Chapter 2: Long time no smurf

Disclaimer: I do not own the Smurfs, they are owned by Peyo. I do not own South Park or it's characters, they are owned by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I only own Hector and Emily because they are my OCs. Any OC that isn't Hector or Emily is owned by their respective owners. I also do not own the song or lyrics featured, some lyrics might be changed. Anyways, enjoy.

The next day, the smurfs were helping Cartman and Wendy with breakfast, while also singing their own theme song. Handy was trying to get the toaster to work.

"It's so obvious that what you're doing is wrong," said Brainy, as he walked towards Handy.

"Really? After you then," said Handy.

"Can you believe it?! There are smurfs in our house!" said Cartman, checking his computer for information on the smurfs. Just then, Brainy was sent flying into the air, and landed in the sink, slightly splashing Wendy.

"So you're going with your 'this is actually happening' theory?" asked Wendy, as she dries herself off.

"Sorry," said an apologetic Brainy.

"Okay, it says here that smurfs are mythical creatures from Belgium, also known as schtroumpfs," said Cartman, paraphrasing what was on his computer. "It also says that they bring good luck, like four-leaf clovers, and they're great singers."

"Well, you can't blame us for singing," said Hector.

"It says you're mythical. Also, how do we know you're the Hector and Emily we know?" asked Wendy.

"Yeah, tell us something only the real Hector and Emily would know," said Cartman.

"Okay, umm… oh, this one time, we were at a hotel in Japan, and Wendy bought a movie but she wouldn't tell us the title, but I could tell by the price that it was a porno…" said Hector, before he was cut off by Wendy.

"Okay, Okay! I believe you!" said Wendy.

"Hang on, you bought a porno at a hotel?" asked Cartman, in shock.

"It had good reviews, and it looked like a great movie," said Wendy.

"We'll talk about this later. Anyways, how do we know if this girl is Emily?" asked Cartman.

"Easy, Wendy gave Hector an Xbox series X as an early birthday present," began Emily. "But the Xbox was broken, so Hector got revenge by killing Wendy's parents, grinding them into chili, and then he fed the chili to Wendy."

"Yep, that's Emily," said Wendy.

"Wait, Hector killed your parents?! But he's a really nice smurf!" said Smurfette, who, along with the other smurfs (except for SmurfStorm, because she knew about this), was shocked to hear that Hector would kill someone.

"Yeah, well, news flash, everybody has a little bit of evil in them. And you're no different," said Wendy, causing Smurfette to cry in Hefty's arms.

"Wow, Wendy. That was just cruel. There was a line and you crossed it," said Vexy.

"Sorry, it's just… Why do Hector and Emily get to have all the fun?" asked Wendy.

"Maybe because we're nice to people, and give everyone a second chance… Except for Kyle," said Hector, causing the other smurfs to look at him. "Oh, Kyle was this Jewish kid that I hated."

"Why? What did he do to you?" asked SmurfWillow.

"Simple, that Jewish nimrod is the reason I lost my leg!" said Hector, showing everyone his prosthetic leg, causing them to gasp.

"I keep telling people 'never trust the jews', but do they ever listen, NO!" said Cartman.

"Okay, so, to review, you were both born smurfs?" said Wendy.

"Yes," said Hector.

"You were sent to New York to be protected from Gargamel."

"Yes."

"You were given magic jelly beans that could turn you into a human or back into a smurf, depending on the color."

"Yes."

"Your Mystical Blue Magic is a result of you being human for a long time."

"Correct."

"And you're all stuck in South Park until a Blue Moon appears."

"Oh yeah."

"And you now use the imprecise term 'smurf' for just about everything."

"Smurf-actly," said Emily, just for fun.

"And, the boys are named after their personalities, while the girls are named after elements of nature. Did you two get your names when you were born, or because you show certain traits?" said Wendy, in confusion.

"Actually, smurfs from Smurf Village are named after their personalities, while smurfs from Smurfy Grove are named after elements of nature or just given a name that suits them. Like how my name means bully," explained Hector.

"But, you're from Smurfy Grove," said Cartman, pointing out the irony.

"Whatever, just use your computer to find something about blue moons," said Hector.

"Wow, just what is this searching doohickey?" asked Farmer Smurf.

"Well, right now he's using Google," answered Wendy, to which the smurfs (the ones who didn't travel to New York) were amazed.

"Oh, here it is, blue moon 'a figurative construct', much like you guys," said Cartman.

"Hey!" said Grouchy, who was very offended.

"But the moon here doesn't appear to be blue," said Cartman, as he showed the smurfs a photo of a 'blue' moon.

"Now we'll never get home! What if we all become CANNIBALS!" said Panicky Smurf, followed by Gutsy slapping him repeatedly.

"Pull yourself together, laddie! One of you is enough trouble!" said Gutsy, slapping Panicky with every word.

"Besides, Papa had a vision, and everything turns out smurfy. Right, Papa?" said Smurfette, causing all the smurfs to look at Papa Smurf.

"Yes, it all turns out just fine," said Papa Smurf, not wanting everyone to worry about what he saw.

"Maybe we can make a blue moon," suggested Hector, causing everyone to look at him. "Dad told me that Papa Smurf made a blue moon when you first went to New York. Maybe we can try it again."

"That might work, son. But, the stars will have to be perfectly aligned for that to work," said Clumsy.

"Smurf-actly. Cartman, do you still have that telescope I got you for your birthday?" asked Emily.

"Well…" began Cartman.

"Uh oh. He doesn't have the telescope," said Gutsy, causing all the smurfs to worry.

"We're all gonna die! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" screamed Panicky, followed by Hector slapping him repeatedly.

"Calm down, Panicky! We're gonna be fine. Just look on the bright side, now you'll all get to meet our friends from this town," said Hector, putting his arm around Emily.

"Sweetie, I don't want to upset you, but from what I've seen, your friends are a bit… dangerous, to put it nicely," said SmurfStorm. "Look at Wendy, she probably doesn't even like smurfs."

"Um, ouch," said Wendy, who was a little bit offended. Hector then faced Wendy.

"You'll have to forgive my mother, she doesn't trust people she hardly knows," said Hector.

"Wait, she's your mother?" asked Wendy, in shock.

"Of course. See the family resemblance?" said Hector, putting his head next to SmurfStorm.

"Well, you both have a similar haircut. But your hat bags over your eyes."

"Yeah, like my dad." He pointed to a Clumsy, who waved back. "By the way, what did Cartman do with the telescope?"

"Oh, he gave it to Stan a while back."

"Well then, I guess we're paying Stan a visit." He was about to leave, but was stopped by Wendy.

"Fuck no. You're all staying here."

"But why?"

"Didn't you see E. T.? People won't react nicely to things that they don't consider normal."

"Then it's our job to explain it to them. Besides, this'll give everyone the chance to meet my real family." He and Emily then started doing puppy eyes, followed by the smurflings joining in.

"Okay, fine. You can all come with us." Everyone cheered.

"Mommy always loses," said Sally.

"Yes, but let's not rub it in mommy's face," said Cartman, as he carried Sally to the car. Before Hector and Emily moved into town, a new law was passed that allowed people 14 years and older to drive as long as they have a driver's license, which Cartman and Wendy both have.

After a short drive, Cartman, Wendy, Sally, and the smurfs, finally made it to Stan's house. It was as if he never moved to Tegrity Farms, except his father still had a greenhouse so he still had a weed farm.

Cartman (who was wearing a backpack) knocked on the door and was greeted by Stan, who looked like Hector as a human.

"Oh, hey Cartman, hey Wendy. What's going on?" asked Stan, as he let them into his house.

"Not much, except that Hector came by for a visit," said Wendy, as she and Cartman sat on the couch.

"Really?! Where is he?! And what's with the backpack?" asked Stan. Cartman set the backpack on the couch and opened it, revealing the smurfs. "Okay, am I on acid, or are Hector and Emily smurfs?"

"You're not on acid, this is real. Great to see you again, pal," said Hector.

"Okay, this is cool, but tell me something only Hector would," said Stan.

For Forever by Ben Platt

Hector: End of May or early June

This picture-perfect afternoon we shared

Drive the winding country road

Grab a scoop at Mcdonalds

And then we're there

An open field that's framed with trees

We pick a spot and shoot the breeze

Like bubbies do

Quoting songs by our favorite bands

Telling jokes no one understands

Except us two

And we talk and take in the view

All we've seen is sky for forever

We let the world pass by for forever

Felt like we could go on for forever this way

Two friends on a smurfy day

We walked a while and talked about

The things we'd do when we get out of school

Bike the Appalachian trail or

Write a book or learn to sail

And it still sounds cool!

There was nothing we won't discuss

Like girls we wish would notice us and always do

You looked around and said to me

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be"

And I said, "me too"

And we'd talk and take in the view

We just talked and took in the view

All we've seen was sky for forever

We'd let the world pass by forever

Felt like we could go on for forever this way, this way

All we've seen was light for forever

'Cause the sun shined bright for forever

Like we'll be alright for forever this way

Two friends on a smurfy day

And there you'd go

Racing toward the tallest tree

From far across that apple farm I heard you calling, "follow me"

There we'd go

Wondering how the world might look from up so high

One foot after the other

One branch then to another

I climbed higher and higher

I climbed 'til the entire

Sun shined on my face

And I suddenly felt the branch give way

I'm on the ground

My arm went numb

I looked around

And I see you come to get me

You came to get me

And everything was okay

All we've seen was sky for forever

We'd let the world pass by for forever

Buddy, you and I for forever this way, this way

All we've seen was light

'Cause the sun burned bright

We could be alright for forever this way

Two friends

True friends

On a smurfy day

Everyone was in tears when Hector finished the song, even Grouchy was tearing up.

"It's good to see you again, buddy," said Stan, as he hugged Hector. Once the hug was over, everyone wiped away their tears. "Okay, so what do you guys need?"

"We need that telescope you borrowed from Cartman. Do you have it?" asked Snappy.

"Yeah, but it's at Kenny's house, and you can probably guess what he's using it for," said Stan, causing Emily to roll her eyes.

"You could use a little help," said Samantha, Stan's girlfriend, as she walked down the stairs. "Maybe the Freedom Pals can help them."

"But, Samantha, we haven't been the Freedom Pals in a long time. And besides, Hector and Emily are 3 apples tall, they could get hurt," said Stan.

"Relax, we'll be fine. Now come on, let's go to Kenny's house," said Hector, as the smurfs got back into the backpack.

"Do we have to take 3rd class? I prefer 1st class," said Vanity, followed by him being shoved into the backpack.

At Kenny's house…

Once the group were at Kenny's house, Stan knocked on the front door, to which Kenny answered. Kenny was still wearing his trademark parka, so his voice was still muffled.

"Hey, Kenny. Do you still have that telescope you borrowed from me?" asked Stan.

"(Sure, it's in my room. Come on)," said Kenny, as he walked everyone to his room. Once they were all in his room, he showed them the telescope. "(See, it's right here. But why do you need it)?"

"I think it's best if we show you," said Samantha, as she emptied the backpack onto Kenny's bed. Kenny was shocked to see this many smurfs in his house, let alone in general.

"(Am I high, or is this real)?" asked Kenny. Hector then walked towards Kenny.

"No, you're not high," said Hector. He then pointed to his hat. "Does this hat look familiar to you, Kenny?"

Kenny looked at Hector's hat, and immediately knew who he was. "(Hector?! Is that you?!)" asked a shocked Kenny, to which Hector nodded.

"Hey, don't forget about me!" said Emily, as she jumped on the bed.

"(Wow, Emily! Hector was right, you'd still look sexy if you were blue)," said Kenny, causing Emily to blush. Suddenly, Tammy Warner woke up in Kenny's bed (good thing she was wearing clothes for once).

"Hey, Ken, what's going on?" asked Tammy, who clearly got drunk last night. She then noticed the smurfs on the bed. "Wow, that's a lot of smurfs. Where did they all come from?"

"We came here because we got sucked in through a portal. Now, we need the telescope to make a blue moon," explained Hector.

"Aren't all smurfs born with a blue moon?" asked Tammy, causing everyone to laugh.

"That's a good one, miss.." began Nat.

"Warner. Tammy Warner. But my friends call me Tammy. Pleased to meet you all," said Tammy. Slouchy then started to sniff Tammy.

"Why do you smell like sweat and shame?" asked Slouchy.

"It was human mating season. Also, the white stuff on the bed is not mayonnaise," said Tammy, causing the girl smurfs to gag and the boy smurfs to chuckle.

"Well, with that out of the way, may we have the telescope?" asked Sassette.

"(Sure, but we wanna help get the smurfs back home)," said Kenny, to which everyone agreed.

What will happen next, even I don't know. Stay tuned to find out where this story ends. Also, I'm making Gargamel a minor character because he's a hard character to write for. Also, the joke of Stan looking like Hector (when he was a human) is included because I feel like this story would work in live action, so Hector and Stan would both be played by the same actor (Me). Stan's girlfriend, Samantha, appears courtesy of Modestneko.