around the news.

"Merlin! This is so exciting! Is she pregnant too?" Daphne Greengrass shouted out as more and more of their classmates clustered to the middle of the line to join the excitement.

"Is who pregnant?" Hermione asked, not sure if she wanted the answer.

"You, silly!"

Hermione looked around at the crowd before crossing her arms and asking indignantly, "Why would you think I'm pregnant?"

"It's a common misconception that young marriages only start because there's a child on the way," Luna stated flatly.

Draco put his arm around Hermione in their first show of any public affection and whispered in her ear before her face turned bright red and she said, "Oh, Mrs. Malfoy, I…"

The whispers around the couple and his mother only grew louder before Narcissa said, "Oh dear, I think we'll have plenty of time to discuss how we got here after my son and I have a private chat."

Theo had used the time it took Hermione to catch up to pull Pansy to the side. They spoke quietly amongst themselves until she shrieked, "THEY DID WHAT? WHEN? SHE'S PREGNANT, ISN'T SHE? I KNEW IT."

Narcissa Malfoy's head turned quickly from her son to where Pansy was being restrained by Daphne and Millicent back to her son. "Hold up, when did you supposedly get married?"

As Theo sauntered back to the main group, he taunted, "Yeah, when did you two make it official?"

Draco looked pleadingly at his wife who nodded her head ever-so-slightly. Taking this as an indication that he was free to tell the whole story, Draco stated, "We got married on Halloween in muggle London, Mother."

Cackling, Theo shouted so the whole crowd could hear, "For those of you keeping track at home, that means that the scene with the broom closet was them on their honeymoon. I have been dying to share that little tidbit with everyone."

"What do you mean you've 'been waiting'? Theodore, how long have you known about this?" Narcissa's biting tone sobered Theo's mood as soon as he was able to catch his breath.

"Yeah, Theodore, when did you learn about this?" Draco asked as the tables turned in his favor for just a moment.

Unfortunately for Draco, that moment was short-lived as Pansy Parkinson freed herself from her friends and asked, "Hold up, you broke off the betrothal before I did? That's embarrassing, Draco. How could you?"

"That's what you find embarrassing in your life?" Theo's exasperated tone caused Pansy to shove him into Ron Weasley who had been turned the other way while in a bitter dispute of his own with his sister.

"What the fuck, Nott?" Ron asked as he shoved Theo back. Theo was held back by Draco and Ron was restrained by Harry, who had finally joined the group when he saw what was happening from where he had been speaking with Sirius.

The skirmish officially ended when Severus Snape's, "Boys, that's enough," caused the group to fall silent and still.

Narcissa pulled Snape to the side, but the entire crowd was able to hear her hiss, "Did you know that Draco got married on Halloween?"

"He did what now?"

"He got married to Hermione and I'm just so proud of them," Theo shouted at them as though they hadn't moved away. "If I were a betting man, I'd have given them six months or less but look at them, they're living the dream."

Draco glared silently at Theo before Hermione said, "Theo, shut up already."

Theo's eyebrows shot up and he continued using his theater voice, "Whoa! That's enough of that sexy talk. I already told both of you I'd be your third."

The crowd burst into laughter as Ron turned green.

"So Hermione is pregnant?" Blaise asked in a tone that was a little too excited. "It would be pretty great if our kids got to grow up together."

Before Hermione could open her mouth to answer, Severus Snape snapped completely. "You imbeciles had better shut up and get in line so you can leave this place so that I can leave this place. This entire year has been a complete nightmare and I blame each of you for that. Mr. Nott, I blame you twice."