the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break

by Rose Thorne

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with The Untamed, and make no money writing fanfiction.


Chapter Fifteen

Wei Ying's words only seem to echo in the courtyard, their gravity giving them weight that feeds the illusion. The Jiang siblings stare at him, looking concerned but puzzled.

"But you found her," Jiang Wanyin says slowly. "She restored my core."

"I never found her," Wei Ying says, looking at his bowl on the table rather than his brother. "I didn't know what to do, A-Cheng—you wanted to die!"

The words are said in a rush, with remembered grief. For once, Jiang Wanyin seems struck dumb, and Lan Wangji is glad of it—Wei Ying needs no interruptions. Already his posture is defensive.

"I looked for a way. Went through Wen Qing's whole library. And I found a theory."

His voice breaks at the last word, and Lan Wangji squeezes his hand, letting Wei Ying know he is here for him. He knows this reminds his husband of the decision he made, to what for most would seem like an impossible choice.

"A-Xian, what theory?"

Jiang Yanli, despite her makeup, looks wan and afraid.

"In her papers. Treatments she'd theorized," Wei Ying clarifies. "It was the only place I found any options. And I didn't know what else to do."

He's stalling, but inadvertently drawing out the pain. Lan Wangji squeezes his hand again, unable to resist the urge to comfort him.

Zidian sparks and Jiang Wanyin glares, his patience spent.

"What did you do?" he hisses.

Lan Wangji is fairly certain they've already realized and are hoping they're wrong. He rubs the back of Wei Ying's hand with his thumb.

"It was a theory about core transplants," Wei Ying says.

The shifting of emotions on Jiang Wanyin's face makes his understanding clear. Jiang Yanli's brows furrow, her expression one of confusion.

"Tell me you didn't," he hissed. "Please tell me you didn't."

Wei Ying flinches—he can tell him no such thing, at least not without lying, because he did. Instead he silently holds his free wrist out to Jiang Wanyin, as he had only days before with Xichen, inviting him to see the truth himself.

The Jiang sect leader recoils, physically leaving his seat and backing from the table, his face a mask of horror.

"No," he whispers, his voice hoarse.

And so it is Jiang Yanli who reaches forward, sends her qi through Wei Ying's meridians, and finds the emptiness where his core once sat. Lan Wangji can tell the moment she realizes, as tears spill over, cutting furrows in her makeup.

Wei Ying immediately panics, pulling his hand from Lan Wangji's grip, dabbing at her face with his sleeves.

"Shijie, you'll ruin your dress. It's okay, don't cry."

"It's just a dress," she says, her voice hitching. "And it's not okay, Xianxian. Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you let us help you? You've been suffering for so long and…"

She lets out a sob so deep it seems like it comes from her soul. Wei Ying lets out a little distressed noise, his hands fluttering helplessly, as though he wants to hug her but fears sullying her wedding dress.

"Wei Wuxian, why?" Jiang Wanyin asks, his chest heaving as he fights his emotions. "I didn't ask you to do that!"

He's still standing backed away from the table, unwilling or unable to come closer.

"You wanted to die," Wei Ying says helplessly. "You said if you couldn't avenge Lotus Pier alive or dead you'd rather be dead. You're my brother—what else could I have done?"

Lan Wangji knows there is more, implied—after losing so much, how could Wei Ying stand to lose his brother? How much family could he stand to lose, losing his parents young, and then his entire martial family with the fall of Lotus Pier?

"I'd rather lose my golden core than that," he finally whispers. "You could rebuild the sect with my core."

"You could've rebuilt the sect with your core," Jiang Wanyin retorts with a scowl.

Wei Ying smiles, but it's a twisted, broken thing.

"No. I've always been whatever the gentry decides I am: the worthless son of a servant overreaching, sect leader's secret bastard, weapon of war, and now Yiling Laozu. No one would accept me rebuilding the Jiang sect, even without the demonic cultivation, A-Cheng. I'd be a usurper at best, never taken seriously."

"You would've proved them all wrong!" Jiang Wanyin protests.

Wei Ying shakes his head.

"Nothing will ever be enough. I'd never be able to restore the Jiang sect to its full glory. Only you could do that, A-Cheng."

"He is correct," Lan Wangji interjects when it looks like Jiang Wanyin might argue over it. "They have never accepted him, even after he helped win the war. Wei Ying has never been thanked or shown respect, only belittled and vilified. He would never have been permitted to be sect leader."

Jiang Wanyin frowns at that but doesn't try to argue. He cannot deny the truth.

"If they knew I took you to Wen Qing and you had died in her care, they'd say I killed you myself for power, that I worked with the Wens to destroy Lotus Pier, even. I'd have been executed, and shijie would be all alone and without a sect."

There's a touch of bitterness in his husband's voice, and Lan Wangji touches his elbow, just to remind him he is there for him.

"Lotus Pier was my fault, so I guess they'd be part right," Wei Ying mutters, the naked grief in his voice heart-wrenching.

Lan Wangji wonders if perhaps Wei Ying's difficulty after the war was being in a place filled, at least metaphorically, with the ghosts of those for whose deaths he felt responsible. He had, by his own admission to Xichen, spent much of the time following the war drunk, until he liberated the work camp, using it as a way of coping with his trauma—from the fall of Lotus Pier, from the surgery, from Burial Mounds, from the resentful energy, from the war… All of it.

Perhaps rescuing these people has been his way of trying to even the scales on a debt that isn't truly his.

"A-Xian, it wasn't your fault. They were always going to attack Lotus Pier," Jiang Yanli protests. "A-Niang would never have tolerated a supervisory office in our home."

She's still crying, and Wei Ying mops at her face so her tears won't ruin her dress. Her eyes seem to search his face, desperate for a sign he believes her.

"It was never your fault," she insists.

Wei Ying swallows hard.

"Madam Yu said—"

"A-Niang was wrong," Jiang Wanyin snarls.

"And I know a-die told you to protect us, but who was going to protect you?" Jiang Yanli asks.

When he avoids her gaze, she reaches forward to cup his cheek.

"We didn't protect you. You'd been whipped with zidian and lost your home, too, but you're the one who took care of us. No one took care of you, but you're our brother, my sweet didi."

Wei Ying's breath hitches, and instinctively Lan Wangji pulls him close, holds him from behind gently, hopes he can take strength from the embrace. It's not a full embrace, the position awkward, more of a press of chest against back, his hand a light pressure on his hip, but it seems to help, regardless. It takes a few moments for Wei Ying to compose himself enough that he is willing to release him, and during that time Lan Wangji avoids looking at his siblings, not wishing to see their reactions.

A-Yuan is abruptly tugging on Wei Ying's robes.

"A-Die sad? A-Die need a hug?"

Somehow Wei Ying manages a smile for the boy and pulls him up on his lap.

"Ah, my sweet son. That's exactly what a-die needs."

The child is happy to oblige, and then he lets Wen Ning take him back.

"You told him to call me guma, not shigu," Jiang Yanli points out softly. "A-Cheng called him zhizi, not shizhi. And you told him to call A-Cheng shushu, not shishu. You know you're our brother."

She sounds almost forlorn, a sharp contrast from her fire when she claimed him as her didi on Phoenix Mountain to Jin Zixun.

Jiang Wanyin takes a step toward the table.

"Lotus Pier is rebuilt, and so is the Jiang sect," he interjects. "You're coming back. I'm giving it back. We'll undo it."

The offer is startling, something Lan Wangji didn't expect from him, and the soft gasp from Wei Ying tells him it is a surprise to him as well. Wei Ying shakes his head.

"I don't think it's possible," he says tiredly.

"Why the hell not?!"

He seems almost affronted by the rejection. Lan Wangji can feel Wei Ying shiver, knows he's struggling. His husband has had to have so many difficult conversations in quick succession, and this one is the hardest so far. And the offer to return the golden core seems to have thrown him.

"Scarring," Lan Wangji answers for him, remembering Wen Qing's words.

Silence reigns for a moment, the Jiang siblings looking upset, clearly wanting more detail.

Wei Ying speaks haltingly, tells the tale he hasn't told Lan Wangji, of being caught in the tea house in Yiling, of trying to escape, of Wen Zhuliu punching him right in the lower dantian, his stitches tearing at the impact. Of being beaten by Wen Chao's men and burned by Wang Lingjiao.

"I had to get them to leave Yiling," he said. "If they caught you coming down the mountain, it would've all been for nothing. I thought they'd toss me in a cell in Qishan. I didn't expect Burial Mounds."

Much of the rest of the story is the same as he told Xichen, this part having been omitted before likely to avoid having to talk about the Core-Melting Hand. This time, though, he also talks about the sword from the Xuanwu cave, the one filled with resentful energy, how it helped him survive Burial Mounds, that he crafted the seal from it during the war to help win it. Not, as the rumors suggested, from Xue Yang's still-missing piece.

Much of this is new information to Lan Wangji, painting an even clearer picture of how incredibly impossible the odds were against Wei Ying's survival.

Wei Ying continues to dab at his sister's face with his sleeve as he talks, keeping her makeup from running onto her dress as she cries. In the quiet that follows, her soft crying seems to echo in the courtyard.

A-Yuan vocalizes that she needs a hug, and Wen Ning murmurs softly about her special dress that needs to be kept clean.

"Later," Wen Ning says, and A-Yuan is assuaged.

Jiang Wanyin has, during the course of the telling, returned to the table to sit heavily. The customary pinched expression normally on his face is gone, his anger drained away for the moment.

"All those times I harassed you about your sword, about carrying it and polishing it," Jiang Wanyin whispers, his voice choked.

"It's too heavy for me to wield for more than a minute or so," Wei Ying says hollowly. "Even to polish it."

He had taken joy in his cultivation and even having given it up willingly, Lan Wangji knows it's still something that hurts him deeply. He himself remembers the joy of crossing swords with him on the rooftop, what feels like a lifetime ago now. Bittersweet, never to happen again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jiang Wanyin finally asks. "You convinced me to expel you from the sect, dammit. Why would you tell Lan Wangji and not us? After he wanted to take you back to Gusu for punishment!"

"He did not tell me until I discovered his golden core was missing," Lan Wangji says.

Wei Ying is guiltless in that, and he will not let him be blamed.

"I wished to take him to Gusu for protection and healing, not punishment," he adds.

Lan Wangji could see, throughout the war, that Wei Ying was suffering, that something was wrong, had wanted desperately to help him. He wonders if Jiang Wanyin is partly behind Wei Ying's misconceptions about that, and tries not to be peeved—how much heartache could have been prevented?

"Wei-g-gongzi did not intend to t-tell anyone," Wen Ning contributes.

His voice is sad, with a hint of disapproval for Wei Ying's decision to withhold it. A-Yuan seems to decide he, too, needs a hug, throwing his arms around the fierce corpse's neck.

"Then how do you know?" Jiang Wanyin demands.

"Wen Ning assisted Wen Qing with the core transplant," Wei Ying says before Wen Ning can answer. "They were the only people who knew, until Lan Zhan found out."

He does not, Lan Wangji notes, tell how, clearly sparing Wen Ning more ill-placed ire from Jiang Wanyin. It feels odd to be grateful his husband was injured, but without it, he might have walked away, down the mountain, ignorant of Wei Ying's suffering.

"Is that why you stayed, Lan-er-gongzi?"

Jiang Yanli's gaze is level despite her tears, her eyes sharp, and Lan Wangji feels as though she is weighing him still.

"En," he answers simply. "I could only help him if I stayed."

He had known for some time that his uncle was unlikely to help Wei Ying heal, that hiding him in Gusu would stifle him and destroy him just as it had destroyed his mother. Lan Wangji could continue to walk away, or he could stay.

"And the marriage?"

Lan Wangji isn't quite ce rtain what she is asking—perhaps the reason he told Wei Ying of the handfasting?

"It could protect him, even if it was simply political."

She smiles, but it's tight.

"No, I mean would you have told him, if you hadn't learned?"

He doesn't need time to consider the question; he assumed Wei Ying would reject him, as he had rejected the prospect of coming with him to Gusu. He had miscommunicated and misunderstood.

"No," he says, welcoming her judgment, as he judges himself. "I expected it would be a burden to him, unwelcome."

Wei Ying startles at the admission, glancing at him. Lan Wangji hates that he sees guilt in his expression over the misunderstanding, runs his hand across his shoulder to comfort him.

And realizes when his husband's eyes go a little glassy that he's run his hand over the hidden bite mark.

How could he have thought this would be unwelcome?

Jiang Wanyin snorts, and Lan Wangji's ears burn at the sense of being seen doing something illicit.

"The way he mooned over you? Talked about you all the time."

He sounds long-suffering, as though Lan Wangji should have been aware of Wei Ying's regard. Now, of course, he can see nothing else. But before...

"And then after the war, he didn't," Jiang Yanli murmurs.

After Wei Ying had survived Burial Mounds and come out scarred and afraid.

"When I told him, Wei Ying tried to convince me he was unworthy," Lan Wangji says. "I disagreed."

Wei Ying tried to push him away before, when they were reunited after his disappearance, and Lan Wangji now knows it was out of a belief that he would somehow taint him.

"He feels himself unworthy of protection and love," he adds.

A troubled look passes over Jiang Wanyin's face, and Jiang Yanli just looks sad.

"That would be a-niang's influence again," she says softly. "A-Xian, we should have protected you better."

Wei Ying shakes his head as though to deny their culpability, and she takes his hands.

"No, A-Xian. She was wrong about your worth, and I hate that she cut you and A-Cheng down so much."

Jiang Wanyin looks uncomfortable, and Lan Wangji doubts it's because of his sister's lack of filial piety.

"She always compared me to you," he grates after a moment. "I was never good enough, because you were better. And now you'll always be better."

Lan Wangji bristles on Wei Ying's behalf, but his husband speaks first.

"I didn't do it to compete with you, A-Cheng," Wei Ying says tiredly. "What the fuck was the point of competing when you were dying? I just wanted you to live."

"And what about you?" Jiang Wanyin retorts. "What about your life? You think I want it to be a competition, you asshole? You told me to abandon you, but you wouldn't tell me the truth! You keep trying to throw yourself away!"

Wei Ying cringes, and Lan Wangji returns to holding him, his own anger fizzling out as he recognizes the feelings behind Jiang Wanyin's.

"You didn't expect to live this long, did you?"

The Jiang sect leader's tone implies it's not really a question but a realization, and Wei Ying's flinch implies he's right. Lan Wangji can't stop his hold from tightening on Wei Ying, Jiang Wanyin's words making him feel ill.

He has known his zhiji didn't expect to live as long as he has, but neither of them has spoken of it. Wei Ying managed to survive Indoctrination and the Xuanwu, the fall of Lotus Pier and massacre of most of his adopted clan, the removal of his golden core, the fall and entrapment in Burial Mounds, the war… Lan Wangji hates that Jiang Wanyin is right in this, and hates even more that Wei Ying has faced so many situations that could have killed him.

"You keep protecting other people, but you won't let anyone protect you!"

Jiang Wanyin is practically panting in anger.

"You always need to be the hero, Wei Wuxian! But all the heroes die!"

He sounds dangerously close to tears, and his words send a jolt of dread through Lan Wangji—just the idea of Wei Ying dying sends his stomach plummeting. He can feel Wei Ying shiver against him.

Jiang Yanli lets out a long breath, trying to compose herself. She gives Jiang Wanyin a warning look, and he scowls, looking away but clearly making an effort to calm down.

"We can only move forward," she says. "A-Xian will just need to learn to let us protect him."

"He is learning," Lan Wangji tells her.

She manages a watery smile.

"When you're hurt, it hurts us, Xianxian. Please let us help you."

Wei Ying seems beyond words, and just nods. A tremor runs through him, and Lan Wangji knows he's exhausted what energy he had left for the day with this conversation. His sister seems to sense this.

"A-Xian, you look tired."

Again, Wei Ying only nods, but Lan Wangji is of the opinion there should be no more secrets.

"He was nearly possessed by a resentful spirit a few days ago," he supplies.

Jiang Yanli gasps, and he tries not to be pleased that she will want to fix this, too. It will strengthen her resolve.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying protests, but it seems more of a token protest.

"Fortunately, xiongzhang was visiting. He calmed it with Liebing. There are now talismans where we sleep."

"It tried while he was sleeping?" Jiang Cheng almost demands. "Is it still so dangerous there?!"

"I fought her," Wei Ying murmurs, almost petulant. "She was liberated in the end."

"Not the point, Wei Wuxian!"

"A-Cheng," Jiang Yanli scolds. "We can talk about this later. I need to change so we can go with him and talk to Wen Qing. I expect she will have more to say about it, as well."

"J-jiejie needs some items from the market, so we need to b-buy them before we go back," Wen Ning offers.

Jiang Yanli nods firmly.

"Then we'll meet you in the market. And then I'll be finally able to get a hug from my zhizi."

A-Yuan beams at her, already recognizing himself as her nephew, and she stands and shakes out her cloak to don it. Jiang Wanyin packs the tureen back in the basket.

"Get this idiot to eat the rest of his bowl," he says gruffly. "He's too fucking skinny."

"A-Cheng, language," Wei Ying says almost automatically.

"Jiang-shushu said a bad word?" A-Yuan asks.

Jiang Wanyin looks almost panicked for a moment, then frowns.

"Yeah, yeah, Jiang-shushu said a bad word. Don't be like Jiang-shushu."

He gestures to the boy, who immediately climbs off Wen Ning's lap and runs over, latching onto his leg, and he reaches down and rubs A-Yuan's head affectionately.

"Get your a-die to eat the rest of his soup before he goes shopping, okay?"

A-Yuan nods emphatically, happy to be given such a task, then rushes to his a-die's side, climbing up onto the seat Jiang Yanli vacated.

Jiang Wanyin stares at Wei Ying for a long while.

"We'll fix this. We'll figure something out," he says heavily. "I owe you."

Wei Ying shakes his head, obstinate.

"You don't. I owed the Jiang sect everything."

That proclamation doesn't seem to sit well with his brother, who scowls.

"No. No debts between family. It's not a debt I owe, and you didn't owe me your Golden Core. It's what you deserve as my brother. I let Jin Guangshan's stupid mind games get to me."

Jiang Yanli, back in her cloak, her wedding robes and headdress hidden, approaches him and touches his elbow, murmurs his name. Jiang Wanyin glances at her, and nods, taking the basket from her.

"We're the Twin Heroes of Yunmeng, Wei Wuxian, and our sect motto is to attempt the impossible. We'll find a way."

Jiang Wanyin sweeps out of the courtyard with Jiang Yanli, and Lan Wangji can't help but wonder if he spends his free time planning dramatic exits.

Wei Ying releases a long breath, sagging against him the moment they're gone.

"Always needs to have the last word," he murmurs.

It's almost a mirror of what Lan Wangji is thinking, and he can't help a huff of amusement. Wei Ying turns to him with a tired smile.

"Aiya, all that was missing was a cape for him to swish dramatically."

Lan Wangji has seen some of those capes, and can easily imagine such a thing.

"Wei Ying also has a flair for the dramatic," he comments.

"Yeah, but I have style," he retorts with a snort.

He turns to the soup, thankfully not needing prompting. Lan Wangji had expected it would have gone cold by now, but it's still steaming. Likely the scent aroused Wei Ying's hunger. He suspects the bowl has a talisman affixed to or carved onto the bottom, meant to keep the contents warm. Somewhat extravagant, but it allows his husband to enjoy hot soup even after all the arguing, so he is grateful for the forethought.

They will have some time, he knows. Jiang Yanli's robes are intricate and will need to be removed with care to avoid damage, and the headdress will also be complex to remove. She will need to wash the makeup from her face as well.

Time enough for Wei Ying to finish eating, to dawdle a little while shopping to account for the exhaustion he undoubtedly feels, to take a breath before more difficult conversation.

They have time, a gift Wei Ying apparently didn't expect to have, and Lan Wangji will work to ensure he has much more.

The Twin Prides, after all, now have the support of the Twin Jades.


This chapter was hard to write, but I finally got there! Lots of dialog, which had to be balanced.

Updates are slow. Life is busy. Lots of responsibilities, and non-productive insomnia.

Honestly, the most research I did for this chapter was on family and martial family names.