July 3, 1999
"Okay, but what I'm saying is Becky definitely misses me."
"How are you even sure her name was Becky? How do you know she didn't give you a false name or that you just don't remember?" Draco reasoned with Theo while Blaise was pouring four shots.
"Becky would never have lied to me. Our connection was deeper than that."
Blaise gagged, "No one wants to hear about your connection with anyone, Theo. Draco and I already know far more about you and your conquests than we ever wanted to."
"Hear, hear," Draco grinned as the four boys clinked their shots and started Blaise's stag party off right.
"I don't mean to be rude," Theo started.
"And yet you manage it just fine," Blaise finished.
"But what the fuck is this bastard doing here? Hasn't he done enough damage in our lives?"
Harry's response was quick. "What damage did I do to you?"
"You helped my friend here get married without his actual friends. Should have you strung up in the dungeons for that."
"If it makes you feel any better, I hated that. I really hate it now because it turns out, they lied to me."
Draco snorted into his glass of mulled mead, "Yeah, that part was my idea. Hermione insisted you were the guy for the job since you have some experience in the muggle world and wouldn't embarrass us too badly. I told her we'd have to lie to get you to go along with it, and she actually did it. I love that girl so much."
"He loves her like I love Becky," Theo mused.
"Theo, Becky doesn't even remember you and you're only moaning like this because Lucy dumped you yesterday."
"Lucy was the one."
"Again, she dumped you yesterday and today you're trying to find Becky so I don't think Lucy was the one."
"Who are Becky and Lucy?" Harry asked as the boys made their way to the poker table.
"Oh, Becky is the reason why Daphne said Theo can come to the stag party as long as we promise not to leave Nott Manor." Blaise poked at his friend good naturedly. "And Lucy is the reason Theo learned that Draco here is legally entangled with the lovely Hermione."
"Daphne was being so unreasonable with her requests. She was all, 'Theo cannot solicit prostitutes, light fires at local businesses or get high in public.'" Theo made a disgusted face as he listed all the things the oldest Greengrass girl had banned at their get together. "By the end of her rant, I told her we should just stay home if we aren't allowed to do anything fun and she agreed. I've got to learn to shut up sometimes."
"I'll drink to that!" Draco shouted as he found the bar cart.
"Hear, hear!" Blaise agreed.
As the boys finished another round of shots, Theo looked at Harry and asked, "Blaise, you never answered my question. Why is this guy here?"
"Would your head explode if you didn't know something, Theo?" Blaise's smirk caused Theo to throw a minor stinging hex his way. "Whoa! Narcissa made it very clear that you and Draco aren't allowed to hex people anymore."
"Actually, what the elder Mrs. Malfoy said was, and I quote, 'If I hear that you two are hexing or threatening each other again, I will have both of you disinherited.' I didn't even know I had inheritance from the Malfoys. I love the idea that only child Draco has to share something for once."
Draco shuffled the cards for the poker game he was trying to get going as he said, "Theo, I made sure all the heirlooms with curses we can't break ended up in your share."
Harry nodded at all of this before asking, "Oh, so Narcissa Malfoy is the reason you two aren't screaming at each other? Graduation was kind of intense."
"Yes." Draco answered simply.
"I guess that happened before your graduation party at The Hog's Head?"
"Yes, while my wife was visiting with you." Draco knew his choice of words wasn't lost on his old enemy as Harry flinched.
Blaise smiled as he thought about the event the prior evening. "Man, that was the best and worst graduation party I've ever been to. I didn't realize how many of Granger's circle were certifiable. No offense, Harry."
"None taken," Harry replied as he thought about his girlfriend's mom dissolving into hysterics after Hermione informed everyone that she was leaving for France with no firm return date.
Theo sobered momentarily before he found Blaise again, "Is it that The Chosen One gets to pick whichever parties he gets to go without being formally invited? Is that how this happened?"
"Theo, shut up. It's my stag party and I can invite whomever I'd like."
"When did all of you start liking the lions so much? I miss the good ol' days," Theo whined.
"I can't speak for Draco, but I found I had a lot in common with the lions when I overheard this one telling Longbottom that his friends are idiots these days."
Draco and Theo simultaneously put their right hands to their chest and donned matching faces of mock outrage.
"So this has been happening for a while!" Theo gasped.
"Since before Christmas." Harry stated while grinning at the faces of Blaise's oldest friends whose mock outrage had been replaced by genuine shock.
"Picked up in earnest around the time that one of you found yourself doing a full-time job in detention with Snape and the other one disappeared mysteriously."
"It was quite the mystery, wasn't it?" Harry asked as he picked up his cards.
"I've actually known about the marriage since January when The Boy Who Can't Keep A Secret told me." Blaise watched Theo's face as he ran the timeline and realized that Blaise knew first.
"You don't get a prize for knowing first," Theo made a horrified facial expression that could have been caused by his bad cards or from the realization that Blaise had known before him. "I already asked."
Grinning smugly at the scene, Harry said, "You wouldn't have gotten it anyway. I knew before it even happened."
"It doesn't count," the Slytherin boys said in unison.
"Great, I got lied to and it doesn't even count as knowing first."
"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't love the lie she picked."
"That actually doesn't make me feel better, Malfoy."
"Do tell, what did the lovely Ms. Granger tell Potter here to get him to sign a marriage license for you two idiots?" Theo's mood had brightened considerably as the conversation shifted.
"Oh, she told me that she and Draco had been sleeping together since the beginning of the year and she thought she was pregnant."
"A tale as old as time," Theo mused. "Pansy and Hermione have more in common than I thought."
"Like I'm not adept at contraceptive spells."
"Don't be insensitive, Draco. Some of us here obviously struggle with those charms."
"Hey!" Blaise objected.
"It's a little late for denials now," Draco chuckled at Blaise's red face.
"Plus, Granger couldn't have been pregnant then anyway. That witch made me wait till the wedding once she found out about the betrothal."
"There is no need to lie here, Draco." Both of the other Slytherin boys' eyebrows were raised as high as they could go before Theo continued, "We heard what we heard."
"Yeah..." Blaise said under his breath as play picked back up.
"You heard all that because we weren't doing anything. I know how to throw up a silencing charm."
"There was so much panting though." Theo looked genuinely horrified at the memory.
"From the laughter!" Draco shouted.
Harry put his head on the table as the laughter overtook all of them.
"Swear on Salazar's grave, I never had sex in our dorm room unless it was empty. Some of us can't make that assurance, can we? I remember our fifth year."
"You cannot shame those who do not care." Theo stated simply.
Blaise nodded in agreement, "I can't blame him for that one. If a Ravenclaw girl wants to climb in my bed and do the things that seventh year was clearly willing to do, I wouldn't have said no either."
"Older women just know things, you know?" Theo winked at Draco pointedly.
"Quit talking about my mom," Draco snarled.
"Not everything is about you, Draco." Theo's innocent tone caused Draco to throw an ice cube from his drink in Theo's direction.
Blaise noticed Harry's wide eyes and muttered, "Theo's never done anything with Narcissa. This is just one of his bits."
"Not yet! But every year that Lucius leaves that wonderful woman's bed cold, I get a little closer. Wonder what that would do to the inheritance situation."
