Settling down in the corner of the room, Inuyasha groaned softly at how stiff his muscles felt. For whatever asinine reason he always assumed when Sesshomaru brought someone back they popped up completely healed but every muscle in his body felt rigid and brittle. The discomfort hadn't stopped him - things like that never did - but that didn't mean he liked it. Which might just be in his head. It was still a little hard to wrap his mind around the fact that he died. He'd sworn up and down his entire life that everyone died so there was no need to fear it but…but when his number was up, he had been terrified. All he wanted was to be held and comforted and cry. To be fair, he did get all three. He hadn't cried that hard since Mother died. And all he could think about was who he wanted to hold him and comfort him. Whenever she was there he felt relief. In her arms, he was safe from danger both real and imagined. She made him a braver man than he'd ever been without her.
Sighing heavily, amber eyes blinked open and focused on the silhouette atop the larger than expected bed. Being here with her felt surreal. Honestly too good to be true. In the last moments he could remember, it'd been quiet and peaceful and…and morbidly it really had been one of the happiest moments of his life. As soon as he realized she was there, all his fears melted away like he didn't have anything to really worry about anymore. All he'd cared about, all he'd thought about was the fact Kagome came back in time. Nothing else mattered to him. Not the pain, not dying…
Setting his jaw, Inuyasha swallowed thickly as he bit back tears that prickled at the corners of his eyes. That's how his death been for him. Peacefully slipping away. Feeling loved and relaxed. Honestly, it hadn't been all that bad. For her, though, it'd been traumatizing and possibly the worst moment of her life. Because what else was new. He was involved and all he ever brought her was pain. All he'd ever done was hurt her. She…she made his life worth living and he'd made hers hell. Maybe she'd be better off without him….all he ever did was hurt people and he was damn good at it too.
Feeling rather insecure and despairing, wave upon wave of self loathing washed over him. Where the literal fuck did that happy feeling go? He wanted it back dammit. Why couldn't he have nice things? Other people got nice things.
A single tear slid down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away.
Maybe it was because he broke nice things. That it was written into his blood to be evil. Kagome always made him so…happy and all he'd ever done was make her cry. From the moment he'd met her, it felt like he'd never truly met another person in his life. Which, to most likely everyone else, probably sounded stupid but even his own mother had pitied him. Kikyo had pitied him and everything she'd done was viewed through the lens of mercy. They wanted to spare him because of how he was born. Over something he couldn't change. Kikyo tried to offer him an out. To become human. Something he thought….thought was the only way he'd ever be able to be "normal" or have "nice things."
But then he met Kagome who had never cared about what he was. Who he was maybe. She thought he was an asshole and she was right but that was more a personality issue. To her he was just like everyone else and that had terrified him. At first. Waking up each morning expecting it to be the day she realized her mistake. But…but instead she proved beyond a doubt that…that there wasn't a mistake to be made. He wasn't a mistake. He was just like everyone else.
Jaw trembling, Inuyasha pressed his arms a little closer to his stomach.
Sure, he was physically stronger than most. Different in many ways. But those abilities, those skills, made him an artist not a monster. Just like a painter spent years perfecting each brush stroke, his expertise was fine tuned and the result of experience. His arguably unnatural abilities and very specific skill set made him invaluable not worthless . But without her reassurance, without her constant affirmations, he was fairly sure he'd lose sight of that.
Sniffling lightly, Inuyasha ran the back of his hand beneath his nose before tucking said hand back into his sleeve.
That was, of course, a "now" problem. At first, he wanted her nearby because her reaction to him made him feel a little more normal and less traumatized. All too soon, without even making a conscious decision about it, he suddenly needed her like he needed air and water. And it scared him. Terrified more like. He'd never needed anybody before. Never relied on anyone and suddenly he needed one of her smiles like an alcoholic needed their next drink. There were times he thought she might need him too for reasons that were her own but every time he thought he saw something, she'd get mad at him throwing that theory out the window. He remembered the exact moment the balance of power in their relationship shifted. When he realized he was doing the same thing for her that she did for him. It wasn't even anything that big or important. A smile. A special smile reserved only for him. And he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they were stronger together. In every way.
That of course only terrified him more. Without her, he was nothing. Shippo didn't mean to hit the nail on the head but he did when he called him 'useless' without her. Couldn't focus. Got sloppy. Felt weaker. And one day she'd come back here. To this place. A world he didn't belong and technically was never meant to visit.
And most terrifyingly of all, even his dumb ass had enough brain power to realize he loved her. But back then, he'd convinced himself it was too big a risk to admit it out loud. Too many things could go wrong. Not the least of which being her eventually growing tired of him and moving on to better things. It was way safer to just stay friends when every single thing in his life was complicated and messy. How could he ever explain that though? Use words? Not exactly his strong suit.
Although, to be fair, he had done it once. Told her how much she meant to him. How he needed her but…but she never said it back. Instead, she always left him behind whenever he pissed her off. She knew how he felt and she weaponized it.
Inuyasha groaned and shook his head as soon as that thought passed through his mind.
No, no she didn't do that. Her anger was justified. She was always justified. Kagome had been right all along. He was an asshole. Spineless. Selfish. Weak. And he hurt her. All the time. With words. Without words. With Kikyo. Because he couldn't move forward, couldn't forget and was stuck in the past. He wasn't strong enough to….to…
One shitty personality aside, it all came down to how everyone he'd ever loved got hurt because of who and what he was. Maybe…maybe that was his role in the universe. To cause pain. Ruin lives. Be the cause of untimely deaths. Maybe he should just never love anyone. Maybe no one should ever love him.
Another tear fell as he closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall. Where the literal fuck had that good feeling gone? For a minute there, everything had been sunshine and fucking rainbows. What was even happening to him?
Another tear fell.
One explanation, the most logical one, was that he hadn't really gotten brought back and this was where all the bringers of chaos and destruction got sent when they died. Tortured forever by what ifs. It was too good to be true after all. Getting everything he'd ever wanted. Kagome still loving him. Having Sesshomaru show him mercy. That bastard had wanted him dead since he was born. Receiving even a pin drop of affection from that asshole was more than he ever expected and, yes, he would admit he'd secretly wanted his stupid brother's acceptance. Regardless, since this probably was hell, most likely something bad was going to happen and it'd be his fault. Something very, very bad. What if, in this place, he was going to kill Kagome? Over and over and over again in a loop? Unintentionally of course but…but maybe that was his punishment. To be the cause of her death. Even if it was fictionalized and not real, everything here felt real. Wasn't like he'd ever really know and…
A soft warm hand suddenly cupped his chin while a thumb gently wiped away the tears he wasn't aware were cascading freely down his cheeks.
"Look at me," Kagome's voice pleaded but with a whine, Inuyasha shook his head - unable and unwilling to comply.
"Please."
That simple word killed what little joy still remained and every fiber of his being started to feel numb. He was going to hurt her. He hurt everyone he ever cared about. He'd fail her. He'd…
A pair of soft lips pressed against his forehead as her hand lowered to take his wrist - pulling him with her as Kagome took a step back.
"Come to bed with me,," she ordered gently as he refused to budge, "Come on."
Clenching his eyes shut, Inuyasha roughly pulled his hand back and subtly curled into himself under the guise of irritation.
"I'm fine stupid. You're the one who's useless when you're…"
Kagome once again gripped his chin and forced his head up but instead of yelling like he expected, she pressed her lips against his as she got to her knees. Her hands moving to gently loosen the top of his robes before pushing the fabric over his shoulder.
The quick, brazen action made him pull back with a start.
"W-what the h-hell do you…"
Sealing her mouth over his, Inuyasha's words trailed off into a pleased whimper followed by a soft gasp as she crawled into his lap and straddled him. What the hell indeed. Since when was she so…so…
Her hips rocked against his and his entire body jerked in surprise at the sensation. Lips parting. Heart racing. Skin tingling everywhere her hands touched. Never in a million years would he have imagined…
Whimpering when she rocked against him, Inuyasha's chest heaved.
"Come on," she cooed as she pulled back and cupped his face while he simply stared at her like a deer in the headlights, "You liked cuddling last time. I bet it'll make you feel better."
Blinking rapidly, Inuyasha stubbornly told himself that she was not expecting anything other than cuddling despite…
Her hips rocked against him earning another pleased groan and making his eyes flutter closed.
Okay so apparently she…she had ideas but…but he didn't….he didn't want…not that he didn't…he just…didn't want to…normal, ya know? Marriage and…and honor and…
Biting his lip to keep from making more undignified noises, the ugly truth smacked him in the face and the resulting realization was devastating.
This wasn't real. This couldn't be real. Kagome would never do this. Never...
All rational thought vacated his mind as her lips began tracing his jaw before making their way down his neck - his arms flying up to keep her in place when she found a nerve bundle that sent lightning through his veins. It was all he could do to keep from crying out as every fiber in his body sung.
"Do you want to sleep on the bed now?" Kagome whispered - breath cascading across his skin. Despite telling himself that this was a bad idea, he nodded absently before letting out a soft whine.
Oh fuck yes, he wanted to move this to the bed and at the very idea of what could follow, his hand mindless slid beneath her shirt fully intended on making her as bare chested as he was.
But stopped himself before he let this siren win. This wasn't her. It couldn't be her. Kagome would never, never do something like this. This wasn't Kagome. Despite his best efforts the urge to cry was back.
"S-stop," he breathed shakily - his hips shifting as he fought against the urge to writhe "P-Please stop."
To her credit, albeit with a deep blush, Kagome pulled back and awkwardly backed off of his subtly trembling form."I just thought..."
Inhaling and then exhaling slowly, Inuyasha tried to keep his composure before glancing towards the bed with a mixture of dread and longing.
"You look like shit," he tried to change the subject as he absently shrugged his top back on and pulled his hair to the side, "J-just we can talk later or…"
"Is that why…" Kagome began in a mortified whisper and amber eyes widened in horror as he realized how his statement sounded.
It was the scent shift that did him in. That and the tears. He never could handle her tears and in that moment, he forgot everything else.
"No! No. S'just...you've had a hard day. Month really. I just…I'm worried about you, alright? You need to sleep," he scrambled to reassure her - seamlessly getting to his feet before kneeling in front of her, "I love you and I would love to…to do that... with you... one day but…"
Inuyasha swallowed as she looked at him with heartbreakingly frail hope.
"I just want it to…to be normal," he lied lamely as he sat back on his ankles, "Want this…" he awkwardly gestured between them, "To..to go like…like what...what people normally do, ya know? Except we gotta do it better," he sighed and ran his claws gently over his scalp, "Because me and so everything do s'gotta be…"
Nodding once in understanding, Kagome leaned forward and gave him a soft chaste kiss which he both appreciated and loathed. This hellscape was way too realistic for his liking but Kagome trying to seduce him gave the game away. He had no doubt that if this continued long enough, he'd give in. No doubt at all. He was just a weak, pathetic…
"I think I get it," Kagome sighed as she once again cupped his chin and forced him to look at her, "And while I don't care what people say about me, you clearly do. So I'll follow your lead. In the future."
Inuyasha sagged with a whine as his mind continued firing at an exhausting rate. Maybe he was being stupid. This could be real. After all, Kagome had resorted to kissing to snap him out of things before. Maybe she didn't know how to handle him crying any better than he knew how to handle her tears.
Nodding then, Inuyasha offered her an adoring half-grin before dipping forward and giving her a chaste kiss.
Had to be he was just being stupid. Ruining everything. This was a fresh start. A second chance. They had a chance. Could be she realized time was short. That his time with her would be cut short. One day he'd outlive her. He'd always known that and that was one of the reasons he didn't want to admit how he felt out loud. Surely, Kagome had to have realized that by now so…so maybe she was trying to move fast. Have more time with him or not waste another day seeing as how he already died once and all…
Licking his lips, Inuyasha exhaled slowly through his nose as he tried to better collect his thoughts. While those reasons could be true, what he said technically wasn't as big a lie as he thought. He did want normal. Wanted to do things as close to the rules as possible. If he did, maybe the village would be okay with them settling down there. Think better of him. Respect him more and treat him like he belonged there. Not that they didn't but there was a big difference between occasionally visiting and staying permanently. Settling down. Creating a family. A perfectly normal family. Well, maybe not normal normal but…
And with that thought, a smidgeon of his earlier happiness fluttered in his heart. Just like everyone else he could have a home. Be a husband. A father.
Letting out a soft sigh of relief, Inuyasha tried to forget his earlier stupid thought and focus on being more positive. He was alive. This was real. Problem was he was pretty bad at positivity but he was sure as hell going to try his hand at it.
Blushing slightly and averting his eyes, Inuyasha began shrugging off his loose top and dropped it to the ground - trying and failing to make it look like a carefree every day action.
"Don't gotta be proper all the time though," he offered with a hint of strained playfulness as he took her hand, "That bed does look real comfortable."
"Does it?" Kagome teased - visibly wilting in relief as she got to her feet with his assistance, "I thought we were being normal."
"Oh we are," he promised playfully before making a face and blinking once - since she was trying to move fast, maybe so should he? But…positivity…was apparently hard. Inhaling deeply, Inuyasha decided to play it safe for now. Hint but not flat out ask.
"When do you finish school anyway?"
Somewhat taken off guard by the sudden change of topic, it took Kagome a moment to catch up and even when she did, she couldn't for the life of her figure out why he asked.
"Three years? Why?"
Cringing, Inuyasha gently sat down on the edge of the bed and twiddled his thumbs - yet again a very weird reaction from him but dying seemed to have broken him as much as it'd broken her so Kagome wasn't going to point out his new quirks.
"Do you want to keep going to school? Three years is a long time," he asked as casually as he could muster - casting her a somewhat nervous side-eyed glance.
"I mean..."
"It's okay if the answer is yes," he quickly backtracked, "And I mean...if it'll get your family in trouble then...then..."
Licking his lips, Inuyasha subtly cringed and trailed off, "Never mind. Was just thinking is all."
For the span of thirty seconds, Kagome's mind mulled over his comment while Inuyasha folded his arms in what looked like an insecure and defensive position without his billowing sleeves. He remained silent - staring ahead with a deep frown thinking over whatever it was that he was thinking. Normally that pose came across as having attitude but right now...right now it looked like he was trying to hold himself together. What a difference clothes made.
Reaching over to gently brush the hair away from his face and over his shoulder, Kagome continued trying to figure out his somewhat dejected expression before her eyes widened in sudden understanding. He was feeling her out. Seeing whether certain things were on the table.
She smiled.
"Well, I already manage living two lives," Kagome offered as it clicked where his mind had gone, "I don't see why that can't continue. Or maybe it could change. Under the right circumstances."
Glancing at her, Inuyasha's posture slightly straightened as he considered what she meant by this conflicting statement. And then his lips twitched upwards and he nodded once to himself like he'd understood perfectly.
"We can talk more in the morning. You need to sleep," he offered quietly - leaning over to give her cheek a quick kiss before moving to crawl under the covers. For a moment, Kagome remained where she was before sighing and doing the same. As she settled against his side, in that same position she'd done on that day that now seemed like a bad nightmare, she felt Inuyasha's chest rise and fall beneath her palm.
"Ya know...that thing with the neck was nice," he suddenly opined as he drug his fingertips across her shoulder blade and not-so-subtly bared his throat, "Couldn't complain about it."
"That so?" Kagome hummed as she moved hand and traced his adam's apple with her forefinger which bobbed when he swallowed.
"You could do it again," he offered hopefully as he not so subtly arranged himself and offered her even better access, "If you want."
When Kagome didn't do anything more than smile against his skin, Inuyasha let out a frustrated huff and tried to scoot down so her face would settle where he wanted it to go.
"Just saying it was nice and I wouldn't mind if you did it again," Inuyasha tried again as he reached up and gently pressed on the back of her head but when she resisted, he was officially too tired to keep trying his hand at subtly, "Dammit woman. Kiss my neck."
When she complied, Inuyasha let out a pleased moan as his hand lightly squeezed her shoulder. With each sensitive bundle of nerve she hit, his toes curled, his back arched, his body writhed. Every so often, especially when her free hand began caressing his chest and stomach, she earned a breathy, shuddering 'I love you.'
And then he turned, his arms gathering her against him as he captured her lips. With a few quick adjustments, he hooked her leg over his hip as he began to return the favor. Kissing along her jaw, her neck while his hand began hesitantly worming beneath her nightshirt. That, however, was where he stopped and with a frustrated groan, he tried to ignore the way his body was literally screaming at him for denying its needs. Pressing his temple firmly against her own, he tried to get ahold of himself before he did something stupid. He'd just said...and that's what he wanted...he wanted to do things right. In the normal, ordinary way.
It was weird. The second he got a choice about his future, he chose to be boring and play by the book. A turn of events that was unexpected even to him but it was what it was.
"We should stop," he groaned - gently nuzzling her nose as he tried to cool himself off.
"We have stopped," she pointed out before capturing his mouth once more earning a faint whimper - his arms sliding down to pull her as close as he dared. With each passing moment, the reasons he wanted to stop where he thought this was going filtered out of his mind like water from a sieve until the only thought left standing was a fear of regret.
Swallowing thickly, Inuyasha reached down to unhook her leg and pulled her into him with both arms so she couldn't move. In this position, he could feel her heart thrumming against his skin which seemed to match his own in pace.
"I l-love you," he murmured - burying his nose in her hair as he continued in attempt to douse them both in cold water, "But...but I think we s-should wait. W-we're still not sure-about what happened. What I might be."
He could almost feel Kagome rolling her eyes. The problem with cooling off too was that the thought that this all felt...wrong suddenly remerged. The woman he knew wouldn't try to seduce him. She could barely handle nudity or anything even minimally perverted.
The arms holding her trembled slightly as the unwanted thought that he was still dead and this wasn't real resurfaced in his mind.
"I'm serious," he insisted then as his hand moved onto her shoulder blade and pressed her closer still - trying to come up with a plausible excuse,"I...I still don't...I don't feel right. Stiff. And why would Sesshomaru bring me back? And you..."
"You're stiff?" Kagome asked awkwardly as she slightly shifted her hips which, in his mind, seemed like she was searching for something he wasn't quite ready for her to, um, touch yet, "Like hurting or...something else?"
While Kagome was, in truth, simply concerned he might be in pain and trying to get more comfortable because the half-demon really didn't know how to hug, Inuyasha's mind jumped to the least innocent explanation for what she did and said.
And that settled it. For him. He was dead. This wasn't real. This was hell.
In the span of a nanosecond his heart withered and crumpled to ash. There was absolutely no way this was Kagome. She…she would never say…or even imply something like that. This was all some cruel joke at his expense. Probably seeing how far he'd go so they could laugh at him down the road when the rug was finally pulled out from under him. Life flashing before his eyes, his mind automatically focused on every single moment he'd fucked up or wasted instead of being with her how he wanted.
The air suddenly seemed rather thin.
"You…this isn't real. I'm dead. I'm dead. This is hell,"Inuyasha rasped than her as he gently pushed her away and sat up. Pulling his knees to his chest, he buried his face in his hands before running his fingertips over his scalp - his breath coming out in short uneven pants, "This isn't right. This isn't real. This isn't real. This..."
"O-kay," Kagome stuttered as she realized she might have inadvertently broken Inuyasha's brain by pushing him into something he wasn't ready for, "So...this was too much. Too soon. Noted. We can just…cuddle. Or you can sleep on the floor if you…"
"That's not even the issue. That's…" Inuyasha panted irritably before shaking his head and muttering to himself, "Why am I even arguing? S'not real. None of this is real. I'm such an idiot. Why...why did..."
"Inuyasha, look...I'm sorry. I...I know...I know this isn't...normal for me but you...I lost you once and...and I want to...I just…," Kagome tried to explain her admittedly irrational and uncharacteristic boldness, "I'm scared I'll lose you again. That...that something might happen and...hormones? But I solemnly swear to…"
Inuyasha shakily held up one hand to silence her before wrapping her arms around his knees and hiding his face in the limited space left.
"Just go. Please. You're not her," Inuyasha gasped miserably - his hand darting up to his buried face to wipe away what Kagome suspected was a tear, "You're not her. I died…"
"First off, you might've been dead but you are no longer dead," Kagome pointed out - completely lost on ways to prove to him that he wasn't...wherever he thought he was, "You're very much alive."
"The real Kagome would never have done that," he pointed out bitterly and cringing, the real Kagome would admit he had a point there. Chewing the inside of her cheek, she tried to find a way to prove this was really happening before he uttered something that made that point the least of her concerns.
"Never loved me either. Why would she? I'm…I'm…me," he wallowed out loud which baffled the real Kagome even more. Inuyasha rarely shared his inner workings and he sure as hell didn't offer tidbits up to strangers.
"Inuyasha, I have loved you for a long, long…"
Pressing his hands over his ears, Inuyasha shook his head as he continued rambling - to himself or to her or to who he thought she was or maybe even to the wind…
"I wanted her there, ya know? And then she...she just magically showed up and...and it was perfect. It was perfect. Since when is anything perfect? Wasn't real. None of this was real…"
"You're being stupid. It wasn't perfect. You died," Kagome groaned before cringing and huffing at her uncharacteristic dismissiveness. Not helping. Not helping at all. Might as well have uncharacteristically doused herself in gasoline and lit a match. Same level of crazy at this point.
"Why don't we go to sleep, okay? We'll both feel better in the morning and we can…talk then," she offered quietly but when she reached for his face, his hand quickly and effortlessly wrapped around her wrist and forcibly flicked it away.
"Don't touch me."
"Inuyasha you aren't dead," Kagome groaned as she realized that nothing she said or did was going to matter, "And you know what? If this isn't real, what's so bad about…"
"Because it's wrong. Even if its fake, I'm not...I'm not going to..." Inuyasha huffed as he incrementally raised his head to better glare at her, "I loved her and I'm not going to...to...I don't know. Fuck some random demon just because you stole her face. I'm not doing it."
"Inuyasha..."
"Just so unoriginal," he tried his hand at a insult in the midst of his misery , "Sesshomaru pulled this trick already and…and," he sniffled, "Mother was probably just...just watching and I didn't know her from a stupid demon," Inuyasha continued his disjointed rambling as he once again buried his face - his hand momentarily wiping away the tears dampening his pant leg, "Probably ashamed of me. C-couldn't tell…"
"Inuyasha, don't…"
"I should've…"
As he continued to ramble, Kagome found it very, very difficult not to roll her eyes at this pity party train wreck.
"…I mean, I know why I'm, ya know, here…"
Pinching the bridge of her nose, Kagome tried her best to stay calm and avoid yelling some sense into him.
"…its's not right. It's mean…"
Despite herself, Kagome choked at his strangely phrased conclusion.
"And that…that's all I gotta say about it so I'm not playing along anymore…"
Okay, that did it.
"So what are you going to do then? Leave?"
Inuyasha tensed before slowly shaking his head and wiping one hand under his hidden eyes.
"No," he sniffled miserably, "You still smell like her so...so if you don't mind, I'm going to wait a bit. This...this is the closest I'm gunna get, ya know, and…and I miss her."
Inhaling deeply, Kagome was honestly at a loss of what to do here. Absolutely nothing she said or did was going to make a difference. He was...doing something mentally. Something bad. A nervous breakdown maybe?
"Well, do you want me to hold you?" she offered for lack of anything better to say, "So you can, um, smell better?"
Honestly, she was fully expecting him to say 'no' but instead, after a few minutes, he gave a meek little nod and lifted his tear stained face.
"Just for a little while," he mumbled hoarsely - self-hatred and disgust written on every line of his face, "But no…no kissing or nothing, got it? I won't hesitate to kill you. Even if you do got her face."
Eyebrows shooting straight up into her bangs, Kagome gaped at him for a moment before collecting herself and making a mental note to play it absolutely safe. He might be miserable and a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs right now but if he did hurt her and later realized the truth, he'd go straight off the deep end. Cautiously laying down, she held stock still as Inuyasha stiffly arranged himself against her side - both arms pressed tightly over his heart like he was protecting it while his cheek rested atop her left shoulder. Shockingly though, in almost no time at all, Kagome felt his breath even out. His muscles started to relax and in less than two minutes, he was clearly asleep. Exhausted probably. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally.
Gently arranging his arm so it draped across her stomach, Kagome lay her arm atop it and intertwined their fingers.
"You're okay," she whispered, "It's all going to be okay."
With those softly spoken words, Inuyasha seemed to relax more - his body melting into hers with a tired hum. Tipping her head to rest her cheek atop his hair, Kagome gently fondled his ear earning a soft incoherent mumble.
All that ramble said to her was that he was frightened. Which was absolutely her fault. She should've just…sat him or something except she had the beads in the room and wasn't exactly inclined to put them back on again. She would if he tried to run because he thought this was…hell or something but point being trying to seduce him was…stupid. So stupid. What had she even been thinking? That wasn't like her. Sure, she'd thought about it in the past - she was a healthy teenager after all - but that? She had no idea why she'd done that and now she'd caused problems that could potentially take weeks to fix. Maybe a full month of grieving had broken her brain. For a minute there, it certainly felt like it.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled into the darkness as she continued gently massaging his ear and he hummed softly in his sleep, "Its going to be okay. You'll be okay."
