Australian Animal Adoptions


Alex was sitting in the lobby grinning ear to ear. There were a large number of animals sitting next to him. A few people were scowling at him. A pair of ice-blue eyes fixed on him. He had fun with this assignment. "What is wrong with you?"

Alex felt his grin get even broader. Honestly, there was not a whole lot in the world that could ruin his month at the moment. "Nothing. I thought you said Australia was a hellhole."

The eye twitched. Alex wondered whether he needed blood pressure medication or not. The rumors had been grossly exaggerated. He was beginning to think that most people in Special Operations just hated cute fluffy animals. Alex felt the bunny rabbit he'd picked up snuggle closer to him as the blonde man stepped closer. Poor thing could probably sense the number of times Yassen had eaten rabbit for dinner. The ears poked out of his collar. Alex gently pulled his collar back over them. The blue eyes narrowed further. "Mmm. How many new pets did you pick up?"

Alex rolled his eyes. Like he was going to warn anyone in Scorpia about all of his pets. The working arrangement MI6 had with them was tenuous at best. There was no making friends. For some reason, zero percent of the Scorpia operatives seemed to have gotten the memo. Which meant that all hovered like overlarge and mildly amused and very concerned bats. Complete with the solid black uniform with the shiny silver scorpion. "Not that many! Only like six! And none of them are very deadly."

That drew a slight snort from one of the combat squad members. The bunny ears popped out of his collar again. Yassen twitched ever so slightly. "Relax. It's a cute little bunny rabbit. She was orphaned."

Yassen muttered something unflattering about his sanity under his breath in Russian. Alex elected to ignore him in favor of petting his new furry friend. He fished her out of his shirt just to prove his point. "This is Michelle."

Amusement ghosted across a few of their faces. There was a secretary named Michelle who worked for the board. Alex would deny any relation between the naming of his pet and her until his dying breath. If he had happened to come across her in a full bunny fursuit, that was his business. "And the others?"

Alex rolled his eyes and put Michelle down before walking over to the other cages. The lack of trust was just hurtful. Plus, a bit of animal smuggling to a better home was far from the worst thing that Alex had ever done. Thump! Thump! Thump!

Alex paused in his opening of the cage to look at his rabbit. "Are you throwing a fit because I put you down for three seconds?!"

There was a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh behind him. Fuckers. The lot of them. The rabbit looked him in the eyes before continuing. Thump! Thump! Thump!

Alex let out a sigh. "Oh, fine, you furry brat. You had better behave for this, though."

He picked the rabbit back up and gently put her back into the carrying sling under his collar. Her cold nose was pressed into his chest in no time. "This is Dalia. She's a wren."

The bird was still a little bit shy. Alex slid a few treats into the cage before replacing the latch and the cover. He wasn't going to push it with birds. They could stress and get a heart attack fairly easily. The bunny shifted against him in the sling as he moved to open the lower cage. "This is a cane toad. They're invasive so I doubt Australia will be missing-"

Alex was interrupted by someone trying to ruin his fun. Doubtless a plot by Scorpia. Probably for petty revenge of some sort against him. He liked how all of them ignored the fact that if they hadn't murdered his family in the first place, he would have left them all alone and been a perfectly normal civilian. "Those are toxic."

Alex folded his arms. Honestly. Such a judgmental bunch of people. "I assure you that Mr. Frog's personality is perfectly fine."

The man rolled his eyes. Scorpia operatives were hilariously easy to wind up. Alex wondered how recommending anger management classes for all of them would go. Probably not well. "Not his personality! THEY RELEASE TOXIN THROUGH THEIR SKIN!"

Alex withheld his grin at the expression on his face as he picked up Mr. Frog to show the toad off to the rest of the operatives. He huffed. "Shoosh. You'll startle him."

The man made a noise like a stepped-on squirrel as Alex put the toad back in the cage and folded his arms. If they were going to be unsupportive like that. "I'll startle him. My effing-OOF!"

The man was promptly elbowed in the kidney by one of his comrades. At least someone was being nice about his hobby. The rabbit startled against his chest as he opened the next cage. He pulled the lizard out. It looked kind of like a crocodile. "I found this cool-looking lizard. The rest of them don't like him for some reason."

The entire room looked at him like he'd lost his fucking mind. Alex put the lizard in the cage. Surely it wasn't that bad? "That's a baby salty. I mean, saltwater crocodile. Uh, put that one back."

Okay, they might have a point there. Australia's saltwater crocodiles did get big. Alex pouted. "Fiiiine. You're all such killjoys."

Alex opened the next cage to a small mammal. It was honestly one of the cutest things he'd ever trapped. Theo made him glad that he'd used the non-lethal traps, just in case they caught something other than rats. "This is Theo. He's a sugar glider."

Alex was personally a fan of the soft fluffy fur, the fact that he could feed it all of the fruit he didn't want, and the head stripes. There were some grumbles all around but no major protests. Good. He was wearing them down. Alex grinned. "And, last but not least, I found myself a new dog."

The dog was small and tan-colored. Alex figured that she was some sort of mutt. It wasn't like he wanted some sort of purebred anyway. Plus, she seemed to bring him the occasional dead animal to eat. Alex appreciated the effort. "That's a dingo."

Alex folded his arms. This was why nobody got introduced to his pets. "No, she's not! Tulip is a perfectly good dog!"

Tulip looked up at him. Alex gently petted her. The entire room looked at him. Alex folded his arms with the leash carefully tucked around his wrist. "I'm keeping her. She's a good girl."

He fed the dog another treat for emphasis. There was a collective eye roll. It seemed that he was slowly but surely wearing people down on the idea of him having pets. Yassen scowled at him. "Like I said, Australia is a hellhole."

Alex gave him a puzzled look. Personally, he wasn't seeing it. He grinned at Yassen. "But look at all the new fluffy friends I made!"

The eye twitch he got in response was well worth whatever petty revenge came his way in the future.


Fin


Based on a prompt by mediaboy (see story summary). This is the 115th work in the Winds of Change 2022 Alex Rider Prompt event, where a new prompt (plus a short 1-3K work) is posted every day. For more details, see the AO3 collection :) Want to discuss? Leave a comment beneath, or join the discord (Link on AO3 Fics or just PM me, lol). Want to take part in our Alex Rider anniversary celebrations in September? Join the WoC discord to take part in a fanfic event! Want to showcase your work to your fellow fans and authors? The WoC server has a new feature! Any author who joins can ask to join our authors' feed, which shows all the fics from the authors who opt in, including non-AR fics!