Chapter 3: A very smurfy reunion
Disclaimer: I do not own the Smurfs, they are owned by Peyo. I do not own South Park or it's characters, they are owned by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I only own Hector and Emily because they are my OCs. Any OC that isn't Hector or Emily is owned by their respective owners. I also do not own the song or lyrics featured, some lyrics might be changed. Anyways, enjoy.
Once they retrieved the telescope, Cartman called a meeting for all the kids in South Park in his basement. Once all the kids arrived, Cartman got in front of everyone and began talking.
"Hello, friends. As most of you may not know, our dear friends Hector and Emily have returned," began Cartman, causing everyone to cheer. "But they have… changed, to say the least."
"Change, as in, change in their personalities?" asked Butters.
"No. I meant change, as in, a change in appearance," said Cartman.
"So? What's wrong with plastic surgery? It's perfectly normal for girls in Japan. No offense, Samantha," said Bebe.
"None taken," said Samantha.
"Ugh, I think it's best if we just show you what Hector, Emily, and their real parents look like. Come on out, guys," said Cartman. Hector and Emily, along with their respective parents, came out from behind Cartman, shocking everyone.
"They're smurfs?! No wonder Wendy hates Hector!" said Butters, causing Wendy to roll her eyes.
"Wow, they still look amazing!" said Bebe.
"At least I'm not the only one of color anymore," said Token (I know that's not his real name anymore, but keep in mind that this is my continuity, so Hector and Emily never knew Token's name was Tolkien).
"Yes, it is pretty cool that they're smurfs, but now they need our help," said Cartman, which seemed to get everyone's attention. "The smurfs' sworn enemy, Gargamel, has also come to South Park, so that he can extract their essence for his magic. The only way to send him back to the middle ages, is to make a literal blue moon."
"Why can't we just use photon blasters to blow Gargamel off the face of the earth?" asked Kevin Stoley, causing Hector to pinch his nose in frustration.
"God dammit, Kevin. We're not from another fucking dimension, we're from the fucking middle ages," said Hector. "Every fucking time we discuss fantasy, you always discuss your stupid motherfucking Star Trek obsession."
"Yeah, and, newsflash, nobody gives a shit about Star Trek anymore. It's all about Star Wars now because they have more action and less motherfucking talking," said Emily. "So either stay on topic for once, or Hector will shoot you in the head so we won't have to hear you rambling about fucking Star Trek ever again."
Kevin was about to say something, but then he just stayed silent.
"Thank you… for wasting our time. Go ahead, Cartman," said Hector.
"Thanks. Anyways, to make a blue moon, we'll need to find a spell that works in the modern world. Any ideas?" said Cartman, to which Kevin raised his hand. "If this is anything Star Trek related…" Kevin put his hand down. Nichole raised her hand. "Yes, Nichole?"
"There's an antique book store in the ruins of the South Park Mall, maybe one of them could have a spell," suggested Nichole.
"That's a great idea, Nichole. Everyone and everysmurf, to the South Park Mall!" said Hector.
At the South Park Mall…
"This was a mall?" asked Hector, in confusion. The South Park Mall was partly destroyed, and looked abandoned. "Well, we're not gonna find that book store by standing here. Come on!"
The smurfs and humans walked into the mall, which was still open, as they were amazed that a lot of things had been destroyed.
"Am I the only one whose but is scrunching?" asked Clyde.
"Sadly, no," said Grouchy, as he looked around the mall.
Baker Smurf looked at the baked goods section in disgust. "I wouldn't want to be caught dead in that bakery," said Baker Smurf.
"Well if we don't get to that book store, then we'll be dead either way," said SmurfLily.
"That's what I meant," replied Baker Smurf.
"Hey, look. I think I found the book store," said Greedy, as he walked to the (surprisingly well built) abandoned book store.
"Well, what do we do now?" asked Tweek, as he started twitching.
"We gotta look for a book that might have a spell in it," said Craig, as everyone and everysmurf looked around the bookstore.
"Hey, everybody. Come check this out!" called Hector, causing everybody to run towards him. "Look at all these smurf books I found. They have French, English, Spanish, German, and Japanese." He then pulled out 2 of the French books.
"'L'Apprenti schtroumpf', and 'L'Oeuf et les schtroumpfs'. What's that got to do with any of the shit that's happening now?" asked Stan.
"Well, Stanley, the first time we traveled to this world, we made an incantation from the words on these pages," said Papa Smurf, as he wrote down the incantation in his notebook. "Okay, we got the incantation. Now, we just need to use the telescope to see if the stars are perfectly aligned."
"Then we can go home?" asked Painter Smurf.
"That's right," said Hector. Suddenly, his Spider Senses started tingling.
"Oh, you're all going somewhere.. In my giant smurfalater at the castle of my dear friend, Dr. Alphonse Mephesto," said Gargamel, as he appeared behind everyone, causing everyone to gasp in shock.
"Hey, Gargi. I see you still have that you still have that bullethole from when I shot you," said Hector.
"A minor injury is nothing compared to the power I will have once I collect all your essence," said Gargamel.
"Well, I guess we'll just… SCATTER!" exclaimed Emily, to which the humans and smurfs all scattered.
"Get back here you little brats!" said Gargamel, as he tried chasing the smurfs. Luckily, some of the kids caught some of the smurfs, and managed to escape the mall.
Hector and Emily, on the other hand, were being chased by Azrael.
"TAKE THIS, BAD KITTY!" said Cartman, as he kicked Azrael across the hallway. He then picked up Hector and Emily. "Are you two okay?"
"We sure are. What about the other smurfs?" asked Hector.
"Don't worry, everyone is safe and sound. Now, let's get the fuck out of here!" said Cartman, as he carried the two smurfs out of the mall.
At Cartman's house, late at night…
Papa Smurf and SmurfWillow were using the telescope to see if the stars were perfectly aligned, so far they were.
Wendy and the other girls were just brushing the girl smurfs' hair.
"How come you, Vexy, Emily, and Sassette, are the only girls without natural blue hair?" asked Bebe.
"Well, I was first created by Gargamel to trap the other smurfs," began Smurfette. "Papa Smurf saw the good in me, and he used a special spell to turn me into the smurf I was meant to be."
"So, he used a love potion?" joked Samantha, causing everyone to laugh.
"Something like that," continued Smurfette. "Anyway, one day, I got lonely from being the only girl in the village. Snappy, Slouchy, and Nat heard me, and so they made Sassette to keep me company. But, they used a smurf bucket of clay, so Sassette ended up being a smurfling. She also caused the boys to blush immediately."
"Let's just say, I was a little 'underdressed' when I came out of the cauldron," said Sassette, slightly embarrassed.
"How much did the smurflings see?" asked Heidi Turner.
"Slouchy and Nat didn't see much, but Snappy wanted the whole tour," answered Sassette, causing everyone to laugh.
"After Sassette was made, Vexy was made when Gargamel became famous in this world," continued Smurfette. "After she became a true blue smurf, she fell in love with Grouchy."
"That love eventually led to marriage, and, 9 months after Christmas, I gave birth to a baby girl," said Vexy, as she hugged Emily, who hugged back.
"But, why did you send Emily to New York?" asked Wendy, which made the girl smurfs go silent. Vexy then walked two steps forward.
"One day, in November, we had to do the dance of 100 smurfs," began Vexy. "We didn't want anything bad to happen to Emily, so we had Clumsy turn her human, and send her to New York."
"Oh, I'm sorry I asked," said Wendy, feeling like she made a mistake asking the question.
"It's okay. But I still don't know how Hector is around Emily's age. They only returned 14 months after Smurfette discovered Smurfy Grove," said Sassette, causing the girl smurfs to look at Smurfette and SmurfStorm.
"Don't look at me, I only found out last Christmas. Take it up with Stormy," said Smurfette. Everyone looked at SmurfStorm.
"Well, I actually met Clumsy when we were smurflings. And, before Hector was born, Clumsy and I got married," confessed SmurfStorm.
"And you didn't invite us to the wedding?" asked Sassette. Storm nodded.
"Wait, I thought you married Clumsy last month. You said it was a private ceremony," said Vexy.
"Private ceremony yes, last month no," said SmurfStorm. "I'm sorry I lied to you girls."
"It's okay Stormy, we forgive you," said Sassette, as she, Smurfette, and Vexy hugged Stormy.
"Seriously, you forgive her after she lied to you?" asked Annie Knitts, in amazement.
"Welcome to my world," said Vexy, causing Emily to nudge her. They all just laughed it up.
The boy smurfs were still waiting for Papa and Willow to finish looking at the stars, while at the same time watching some episodes of Spider-Man, to which they were amazed while Brainy was confused.
"I still don't get it. How can a bite from a radioactive spider give you superpowers?" asked Brainy.
"It's just a cartoon, Brainy. You don't have to get it," said Nat.
"Besides, you have to watch all the episodes in timeline order, or else it won't make sense," explained Hector.
"Hey, look what I found," said Stan, holding a copy of Rock Band. "How about a little playthrough?"
"Hell yeah," said Hector, followed him, and the other smurfs following Stan to the gaming television. Once there, Stan turned on the TV, put the game on, selected a song, and started playing.
"You guys can sing along, with a few lyric changes," said Stan, to which they did.
Walk this way by Aerosmith
Hector: Backstroking lover, always hidin 'neath the covers
'Til I talked to my daddy, he say
Snappy: He said, "You ain't seen nothing 'til you're down on a muffin
Then you're sure to be a-changing your ways."
Slouchy: I met a cheerleader, was a real young bloomer
All the times I could reminisce
Nat: 'Cause the best things of loving with her sisters and her cousins
Only started with a smurfy kiss, like this
Hefty: See-saw swinging with the boys in the yard
With your feet flying up in the air
Handy: Singing "Hey, diddle-diddle with your kitty and the fiddle
Of the swing like I don't give a care."
Clumsy: So I took a big chance at the big smurf dance
With a missy who was ready to play
Greedy: Wasn't me she was fooling 'cause she knew what she was doing
And I knew love was here to stay when she told me to
Hector: "Walk this way, smurf this way"
"Walk this way, smurf this way"
Painter: "Walk this way, smurf this way"
"Walk this way, smurf this way"
Panicky (who was feeling less like himself): Ah, just give me a kiss
Like this
Grouchy: Schoolgirl smurfy with the classy kinda sassy
Gutsy: Little skirt's climbing way up her knee
Snappy & Hector: There were two young ladies in the smurf gym locker
When I noticed they was looking at me
I was a smurf school loser, never made it with a lady
'Til the smurfs told me something I missed
Then our next door neighbor did our girlfriends a few favors
So we smurfed them just a little kiss, like this
Hefty: See-saw swinging with the boys in the yard
With your feet flying up in the air
Handy: Singing "Hey, diddle-diddle with your kitty and the fiddle
Of the swing like I don't give a care."
Clumsy: So I took a big chance at the big smurf dance
With a missy who was ready to play
Greedy: Wasn't me she was fooling 'cause she knew what she was doing
And I knew love was here to stay when she told me to
Hector: "Walk this way, smurf this way"
"Walk this way, smurf this way"
Painter: "Walk this way, smurf this way"
"Walk this way, smurf this way"
Panicky (who was feeling less like himself): Just give me a kiss
Like this
Once the boys stopped rapping, the girls showed up. Emily was also filming the whole thing with her phone.
"Wow, who knew you boys could rap," said Emily.
"You're not gonna post that video, are you?" asked Hector.
"Don't worry, people are gonna think I made this video with a computer," said Emily, as she posted the video onto her YouTube channel.
"At least you boys proved that you all have musical talent," said SmurfBlossom. Just then, Papa and Willow showed up. "Papa, Willow, you're back!"
"Are we going home yet? This town reeks of drunk people," said Grouchy.
"We are going home, just.. Not tonight," said Papa Smurf.
"Well, I guess we'll have to try tomorrow night," said Hector, just to make sure everysmurf stayed positive. "Come on, we'll all sleep in the guest bedroom." He led all the smurfs to the guest bedroom, where they all drifted off to sleep.
Don't worry, this doesn't mark the end of this awesome crossover. Besides, I have a 'special' surprise for the finale, just you wait.
