The next morning brought a sense of both relief and dread. Louise had managed to fall asleep, though her dreams- much to her dismay -were filled to the brim with hormone driven displays. Everything written in Louise's journal had been turned up times ten, maybe even more.

"My stomach is doing weird flips." Louise whimpered, blushing heavily and wrapping herself in her blanket. "And it's going lower!"

"Oh, boy. You've got it worse than I thought." Tina muttered. "Then again, it is your first period. Puberty and periods do that to your brain."

"Well tell them to stop doing it!" Louise ordered, whining at the foreign feeling. "I don't like it! It's too weird!"

Tina frowned in sympathy, placing a hand on Louise's shoulder. "Do you want to stay home today?"

Louise nods, groaning as another mixture of pain and… whatever other feeling it was… hit her.

"Alright, I'll tell mom and dad." Tina assured, leaving the loft bed with a sympathetic frown. She genuinely felt bad for her little sister, knowing how much pain, frustration, and even fear these sensations were causing.


Breakfast without Louise at the table was a little odd. It had been agreed that the youngest Belcher deserved to have as much time to herself as she wished, even if it meant that she insisted on eating alone. Linda and Tina understood the notion completely, seeing as how Dakota would likely only cause Louise's bodily reactions to become worse. Unintentionally and unknowingly, of course, but it would still happen.

"My poor baby, in pain and eatin' all alone." Linda sighed.

"All because of you." Gene grumbled, pointing his fork at Dakota.

"How is this my fault? I didn't do anything to hurt Louise! I would never!" Dakota exclaimed, offended by the very accusation.

"Which we believe entirely." Bob huffed. "Gene, you need to leave Dakota alone. He's just trying to be friends with Louise. He isn't trying to do anything sneaky or inappropriate."

"You don't know that!" Gene shouted, leaving the table and storming towards Louise's room. He entered the room and gently closed her door, calming down instantly and humming at the sight of her frantically writing in her journal. "Hey, Louise. What're you writing?"

Louise squeaks, slamming her journal shut and clearing her throat. "N-nothing exciting! Just a… short story!"

"A short story?" Gene repeated, raising a suspicious brow when Louise rapidly nodded. "Like the ones Tina writes?"

"Well… kind of?" Louise replied.

"Louise, it's a 'yes' or 'no' question." Gene sighed, sitting on the beanbag chair behind Louise's wooden chair.

"Fine. Yes, it's an erotic friend-fiction." Louise admitted.

"Hmm. Can, uh… can I hear some of it?" Gene requested, slowly reaching out to grab the journal. He yelped when Louise slapped his hand away.

"No! No one but me and Tina are allowed to look at the contents of this journal!" Louise yelled. "Now get out! No dumb big brothers allowed!"

"Since when is that a rule?!"

"Since now! So go! Get out!"

"But-"

"MOOOOOOM!"


The walk to school between Tina, Gene, and Dakota was nothing short of tense. It was agreed that Louise would be allowed to stay home due to her growing pains, and that Tina was to walk between the boys to keep a fight from ensuing. Yes, there were probably going to be verbal threats, but that was likely the most that Tina needed to worry about.

"Gene, you need to calm down." Tina whispered. "Dakota is a nice kid."

"A "nice kid" who's trying to get involved with our baby sister." Gene scoffed.

Tina snickered despite herself, shaking her head slightly. "Louise is nine."

"Baby sis." Gene grumbled, speeding up his pace. He repeated this term like a mantra, using it as his motivation to keep his anger towards Dakota constant and understandable.


Back at home, Bob had chosen to open the restaurant, allowing Louise to either stay upstairs or spend her time relaxing at the counter. At first, Louise wrote until the pain in her stomach forced her to stop. She hid her journal and climbed onto her loft bed, falling asleep for around an hour.

The long nap made Louise feel a bit groggier than she would have originally liked, though it didn't really upset her considering how it eased her pain. A soft yawn led Louise to crawl out of her bed, her little legs moving on autopilot and leading her downstairs without hesitation. The next thing she knew, Louise was sitting next to Mort at the counter in her father's restaurant.

"Are you feeling better, sweetheart?" Linda cautiously asked.

"My belly's still flippy." Louise replied. "And there's a weird tingle between my-"

"Lin, I'm low on coffee!" Mort yelped, his cheeks turning just a light shade of pink.

"I gotcha, hon." Linda chuckled. She completely understood why Mort interrupted Louise's sentence. The kids were like Mort's family! It was a little odd and uncomfortable to hear his niece-but-not-really talk about weird feelings in her private area.

"Louise, how about we save the 'weird feelings' talk for when we're in the apartment, okay?" Bob suggested.

"Alright, fine." Louise grumbled. She laid her head on the counter and sighed, thinking over what she'd written earlier that morning. She hadn't had time to let Tina read it before the eldest Belcher child left, which led to another five minutes of erotic writing. The journal was hidden under Louise's beanbag chair, filled with stories that made even Tina blush.

"Sweetie, how about we talk about something else?" Linda suggested.

"Like?" Louise quietly replied.

"I dunno. Eggs?" Linda chimed. "Eggs are good."

"Yeah, I guess they are." Louise muttered.

The topic was dropped seconds later, and Louise rolled her eyes in annoyance. She tapped her fingers on the counter, looking through the order window at her father. Bob seemed to be just as bored as his daughter, only perking up when a customer walked through the doors.

"Ugh… mom? Can I go upstairs?" Louise requested.

"Are you sleepy again?" Teddy asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"No, I just feel like drawing and writing." Louise replied, not realizing that that one sentence would start a huge scene.

"Drawing and writing? You write now?" Bob stopped what he was doing for just a fraction of a second. "As in 'Erotic Friend-fiction' type writing?"

Louise blushed just enough to gain her father's attention, clearing her throat and groaning. "I guess you could call it that."

"Oh, good God." Bob whimpered.

"Bobby, hush. If writing sexy fiction helps Louise feel better, then let her write sexy fiction." Linda quietly huffed.

"Lin, she's nine. I don't feel comfortable hearing that our nine-year-old is writing erotic friend-fiction." Bob whispered back.

"I'm sure the most erotic things get is probably just kissing." Linda snorted. "You know Louise, she thinks anything romantic is gross. Writing erotic/sexy stuff is probably hard enough as is."

Bob groaned and frowned in his typical 'I wish you would listen to me' fashion, returning to the grill as he realized that he was losing the argument. "Fine; just… don't let her get too carried away. Maybe sneak a peek every now and then."

"I was planning on doing so anyway." Linda assured.

"Ma'am, we're ready to order." One of the customers announced.

"Oh yeah! We serve food!" Linda chimed. "Louise, go ahead and get your sexy fiction."

Everyone was caught off guard by how fast Louise hopped off her stool and left the restaurant. They shared confused glances before returning to their previous activities as much as they could.

This would definitely be a weird day.


Things at school didn't prove to be much better. Gene was visibly more tense than normal, and his negative demeanor seemed to affect plenty of students around him. His friends tried to find out what was wrong, only to be blown off or snapped at. This behavior had him sent to Mr. Frond's office during recess, and Tina accompanied him to make sure things were cleared up as much as possible.

"So, Gene, I hear you've been acting like a bit of a bully lately." Mr. Frond calmly stated.

"A 'bully'?" Tina scoffed. "Mr. Frond, Gene isn't bullying anyone!"

"Oh? Then what would you call his most recent behavior?" Frond asked.

"Gene is just upset because-"

"Upset?! I'm more than 'upset,' Tina! I am pissed!" Gene yelled.

"Gene! Language!" Frond admonished, crossing his arms like a scolding mother.

"Oh, well excuse me for expressing how I feel!" Gene sarcastically replied. "But I think you'd feel the same if you had a younger sister who was head over heels for some random white-collar boy that she just met!"

"Uh… what?" Frond muttered, looking to Tina for answers.

"Louise hit puberty a couple of days ago and is interested in Dakota Madenheim." Tina sighed.

"She's not interested in him! She's interested in his ding-dong!" Gene shouted.

"GENE!" Frond frantically screamed. "That is beyond inappropriate!"

"But it's true." Tina muttered. "I like butts, Louise likes… eugh… penis."

Mr. Frond ran a hand through his hair and groaned. This was news that he couldn't have even imagined to be given! To even want to be given! Puberty was a natural thing, but to hear that one student had an interest in another in a… less than appropriate manner… was a bit more difficult to handle right now.

"Does Dakota feel the same way?" Frond nervously asked.

"I know that he likes her back, but I don't know if he's interested in her in that way." Tina admitted, shrugging and suddenly thinking about the possibility. "Oh, God! What if he does?! What if they both get too curious and they want to explore and they end up in a situation that puts them alone and- uuuuuuhhhhh…!"

"Tina, wh- don't- why would- damn it, Tina! Stop making that sound!" Frond groaned. "Now, listen; I understand that the situation is… unfortunate… but there has to be a way that we can make it work. Talk to them and help them understand what they can and can't do with each other."

"Like be together at all." Gene muttered.

"Gene, please." Tina huffed. "And, I guess that could work. Explain the rights and wrongs of liking boy parts and maybe girl parts. I'm sure Louise will understand."

"Gah, I keep forgetting this is about Louise of all nine-year-olds." Frond muttered.

"I know, it's weird." Tina agreed. "But she's growing up. She's learning, and that's good! Right?"

"Of course it is!" Frond replied. "Everyone needs to grow up at some point, no matter how hard it is to believe. Louise is getting to know what it's like to understand her body and the bodies of boys."

"Yeah, this was bound to happen eventually." Tina commented. "Everything that's happening is right. It's happening for a reason, and it's supposed to happen. And we're all ready for it."

"Yup." Frond chimed. "All of us are definitely ready."