'A little break in a rural house surrounded by friends and birds chirping in the morning, that's what I need. A few laughs, a lot of hugs, and a good shot of chocolate and the ridicule I feel will be history; Hans will be history.

'I'm gonna keep driving my old Twingo through this beautiful forest, I'm gonna live the week of my life, I'm gonna smell the flowers and sing with the bunnies and the squirrels like the very Snowhite, and I'm gonna walk out of here a new woman.

'Who do I want to fool? The tweet of the birds in the morning bothers me like hell. Couldn't they start chirping after 10? What have I done to them?! And, the forest… people say nature is relaxing but, for me, it means flies floating inside my breakfast, allergies, mosquito bites at night, and a terrible cold at bedtime. At least, the company will be really good. I'm looking forward to hearing Elsa's lecture and Olaf's constant jokes about my resounding love failure…

'Was that too much to ask? I didn't expect a perfect relationship, but it would be nice to find a sincere man for whom I was more than just a source of money and prestige; and, well, if given the choice, that he was also sweet, gentle, sexy, and funny.'

And, at that moment, as if all the gods in the high had joined forces to answer my prayers, about 300 meters away, a well-built and attractive blonde came out of the trees and started running toward my car, just like Mitch Buchannon in the middle of the beach, but completely and absolutely naked.

"One single failed relationship and I already lose my mind? How little endurance I have…"

But, if I was gonna lose my mind, at least, I would focus on enjoying the views. But, where would my mind have gotten the inspiration to equip that man so well? Although, honestly, I would have preferred him less sweaty and dirty. And, you know, the face of despair that he put on didn't help to enjoy it…

'C'mon, dear brain, go ahead; you can do it better.'

And boy, did it do it better. Suddenly, a huge dark furry mass appeared behind the man.

"A bear?!"

That was too surreal even for my sudden lack of sanity. It was clear that I was not creating that scene.

"Is that a fucking bear chasing him?!"

So there really were times when the reality was stranger than fiction. I slammed on the brakes and opened the door to the passenger seat just as the blond was catching up to me with the bear hot on his heels.

"Get in the car!"

Buchannon didn't hesitate for a second, dove headfirst into the car, and slammed the door shut just as the bear reached us.

"Go, go, go!"

"I don't want to run over the bear!"

"Go reverse! Do anything!"

The bear began to sniff the car as if trying to discover what strange magic was keeping him apart from his prey, so I took the chance to activate the lock, back up a few meters, and shoot forward, dodging the plantigrade and disappearing from the scene while burning rubber.

About a kilometer further on, with my knuckles white from squeezing the steering wheel, my shoulders almost to my ears, and my eyes still on the rearview mirror from time to time to make sure the bear wasn't really following us, the voice of that blond snapped me back to my awkward reality: there was a naked stranger in my car.