Dear diary,

I honestly never thought I would end up using a diary, but here I am I guess. My belly hurts, my back hurts, I'm pooping a lot, and I can't stop thinking about Dakota. Mom and dad are watching me and think I don't notice right now, and it's actually kinda funny. I'm glad that they're worried, but it's also kind of annoying.

It's almost time for school to end, so Gene and Tina should be getting back soon. Gene has been acting a bit weird recently. For some reason he acts like Dakota is the worst person in the world, and he even acts like Dakota is out to get me 24/7! But I know Dakota, and he isn't like that!

Tina has been acting really supportive, which makes sense. She has to go through this stuff too. Ugh, I'm surprised she hasn't ended up losing all her blood. Wait a second.

~~~~~~

"Mom?" Louise nervously asked, using one arm to cover what she'd been writing in her journal.

"Yes, my sweet baby?" Linda cheerily replied, turning her attention from a customer to Louise.

"I'm not gonna… bleed out… am I?" Louise asked, paling at the very thought. "Like, hypothetically speaking, say I suddenly bleed so much that my heart just… stops."

"Don't worry, Louise. You won't bleed out." Bob assured through a fond chuckle. "Your body won't let you."

"And neither will we." Linda chirped. "We'll show that blood what for!"

"Oh, my God." Bob groaned.

"We're home!" Gene loudly announced as he and Tina walked into the restaurant. The duo tossed their bookbags on the floor next to the counter, ignoring Bob's exasperated sigh.

"Hello, my other babies!" Linda cheered, taking a moment to turn in the order slip for Bob before pulling Gene and Tina in for a kiss attack. She hugged them as tight as possible, only stopping when she noticed the pink paper in Tina's hands. "Oh, Tina! You got detention?"

"Really? Why?" Louise asked, both proud and upset by the fact. The proud portion was completely expected, as Louise always loved hearing incidents when her older siblings would get in trouble. The upset portion was new, one that Louise refused to look into for fear that she would likely start brooding like some angsty teen.

"It's not a detention letter, it's a letter from Mr. Frond that's calling for a mandatory meeting between us and the Madenheims." Gene muttered, sitting across from Louise with a low huff.

"Wait, why does Frond want to have a meeting with us?" Bob asked.

"Gene was acting crabby and got sent to Frond's office today." Tina replied. "Then we had to explain why, told Frond that Louise was going through puberty, and he decided that it would be best for all of us to have a 'collective meeting' in order to help Louise better understand her feelings and thoughts about puberty and periods and growing up."

"YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT MY PERIOD?!" Louise screamed, absolutely mortified by the very idea.

"No! We didn't tell him about your period!" Tina hurriedly assured.

"Just about your obsession with weiners." Gene hummed. "More specifically, Dakota's."

Louise went silent and stiff for an uncomfortable amount of time, leading her family to share a worried glance. Soft whimpers accompanied a twitching eye, which then started to push out tears of genuine sorrow.

"Louise-"

"I HATE YOU!" Louise wailed, snatching her notebook and racing out of the restaurant. She cried even as she raced into the apartment and up to the room, not even bothering to slam her door closed as she climbed onto her bed and hid under the covers.

"Gene, why would you do that?" Linda asked, crossing her arms and frowning. A look of disappointment was visible on her face, though there was still a bit of understanding hidden behind it. "Louise is going through something that she can't control. Her feelings are all willy-nilly and driven by her pit-er-ary!"

"Pituitary." Tina corrected.

"What?" Linda asked, uncrossing her arms and raising a brow.

"Her emotional and hormonal changes are caused by the Pituitary gland." Tina replied.

"Oh. Well, you know what I mean!" Linda sniped, crossing her arms once more. "Poor Louise, up there crying and thinking of weiners."

"Oh, my God." Bob and Gene muttered simultaneously.

"I'll go upstairs and try to calm her down." Tina sighed, not waiting for a response before leaving the restaurant and making her way into the apartment. With a deep breath, Tina walked into Louise's room, closing the door and clearing her throat. "Louise?"

"Go away! I don't want to talk to anyone right now!" Louise cried, hugging Kuchi Kopi close and hiding under the covers more.

Tina stayed quiet and walked forward, leaning against the bed and standing on her toes. A small smile crept its way onto Tina's face as she poked her hand through the bars on the loft bed and poked the lump that was Louise's tiny hidden body.

"No! Stop it!" Louise whined, sitting up and turning to scowl at Tina. Her blanket stayed draped over her head, making her look like an angry bunny that was popping out of its burrow. "You told Mr. Frond about me maybe-sorta-kinda-like-liking Dakota, and then you told him that I like boy parts!"

"I know, and I'm sorry; but if you think about it, he was going to find out in some way or another." Tina replied. "Would you rather him find out through us, or through someone like Chloe Barbash, Tammy Larson, or even Mr. Ambrose?"

Louise sniffled a few times, wiping her eyes and thinking over the question. Looking at it from this new point of view, Louise decided to at least try and calm down. She crawled out from under her covers, sidling off her bed, yet keeping her gaze off Tina.

"I'm still mad at you." Louise grumbled, walking away from Tina and soon out of the room.

"That's… understandable." Tina sighed.

The rest of that day was incredibly awkward, what with Louise refusing to acknowledge Gene and Tina due to her previous embarrassment. Bob and Linda had attempted to start multiple conversations throughout the day, failing miserably and only managing to get at most three words out of Louise each time. By the time everyone had gotten ready for bed, the tension was thick enough to be cut through with a knife.

Everyone hoped that tomorrow would be better.


The next morning seemed to be fairly tame, considering the circumstances. Breakfast went by quickly and quietly, as Louise seemed too cranky to talk. Her cramps didn't seem to want to lessen up, leading her to stay home yet again.

On any normal day, Louise would be ecstatic to stay home, to be forced to stay locked away due to a cold or a half day. Unfortunately, today was not a normal day. No, it was a day full of pain; pain and genuine emotional sadness.

"Have fun at school!" Linda chimed, waving Gene and Tina out of the restaurant. "Don't forget about the meeting tonight!"

"How could we forget?" Gene muttered, adjusting his bookbag as he and Tina walked to school.

"Are you feeling better, Louise?" Bob asked, hoping that a good night's rest helped to calm his youngest daughter down.

"No." Louise honestly replied. "I'm still mad."

"Oh, sweetie. Your big brother and big sister were just looking out for you." Linda sighed, sitting next to Louise in a booth. "They wanted to help you feel better."

"By telling Mr. Frond that I like boy parts?!" Louise shouted. "How is that supposed to help me feel better?! Now he's just gonna judge me and talk to me about safe sex or something!"

"God, I hope not." Bob muttered, moving to clarify when Linda shot a disbelieving look in his direction. "I-I meant that I hope he won't have to have that talk yet! B-because Louise is so young!"

"Uh-huh." Linda replied, turning back towards Louise and sighing. "It's okay, baby. Just you wait, when it's time for that meeting, you'll get to see Dakota!"

Louise perked up at the fact, feeling a bit of delight for once in a while.

"Yeah! See? And I bet Dakota will be very excited to see you, too!" Linda cheered. "He hasn't seen you in a while. Probably pretty worried."

"Uh, Lin? Could you come over here for a second?" Bob quietly requested, waiting for Linda to arrive before lowering his voice. "I don't think it's a good idea to talk about Dakota right now."

"Why not? Louise needs something to think about to make her happy." Linda whispered back. "Dakota makes her happy, so I'm talking about him."

"Yeah? Well she said that penis makes her happy, too. Are you gonna talk to her about that?" Bob asked.

"Hmm… fair point." Linda sighed. "But she's already thinking about him. Let's just let her. She'll see him at the meeting, we'll get things situated, and work things out from there."

"As long as she isn't getting too carried away." Bob whispered. He huffed as Linda placed a hand on his, offering a silent promise that all was okay. "I really hope you're right."


As the Belchers got ready for the meeting later that day, everyone was relieved to see Louise moving around with a small smile. She appeared to be lost in thought, humming a tune that no one could recognize as one that belonged to an actual song. Every now and then, a blush would appear on her face, and she would stop to take a deep breath.

"You doing alright, sweetie?" Linda asked, not quite convinced when her daughter nodded. "Okay, just checking."

This constant on-and-off of checking and nodding went on until the family got into the car. It was there where Louise tapped her fingers on her legs as the group drove to the school, practically racing over Tina once they arrived.

"Louise! Wait for us!" Tina shouted, groaning as her sister ignored her and disappeared inside the school building.

"If she's this bad now, imagine what she'll be like when she's your age." Bob muttered.

"You take that back!" Tina shouted.

"Yeah! Louise is just going through a phase!" Gene scoffed, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

"A horny phase." Linda muttered. "I never thought I'd have to say that about Louise."

"I genuinely hope no one in this family ever says that again." Gene hissed, grunting as Louise caught his attention.

"Guys, come on! Dakota's not here yet and I don't wanna go in there with Frond without backup!" Louise shouted.

"Okay, baby! We're comin'!" Linda shouted back. "Bobby, go park the car. Me and Gene and Tina will take Louise in and make sure Frond doesn't get killed."

"I really hate that you have to say that." Bob sighed, watching with dismay as his family climbed out of the car. "Please let this go by smoothly…"


After parking, Bob wasn't one bit surprised to walk into the school library- where Mr. Frond had set the meeting to be -and find Louise brooding. As expected, Mr. Frond was attempting to help lift Louise's spirits by assuring her that no one was judging her for anything. Despite that, Louise felt the need to sneer at Frond before flipping him off for half a second.

"Louise!" Linda gasped, slapping the young girl's hands down.

"Oh, my God." Bob sighed, walking forward and deciding to sit next to Gene. "Louise, please don't make this harder than it has to be."

"I'm not! I'm just expressing my feelings in a creative way." Louise replied.

Bob shook his head lightly, raising a brow at the sound of high heels clacking against the floor. Following the sound was Alahna Madenheim, who seemed fairly content with the situation, going so far as to wear a casual blouse and black pants. After her followed Evan, who was draped from head to toe in a fashion that screamed how he demanded respect, right down to his slightly frustrated frown. Ending the line was Dakota, who sported a fairly decent collared shirt and khaki pants combo.

"Dakota!" Louise gasped, leaping out of her seat and racing towards her crush. She was greeted with an equal amount of excitement.

"Louise! I'm so glad you're okay!" Dakota cheered, laughing as he was tackled. The duo wrestled with each other until their parents separated them. "Hey! We're just having fun!"

"Yeah!" Louise agreed. "Not everything I do has to have a motive behind it!"

"Not even the erotic friend-fiction where everything you did literally had a motive behind it?" Tina asked.

"Oh, my God." Bob groaned.

"Wait, she writes stories now too?" Frond almost fearfully asked.

"Tina! Seriously?!" Louise wailed, tugging at the edge of her bunny ear hat.

"You write stories?" Dakota asked, smiling with interest at the knowledge. "What about?"

Louise blushed and tried to come up with a believable lie, not wanting Dakota to know about her crush. This meeting was already going down the drain, and it hadn't even started yet!

"Oh, y'know… stuff." Louise nervously replied. "Adventures and people having them."

"Hmm, sounds interesting. Mind offering a sample of your work?" Evan requested.

"Pardon?" Louise squeaked, her blush growing deeper. "W-well, I'm not really huge on sharing my stories with others."

"Then what's the point of writing?" Evan asked.

"Because she enjoys it, Evan." Alahna hissed, silencing her husband quickly. "Now, why don't we go ahead and start our meeting?"

"Yes, thank you." Frond sighed, leading Louise and the Madenheims to the table. "Now, let's start off with why we're here. Louise, you know why we're here, correct?"

"Yeah, because some people are awful butt faces that I thought I could trust!" Louise snapped, glaring at Gene and Tina.

"Do you think she's talking about us?" Gene asked, leaning close to Tina.

"Most likely." Tina whispered.

"No." Gene muttered.

"They were just concerned about you, Louise. Puberty can be a confusing and even scary thing." Frond explained. "And they just wanted to help expand your Circle of Trust."

"Uh-huh." Louise scoffed.

"Wait a second, this meeting is about your daughter going through puberty?" Evan snorted. "Why was that not specified in the letter?"

"Well… because we knew you wouldn't come if you were aware of the situation." Frond replied.

"We?" Alahna asked.

"Yeah, Gene and I were involved too." Tina admitted. "Louise has been having a hard time lately, since she hasn't always been one to like-like boys or anything boy related."

"You like-like a boy?" Dakota quietly asked. A sad frown slipped onto his face before being masked by a feigned unfazed smile. "I bet he's in for a hot take, huh?"

"Oh, you have no idea." Tina chuckled, already loving the route this situation was taking. The classic Rom-Com Misunderstanding. "Maybe he'll even get to experience a rare Louise kiss."

Dakota held back a loud whine, instead choosing to place a hand on Louise's head as his smile became a bit more strained. The sight itself was incredibly awkward, and everyone in the room could sense the slowly growing tension.

"Something tells me you shouldn't have said that." Gene whispered.

"Why do you say that?" Dakota asked, patting Louise's head slowly. The action continued until Alahna pulled Dakota away from Louise.

"No particular reason." Gene muttered, looking to Frond in hopes of a reasonable change in conversation.

Mr. Frond nodded, clearing his throat and straightening his tie. "Say, why don't we try a little communication exercise? We state certain things we like about each other and why we like those things."

Gene snorted and held back a laugh, whining as Tina slapped his arm. "You know why I laughed."

"She likes more than that about him." Tina hissed. "And you know it."

"Hmm." Gene grumbled. "Alright, fine. Let's do it!"

"So it's basically a children's game?" Evan scoffed.

"Only if you see it that way." Frond replied, feeling his heart rate pick up. He genuinely hated how much Evan scared him. "Just give it some time to blossom…! Please?"

"Fine. But I still find it stupid." Evan muttered. "And let it be known that we're leaving the moment things start to go wrong."

"Oh, good God." Frond whimpered, a wobbly smile on his face. Instant regret was hitting him like a freight train, yet he pushed it down in favor of his will to help Louise.

Hopefully, just this once, Louise would let things go by without making someone want to jump through a window.

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*Yeesh, y'all, procrastination and indecision are both bitches that run my lives. Forgive me for the late update.