so i wanted to write something with upstead hurt/comfort but i also wanted some protective!jay so this was born. do i think this is actually what's gonna happen in 9x22? nope. but i had fun writing it anyway. enjoy :)
also, thank you thank you thank you to mandy (JanieOhio) for beta reading this for me! i'll write you some drarry to make up for you branching into the cpd fandom *mwah*
.: Aftermath :.
Hailey kept a hand pressed to her side as she pushed herself up onto the desk, a sharp exhale the only sign of her complete discomfort. She'd prefer a chair—or, hell, her bed—but she had a feeling if she got too comfortable, she'd be even more useless than she already was with her bruised ribs and pounding headache.
She looked around the wire-room at the whiteboards full of pictures and sighed. Everything had gone so completely south.
They were waiting on Voight, but everyone else milled around. Kevin and Kim were in the next room checking on the other wires they'd placed on Escano, and Adam was slouched in one of the office chairs with his hand pressed to his eyes, a blank incident report on the desk in front of him. Anna was there too, and after her initial wide-eyed, angry look at their whiteboards, she'd tucked herself into the corner with a scowl, her arms crossed and her hands fisted in her blue puffer jacket.
The only person Hailey wanted to be around right now was her husband, so it was a good thing he hadn't left her side since she'd opened her eyes on that pavement, smoke pluming around her and her ears ringing.
Hailey's ears were still ringing, the cut on her cheek burned dully, and every time she breathed, her ribs protested. But Jay's hand on her thigh was a welcome, steadying weight, and he kept her grounded.
His touch had been the first thing she'd been aware of after the explosion. She'd thought it would be the pain, the confusion, but it had been him. Sure, those feelings had flooded her system soon after, but it had all faded into the background when he'd pressed his forehead into hers, breathed her name into the space between their lips, and rested a hand over her pounding heart.
He'd sat pressed against her on the tailgate of the ambulance, his hand either linked with hers or a warm weight on her back as the paramedics looked her over. When she'd refused a hospital visit, he'd tried to talk her into it anyway. She loved him for it, but she was fine. She'd had bruised ribs too many times before, and the hospital wouldn't tell her anything she didn't already know—take it easy and wait. Rest.
Hailey didn't do too good with resting and waiting and taking it easy.
She shifted on the table and grimaced. She squeezed Jay's hand involuntarily, the one he had on her thigh, and he immediately stepped further into her space. All thoughts of workplace boundaries had burned up with that van, so Hailey let herself lean into him in the quiet of the wire-room.
Jay was warm and comforting, even if he did still smell like smoke.
"This sucks," she murmured into his shoulder. She tilted her head to look up at him but didn't move away. His green eyes were pinched in concern, and he still had a smear of soot near his hairline, almost indistinguishable from his freckles.
"We can go home," he whispered back. He leaned away slightly and flicked his eyes over her face, his grip on her thigh tightening. "You just got blown up; you can take a beat."
Shadows danced behind his eyes, painful memories from years ago that Hailey knew had been catapulted to the forefront of his mind. She grabbed the flap of his unzipped jacket and tugged him closer. He swayed into her a bit, his thigh bumping into the outside of hers, before he braced a hand on the desk next to her and leaned his hip against the wood.
"Do you wanna go home?" she asked quietly.
He shook his head, and the hand he had braced next to her shifted closer. Emotions flickered across his face, too many even for her trained eye to single out and put names to. He hung his head and looked up at her through his lashes. She barely heard him when he spoke next. "Hails…I wanna be wherever you are, and if that's here, okay. If it's home, okay."
Hailey let go of his jacket and pressed her hand to his abdomen instead, curling her fingers around his side, but before she could respond, Kevin and Kim entered the room, talking lowly to each other and drawing her and Jay's attention. Jay straightened a bit, but Hailey grabbed his jacket again before he could move too far away.
She watched Kim hand Anna a steaming cup of coffee before walking over to Adam and placing a hand on his shoulder. Kevin eyed Hailey and Jay as he dropped a manila folder to one of the other desks with a quiet smack and leaned back against it. He whistled through his teeth and said, "You look like hell, girl."
Hailey snorted. "Thanks, Kev."
"You and your man are shit magnets," he added.
"Tell me about it," Hailey gruffed. Her grin up at Jay felt halfway genuine for the first time in hours. "I think I inherited his bad luck when I married him."
"Oh, was that all you got?" Jay murmured.
Their teasing chased some of those shadows from his eyes, but he still looked far too troubled for her liking. She wanted to reach up and smooth the tension from his jaw with her fingertips, wanted to wrap herself around him and press kisses into his freckled skin until his shoulders unwound, but they had a job to do.
She was, frankly, exhausted, and Jay's offer to pack it all in and go home actually sounded like something akin to heaven. A glance at Anna, though, had Hailey's resolve to stay and work strengthening. Anna hadn't drank any of the coffee Kim had handed her, and there was a haunting vacancy in the woman's eyes that Hailey was painfully familiar with.
She couldn't go home until this was finished, until this case was in the ASA's hands and the information on their whiteboards was packed away in file boxes.
Hailey looked back up at her husband, and his same question from earlier lingered in his eyes. Did she want to go home? Hailey bit her bottom lip, and he must have read the surety in her eyes because he swiped his thumb over her thigh and nodded. "I know," he said.
"But let's take, like, two weeks off after this," she breathed, wrapping her hand around his bicep and holding tight. "Get out of the city and shut off our phones. We can go to the cabin, maybe."
His answering smile was soft, subdued, and his shoulders relaxed a margin at her words. The love shining from his green eyes had Hailey's breath hitching for reasons other than her bruised ribs.
"I love all of that," he whispered, mindful of their audience.
Hailey heard the unspoken in his statement, the "I love you" he didn't need to say. She loved that he kept those three words just for them; it made them feel more special. But Hailey's own feelings bubbled up, so she leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest.
He held her tight, so tight it was semi-painful on her ribs, but Hailey didn't pull away. When Jay eventually loosened his grip, it felt too soon for her liking, but Voight had just descended the stairs.
Flipping back into work-mode felt impossible, but she forced herself to straighten and focus. She mourned the loss of Jay's hand on her thigh, though. Thankfully, he boosted himself up onto the desk next to her and pressed their legs together, leaned his shoulder into hers.
Voight hovered in the door frame, and his eyes lingered on Anna. The woman stared him down, and Voight eventually looked away, his jaw twitching.
"You two okay?" He gestured to Hailey and Jay.
She nodded, and Jay's low, "We'll live," satisfied their sergeant.
"Where are we?" Voight asked.
"All our wires are down, Sarge," Kevin said, kicking them off. "Our trackers, too."
Voight stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked at their whiteboards. They were essentially screwed, and they all knew it. Despite their months of work, everything they had on Escano was circumstantial, and there were only a few avenues they had left to travel. It didn't help that Escano would be locking everything down tight and cutting off his loose ends.
"Escano's burnin' it all down," Voight gruffed. He shook his head a few times and looked around their assembled group, lingering on Anna again, who had set down her coffee and recrossed her arms. Her expression was blank, but anger hid behind her eyes. Hailey didn't blame her for it.
"Let's take this off-book," Voight decided, wearily waving his hand like this was their only option. "We can—"
"Let's not," Jay interrupted. Hailey looked over at him, and the urge to smooth away his tension overwhelmed her again. "Let's stay on book."
"Jay…" Voight shook his head some more, his brows hiking as he crossed his arms. Hailey hated the condescension in his voice when he continued. "If we're gonna catch him, we have to play his game—think like him."
"Yeah, think like him," Jay repeated. "We don't need to act like him."
Hailey pressed her knee harder into his, hoping she was a grounding weight. Emotions were running high, and she didn't want Voight getting any more riled than what his eyes already promised.
She knew where Jay's mind was—the same place hers had gone. A sliver of shame still slithered down Hailey's spine whenever Roy Walton was dredged up, but she forced herself to feel it, to analyze how it made her heart race, and then set it aside.
"We'll play our own game," Jay continued. He pressed his knee back into hers, and she drew strength from it, her heartbeat slowing slightly. "And we'll get him, Sarge."
Voight had already uncrossed his arms and stepped towards her and Jay. Jay lurched to his own feet, but all he did was take one step in Voight's direction. One step around her, so he was standing between her and their sergeant. Jay didn't block her view of the team or cut her off from the room, and she wasn't at all worried about Voight coming at her, but her husband's body was a solid obstacle anyway.
It was such a small thing, Hailey thought. So small, Jay probably didn't even realize he'd done it. And even though it was largely unnecessary, it had her heartbeat finally returning to normal.
"This is me telling you you're about to go off the deep end," Jay said. "We're done with that."
Voight puffed a breath of annoyed air through his nose. "We're gonna get Escano, one way or the other, Jay."
"Do I need to remind you what happened last time you went off-book?" Jay asked, voice hard.
The wire-room was dead silent. Kim and Adam traded glances, and Kevin bit his lip, fiddling with the folder in his hands. All three of them were eyeing Jay and Voight like another bomb was about to go off, and the tension in the air hit Hailey as though she'd been doused in it.
"Careful," Voight eventually said.
"No, you be careful, because we're not doing this again." Jay flung his right hand wide, and Hailey had to stop herself from reaching for the hand closest to her. "You think I want Escano on the streets? Hailey could've fucking died because of him. But I'm all out of lies for you, Hank."
Voight narrowed his eyes but said nothing.
"We get him the right way, or we get him another day."
She leaned back on her left hand, and though the position had her pressing her other hand to her smarting ribs, it let her get a better look at Jay. His green eyes were hard, determined. God, she loved him. And he truly was the best man she'd ever known.
Voight's eventual acquiescence and retreat back up the stairs felt like background noise to Hailey. She'd vaguely heard him say he'd be back in a minute, but she focused on her husband.
"What the hell are you guys gonna do?" Anna blurted, breaking the silence and speaking for the first time since she'd entered the room.
Jay looked over his shoulder at Hailey and held her gaze. She bumped her boot into the back of his leg, and he nodded. Jay turned to the team. "Let's figure it out."
thanks for reading!
