Chapter 4 - Reminiscing

"La…to…"

"La…na..!"

Where am I..?

The only thing I could make out were bright white lights passing from the top of my vision to the bottom. One after another while hearing a familiar voice call out. Everything was so blurry and disorienting. I couldn't move or look around. Each light that passed by felt so blinding. Something about this was familiar… Suddenly the lights began moving slower. I faintly heard a conversation to my right.

"She will be okay, you'll help her right?!"

"Please, we're going to need you to wait outside okay? I assure you we w..ill do everyt..hing we can to…..he..l…."

The words became faint, I couldn't hear what they were saying anymore. Suddenly the sounds of doors pushed open followed by an even brighter light engulfed me, then suddenly…

My eyes shot open.

I stood up slowly, greeted by the sunlight bleeding through my curtains along with the chirping of Taillow outside. I reached for my head, which was covered in sweat, and wiped it away.

I sat on the side of my bed staring off into who-knows-where thinking about the dream I just had. It was silent enough to where I could hear my own heart beat. I shrugged it off and finally recollected my wits and stood up, my "dress" bunched up on my left thigh.

I was always jealous of humans being able to have their dresses removable, it gets in the way more often than you think when it's a part of you, the only positive being that mine couldn't be wrinkled.

It was so quiet that morning...a little too quiet. That's when it hit me. I looked at my wall clock which displayed the time: 9:43. A wave of guilt passed over me. Not only did I somehow oversleep, but Lowen had already left for work…without breakfast.

The kitchen was clean and empty, all except an empty bowl and spoon on the countertop and a carton of milk which Lowen forgot to put back in the fridge. He probably overslept too, judging by the apparent neglect of the lone milk carton.

Once it was back in its proper place, I decided to make myself breakfast. Two eggs and a slice of toast. I always enjoyed the taste of toast smothered in the yolk. Human food was so diverse and unique with so many flavors. Nothing like the boring texture and taste of Pokemon food, which never really branched outside from the usual small brown pellet. I am forever in Lowen's Mother's debt for teaching me to cook.

Lowen's Mother, Charlotte, is a kind and beautiful person. I recall a conversation we once had during dinner preparations where she insisted I call her "Mom". Despite being so loved by her, my nature couldn't forsake formalities, yet Charlotte would somehow break my biological habit. Occasionally, I'd slip and call her Mother, which would lead to moments where she would celebrate and I'd hide my face in embarrassment. She treated me and Lowen as equals, Lowen would tell me how she really wanted to have a second child, a daughter. I suppose that's why she cared for me so much, and entrusted me with caring and protecting Lowen.

[Five Years Ago]

Dinner's ready!

Charlotte called out to the house, which consisted of myself, Lowen, and her own Pokemon: a Lilligant, a Psyduck and a were two sets of food prepared, a decorative plate full of fried cauliflower covered in tomato sauce. I helped prepare the sauce while Charlotte handled the cauliflower. The other plates were food meant for Pokemon, however, they never minded us for eating the fancier meals.

"Grab a plate, everyone! Grab as much as you want! You too, Latona!"

"Thanks, Mom!" Lowen said as he served himself.

I served myself three florets. When suddenly Charlotte served me another one.

"There is plenty, dear, eat." She scolded.

I smiled meekly at her. I love making and eating food, but I didn't want to feel like I was taking that from someone else. I was content with Lowen and Charlotte being more full than myself. I was already used to an athletic diet for battles anyways.

Several moments pass while Lowen and Charlotte have conversations about the news on TV, family members, and things she would see on sale online that she would love to buy. In the back I could see Vigoroth sneak some food away from Lilligant, only to be met with a vine whip to the wrist. Suddenly, my focus was brought back to the dinner table.

"So, Dear, what do you plan on doing now? Are you planning on tackling another League? I hear that Sinnoh is nice this time of year!"

Lowen and I looked at each other and back to her, attempting to hide our disappointment.

"Uhh…well…you see.." Lowen struggled to find his words.

I wiped my mouth with a napkin and decided to help break the news.

"Lowen and I agreed that we shouldn't pursue another battling career."

"Huh!? But why? I understand that Latona…" She paused and looked at me apologetically.

"But surely you can form a new team?"

"I know I can, it's just, it wouldn't be the same, not after what happened. I gave it a long thought and I just don't think I like battling anymore." Lowen explained.

"Latona and I, well, we've been on such a huge win streak, she's amazing, but our luck had to run out sometime. When I realized what really happens to your Pokemon when they lose, I thought of all the Pokemon I hurt over the last year." He continued.

"But that's just a part of the sport, dear. They are regulated after all." She said trying to console Lowen but I knew his mind was already made up.

"Latona, surely you'd want him to go on! Tell him to try again! I know he can do it!" She pleaded.

I gave a bittersweet smile. "I'm sorry, we did talk about this for a while, as much as I'd love to continue seeing our battle career evolve, Lowen has already made up his mind. I can't be of any use to him anymore anyways."

"Hmph.." she twirled a floret with her fork.

"Hey, don't say that! Even if I did continue, I couldn't just leave you behind, you know! It wouldn't be the same!" Snapped Lowen.

My face felt a bit hot hearing his words. Lowen did mention another reason why he couldn't go on was because I couldn't battle anymore.

"Also, Mom..I've been thinking about something else lately…"

[Another memory a year later]

Cardboard boxes were laid about the living room, moving them into place with my telekinesis. It's been about one year since Lowen had told his mother that he wanted to move out. Of course, she didn't take it smoothly, she asked a million questions, most of them starting with the word "Why". She pleaded with me to "knock some sense" into him but I was powerless. She even once tried to get me to hypnotize him out of moving. In the end it took many weeks of negotiating with her to finally come to terms with Lowen moving out.

"That should be the last of it." Lowen said, placing another box on the table. "I'm going to start loading this onto the truck alright?"

"Alright, Master." I nodded.

Charlotte comes around the corner shortly after, just barely maintaining her composure.

"You know, I always feared this day would come. Even though he travelled all over the region for months at a time…this just feels different." She said.

"I understand it's not easy to let go of children like this, but I know he will be alright!"

"Oh Latona, maybe one day you'll see it my way..once you have children of your own."

"Wh-Wha!? M-Me!?"

Charlotte giggled at my flushed face.

"...I'm just worried he's going too fast, I mean, he's only been in a relationship for 2 years and now he's moving out. He's still so young. What if he doesn't know what he's getting into? What if-"

"He will be fine!"

"What if he gets her pregnant!" she says, placing her hands on my shoulders.

"Th-There is no need to worry, he is aware of the hardships to come. He's learned from the best, after all."

"Sigh. I hope you're right."

Vigoroths come in greeting and pick up the remaining boxes and take them outside to the truck. A loud truck door sounded off, signaling the last box was loaded up and ready to move out.

"Alright, that's the last of it, they offered me a ride to my new place so I guess this is it, Mom."

"Honey…please be safe okay? If there's anything you need you know I'll be there for you okay? And if you ever decide to come back, your room will be here for you."

"Thanks, Mom, don't worry alright? I'm only moving 30 minutes away. I'll make sure to visit often!"

"I want texts every night before bed, too! Otherwise I won't be able to sleep!"

"Alright! I promise! I gotta get going, alright?"

Charlotte leaned in to hug him before sending him off.

"All set, Latona? Let's go." Lowen stepped outside.

Before I could follow him, Charlotte grabbed my arm and pulled me into a tight hug. My eyes went wide.

"Please take care of him, for me. I know him more than anyone. He's going to need help eventually, could you just…be there for him?"

"Of course, I promise!"

"...Thank you."

[Present day]

It feels like so much and yet so little has happened since then. I looked down at my empty plate. I hadn't even realized I had finished my meal. I took my plate and placed it in the sink. I was still a bit groggy so I decided to wash the dishes later. I cleaned up the sofa which was still messy from last night. The shuffling around I did while fixing the sofa made my hair fall over my half open eyes, which made it particularly difficult to see. I wasn't the naturally kept Kirlia that I used to be. I made my way to the bathroom for some self grooming. The house was empty and quiet, so I had all the time I wanted to put myself back together.

The shower I rewarded myself with felt so nice, the hot water hitting me melted away the morning grogginess. As I stepped out I placed the towel over my head, drying my hair and then wrapped myself with it. I sat in front of the mirror in my room and fixed my hair with a comb Charlotte gifted to me before we left. Once the last wild strand of hair was back in place I looked at myself in the mirror.

Lately, I was becoming disappointed in the fact that I was a Pokemon. All my life I had been raised…like a human. Learned to eat like one, talk like one, think like one. I had wondered if my Psychic nature along with my experiences had caused me to develop some type of dysphoria. I toyed with the thought of being able to be that daughter that Charlotte wanted, she probably would've been happier that way. Perhaps Lowen would notice me more that way too.